The Reason Us Gays Gotta Come Out Of The Closet Is To Make Room For All The Flannel We Buy

the holy trinity

THIS BITCH WHIMPERS

Made lavender vanilla bean scones 🥺☁️ Ik it isnt so studyblr related but I’m very proud of them

Hello! I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to say that I love your blog! I've tried out some of your recipes, and they're all soooo good! Oh! I also wanted to know if you know any recipes for hot cocoa?

Aww, thank you so much! I’m so glad you like them ^_^ and I do happen to have a recipe for hot cocoa!

HOT COCOA TO WARM A ICY HEART POTION

Is there one person in your life that just absolutely gets on every one of your nerves? Do you still have to associate with them even though they make your teeth grind? This hot cocoa will calm your nerves and release your heart from its icy cadge. You will then find a little more tolerance to deal with said person.

What you will need:

2 Hershey bars

2 tbsp vanilla sugar

2 tbsp cocoa powder

1 soft caramel candy

1 tbsp condensed milk

1/4 tsp instant coffee (not coffee grounds, I’ve made that mistake before lol)

3 cups milk

Whipped cream

Directions

Heat your milk and condensed milk on medium heat. Add in your vanilla sugar, caramel candy, and instant coffee. Melt in your chocolate chips and stir in cocoa powder. Let simmer for about 5 minutes before ladling into cups, and serve with whipped cream.

Take your hot chocolate into a quiet place and sit in the center of the room. Say this incantation three times before pressing your lips to the cup and drinking it.

“Rosewood, vanilla, and other lore,

No longer will you send shivers down my core”

Drink and enjoy!

So a couple years ago

My family of 7 went To Walmart and I have a little sister who was potty training at the time. Anyway, we were shopping for baby stuff because 7 was going to become 8. Any we passed those potties they have on the shelves. Suddenly we couldn’t find my sister, and we looked around and SHE WAS POOPING IN THE POTTY ON THE SHELF IN THE MIDDLE OF WALMART. WE HAD TO BUY IT

I figured I might as well post this here

Kaz had not spoken to Erin for a couple days. He’d spent most of his time in a corner trying to hide while he threw up, or making Matthias go over the plan again. Every once in a while he spotted her teaching Wylan how to make a chart, and giving Rotty orders. She’d make an excellent captain. He tried to hide the flutter in his chest when he saw her marking the parchment, pen in her mouth and various tools in her hand. It pained him not to speak to her- but he felt that he’d only make it worse. Kaz Brekker didn’t apologize. It wasn’t in his nature.

Erin stood tall at the back of the ship, keeping her eye on the horizon as the sun went down. Her hair whipped her face, she had forgotten a hair tie. Kaz limped his way over to her.

“Are we on schedule?”

Erin nodded before pulling out her compass and moving to the table she had fastened next to the wheel. Her hands moved over a map of the continents, pointing to about an inch above Ketterdam.

“Wzr hvre” she said through the pen in her mouth. Kaz snatched it from her,

“Try again.”

“We’re here.”

Kaz looked at the maps, analyzing them. He knew roughly what everything was, but how they worked was beyond him. He wondered where she learned all this. There was a silent agreement between them, she didn’t ask about his past and he didn’t ask about hers. Although it seemed relevant that he knew how she obtained all this knowledge.

“Where did you learn to make star charts?”

His fingers brushed over the half full parchment, it had scribbles of constellations on it. Erin glanced out to the sea briefly.

“Does it matter?”

“It matters to your investment value”

Of course. Everything came with a price tag. Erin thought for a moment

“I didn’t go to a school for it, if that’s what your getting at.”

He didn’t have to know about her father. Kaz nodded, fidgeting with the sextant. He wanted to know more, he wanted to know everything, really.

“A family member then?”

Erin faltered for a moment.

“Where did you learn to lock pick?”

Kaz furrowed his brows. Point taken. Thinking about Jordie was painful, and this mystery person was probably painful for her to talk about as well. He cleared his throat, thinking of something else to say. Kaz never found stars that interesting, he preferred to focus on the things he could steal.

“Have you sailed to Fierda before?”

Erin chuckled. It was sweet with a bitter aftertaste.

“No. I haven’t.”

“Then how do you know where we’re going?”

“Figuring it out as we go”

Kaz looked at her with concern.

“What?” His voice tightened.

Her fingers dance over the charts as she explained.

“Well, if the constellations in Ketterdam are like this-“ she pulls a chart out,” right now, then they should look like this,” a different chart appears on the table,” in Fierda.”

Kaz was a clever man. He could manipulate a lawman into committing horrible atrocities. But this…. This made his head spin. He just nodded, and acted like he understood.

“And these? He points to what looks like graphs”

Erin’s picks them up

“These are the tidal charts from the past 5 years. They’ll tell me where not to sail.”

Kaz’s lips turned into a small smile. If there was one thing to be admired about Erin, she does her research. The sun lowered below the sea, leaving them in darkness. Their home. Erin grabbed a lantern and flicked a match, lighting it and setting it down. The firelight reflected against Kaz’s flint eyes, making them seem almost green. Erin’s cheeks flushed and she turned to the wheel.

“You should sleep.” she said.

Kaz leaned against the table, watching the waves behind them as the ship pressed on.

“Rotty can take over for you.” He said, almost in a whisper. In the past 3 days he hadn’t seen anyone but her at the wheel. He was sure she was only staying awake on power naps. She shook her head.

“If Rotty goes to far of course it could be difficult to get back on track. Can’t risk missing the festival.”

Kaz rolled his eyes. Missing the festival would be the least of their problems if she passed out from exhaustion.

“You need sleep. You risk the crew sailing without proper rest.” It was more of a demand, than a statement.

“If-“

“I wasn’t asking,” Kaz spoke, taking the wheel from her. Erin simply nodded, stepping back towards the stairs. She turned, her hair shining from the lantern. She waited for him to say goodnight to her, but he didn’t. He stood silently at the wheel watching as she disappeared into the cabin.

Strawberry Trifle

Ingredients:

Vanilla Pudding (store bought or homemade, recipe below)

Castella Cake (homemade or store bought, recipe below)

Strawberries

Whipped Cream (300 ml heavy cream, 40 g white granulated sugar)

Instructions

1. Create a layer of castella, then fill the sides with half cut strawberries. Then dice some strawberries, enough to create a whole new layer.

2. Top with the pudding, then add another layer of castella. You can add strawberries again but I didn’t.

3. Add your whipped cream and top with whole strawberries. Serve and enjoy!

Homemade Vanilla Pudding

2 ½ cups half and half

½ cup granulated sugar

¼ cup lightly packed light brown sugar

3 tablespoons unsalted butter

1 teaspoon vanilla bean paste or pure vanilla extract 

2 ½ tablespoons corn starch (I used 7 tsp of arrowroot flour)

Instructions

In a medium saucepan, bring 2 cups of half and half to a simmer (do not boil). Add both sugars and vanilla. Cook until the sugar is completely dissolved, stirring constantly to prevent scalding. Stir in the butter until melted. In a small bowl, whisk together the remaining half and half with the cornstarch. Slowly add the cornstarch mixture to the half and half whisking constantly. Continue cooking until the mixture has thickened and coats the back of a spoon. Transfer the mixture to a bowl and cover with plastic wrap being sure the plastic wrap is touching the top of the pudding. (This will prevent a skin from forming.) Refrigerate for 2 hours or up to 24 hours.

Homemade Castella

6 large eggs (50 g each w/o shell) (at room temperature - very important!)

200 g sugar (1 cup)

200 g bread flour (1 ½ cup + 2 ½ Tbsp) (See Notes)

80 ml honey (⅓ cup; 5 Tbsp)

2 ½ Tbsp water (warm)

Honey Mixture for Brushing Castella

1 Tbsp honey

½ Tbsp water (warm)

INSTRUCTIONS

Gather all the ingredients.

Cut parchment paper to fit the baking pans (See the video for this process). https://youtu.be/a2vaM_aRHv4

Preheat oven to 320 ºF (160 ºC). (I always do this before I bake the dessert)

Sift the bread flour with the sifter or a fine-meshed strainer twice. Holding the handle with one hand and tapping the strainer gently with the other, the flour will gradually sift through the strainer.

Add 2 ½ Tbsp warm water to honey and whisk well.

Fit the mixer with the whisk attachment. Crack eggs into the bowl and vigorously whisk until combined.

Add the sugar

Beat the eggs and sugar on high speed (Speed 10) for 5 minutes.  The volume of the beaten eggs will increase about 4 times. The texture will be thick and the color will be pale yellow. When you stop the mixer and lift the whisk attachment, the mixture should fall in ribbons.

Add the honey mixture into the egg mixture and whisk on low speed (Speed 2) until combined, about 30 seconds.

Add the bread flour at three separate times: add 1/3 of the bread flour and whisk on low speed (Speed 2) for 15 seconds, then add more flour and whisk for 15 seconds. Add the last remaining portion and whisk until just combined for about 1 minute. Do not overmix.

Spray the loaf pans with oil and spread out evenly with pastry brush.

Put the parchment paper in the pans and make sure the paper sticks to the pans. If not, add oil and spread out evenly with a brush.

Pour the batter into the pans (about 80% full).

Using a skewer, draw a zigzag line to remove the air bubbles in the batter.

Level batter in each pan by holding pan 2-inches above counter dropping it flat onto counter. Do this several times to release air bubbles.

Bake at 320 ºF (160 ºC) in the middle rack of the oven for 35 to 40 minutes, or until golden brown and a skewer inserted in the center comes out clean.

Mix 1 Tbsp honey and ½ Tbsp warm water in a bowl and apply the honey mixture on top of the cake with a pastry brush.

Place a sheet of plastic wrap on the counter top. Take out the cake from the pan to the plastic wrap, top facing down. Gently peel off parchment paper.

Immediately wrap the cake with plastic wrap to keep the moisture and while it’s hot store in the refrigerator overnight (at least 12 hours), keeping the top side facing down. This will help the cake have more fine and moist texture.

To serve, slice off the sides of the cake with a sharp bread knife and cut into ¾ to 1 inch thick slices (you get 7-8 slices total). It’s better if you bring the cake to room temperature before serving.

Shook™