Blackout Poem Made Of Disability Benefits Applications And Denial Letters:

I feel like half my body needs to be soaked in ice while the other half covered in heating pads…just the issues of chronic pain ⋋_⋌

Instagram: abookandadream

For anyone that needs a reminder

Just because you’ve been struggling for so long, longer than people think you should be, that doesn’t mean you are faking it

Just because people don’t understand that there are good days and bad days, that doesn’t mean you are faking it.

Just because even you are doubting yourself and your body, that doesn’t mean you are faking it.

Just because you’ve been in pain for so long you don’t remember what life was like before pain, that doesn’t mean you are faking it

Just because there are days you feel like you don’t even need the cocktail of medicine you take every day and night, that doesn’t mean you are faking it.

Just because people with the same condition have worse symptoms than you, that doesn’t mean you are faking it.

Just because your symptoms are unpredictable, that doesn’t mean you are faking it.

YOU. ARE. NOT. FAKING. IT

YOU. ARE. NOT. AN. IMPOSTER 

I hate the idea that I have to be good and well-behaved bc I'm disabled. I'm an evil little guy who exists to cause mischief in a redneck town

I'm starting a collection

Me: *knitting casually* LOUD THUNDER CLAP Me: 😱😬😳 *KNITS FASTER*

Such a beautiful thing and no I didn't just ball my eyes out lol (I cried hard because I needed that) Thank you

Prayers for Suicidal Hellenic Polytheists

(I’m having a really bad suicidal day, so this is inspired by @aro–aphrodite)

May Zeus provide you the strength to live, and the safe refuge of his protection for when the urges become too much.

May Hera remind you in your darkest hours, the most important relationship is the one with yourself; and may she bless and strengthen the bond of that very union.

May Poseidon keep you safe in all voyages, including the journey that is life. May he prevent you from drowning in both your thoughts and the waters deep below.

May Demeter keep you warm and love you just like a mother. May she send forth gifts of a still soothed mind, and allow all your efforts in recovery to be fruitful.

May Athena, destroyer of Giants, slay the urges and intrusive thoughts too large to defeat on your own. May she protect you and bless you with the will to keep fighting.

May Apollon be by your side, whether it be during therapy or at your bedside in the ward. May he be a ray of light to give you a glimmer of hope.

May Artemis shield you, and provide you relief. May you never be thrown to the wolves, but rather have the courage to bear your teeth for your own defence.

May Ares cover your battle scars, and protect you from more. May he give you the courage of an entire army, and the support of one to. May you be reminded that you need not to win every battle to win the war.

May Aphrodite shower you with the love you deserve, including the love of yourself for yourself. May she remind and teach you that you are beautiful.

May Hephaistos provide you a creative outlet; a distraction to keep hands busy without a blade. May he teach you you can’t forge yourself without the flame, but you have been setting yourself on fire far too long.

May Hermes provide you a safe haven; be it a support group, or even just long drives in the rain to clear your head. May he hold your hand as you cross bridges, and let you find change on the ground after you do not jump.

May Dionysos put a smile on your face, and stand strong along side you, urging you to dance; he knows mental illness all to well. Dance away the demons, dance into relief.

May Haides, somber but not always impartial, lead you away from the incoming cars, and drop sweet nectar into your mouth. It is not yet your time.

May Persephone remind you that the greatest fall can lead you to the greatest heights. There is something honourable about walking out of rock bottom with your head held high, or walking on through like you own the place.

May Hestia keep you warm when your emotions are spent, leaving you numb and cold. May she bless you with a feeling of home whenever possible, and keep those hearth fires burning. And your own inner fire strong, as well.

The Gods demand Arête, your personal best. Arête is not being the most successful person in the world. Sometimes it is merely staying alive. And staying alive, well, that makes the Theoi very happy.

Benefits of being chronically ill, it's normal to carry so many different prescriptions that you'll need throughout the day if anything happens to your body. 🫠

Anyways, I'm so tired...

notes for my impostor syndrome:

• no, it's not painful to walk for abled-bodied people

• no, healthy people don't usually use every chance they get to lean against walls or sit down

• no, ableds don't dream about shower stool

• no, ableds don't celebrate days when they're not in pain. because usually they're not in pain

• no, ableds don't want to stop walking mid-way, lay down on the ground, curl up and cry and whine from pain

• no, ableds aren't exhausted by their own bodies 24/7

Like, I really need people who are against self diagnosis, the majority of whom had the privilege of being diagnosed in childhood or adolescence, to understand how racist, classist, and ableist this viewpoint is.

So many people of color go undiagnosed. Their adhd/autism is chalked up to behavioral problems and no one bothers to look into it further.

So many poor people don’t have the money to be able to afford getting a formal evaluation. That shit is expensive.

So many people get misdiagnosed. Afab adults in particular are more likely to get diagnosed with BPD when they actually have adhd or autism. People with a trauma history have their symptoms chalked up to trauma and all adhd/autism specific symptoms are ignored.

If you were diagnosed as a child or teen you have absolutely no right to dismiss people (especially adults, afab people, and people of color) and act like self diagnosis is harmful. Most people who self-dx do so after extensive research and they know themselves better than you. Self-dx doesn’t take anything away from people with a formal diagnosis; it helps the individual find an understanding community and coping skills that make their lives easier. If you’re bothered by that, that says a lot about your character.