Day 3 Of Semester 4 As Marine Biology Undergraduate - Part 2

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Today i fall asleep without watching bts live at wembley.. i'm not gonna lie i'm crying right now 😭 what is wrong with me 😫😫😫😫 why am i like this i deserved to die 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

The saddest thing is as we grow older we can't even make time for our dearest friends who were there with us from beginning 😔

Please like this tiktok video... pwease

Tiktok

HWSTD 🐢 By Loweena Gonasegaran (S60009) @seatru_umt #WORLDSEATURTLEDAY2022 #WECAREFORTURTLES #KITAJAGAPENYUKITA #TURTLETOKUMT2022 #SEATRUUMT

🚩Looking for friend!!

Hey there! I hope you're having a great day. Which I hope I'll have soon. The reason I'm writing this post now is because I am looking for a friend. I'm sick of waiting for a miracle, hoping that my friend will surely appear in front of me and we'll have the great time of my time. I'm tried of spending my time alone with no one beside me to create memories or share the memories with me, to laugh with me and to be there when I am having a hard time. I no more want to be jealous of other who have friends, who go together everywhere there are going, or eat together or celebrate each other's birthdays together. Thus, here I am looking for a friend. At least an online friend. Below are about me:

Name: Loweena

Nationality: Malaysian

Age:21

Zodiac: Capricorn

Characteristics: Willing to change myself, as long as you stay as my friend. I just need a friend. Anyone. From anywhere. From any age. It doesn't matter. I can be your friend.

SLIDE TO DM IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN BECOMING MY FRIEND.

Right. I’m a lawyer. I shouldn’t give up on my Sejarah. I have to work harder.

Oh God! please give me lots of strength to deal with this. 🙌🙏❤

So the club I am part of is planning on doing some projects and they're apparently looking for program director to lead the programs. I would like to apply myself for the position but I am so scared of doing it. Because of some not good events from my past, I could seem to bring myself forward for any kind of events. I am scared that I'm going to be lost with no help or get myself stressed while working on the project. What if I really got lost without any help? What if I fail to finish the project and embarrass my advisor too? These questions are torturing me. I don't think I can ever stand my lecturer or my educator looking at me with that humiliating face as if I'm useless one more time. I don't even have any friends or just anyone to rely on. I really really wish to overcome this fear of mine. But it's too hard to do it. It's very scary despite my desire. What should I do?

Today's Moon. It was hidden behind dark clouds, playing hide and seek with the eyes searching for it to be mesmerized by its beauty. But no matter how much it tried to hide, it still shone. Just like many of us.

Know what's the worst feeling is? It is to not know what you did to that person who have been talking with you very friendly that that person stopped talking to you all together. You will have countless thoughts on what could have went wrong, are you really the one to be blame, or did you said something wrong that made them feel hurt, or did you ever crossed the line with them, or could it be that you did something to their precious person that they don't want to talk with you anymore or is there someone else behind everything, or could it be that they have their own problem that they couldn't talk properly (But that still doesn't make sense though sometimes, when you see them talking to others like normal. How could they talk to other nicely but you?). Countless thoughts with no proper answer on when where it went wrong and what caused all these.

And the worst shit is that I have been going through this shit for more than 10 years now.

Sometimes, it is not always what you see or what you hear. There's always more to it. And never a single time I felt included. No. Not even once. Maybe that's why I wasn't so fond of it. Or maybe that's why I want to leave. You have be selfish sometimes in order to save yourself. And in this case, I'll always choose myself. Because for me, it was never us. It has always been them.

The day my sticker completely disappear, I'll remove myself from this too. Unless, I feel included at least by then.

Help that is given but not at the moment it needed the most is useless.