(origins)Victor Creed Anti-discrimination Rant #369

You are not hard to love (Nikki x Tommy)

A/N: Spiritual sequel to this one but can be read as stand alone too. I’m always super insecure about posting my fic here because to my brain they just suck ™

Summary:  Recovery isn’t easy and Nikki knew it, but fuck he didn’t expect to be so hard. Especially he didn’t expected to feel like he was poison his sweet Tommy.

The rain was falling down slowly and Nikki loved that. He always found it relaxing almost comforting meanwhile Tommy hated when it was raining, everything was too dark and gloomy for him.

Hearing the little drops falling down always helped the bassist to sleep better, but this time it wasn’t enough. His mind has been tormenting him all day and the cravings got so much worse, during the AA meeting the therapist told him that he used drugs to escape from his past. Heroin made him numb and gave him the illusion to have control over his haunting memories.

So many people believed in the “ they can get better for me” fairytale when their partner decides to get clean but that’s nothing easy when it comes to that, life isn’t peaches and cream… addictions don’t go away just like that, and most importantly you have to get better for yourself first.

Just because he went to rehab and now he was going to AA meetings it didn’t mean he still didn’t get cravings. Actually right now it was even worse because he was digging down to the core and he couldn’t use anything to distract himself.

Just him and his past.

Shame and guilt were constantly haunting him since that night after his death, when Tommy broke down in his arms. Tommy, the poor boy had to put up with him every day and he had no idea how many times he kept the drummer wake because he needed to be comforted after a nightmare, or how many times he held his hair while he was puking ( sometimes he even puked on the poor Tommy), he lost count of all the times he hugged him when he was freezing.

He noticed how Tommy wanted to help him and how sad he was to see him struggling, but he was no superhero he couldn’t always rescue him even if in Nikki’s eyes he was his savior.

Almost as Tommy could hear his thoughts he heard him walking into the living room, hugging Nikki from behind.

“Baby it’s early, what are you doing awake?” The bassist asked surprised, Tommy was anything but an early bird.

“It’s raining and I can’t sleep if you are not hugging me, you know that. Why are you still awake?” He gently started to rub circles on Nikki’s back.

“ I couldn’t sleep, you know rain calms me…”

“Polar opposites I guess, you love it and I hate it”

Nikki couldn’t help but smile a little, however the guilt came back quickly. It wasn’t only that it felt like he was poisoning the younger man, forcing him to live one of the worst experience of his life just because he loved the bassist.

Tommy was happy and bubbly, easily excited and a child at heart meanwhile Nikki was just a fucked up, a junkie coming from a broken home who never knew what love was until he met Tommy. Why  was he even bothering wasting his time with him? He was damaged goods… too broken to be repaired.

Sure he was taking his life back together but he knew he was bound to fail.

“Why are you doing this Tommy?” Nikki whispered loud enough for Tommy to hear him.

“Doing what?”

“Keep putting up with me, why?” He looked so confused, it wasn’t possible for him that somebody cared for him like that.

“ I already told you Nikki…” Tommy always tried to deviate the conversation but Nikki was sick of this, his brain was filled with self-hatred and he felt the anger raising.

“ No Tommy I don’t fucking know it because you always avoid telling me!” He scoffed.

Irritability. It was a constant, the cravings made him angry and not being able to have control made him frustrated, unfortunately most of the time Tommy was the victim of his wrath. See? Another fucking reason to leave him for good.

He was a lunatic out of his mind and the hurt look on Tommy’s face made him sick. Fucking cunt, what the fuck are you doing?!

“What do you want me to do, leave you alone like everyone else did? Shouldn’t you have learned by now that you can’t push me away?!”

His voice was firm and his grip tightened around Nikki almost as he was scared the bassist could run away.

“Don’t you fucking get it? If you stay with me I’m going to break you! Don’t you see the mess I’m now? It will only get worse and you’re going to get stuck with a mental case!”

Those words were filled with venom, it was so easy for him to get angry at himself almost comforting in a twisted way because that’s what he was used to, being comforted and helped didn’t feel right. That’s why he pushed Tommy away, to prevent to get hurt and feeling all the emotions he was hiding.

“If you think that getting away from you is going to help me in any way, then you must have forgotten how bad I was feeling when you came back from the hospital.”

Nikki couldn’t forget it even if he tried. The dead light in Tommy’s eyes, he tears on his cheeks, when he confessed that we wanted to be dead if Nikki wasn’t alive anymore. There was no way out, he either hurt Tommy by being with him or by leaving him.

“You’re not a waste of time” Tommy said it like it was the easiest thing ever and Nikki wanted to scream because these were just lies.

“Don’t…”

“You are not too hard to love, you deserve love”

No no, I fucking don’t! Everybody shoved me that I don’t, every single person who was supposed to love me didn’t! How could you say that?!

“ I fucking love you. I chose to be with you and I choose you, all of you even the painful parts, even the parts you think are fucked up.” Tommy’s heart was pounding, scared to have pushed things too far and Nikki’s silence was just adding more anxiety.

The bassist lift his gaze but he was absolutely terrified until he felt a tiny tear falling down his cheek, without even thinking Tommy took him into his arms and Nikki melted into his embrace. He buried  his head in the other man’s chest and let it all out, Tommy was silent and he was grateful for that because words were useless right now.

“It’s okay Nikki, you can let it all out” a voice inside him said while his boyfriend was gently petting his hair.

He had no idea how much time has passed, he felt exhausted but Tommy’s arms were still holding him and his words floating in his mind.

“You are not hard to love”

“I choose you, all of you”

How was he supposed to believe that? How could Tommy say it so openly? How could he love him so easily?

“Do you want to get to bed?” Tommy asked, rubbing his back.

“ Can we… can we stay here?” Nikki felt so pathetic for asking that, he wasn’t a small child for fuck’s sake, but the drummer didn’t say anything, just stretched his arm and grabbed a blanket to put over them.

The sound of the rain and Tommy’s steady heartbeat calmed him down enough to close his eyes. He took his boyfriend’s hand in his and spoke to him.

“Tommy”

“Uh?!”

“ I love you so fucking much. You are the best thing happened to me” It was a whisper but he knew Tommy heard it.

“ You are not alone, I won’t leave you alone”.

Tommy’s voice was firm and even if Nikki’s trust issues made him doubt he knew his boyfriend really mean it. He stuck with him even during possibly the hardest period of his life, so why would he leave when things would get easier?

Maybe he just had to let himself go, let Tommy and his love get inside him without any fear.

“You won’t hurt me?” It was a desperate whisper but he needed to know.

“ I won’t hurt you Nikki, I promise.”

Nikki looked him in the eyes and he knew he could believe him.

Pride (Tommy x Nikki)

Title: Pride

Summary: The paparazzi find out about Tommy and Nikki, resulting in  Tommy’s demons  to come back at full force.

Warnings: Homophobia, depression, suicide attempt, language, but it does get sweet I promise.

Keep reading

dude omegaverse AUs are lowkey insanely sex positive because 90% of everything revolves around sex and everyone is completely fine with it like imagine taking a week off work to get railed to hell and back and your coworkers being 100% okay with it there's no gossip or drama or anything just mark from HR getting his guts rearranged nonstop tuesday through saturday and coming back to work on monday with a fresh bitemark on his neck and meeting his colleagues for lunch like nothing happened what a LIFE

Imagine Alice Cooper and David Bowie writing a rock opera together

Who is he?

part 3 (a)

a/n: kinda spoiler but this is just a build up for the next two chapters. the calm before the storm 😈

warnings: im not really sure there are any

part 2

enjoy ★

Slash stares at them. He's not entirely sure how to feel. Axl was sitting on the wall with a black haired, pale, scrawny looking boy. All they were doing was sharing a joint. That's not what bothered him. People share joints all the time. What bothered him was how quickly he seemingly moved on.

Nat looks up at him, "are you okay? She carefully asks. He opens his mouth to answer, but Axl spots him, "shit," he says, a little too calm.

Axl comes over to them, the black haired boy following curiously. "Hey..." Axl says, looking down at the ground. Nat backs away a little. Slash stays quiet. "Uh... haven't seen you around in a while," Axl says, looking at Slash but not making eye contact.

"Been sick," Slash says, shrugging. Axl notices his bandaged wrist, and he immediately grabs it, "shit, what happened?" Slash feels his eyes welling up. He didn't realise how much he actually missed the ginger prick until now. The way he was gently holding his wrist and the concern on his face just like when they were dating.

They finally make eye contact.

They stare at each other silently. It wasn't hate. It wasn't love, it wasn't remorse, it wasn't guilt. It wasn't anything. But it was overwhelmingly all of those things at the same time. Slash breaks the silence after a long while, "who is he?"

Axl drops his wrist and clears his throat, "uh, t-this is Izzy... he moved here last week," Izzy smiles slightly. It was clear he didn't know about Slash and Axl. He was angry. "New friend of yours?" Axl at him with the same amount of rage. The way Slash had put an emphasis on 'friend' meant he knew there was something between the two of them. Both of them were angry with eachother.

Axl smiles angrily, "yep. New... friend."

"Uh, Slash?" Nat chimes in. He looks at her, "what?" She grabs his hand, "my dad... he's waiting for us... come on, you need to eat" Slash sighs and nods, "yeah, yeah, I'm coming," he says, then looks back up at Axl.

Nat has to physically drag him away.

Another few weeks pass. Slash and Axl had done a great job avoiding eachother. Nat was doing everything she could to distract him, and the thing that worked best was talking about her own love life.

It was a Saturday night, Slash was at her place helping her get ready for her date with Michelle.

"How many dates have you been on with this girl?" He asks. "Four" Nat replies, trying to fix her makeup. "Do I get to meet her?" She pauses. "Not yet..." He scoffs, "why not?" She looks at him and frowns, "because I'm not ready to introduce her yet!"

Slash sighs, "yeah, alright. You ready to go?" Nat smiles excitedly, "I think so... I'm really nervous. I might puke." Slash drops Nat off for her date and then he drives back home. On his way, he spots Axl and Izzy sitting in the park.

He grips the steering weel tighter, staring at them angrily. They were simply chatting. Until Axl looked over and saw Slash staring at them.

Suddenly Axl couldn't keep his hands off Izzy, grabbing him, kissing him, holding him. Slash drove off, pretending like he didn't care. Like it wasn't the most painful thing he'd ever experienced.

He drove off into the night, driving around aimlessly.

"John could say things about Paul, but if anyone said anything bad about Paul, John would take a swing at you. He’d say, “You can’t talk about Paul like that.” Paul was his best buddy. If you were talking to Paul, and you said something derogatory about John, he’d get up and leave. Paul was more of a peaceful guy, but John had that hot head, and he would say, “You wanna talk about Paul? Let’s go.” You weren’t allowed to say anything bad about Paul or John to each one of them."

-Alice Cooper

Michelle

part 4 (a)

a/n: well ive been putting this off for ages x

warnings: uh idk just read with caution i cant fucking remember, kinda hinted sexual stuff, CLIFFHANGER 🏋🏽‍♂️

part 3

Weeks had passed. Nothing had happened. Although Izzy was starting to feel used the more he was with Axl. Slash avoided Axl like the plague, but when he couldn't, Axl would show off Izzy in the most intimate ways. From an outsiders perspective, they simply looked like newfound lovers. But in reality, they were never intimate unless Slash was around.

Slash decided to spend all of his time with Nat. She had been going out on dates with Michelle, who Slash still hadn't met. Until today.

Michelle was this tan, curly black haired girl who was much taller than both of them. She was stunning, like a model. "You're Slash?" Michelle asks. He nods. Michelle laughs, "what kind of name is Slash?" He glares at her, was she stupid? Or was she just trying to be irritating?

Slash immediately didn't like her. She had this strange vibe. He didn't like it. "It's a nickname, actually. My name's Saul, but everyone calls me Slash. You will too," he says. Nat gives him a look as if to say 'what are you doing?'. Michelle gives him a strange look, "I will too?" She asks. Slash nods, "only people I'm close with call me Saul." Slash states, quite bluntly, but he doesn't care. There's something off about this woman.

Throughout their lunch period, Slash notices several things wrong with Michelle. They were in a secluded area, so they didn't have to hide from anyone.

Multiple times, Nat tried to kiss Michelle, and each time, it ended up as a peck on the cheek, seemingly by accident. Slash knew better.

Nat would try to hold her hand or put her arm around her, and Michelle would come up with a different excuse to get up momentarily.

Michelle had mentioned all of her past ex boyfriends. Boyfriends. Not a single girlfriend.

Michelle was friends with some of the most popular people in school, including the two guys who had attacked Slash after he was outed.

When lunch was over, Michelle hurried off way too quickly for Slash's liking. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Nat asks, punching him in the arm. Slash lets out a pained sound, "Owwwhat?!" He glares at her, rubbing his arm. "You were so rude to her! What was that about?!" She looked genuinely angry at him, which worried him. She was completely manipulated by this girl.

Slash sighs, deciding to tell her the truth, "I don't trust her, Nat." She glares at him, "what do you mean? You only just met her!" Slash groans, "She had an off vibe! There's something she's hiding, something she's keeping from you! I mean, did you not see how many times she shot you down when you tried to hold hands, or kiss, or hug, or do anything remotely couple like?" Nat sighs, "she's new to the school! She doesn't know it like we do. She was probably scared of getting caught!"

Slash takes a deep breath, "just be careful around her, please? She's friends with the most popular people in school so just be careful, okay?" Nat rolls her eyes, "fine." She decides to tell him what he wants to hear, even with no real intention of 'being careful'.

Nat hurries off to class before he can say anything else. Slash sighs. He turns around to go to his own class and bumps into Izzy. He panics slightly and mentally prepares himself for a scene in front of everyone. Instead, Izzy looks at him, "hey, sorry man. Didn't see you turning," he shrugs and walks on. He wasn't trying to be rude and Slash could tell.

Slash follows him with his eyes. Izzy seemed like a genuinely nice, laid-back guy who he could probably get along with well. The only problem was Axl. Izzy was being used. Slash almost felt bad for him until he saw Axl grabbing him once again in suggestive ways to piss Slash off and still keep their relationship hidden.

Slash stands there staring at them. For some reason, this particular moment really angered him.

Izzy smiled nervously at Axl and said something to him before walking off to class. Axl starts walking in a different direction. Slash decides to follow him, knowing he was skipping his last two classes of the day.

They get to the tree when Slash loses his temper, "what the fuck is wrong with you!? What are you trying to do!?" Axl stops and turns to look at him, "you creep, did you follow me here?" Slash nods, "yeah, I did. I'm sick of this. Why are you using that guy? What's he done to you? Nothing! You're just trying to piss me off! You're hurt because of what I said and did, and I get that, but that doesn't mean you get to use someone else! He's a person too, and he seems like a genuinely nice guy, and he doesn't deserve to be absolutely flat out miserable with you, knowing he means nothing to you! And what's worse is i can tell you originally just wanted to hang out with him but for some reason your sick and fucking twisted mind decided he would be the perfect 'thing' to use for the sole purpose of trying to piss me off and it's not fair! It's not fucking fair, Ax!"

Axl stands there, completely dumbfounded. Slash storms off before letting Axl reply. He walks around for a while before realising he hasn't eaten. He walks to Natalie's dad's diner to get food. He stays there until the end of the school day before walking back to school because he still wants to take Nat home.

He sees her walking hurriedly to the gate and grabs her arm, "hey, where are you going?" She looks up at him, "home?" Slash glares at her, "why are you in such a rush?"

"I'm meeting Michelle at her place. I need to go home and get ready!" She exclaims, Slash sighs, "alright, well, let me give you a ride, yeah?" Nat nods, "okay."

Slash gives her a ride back to her place and waits while she gets herself dolled up, then drops her off at Michelle's. He watches her walk in with the worst anxiety. Somethings not right.

For the first time, Michelle and Nat actually share a kiss. Which quickly turns into a heavy makeout session. And then stripping. But only Nat. But she doesn't realise. Michelle does everything she can to turn her into a worked up and excited mess.

She has her layer out, 'ready for her'. It's gonna happen, Nat thinks to herself. Michelle excuses herself to grab something that she claims is very important, which only fuels her excitement. After a while, she comes back.

"Is that a camera..?"