Ohohohohoho

ASHHHHH THAT THAT THAT VENTI OST YOU JUST MADE PLEASE CAN YOU SHARE MORE

this post was just a blurb i wrote out randomly hehe but here’s a few hcs about it!

venti doesn’t actually know the future in the sense that he sees what will happen, no. what he has is knowledge of all songs regardless of its time and place of origin, whether it’s from the past present or future.

now, he normally wouldn’t pay much attention to songs written in tribute to a person, but your case is a little… different. where there’s thousands of people who’ve had songs written in their honor, you have thousands of songs written for you alone.

he’s never sung them out loud before, not until the time is right, but he finds himself drawn to the songs about you, retelling stories that have yet to happen about your journey in this world and the impact you will have on teyvat. you’re very much like a certain traveler who will one day land in this world, but you’re an even greater mystery than the traveler. you’re a person beyond worlds and dimensions—or at least, that’s what he’s gained from the songs that will be made about you.

it’s only when he’s a thousand years older after the fall of old mondstadt, his singing more refined and his tune more established, like an artist developing a signature art style, that he realizes that more than half of the songs written for you will be made by his hand.

he wonders and wonders and wonders for the next millennia if he will adore you as much as he seems to adore you in his songs, but… maybe he doesn’t have to wonder. even now, having only known you through songs and tunes, he finds it in himself to leave a space for you within his heart.

a thousand years pass, and he continues to be lulled to slumber with the hymns about you crooning in his ears. when he awakens, it’s to a different song this time, a new one. he laughs, the winds quickening in time with his beating heart. finally, the seeds of wind has changed.

he feels your presence before he hears your voice. “venti!” you shout before tackling him in your arms. and this, this is something he has dreamed about since he first heard your songs, wide-eyed and young and unfamiliar to the ballads of this world, and so he lets himself feel elation and excitement as he embraces you. thousands of years of waiting finally over.

and when you smile at him, claiming how much you adore him and how you’ve always wanted to meet him, he finally understands. ah, he thinks, it seems he’s not the only one who’s been longing to meet someone they’ve never met.

Listen up!

You see a post like this? Where OP might hurt/kill themselves? You hit that button that I circled

Hit that.

Click Suicide or Self-harm Concern

Yes.

Fill in the rest of it, and hit submit. The "content you reported" will fill itself in

Tumblr will follow up and help them.

Warning: this is only for mobile. If anyone knows how to do this for desktop, please add it!

This could SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE.

YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE NOT TO REBLOG THIS.

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF IT DOESN'T GO WITH YOUR BLOG'S THEME.

And yes, REBLOG. Liking does no shit at all. This isn't ig.

You reblog, people see it. You don't, people don't see it. This shit's that simple.

This could save someone's life. It's not a joke.

slam that reblog button like how those youtubers say smash that like button lmao

Reblog if you're not homophobic

Every url that reblog’s will be written in a book and shown to my homophobic dad. 

ayo ig im gonna simp for myself

Y/n doodles for the tired day

(close ups under the cut)

quand tu es avec moi

summary: cyno's experienced so much, but you're the one he'll never regret

contents: fluff, possible ooc, character-centric, gn!reader, cyno being soft

cw: none i can think of, tell me if you find any!

recommend listening to: je te lasserai des mots by patrick watson

a/n: surprise i'm back! french translates to: 'when you're with me'

Cyno yearns for a certain type of love. A love that runs so deep, flowing through the crevices of his heart; a love that softens his stares, and hardens his resolve. Cyno wants a love that takes his calloused hands in theirs, and proclaims they will stay with him as long as the stars shine above; as long as his morality never wavers; as long as he will never stop chasing this love he craves. Cyno’s never been one to indulge in such pleasures; never been one to stop and smell the roses, if given the chance. Yet- when he sees your smile- he’s reminded of dainty elegance, tenderly accompanied by a pleasant floral fragrance. He yearns for a certain type of love- a love that only you can give. 

It’s the way he would do anything for you. Cyno’s a man of his own word, so what would make you think he wouldn’t? It’s a rare sight to see the General Mahamatra strolling through the Grand Bazaar so casually, but when you’re lying in bed with a cold, his eyes mingled with concern. Only the best medicine will do. And when he arrives next to you, sitting by your side, you’ll protest that he’ll get sick, and he’ll tell you a joke. It’s not going to be an extremely funny one, but you’re going to smile, and he thinks that’s all that matters. 

Pearlescent sands, shimmering galaxies full of stars, fine threads on a purple headdress. You cannot count the quantity of such large amounts; you cannot begin to imagine how Cyno counts the times he gets lost in your eyes. Over and over again, patrolling the desert, idly browsing through a new set of TCG cards, he likes to think about you. Caresses of the gentlest touch, alike a feather’s soft brush against your cheek. Lingering stares, like a wolf’s piercing gaze. And with each single thought- Cyno can hear your voice in his ears- an infestation he has no desire to purge, and he knows his heart beats full. 

Because even though he’s only known you for a few years in his- albeit, relatively short- lifetime, it feels as if he’s known you for longer. He may not believe in past lives, but if they did exist, Cyno’s sure that he’d search for you in every single one. And if he happened to never find you, he’d keep on searching; uncovering every rock, crossing every ocean, just seeking for your company. Because what kind of soldier would he be without the light that guides his way?

Between close confidants, closer friends, and closest allies, it’s no secret that he often makes jokes when he truly trusts you. As bad as they may be, eliciting several sighs and grimaces, they lighten the stoic atmosphere he brings with his forthcoming personality. He likes them, too, and who is anyone to dare say that they do not bring people closer together? Because you’ve known him, and Tighnari knows him, and Collei knows him, and he’s cracked pun after pun, and you’ve never gotten tired of him. Moreso, unbeknownst to you, every time he makes one, a pair eyes seemingly glance in your direction- just for a few seconds- and when they’ve ascertained there’s a gleam of amusement shining under yours, he reclines back with a satisfied smile. 

Cyno likes to be near you. Your presence- it’s something that makes his heart run faster and cheeks burn up. He likes being able to sit next to you, and talk about his new TCG deck while you nod and hum attentively, not noticing how he’s staring at you so unabashedly, explaining the intricate details of his commissioned art. He likes being able to sit next to you as you both recount the memories you’ve shared, all from a simple dinner to an exhilarating chase. He likes losing track of time with you, as the sun dips down over the horizon, and the moon comes out of its slumber. 

Most of all, he likes you. No. ‘Like’ carries feelings that are too shallow. Love would be a better descriptor. Unfaltering, unashamedly, bravely, hopelessly in love. Cyno’s set of scales is as ever-present as you seem to be in his head; he dares to gaze up at the desert night sky and let his heart guide his way, uninterrupted by the incessant hustle and bustle of the city. He can feel you by his side, feels your hand held firmly in his, staring up at the same glimmering stars.

It’s time to go back home. 

a/n: after the windblume event quest, my mind's been so full of cyno recently and i love that we get to see a new side to him that we didn't in the archon and story quest <3 likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated! 🫶

Why boob

I’m tryna get all comfy, reading those delicious fics I then decide that I wanna lay on my front and when I do my boob go s m o o s h like ow why

SOB IM IN LOVE- ESPECIALLY WITH TIGHNARI'S PART I LOVE COTTAGECORE AND THE "Fish in a pool, and a curious fox" IS SI CUTE AND JSGSJWJSVAN

Mermay: Sumeru Edition!

Summary: Mermaid-themed content! Each character has their own different narratives/scenarios separate from each other - hope you’ll like these!

Characters: Alhaitham, Kaveh, Tighnari, Cyno, Wanderer/Scaramouche

Wordcount: ~700 each

My coworker is a mermaid?!

You’re one of the few merpeople who’s moved to the human city—so long as you avoided being submerged in water, you had enough control over yourself to prevent your legs from shifting back into a tail.

It’s an interesting life, working at a detective agency with Alhaitham as one of your co-workers. But one day when you’re feeling sick from the hot weather and skip a meeting, Alhaitham visits your apartment himself to deliver investigation files; it's the first time you guys have been assigned to a case together despite how long you’ve both been in the company, so he thought it’d be quicker to visit you himself and inform you as such, being the efficient man he is. (You also weren’t answering your texts so he was a little worried—you’ve always been a prompt replyer otherwise.)

…What Alhaitham doesn’t expect however is for you to ghost him at the door despite the lights indicating that you were definitely home. Did something happen? Were you safe? Within this line of work it was definitely possible to get mixed up with enemies of some sort, so with that in mind Alhaitham managed to find the extra key you kept outside (organized as ever, and also something Kaveh mentioned to him while the blonde was drunk) and entered your home.

He calls out your name a few times, at first hearing nothing in response—before the sound of something dropping against the ground echoes from another end of the apartment. Alhaitham follows the clue, bracing himself for a surprise attack if this was really the worst case scenario, and kicks open the bathroom door where he hears scrambling and water splashing—

The first thing he sees is your tail. Glistening against the light, more beautiful than he’d care to admit in the chaos of the moment. Then his gaze falls to your face, your eyes widened in surprise before shifting into panic, and it takes Alhaitham a moment to register that when you struggle to sit up and leave the tub, the tail that lashes water everywhere and flops against the cold tiles is yours. 

Suffice to say, he had a lot of explaining to wring out of you once you calmed down. Alhaitham hasn’t heard about merpeople being real since he was a child, and maybe a random conspiracy theory from an unreliable source—but the moment he realizes you’re running a fever, Alhaitham settles his doubts to tend to the matter at hand; picking you up and settling you back into the tub, he avoids your gaze and asks what temperature of water you needed to cool down.

It’s the first of many times that night Alhaitham calms you with his objectiveness. You don’t have to know that his heart was pounding the entire time, unsure if he’d finally gone insane from years of working in the field.

He leaves, promising to inform you about work the next day after you’ve gathered yourself together, and when you arrive at the meeting point Alhaitham almost forgets you weren’t human—dressed in your usual way, smiling like you always would, though with a nervous edge to your tone.

Everyone had their secrets. He wouldn’t benefit much from exposing yours right now—Alhaitham helps you with avoiding water, covering for you by volunteering himself at times. He insists it’s not from a sense of heroism but rather convenience for himself (having drama over your secret being exposed would only interrupt the case)—but how far can he stretch this excuse in terms of keeping an eye on your health, asking if you’re feeling well when the summer’s heat is blazing, and running to your rescue when the investigation’s been turned on its head?

Alhaitham was a resourceful man, but some things (or people) couldn’t simply be replaced by another so easily. He’d protect your identity and wishes and help you reach a happy end, so that you both might coexist like you've grown to desire.

…What a curious predicament he’s landed himself with indeed.

A familiar story...

Kaveh’s a merman that’s well-liked and recognized within his home in the sea. His feats in architecture are renowned, but it comes from a sort of fascination and appreciation for beauty—after all, why else would he seek to build better structures and strive for wonderful things?

And for a creative and genius mind like his, it’s not a stretch to say that Kaveh’s interest extended to the machines of the human world. During shipwrecks and other storms, items would wash into the sea and be scavenged by certain… opportunists, who would supply to merchants that would then mark up the prices for customers like Kaveh, who saw the good in too many things and had enough empathy to pay for more.

—Nevermind his sometimes empty pockets, but Kaveh also liked venturing out to find items by himself on occasion (times where he needed a break from the bustle of the underwater city, just to soak in the sunlight and sky for himself, and being brought to wonder what else was out there in the world above).

Kaveh would be lying if he said he never considered going to the surface, but the temptation only reaches its tipping point when he sees you for the first time at the beach—he’s seen many humans, but not so many that would ramble to their dog while pacing around the beach, throwing sticks for it and then settling down to sketch the scenery. It’s so… picturesque, of a situation, that Kaveh couldn’t help but stick around longer and enjoy the quietness with you. 

And after you'd left, the sound of jewelry tinkling still lingers in his mind—you were wearing accessories with the most charming gems and color. It’s a shame they don’t have that material on-hand in the ocean—though wearing jewelry in the water itself wasn’t that practical to begin with.

So of course one day, after a particularly tiring series of events, Kaveh travels onto land for the first time and explores; there are foods he hasn’t seen before in the marketplace and Kaveh buys a cloak to help blend in (yes, he borrowed surface-currency from Alhaitham, though he anguishes at the idea that he has to rely on that guy for this), and when Kaveh gets distracted while looking at a jewelry stall’s offerings, he startles at the sound of a voice he’s only heard from afar.

You offer Kaveh a smile as you ask if he’s looking for something—and within his confusion Kaveh blurts out that he quite likes the earrings you’re wearing, so you smile and invite him to the store where you got them. He’s surprised to learn it’s a pawn shop, but the mere idea that you frequent there makes him feel a little more comfortable; perhaps the both of you were scavengers in your own right, looking for something you haven’t quite found yet.

He doesn’t buy anything, but ends up being gifted with a hair accessory by you—because his hair seems like it could use with pinning up, from how he’s been fidgeting with the ends (hair floats in the water, it does not do the same on land)—and Kaveh flusters even more when you mention it’s on the house (you own this place?!) and that it matches the color of his eyes anyways, so he should keep it. 

Suffice to say, Kaveh becomes a regular visitor to the human world after that, forging a type of second-home in the visits to the markets and bringing trinkets he’s found at sea to you. You’re not the main owner of the pawn shop, but your senior is very knowledgeable about the items he’s brought in, even paying a high price for them. It’s all going well until a storm hits your seaside town during an event out at sea—and Kaveh, who had made an excuse to not attend the ship party—rushes to your rescue when you’re the one that falls off the deck—returning you to shore the next morning.

It’s a journey of worries, anxieties and doubts from there on; if you recalled your mysterious savior, Kaveh laments at the idea of you falling for a version of him he has to keep a secret. If you knew it was him, could he still visit the shore so casually again?

Despite everything, Kaveh still has the sense to prioritize the safety of himself and his people. Thus begs the question; did he have the courage to place his trust in you?

Fish in a pool, and a curious fox

It’s not common to find merpeople living in smaller bodies of water, far from the rest of the ocean, but there are exceptions in the town where you and Tighnari lived—where certain species different from humankind created a little haven of their own to coexist and thrive, adorned in nature and springs that one wouldn’t find elsewhere.

What would your friends from university say; you were living ‘cottagecore’ lives?

The first time you met Tighnari, it’d been as kids who wandered away from home. Not to say the town was that big, but there was a little intersecting river between the merfolk and land-habitants, where you swam toward out of curiosity one day, following a stray butterfly. It almost seemed to land on the surface of the water, fluttering before perching still - thus when you carefully tried to resurface from right below it, you hadn’t expected to touch noses with a stranger who sported fox ears and a tail.

Being children, the both of you lacked the initial embarrassment that most people might have in response—instead you simply backed away in surprise, asking for the stranger's name.

There was a short reprieve in which you both spotted the butterfly again—which was flying away in a direction further onto land—but before Tighnari could tell you where it was heading toward, you were both interrupted by the calls of your families to return home.

The next time you met, Tighnari is quick to mention the thought that’d been hanging on his mind—he tried to invite you to the meadow to find butterflies (for you seemed fond of them), before belatedly realizing you couldn’t tread on land. His ears drooping slightly, you quickly told him that maybe one day you could, once you’d mastered how to shift your tails into legs when you were older.

Growing up in your town was a picturesque childhood indeed. The day you first tried walking on legs, you’d been clumsy and needed a hand from your family, who were watching over you that day. Eventually you’re able to run and jump and explore on your own, to which you find yourself attracted to a field of flowers. You haven’t seen so many up close before, and was surprised when a pair of ears peeked out from within them; Tighnari, who was watching ladybugs climbing their stems. 

That’s when your friendship properly blossomed, you supposed. As you were both interested in exploring, you and Tighnari would often go on trips together in your free time. You even brought him to the reefs once, teaching him to hold his breath just long enough to witness the beauty that lay underwater.

When you grew older, you learned that reading as many books as you had—absorbing knowledge—would come in handier than you thought. Tighnari is the first to leave the town to study in the city, a similar path his other family members took—and after a year of your own preparation, it was your turn to venture out to the Akademiya, where you heard Tighnari was.

You were independent in your own right, but becoming close friends with him (and maybe harboring a tiny crush) meant you wanted to at least be in the same city if possible. As luck permitted, you succeeded, and met Cyno during your first day when you’d become lost searching for your classes.

You’re surprised to learn later on that Tighnari has spoken of you before—enough for Cyno to ask if you knew of Tighnari based on your description of your home.

“He’d always talk about how beautiful the scenery was there, and exploring it with a childhood friend.” 

Figures that when you find Tighnari in person, you wouldn’t be any the wiser about his fondness for you in how he acts—or perhaps you’d become so used to his gestures that it’s now hard to tell. But to those that have met him since he’s been at the Akademiya, there is a clear smile in Tighnari’s eyes when he’s talking to you, and a sense of comfort that they haven’t seen from him anywhere else.

Involved in an underwater crime mystery… Mermaids are real?!

CW: missing persons mystery, reader gets kidnapped by a sea creature/villain (they’re fine though!)

Despite Cyno’s suspicions the first time he met you, you truly were just a wandering journalist that got into a lot of trouble; there’s been cases of people going missing near the seaside lately, thus when you ventured to the scene of the crime in hopes of getting some interviews, you end up getting caught by a mysterious sea creature and brought to the bottom of the ocean—at least, that’s how your story might’ve ended, if Cyno hadn’t spotted your kidnapping and intercepted it before it was too late.

The mysterious creature that took you was shrouded in shadow—some type of cloaking magic to hide its real form, but it had left a marked symbol on you from where it was gripping your leg to pull you under; unsure of what side-effects you may experience, Cyno had brought you to Tighnari first to get rid of any traces of magic before returning you to shore, only to realize that you were somehow breathing underwater, without the use of a spell on his part.

When you wake up, you’re understandably confused and perplexed. Unless you were hallucinating this entire thing, you’re now in an underwater city after being found by Cyno, a high-ranking merman guard, who had rescued you from the same creature that was probably behind the other missing persons cases.

Cyno places a hand on your shoulder in a gesture of comfort when he noticed your hands trembling, but your mind was reeling from the information (and sensory) overload.

One thing was clear: You weren’t going back to the surface until this mark was taken off you (which according to Tighnari, could only fade over time or be removed by the caster of the spell).

You had two options: stay here as a patient and wait things out, or join Cyno on his investigations. You weren’t particularly weak to pretty faces so as to risk your life for them, but the resolve that burned in Cyno’s gaze when he spoke of tracking them down helped steel your mind; you weren’t sure if you could hold on to this hope for long while stranded here alone, but perhaps you could be of some use to him with your intel from the surface, and maybe this decision would end with you having less regrets, for at least being moved to action within this crisis and confusion.

Your job was to document the truth, after all. You want to bear witness to this—to help put an end to the crime and mystery that has engulfed both your community and his.

You’re introduced to Cyno’s world and witness his dedication to protecting the underwater city of Sumeru. You hear stories from Tighnari, during your breaks, about how Cyno used to act back in their Akademiya days. It’s hard to imagine that Cyno could be invested in card games and stories of ancient magic when he was off-duty, but you honestly found the idea of it cute.

Perhaps when this whole ordeal was over, you could ask him to teach you about TCG. You get a glimpse of this other side of Cyno during one night when you’re camping out during an investigation outside the city, and he shows you a bit of elemental magic when you ask if he’s capable of such things too.

Admittedly, Cyno is more combat-oriented these days, but he tells you that he’s always liked the sound of adventures and playing a role different from what he’s used to. You think to yourself that out here, with this demonstration of magic that’s like stealing the stars from the night sky to a mortal like yourself, that he could be anything he wanted to be and you’d still follow him to the ends of the ocean.

But when all was said and done, where would your friendship go? It’s a little selfish, but a part of you is starting to wish that this adventure would never end.

Befriending a bad-mannered mermaid… Have we met before?

CW: Reader has trouble sleeping/insomnia. Mentions of drowning but it’s just a quip from Wanderer, not described or actually happening to anyone here. Uh… just him being mean but it's not from a malicious place. Reader technically presumed dead (?) — it’s a little complicated but I swear it makes sense once you read, it’s not angsty don't worry!

To start things off anticlimactically, you met Wanderer one day when you were walking by the shore at dawn, having had another restless night. With your eyelids finally growing heavy as you leaned against a boulder on the sand, you found yourself drifting to sleep…

…Only to be rudely interrupted by a pebble thrown your way, just narrowly missing your leg.

While Wanderer would simply say it’s because you were interrupting his alone time (who does he think he is, talking as if he owned the beach anyways?!) It was really just a matter of safety. He continues to quip at you, making comments about how you clearly lacked self-preservation if you thought sleeping there was fine, and to not complain that he was a quiet bystander when you get dragged out by the current and drown.

You’re obviously confused and indignant at the same time—not to mention he’d just left immediately after that. But hours later you realize he was talking to you really casually. The next time you encounter him and ask as such, Wanderer simply says that all humans were the same, though some were obviously not a threat to him—like you. 

You had half a mind to throw something back at him, only to be interrupted when Wanderer suddenly asked for your name. He’s uncharacteristically silent after hearing it, before telling you his own and disappearing again.

When you couldn’t sleep, you’d go to the beach these days in order to let the sunlight lull you to sleepiness, or—if that didn’t work—you’d draw Wanderer’s name into the sand to be washed away by the waves again and again. You’re not sure who told you this, but there was a saying that whatever message was washed away by the sea would be delivered to recipients in the water. When Wanderer finds you that afternoon, he’s quick to call the belief idiotic—only for you to argue that he did show up anyways.

Perhaps it’s because of how unabashedly proud he acts, but you find yourself responding to Wanderer in a familiar manner as well. You’re not afraid to retort against his remarks, and over time you become friends, though he would hate to admit it so plainly.

…To start things off from a different point of view, your friendship had actually started long before you started having issues with sleep, and perhaps even before you started to live your life on land.

Long ago, Wanderer had a friend who painstakingly wore down his barriers and adopted him as a companion. That is, in the same way a cat and owner relationship might work—though he had no clue what exactly a cat was, for his friend was the only one between them to have ventured far enough into the human world to meet one.

Wanderer didn’t care much about humans, but his friend (who was a merperson), quite liked their creations and stories. They’d always found it amusing to see humans board their cruise ships and pollute the air with their noise, while Wanderer would constantly remind them to not get too caught up in human-watching. What was so great about those land-dwellers anyways?

After a series of events, said friend had gone missing and was presumed dead. So how many thoughts flurried through Wanderer’s mind on the day he saw you at the beach as if to taunt him? How betrayed and confused and annoyed had he felt after rationalizing things in his mind; that if you were a reincarnation of his friend, that you wouldn’t remember anything. That if you were his friend yourself, who’d turned out to have lived, you’d have your reasons for never attempting contact. And if it was neither of those, you were just a look-alike and fate had a really crappy sense of humor for making him stumble upon you like so.

He’d started venturing closer to the surface ever since his friend’s disappearance—partially as a way to get away from the city and the well-meaning but overbearing attempts to comfort him, and also as a little way to feel connected to them again.

Wanderer doubts he’d ever love humans the same way they did, but he’s at least able to appreciate the softness of the morning when the sun filters through the surface just right.

To summarize, yes - you are that friend, though whether you’d been reincarnated after an incident or simply had your memories erased eludes the both of you. The story starts here, and has much to explore henceforth; as much as Wanderer liked to complain, he was quite relieved to be able to adventure with you again. The more time he spends with you, the more he’s convinced that maybe second chances do come true.

"No." (Yandere!Albedo/Reader)

A/n: I got sick but it just so happens I live off of spite so I finally finished this fic. Most characters are a bit/really obnoxious here. Also, the reader's state of mind and relationships with friends are unhealthy so if you're sensitive to the following CW please skip this fic. (If you're wondering why the fic is... Like this then here's me rambling here)

Unreliable synopsis: You kissed the most popular professor on campus. (Subtle yan!fic)

gn!reader

Cw: yandere, unhealthy friendship dynamics with clingy!sucrose & other characters, student/teacher relationship implications, the reader is an eccentric "class clown" with implied mild impostor syndrome, and small mentions of sexual harassment. (I'm not a medical professional so please take the impostor syndrome warning with a grain of salt– just added it in case this type of content is triggering. This isn't smut and it doesn't fully explore the last topic, but still please reach out for support if you are a victim of sexual harassment. Title IX is a very real thing.)

-------

"Does accidentally kissing someone cross a line in Title IX?"

That sentence alone makes you sound incredibly criminal out of context, and it doesn't get better with it either.

Your long-time friend, Sucrose, became fixated on setting you up with a romantic partner after the breakup you had three months prior. 

It was not a heart-wrenching tale, if anything, the entire relationship you had with Arataki Itto plays off as a major joke. You dated the man simply because you thought his impulsive behavior was entertaining, and oddly enough, he found your unpredictable temperament alluring. You just never anticipated that the idiot will buy an overpriced toy drum when you asked him to get a coke and "get something for yourself as well."

It's no surprise you permitted him to spend your money. But that wasn't even supposed to be a gamble. That was just an instruction, and he failed HARD. Arataki "I-swear-you-didn't-say-Pepsi(???)" Itto... got you orange juice. 

Breaking up was a huge relief. Instead of adopting a façade of the partner he wants, you have at last discovered the temporary freedom to choose over what you enjoy. For a while, they didn't treat you like a court jester; instead, they gave you the tender care you'd reserve for a helpless person.

Sucrose was distraught when you two decided to stop everything after Itto wasted most of your money by falling for Dori's scam. She appeared to be more affected than you two. Sucrose must have thought of you two as "the Golden pair" since she is naturally fascinated by research about personalities and relationships— more notably the 16 personality types. Seeing you two break up was an antithesis to her defense on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test. You broke up due to (financial) differences, and there's no unreliable science needed to learn that.

Here lies the problem: Sucrose refused to give up.

You've heard concerns about her callous demeanor in person and online. Some people thought it endearing that you have a friend who genuinely cares about you, while others consider her nagging to be a burden, and rightfully so.

You felt icky after accidentally seeing her list of candidates, yet you can't bring yourself to make a strong effort to stop her. Sucrose lost two of her best friends last year in an accident, and you are essentially the only support that's keeping her sanity in check, but sometimes you feel as though you are risking your health on the line. She had written down some questionably extensive background on every man and woman she thought was worthy... You don't even want to know why Ajax is on that list.

No matter the reason, that didn't stop Timaeus from barfing out his triple-layered peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"W-WHAT on EARTH did you DO this time?!"

Sure is tough being a menace to society.

Hah... You're already on the brink of a mental breakdown and yet you still kept making self-deprecating jokes.

"WHAT'S with THE reaction?" You asked, casually copying his tone before you sank to your seat. "It's JUST a QUESTION."

"We know how you work, (Y/n)!" He knew you were purposefully trying to rile him up, yet Timaeus slammed a fist on the table in exaggerated disgust. "You did the EXACT same thing last time. You asked us 'hOw bAd woUld iT bE iF I datEd a gaNgstEr' and then you fucking did it anyways! What the hell– heck."

Timaeus's outburst was audible throughout the entire cafeteria, yet nobody seemed to care. The other people you shared the table with, Ying'er, Collei, and Tighnari all cast curious glances at you. It's not as though they have never heard of your misadventures before, frankly, whenever something happens they avidly observe it. You're all inseparable because of your shticks. However, apart from Sucrose, Dorian had been awol from your friend group, and it is no less due to the headline you're about to announce.

None of them took you too seriously, which they should have, given the nature of Title IX. As "good" friends, they should've worried over your safety and overall wellbeing. 

You could feel tears of fear and frustration swell up in your eyes.

Yet you couldn't be mad at them for reacting this way.

You're the chaotic link– the friend that didn't quite fit in– assigned to the role of being the "funny one." It started with a single joke until you unintentionally formed a false sense of confidence that you're something bigger than what you are. Everyone thinks you're hilarious, and you're afraid of disappointing them. You weren't trying to be funny most of the time, they just want someone to laugh and point at. Even though you are academically above average yourself, without your carelessness and gambles, you practically have nothing to offer this otherwise brilliant population.

Timaeus may not always deliver the right answer in his alchemy test papers, but he's never wrong about you even if he's drunk off of two bottles of Death After Noon. You recall Timaeus specifically in that instance because he was right; you have no future and you won't amount to anything.

In short, your image dilemma can be summed up by something you said high out of your mind in front of the mirror: "I think I accidentally gained an ego after joking about being hot and sexy one too many times, and now I'm being punished for my hubris." (You're never asking Lisa for philosophy book recommendations on Sundays ever again.)

And if it's true that you have no future and that you're nothing more than an insecure fraud, then you might as well come clean right now and let your "friends" break their ties. It doesn't matter, not anymore.

Ying'er laughed heartily. Contrary to her lover, she loves it whenever you act like this since it makes her normally composed and optimistic boyfriend snap and curse... You would know because she constantly divulges pointless details about how "hot" it was in private messages. And you two weren't even that close when she first did that. But now she's practically your unofficial attorney with how many times she played devil's advocate. You'll miss her.

"Why are you already accusing them? Who knows, maybe they're the victim here, babe. You're being too insensitive."

"Yeah, Tim, you should listen to your girlfriend over here." You nudged him and he glared vehemently.

"(Y/n), you're not supposed to openly agree with me, but yeah, why don't you give them the benefit of the doubt?"

You gave Ying'er a weak friendly wink and a thumbs up, feeling repulsed at yourself deep down. It's incredibly flattering for her to insinuate a professor would find you attractive rather than filing a restraining order.

She'll probably hate you once she finds out the truth, right? She did have a crush on your victim.

"This is them we're talking about." Timaeus glared. "They're bound to do something stupid. C'mon, Tighnari, say something!"

Tighnari merely shrugged and stabbed his fork into a mushroom (presumably poisonous, given its unnatural blue color). He had grown tired of dealing with your antics over the years. No lecture had ever worked in the past, and you both telepathically agreed that streak was not going to end today. You're lying about being self-possessed. He knew that whenever this happens, you were trying to be an idiot, and did not allow yourself to be an idiot. There's a fine difference between those two, and he knows which is which.

In a way, Tighnari views you in a more positive light than most of your friends. And he could sense that you have more grave matters to say.

So, he played along to help you set the mood. "I said this yesterday and I'll say it again: we're studying to become botanists. We're growing plants. Our future job isn't to help them grow a brain."

"Facts." You snapped your fingers and smugly nodded.

"Don't just agree with him!"

"You can grow plants all you want but just know my Timaeus right here doesn't need any more growing if you catch my drift~."

"Ying'er." Collei groaned.

"What? I was just saying his height is perfect enough as it is."

"I feel like we're having thirty different conversations at once." 

"Your mother is thirty different conversations at once–"

"Mx. (L/n)."

The table went silent. Except for yourself, who's still droning on, unfinished. Everyone noticed the uninvited man in the cafeteria and their lips were silenced. 

Here he is. 

"–eeegood evening, Professor Albedo." You stood up from your seat and slightly bowed your head down.

It's the untouchable Professor Albedo. The Alchemy Professor on this forsaken campus exudes a breath of freshness even if the scent of chemicals follows him like an affectionate dog. The only person that students would ogle at amid all the balding learning facilitators. Sucrose's mentor. Dorian's 32-year-old brother. The "Kreideprinz".

And the guy that might just sue you for your careless mistake.

Your circle caught the tension between you two and started watching the scene unfold like a car accident.

Professor Albedo cocked his head forward. You never claimed to be one of his adoring fans who can spot his emotions after one look, but your gut tells you that he's more than amused despite his stoic expression. He's similar to Dorian in that aspect.

"I trust that you've read the excerpt I've sent you?" He asked in almost a whisper.

You thoughtlessly lamely pulled up your library-borrowed copy of Title IX. In your perspective, nothing matters anymore, so you might as well let it out there.

Your friends jolted simultaneously, someone even dropped their utensils while Collei hit her knee up the table and hissed at the pain.

"Oh my God..." Timaeus shuddered.

Your friends had the face that collectively screamed "YOU MADE OUT WITH PROFESSOR ALBEDO?!" in all capitals, bold, italics, underlined, shadowed with thick black strokes– whatever makes it more out there. They're not in the wrong to react that way. 

In one single move, you broke 2 rules on the so-called Bro Code, one being the infamous "don't fuck my brother" and the second being the lesser known "don't fuck my professor". Not only that, but most importantly you violated a line or two in Title IX. 

Leave it to (Y/n) (L/n) to break more than three rules on the daily.

... You really should stop making jokes as a coping mechanism.

The cafeteria started to murmur, urging their seatmates for information they don't have. You released a small, clipped laugh. You should've thought that one through.

Tighnari meets your eyes with a sympathetic stare. You could tell he had more to say, but your heavy heart no longer wished to know.

"... Great work." The professor said just as nonchalantly. No doubt, he tried to salvage your reputation but you sabotaged it yourself. How wasteful. He beckoned you forward with one finger. 

"Come with me. We'll talk somewhere more private."

You walked away from your table and gave them one look.

They were incredibly disturbed to see a small sad smile on your face, rather than the wide mischievous grin that they were used to. After seeing that, they all had one emotionally detached thought in mind:

So, it wasn't a joke after all.

--------------

You neither like nor dislike Professor Albedo.

There are multiple fluffs about how friendly and dorkish he is as a reclusive person, but none of them sparked your interest. You often feigned reactions whenever Dorian expresses his apparent disdain for his more successful brother, and your sly smile barely reaches your eyes. If anything, hearing about the same man over and over again makes him feel oversaturated rather than entertaining. He's too perfect in those gossips that you're bored to tears. 

At least the rumors were positively right about one thing: his tastefully braided blonde hair and blue eyes make him no lesser than a portrait of a prince. But no more special than Dorian, in all honesty. You wouldn't be able to know which is which if they wore similar clothes and let their hair down. They're like clones of each other.

Albedo kept fidgeting a hand inside his pocket, and you can't hazard a guess as to what it is. A recording device, perhaps? You pride yourself on your ability to read and toy people like clockwork. That ability, however, does not translate well with Professor Albedo. 

You snapped out of your trance as the professor began reading what was on his clipboard.

"(Y/n) (L/n). 27. Graduate School. Taking a Ph.D. Botany program– though if I hadn't known that, I would've guessed you were a music major." Albedo vaguely pointed at your face without looking. "Your tongue would've fooled me."

You flinched. Is he teasing you or scolding you– you can't make sense of his tone. He's too monotonous.

"Professor, are you uncomfortable right now? If so, I could leave if you wish and we can talk via email instead about your complaint."

Professor Albedo eyed you carefully this time, even though he's squirmish. The tone you used to address him and your overall body language differ greatly from how you behave in the company of your friend group. Your professionalism does not match how the rumors perceive you. This is probably the reason why young professor Kusanali didn't believe any rumors about you. He was impressed.

"Am I supposed to be happy that you’re not giving me a moment of your time?” He said. "It's a bit difficult to achieve that state when you have yet to slip out of my mind. You did assault me yesterday–"

"Yes, yes, I'm well aware of that, Professor." You cringed. "But–"

"Albedo."

"Sorry?"

"You kissed me, (Y/n). I think you can call me Albedo."

"Right." You chuckled nervously. "Like I was saying, P-Professor, it's all a major misunderstanding. I wasn't aiming to assault you."

Albedo raised an eyebrow. He did not miss the way you suavely dodged calling him by name. Other than that, assault is a strong word, and he did not expect you to use it as well. 

You thought it was a fitting word to use. Albedo barely makes eye contact, and he probably doesn't like being reminded that you stole a kiss from him.

"It's Albedo. So, you were planning to sexually assault another student?"

He is relentlessly quick on the uptake. Albedo sounded like a cop. What he said was correct, absurdly phrased, but correct nonetheless.

"I mean..." You rubbed your hands against your pants. They were a bit sweaty, and you had to accept the fact you were not faking it. You are genuinely anxious. "When you put it like that, it does sound inexcusable doesn't it?"

"It is a positively hair-raising notion, yes." Albedo deadpanned. "And if I had to take an educated guess, you were planning to assault my younger brother Dorian and you mistook me for him instead."

"..."

Figuring that out was a no-brainer. Although Professor Albedo is older than his brother, their appearance and physique make them appear twin-like. Dorian once droned about how it happened due to Albedo's poor upbringing under their aunt Alice's guidance, making his growth stunted. And his tendency to talk your ear out is one of many reasons why your intrusive thoughts often suggest that Dorian had no personality outside being the renowned professor Albedo's younger brother. Hence, you don't absorb a word of what he says. You didn't listen to gossip often cause you figured that you were not one for trivial gossip like the rest of the student botanists. 

... And based on the dilemma you find yourself in now, it appears as though you don't have common sense like the rest of your peers either–

"Please stop woolgathering. Is there a more interesting specimen to take note of on the floor? You seem to be more intrigued by what's on your shoes."

You cringed for what you felt like the 1000th milestone at that point.

"Professor, I know that I sound terrible–"

Albedo sighed. "I would never insinuate that, Mx. (L/n)." 

"But you keep cutting me off." You said in a questioning tone. It sounded a lot more polite in your head, yet the famous Kreideprinz was flustered by your reply.

He cleared his throat. "Sorry. I didn't mean to. Carry on. You are aware that you sound like a sex offender, and?"

That came out incredibly cold. It felt like being under the cold blade of a frigid prince, and his icy stare and light complexion just adds the cherry on top. The professor said that he wasn't insulting you but his paraphrasing is exactly that. You didn't comment on it, figuring your education is more important than a harsh remark, and continued.

"... The truth is," you took a deep breath. "I only kissed you cause, well, I mistook you for Dorian, and also because I was trying to get Sucrose–."

"Sucrose?" Professor Albedo's eyebrows furrowed. "Sucrose, one of my–"

"Your student assistants? Y-Yes, sir." You nodded hesitantly. "We're best friends– not that it's unsurprising since I am a bad influence and she's a good person. I recently went through a breakup and she's worried about me. Dorian agreed to fake date and make Sucrose believe that she accidentally found us making out in a room to make it more believable but–"

"You mistook me for my brother."

"... Yeeaaahhh...."

"..."

This reminded you of your conversation with Dorian a while back. You asked if he and his brother would switch lives for a day, and he cackled and told you it happens more than the number you were thinking of. The moment you realized who you were kissing, you clung to the sliver of hope that it was Dorian wearing his brother's lab coat. It was not.

You looked down at your shoes again. It's too embarrassing and shameful that your entire lineage will probably be cursed. 

"..."

Knowing that you won't talk until he does, Professor Albedo read through his notes for a topic.

"Understandable. I presume you know my brother because you're both on the same course and are on similar schedules?"

"Yes, sir." Should you tell him the whole fake-date thing was Dorian's idea as well?

"It's Albedo to you. And to add to that, Sucrose is under the impression that we're dating."

"I think so, sir."

"That's not a question, (Y/n), that's a fact." He said. "She recently confronted me to ask if we're dating."

You gulped. Moment of truth.

"What did you tell her, sir?"

"What do you want me to tell her?"

You could hear your pulse pounding in your ears. 

On one hand, you want her to know what happened, but at the same time that would just blow you and Dorian's cover story.

But was that a smug tone you heard? Is he toying with you?

You bit your bottom lip. 

"... Yes, I think? What did you say, professor?"

"Albedo."

You tilted your head. "What?"

"Respectfully, please call me by my name and I'll tell you the answer." He smirked curtly, but it was gone before you could process it.

"S-Sir!"

Albedo shrugged. "Guess you'll have to ask her directly–"

"Sir Albedo–"

"Hmm, I don't recall having 'Sir' in my birth certificate–"

"Albedo! Albedo!" Geez.

He gave a small smile, longer this time. But he was still avoiding eye contact. You puffed your cheeks, embarrassed.

Prof. Albedo has a slightly twisted sense of humor.

None of this was professional, at all.

You felt your face growing warmer. You can't believe this is the same Albedo everyone is crushing on. 

You bit back a sharp retort. He sounded a lot more serious in campus gossip, and not the type to pull on your heartstrings like this. Your faith in that image is wearing thin.

The professor laughed. "I'm sorry. I wasn't expecting such an enthusiastic reply. You don't have to be nervous around me, (Y/n). I figured that if we were going to do this, you could use my first name.

"I refrained from answering. But, if you wish, I can confirm her suspicions. However, I must inform you in advance that I find relationships rather... Tiresome." Albedo robotically sighed. "I struggle to maintain them, so you will have to guide me."

Never in your life have you ever considered the possibility that a professor in your grad school would ask you to fake a romantic relationship with him. 

You digressed, not wanting to make a decision just yet. "But isn't your job in danger?"

Albedo then spoke in a genuine trill of amusement. 

"Not at all. Besides, I don't care enough to file a complaint about this incident. Also, you're not my student. Suffice it to say, I've thoroughly checked the handbook and consulted the headmaster herself. Rhinedottir sees no problem with this arrangement–"

Probably because she's your mother.

"–Granted, it will not be in full effect unless you give this a go signal. Will you?"

You looked away.

"This situation... Kinda reads like some cheap Harlequin novel, doesn't it?" You muttered.

It's a great offer. But it sounds too good to be true...

... Did he say that he wasn't going to file a complaint in the first place?

The professor watched as your impassive stare morphed into something uneven and sly but unavoidably empty. You clicked your tongue as your hands slip back to your pockets. Albedo could tell you're holding back an ugly laugh.

A switch had been flipped.

Professor Albedo immediately noticed the change in your demeanor and crossed his arms. He's anticipated this much. There's no way he didn't know about your "self-destructive patterns."

How interesting. For both you AND him.

"So, Albedo." You lazily pointed at him. "Something's fishy about this, don't you think?"

"You're too eager to help. I'd get it if you have something to gain from this, like scaring off your fangirls or something, but you fend them off just fine anyways." You grinned.

"I'm flattered that you think I send them away effortlessly." He answered point-blank.

Albedo turned to you, his face dim and heavily affected by his calm resignation.

"It's incredibly taxing work. I've told you before, haven't I? I may seem calm on the surface but people can be... A considerable handful."

His smile belied the severity of his inner turmoil.

But you can't help but doubt him. You don't buy his pitifulness.

You reassessed the situation in an instant. The Albedo you're talking to acts far from the untouchable Chalk Prince from the get-go. His words did not boast his usual research-riddled speech. This act is more than just premeditated.

Sure. You're the sort who is bound by what you "owe," but you can't say you can't empathize with his problems because he didn't seem-- he ISN'T troubled in the first place. And you're almost sure of it.

You believe you're not smart enough to remain in this university. But at least you have faith that you're perceptive and street-wise. 

Still, you kept your hollow cheeky grin plastered to your face.

"Then why aren't you taking a less problematic approach? You could say you're dating Professor Alberich– you'd get some people off your back."

Translation: Can't you just bother someone else?

"By attracting other unpleasant folks pestering me about Kaeya instead, yes, seems like a sound suggestion. I'll keep it in mind for future reference."

Translator's note: He's being sarcastic. Stop trying to worm your way out of this one.

Albedo continued. "But right now that's not viable. If you feel guilty for stealing a kiss from me this may be a good opportunity to ease your conscience."

...

"That's it? But you won't report me if I didn't agree to these terms, right?"

"Of course. I have your best interests in mind and simply warned you." He gave you a faint smile, hoping to ease your nerves. "You're part of Rukkha's batch of dean's listers. I don't have the heart to file a complaint."

Rukkha was a great woman, but you don't deserve your scholarships and sponsors. You don't have any talent or skill to truly impress people, and it seems you fooled both Professor Rukkhadevata and Albedo into thinking you're something special as well.

"Professor...."

But with what he basically said just now is that there are no consequences for your actions.

"It's Albedo, and yes?"

"You seem to have reserved some very unrealistic expectations for me. You should be more distrusting."

"... What do you mean?"

"I don't see any reason to accept your offer." You honestly had no idea where this confidence is coming from. Perhaps your class clown persona had slowly rubbed off on the "real" you, and for once you didn't hate yourself for it.

Because you don't want to be in this relationship. It's legal, yes, and you're old enough, but you're incredibly wary. Albedo may be leagues better than Itto but that's beside the point: you're emotionally spent and you're not ready to get to know another person.

"Oh, understood. For starters, agreeing to these terms will make Sucrose less abrasive with her attempts to set you up, and I could help you with connections."

"That sounds as though I'll be abusing your influence..."

You paused. 

Did you tell the professor about Sucrose's disturbing attempts to hook you up with people earlier...?

You don't recall ever sharing that bit of information. You made sure to pick your words carefully so Sucrose wouldn't be seen in a bad light. Since when did he...

"What? No, it's not. It's simply a small trade for your cooperation."

"No."

"And– sorry?"

You can see the appeal. You truly do. When you are chosen by someone of greater influence and intellect, it seems almost magical. He could undoubtedly help your botany profession thrive. Most people would conclude that if Professor Albedo chose them from the crowd, they must be extremely unique in comparison to their peers. 

However, this is somewhat unethical. This is the kind of scenario you'd find in a shoddy coming-of-age novel that desperately tries to convince you that there are no other elements to consider but love. However, you must also consider your mental health, reputation, education, and other factors that influence every fiber of your being.

Albedo isn't the type of person who would jeopardize your future over a minor disagreement, but you never know with people. People change as much as seasons do. You are a living example of this. Itto would not have used that argument against you if it were untrue.

You have nothing against those who engage in lawful student-teacher relationships, but you're self-aware enough to recognize that you're not mentally fit to enter one. And sometimes the conclusion is as straightforward as that. Besides, you're sick of having others (including yourself) continually doubting your intelligence. Fake-dating a professor will only exacerbate the situation. Rumors will spread that you only earned your grades because of him and not out of your efforts. Dorian already had it rough, and you've learned what it's like through him. Simple self-preservation.

"Thanks for the offer, really, but no. If I'll date someone, even if it's fake, I want to set it under my terms as well." 

You scratched your neck, eyes lifeless.

"I'm sorry, Professor. But I genuinely can't see why this agreement will help both of us, I especially can't see why this will benefit you compared to your other options. I could just come out and say I mistook you for Dorian and it's an easy fix to my problems and in turn, you wouldn't have to deal with the stigma of dating a student. I'm sorry, Prof. I'll take a rain check on it." 

You shrugged uncomfortably. "Besides, this is still a student-teacher relationship. I'm uncomfortable being in an uneven power dynamic like that. I'd rather date Dorian instead."

...

Shit. 

Okay, maybe accidentally implying that you're open to dating his kid brother had to be the second most uncomfortable thing you subjected Albedo to.

You didn't mean to come off as THAT honest.

A test tube must've cracked somewhere around the area cause you could've sworn you heard something shatter. You flinched, but he didn't.

"... Is that so." The professor muttered. You almost didn't hear him from how silent his defeat was.

You sighed in relief so intense that you physically felt your shoulder muscles relax and your eyes roll back. Seems like he gave up.

"I promise that I'll pay you back in other ways, professor. I owe you and I'm sorry. But I must refuse for both our sakes." You said. "I have taken something important from you, and I will respectfully understand if you file a complaint for what I've done. No one should have a kiss stolen like that."

He didn't reply. Albedo stood there, eyes unblinking as he mulled over your words. At the beginning of this conversation, he barely looked you directly in the eye, but now he refused to look away. 

You waited for him to say something else and stood there for a solid minute. Nothing came. 

"Please, excuse me."

You wanted to say that you left to give him more time to consider but the truth is that you couldn't bare standing there for a second more so you left in a frantic hurry. 

It was only when you left did you realize what made you wary of him the entire conversation.

Professor Albedo wasn't breathing the entire time.

-------

Upon unlocking his door, Albedo was greeted by a boy with a face akin to his. He was waiting for him, and in turn, Albedo anticipated that he would be here, too. The boy sat idly and almost casually inside a room littered with wall to wall of red-stringed photographs and texts, and there was not a single hint of disgust or any other natural reaction on his face. Albedo's nose scrunched.

Dorian did not budge from his brother– master's office chair. He stared back with a blank expression. Most papers were by his feet, crumpled, but not discarded. How could they be, when all pictures centered around one very precious subject:

You.

You, in all forms, poses, and angles make you ineffably you. These are the candid shots that bring out the little moments that Albedo longed to study under a microscope. They didn't need to be dynamic, rather, Albedo adored the simplest pictures the most. Needless to say, images of you resting is the most popular. It's a lot more convenient and easy to take, but that doesn't cheapen the value and elation the professor feels upon holding the finished polaroid up close.

Every time he swapped schedules with Dorian, he couldn't help but be curious about you.

It doesn't stop there. Albedo clicked his tongue as he noticed the journal Dorian held. It was his dog-eared notes he cleanly put together when jotting down your schedule, private life, and other more delicate intricacies. The clipboard he had earlier is nothing more than a silly prop compared to his actual notes. There's something so breathtaking about making the "unknown" into the "known", and the same applies to every bit of your life that he was curious about. Albedo's aware that it's not something he should brag about. Retrieving paraphernalia such as worn-out gardening gloves and locks of hair from your shower drain was not something he acquired robotically. However, he didn't fancy the idea that Dorian read it and found it just as entertaining as he did. He didn't like the idea of sharing.

Maybe you were right.

Maybe he did reserve some very unrealistic and idolized expectations for you. But that was only because he can see your potential. He firmly believes that. It's an awful and objectifying train of thought, but the professor is convinced he'll be the one who can "fix" your people-pleasing issue.

He figured, if he wants to make sure you'd always be with him, he had to conduct some trial-and-error.

Albedo breathed harshly. He forgot how to do so. He never needed to breath.

"Did it work?" Dorian asked. "Did your plan work?"

His eyes went dim.

Albedo didn't answer.

He locked the door again. This time, he allowed Dorian to keep the lights on. If anything, it's a small reward for indirectly helping him. But not even his fellow creation can have what the genius professor of the century desires to attain. He has to face the truth.

Albedo pulled out a recording device from his pocket. You said no. There's nothing he could do about that. 

"No."

"No. No. No. No. No--"

He played your refusal over and over again.

He thought he did everything right. He genuinely believed he followed the right procedure in getting you to say yes. What went wrong, then? Albedo doesn't get it. He was sure that he didn't say anything wrong or suspicious as well. You shouldn't have known that he had been following you from that conversation alone. 

"No."

He practiced everything for hours.

"No."

Word for word.

"No."

He researched tips and tricks on how to let other people's guard down.

"No."

He thought not pressuring you to do it will make you more willing.

"No."

He even asked Alberich how to subtly flirt with someone.

"No."

So. What went wrong?

"No--"

Albedo slowly blinked before realizing he had thrown the device against the wall in full force. The batteries and their other internal components spilled on the floor. He didn't have the willpower to clean it up. 

It's an undeniable error. He still can't believe his approach failed.

Master was right.

"Dearest Albedo, if you can't have them in their most authentic self, then what's stopping you from making an indistinguishable copy?"

Mermay: Sumeru Edition!

Summary: Mermaid-themed content! Each character has their own different narratives/scenarios separate from each other - hope you’ll like these!

Characters: Alhaitham, Kaveh, Tighnari, Cyno, Wanderer/Scaramouche

Wordcount: ~700 each

My coworker is a mermaid?!

You’re one of the few merpeople who’s moved to the human city—so long as you avoided being submerged in water, you had enough control over yourself to prevent your legs from shifting back into a tail.

It’s an interesting life, working at a detective agency with Alhaitham as one of your co-workers. But one day when you’re feeling sick from the hot weather and skip a meeting, Alhaitham visits your apartment himself to deliver investigation files; it's the first time you guys have been assigned to a case together despite how long you’ve both been in the company, so he thought it’d be quicker to visit you himself and inform you as such, being the efficient man he is. (You also weren’t answering your texts so he was a little worried—you’ve always been a prompt replyer otherwise.)

…What Alhaitham doesn’t expect however is for you to ghost him at the door despite the lights indicating that you were definitely home. Did something happen? Were you safe? Within this line of work it was definitely possible to get mixed up with enemies of some sort, so with that in mind Alhaitham managed to find the extra key you kept outside (organized as ever, and also something Kaveh mentioned to him while the blonde was drunk) and entered your home.

He calls out your name a few times, at first hearing nothing in response—before the sound of something dropping against the ground echoes from another end of the apartment. Alhaitham follows the clue, bracing himself for a surprise attack if this was really the worst case scenario, and kicks open the bathroom door where he hears scrambling and water splashing—

The first thing he sees is your tail. Glistening against the light, more beautiful than he’d care to admit in the chaos of the moment. Then his gaze falls to your face, your eyes widened in surprise before shifting into panic, and it takes Alhaitham a moment to register that when you struggle to sit up and leave the tub, the tail that lashes water everywhere and flops against the cold tiles is yours. 

Suffice to say, he had a lot of explaining to wring out of you once you calmed down. Alhaitham hasn’t heard about merpeople being real since he was a child, and maybe a random conspiracy theory from an unreliable source—but the moment he realizes you’re running a fever, Alhaitham settles his doubts to tend to the matter at hand; picking you up and settling you back into the tub, he avoids your gaze and asks what temperature of water you needed to cool down.

It’s the first of many times that night Alhaitham calms you with his objectiveness. You don’t have to know that his heart was pounding the entire time, unsure if he’d finally gone insane from years of working in the field.

He leaves, promising to inform you about work the next day after you’ve gathered yourself together, and when you arrive at the meeting point Alhaitham almost forgets you weren’t human—dressed in your usual way, smiling like you always would, though with a nervous edge to your tone.

Everyone had their secrets. He wouldn’t benefit much from exposing yours right now—Alhaitham helps you with avoiding water, covering for you by volunteering himself at times. He insists it’s not from a sense of heroism but rather convenience for himself (having drama over your secret being exposed would only interrupt the case)—but how far can he stretch this excuse in terms of keeping an eye on your health, asking if you’re feeling well when the summer’s heat is blazing, and running to your rescue when the investigation’s been turned on its head?

Alhaitham was a resourceful man, but some things (or people) couldn’t simply be replaced by another so easily. He’d protect your identity and wishes and help you reach a happy end, so that you both might coexist like you've grown to desire.

…What a curious predicament he’s landed himself with indeed.

A familiar story...

Kaveh’s a merman that’s well-liked and recognized within his home in the sea. His feats in architecture are renowned, but it comes from a sort of fascination and appreciation for beauty—after all, why else would he seek to build better structures and strive for wonderful things?

And for a creative and genius mind like his, it’s not a stretch to say that Kaveh’s interest extended to the machines of the human world. During shipwrecks and other storms, items would wash into the sea and be scavenged by certain… opportunists, who would supply to merchants that would then mark up the prices for customers like Kaveh, who saw the good in too many things and had enough empathy to pay for more.

—Nevermind his sometimes empty pockets, but Kaveh also liked venturing out to find items by himself on occasion (times where he needed a break from the bustle of the underwater city, just to soak in the sunlight and sky for himself, and being brought to wonder what else was out there in the world above).

Kaveh would be lying if he said he never considered going to the surface, but the temptation only reaches its tipping point when he sees you for the first time at the beach—he’s seen many humans, but not so many that would ramble to their dog while pacing around the beach, throwing sticks for it and then settling down to sketch the scenery. It’s so… picturesque, of a situation, that Kaveh couldn’t help but stick around longer and enjoy the quietness with you. 

And after you'd left, the sound of jewelry tinkling still lingers in his mind—you were wearing accessories with the most charming gems and color. It’s a shame they don’t have that material on-hand in the ocean—though wearing jewelry in the water itself wasn’t that practical to begin with.

So of course one day, after a particularly tiring series of events, Kaveh travels onto land for the first time and explores; there are foods he hasn’t seen before in the marketplace and Kaveh buys a cloak to help blend in (yes, he borrowed surface-currency from Alhaitham, though he anguishes at the idea that he has to rely on that guy for this), and when Kaveh gets distracted while looking at a jewelry stall’s offerings, he startles at the sound of a voice he’s only heard from afar.

You offer Kaveh a smile as you ask if he’s looking for something—and within his confusion Kaveh blurts out that he quite likes the earrings you’re wearing, so you smile and invite him to the store where you got them. He’s surprised to learn it’s a pawn shop, but the mere idea that you frequent there makes him feel a little more comfortable; perhaps the both of you were scavengers in your own right, looking for something you haven’t quite found yet.

He doesn’t buy anything, but ends up being gifted with a hair accessory by you—because his hair seems like it could use with pinning up, from how he’s been fidgeting with the ends (hair floats in the water, it does not do the same on land)—and Kaveh flusters even more when you mention it’s on the house (you own this place?!) and that it matches the color of his eyes anyways, so he should keep it. 

Suffice to say, Kaveh becomes a regular visitor to the human world after that, forging a type of second-home in the visits to the markets and bringing trinkets he’s found at sea to you. You’re not the main owner of the pawn shop, but your senior is very knowledgeable about the items he’s brought in, even paying a high price for them. It’s all going well until a storm hits your seaside town during an event out at sea—and Kaveh, who had made an excuse to not attend the ship party—rushes to your rescue when you’re the one that falls off the deck—returning you to shore the next morning.

It’s a journey of worries, anxieties and doubts from there on; if you recalled your mysterious savior, Kaveh laments at the idea of you falling for a version of him he has to keep a secret. If you knew it was him, could he still visit the shore so casually again?

Despite everything, Kaveh still has the sense to prioritize the safety of himself and his people. Thus begs the question; did he have the courage to place his trust in you?

Fish in a pool, and a curious fox

It’s not common to find merpeople living in smaller bodies of water, far from the rest of the ocean, but there are exceptions in the town where you and Tighnari lived—where certain species different from humankind created a little haven of their own to coexist and thrive, adorned in nature and springs that one wouldn’t find elsewhere.

What would your friends from university say; you were living ‘cottagecore’ lives?

The first time you met Tighnari, it’d been as kids who wandered away from home. Not to say the town was that big, but there was a little intersecting river between the merfolk and land-habitants, where you swam toward out of curiosity one day, following a stray butterfly. It almost seemed to land on the surface of the water, fluttering before perching still - thus when you carefully tried to resurface from right below it, you hadn’t expected to touch noses with a stranger who sported fox ears and a tail.

Being children, the both of you lacked the initial embarrassment that most people might have in response—instead you simply backed away in surprise, asking for the stranger's name.

There was a short reprieve in which you both spotted the butterfly again—which was flying away in a direction further onto land—but before Tighnari could tell you where it was heading toward, you were both interrupted by the calls of your families to return home.

The next time you met, Tighnari is quick to mention the thought that’d been hanging on his mind—he tried to invite you to the meadow to find butterflies (for you seemed fond of them), before belatedly realizing you couldn’t tread on land. His ears drooping slightly, you quickly told him that maybe one day you could, once you’d mastered how to shift your tails into legs when you were older.

Growing up in your town was a picturesque childhood indeed. The day you first tried walking on legs, you’d been clumsy and needed a hand from your family, who were watching over you that day. Eventually you’re able to run and jump and explore on your own, to which you find yourself attracted to a field of flowers. You haven’t seen so many up close before, and was surprised when a pair of ears peeked out from within them; Tighnari, who was watching ladybugs climbing their stems. 

That’s when your friendship properly blossomed, you supposed. As you were both interested in exploring, you and Tighnari would often go on trips together in your free time. You even brought him to the reefs once, teaching him to hold his breath just long enough to witness the beauty that lay underwater.

When you grew older, you learned that reading as many books as you had—absorbing knowledge—would come in handier than you thought. Tighnari is the first to leave the town to study in the city, a similar path his other family members took—and after a year of your own preparation, it was your turn to venture out to the Akademiya, where you heard Tighnari was.

You were independent in your own right, but becoming close friends with him (and maybe harboring a tiny crush) meant you wanted to at least be in the same city if possible. As luck permitted, you succeeded, and met Cyno during your first day when you’d become lost searching for your classes.

You’re surprised to learn later on that Tighnari has spoken of you before—enough for Cyno to ask if you knew of Tighnari based on your description of your home.

“He’d always talk about how beautiful the scenery was there, and exploring it with a childhood friend.” 

Figures that when you find Tighnari in person, you wouldn’t be any the wiser about his fondness for you in how he acts—or perhaps you’d become so used to his gestures that it’s now hard to tell. But to those that have met him since he’s been at the Akademiya, there is a clear smile in Tighnari’s eyes when he’s talking to you, and a sense of comfort that they haven’t seen from him anywhere else.

Involved in an underwater crime mystery… Mermaids are real?!

CW: missing persons mystery, reader gets kidnapped by a sea creature/villain (they’re fine though!)

Despite Cyno’s suspicions the first time he met you, you truly were just a wandering journalist that got into a lot of trouble; there’s been cases of people going missing near the seaside lately, thus when you ventured to the scene of the crime in hopes of getting some interviews, you end up getting caught by a mysterious sea creature and brought to the bottom of the ocean—at least, that’s how your story might’ve ended, if Cyno hadn’t spotted your kidnapping and intercepted it before it was too late.

The mysterious creature that took you was shrouded in shadow—some type of cloaking magic to hide its real form, but it had left a marked symbol on you from where it was gripping your leg to pull you under; unsure of what side-effects you may experience, Cyno had brought you to Tighnari first to get rid of any traces of magic before returning you to shore, only to realize that you were somehow breathing underwater, without the use of a spell on his part.

When you wake up, you’re understandably confused and perplexed. Unless you were hallucinating this entire thing, you’re now in an underwater city after being found by Cyno, a high-ranking merman guard, who had rescued you from the same creature that was probably behind the other missing persons cases.

Cyno places a hand on your shoulder in a gesture of comfort when he noticed your hands trembling, but your mind was reeling from the information (and sensory) overload.

One thing was clear: You weren’t going back to the surface until this mark was taken off you (which according to Tighnari, could only fade over time or be removed by the caster of the spell).

You had two options: stay here as a patient and wait things out, or join Cyno on his investigations. You weren’t particularly weak to pretty faces so as to risk your life for them, but the resolve that burned in Cyno’s gaze when he spoke of tracking them down helped steel your mind; you weren’t sure if you could hold on to this hope for long while stranded here alone, but perhaps you could be of some use to him with your intel from the surface, and maybe this decision would end with you having less regrets, for at least being moved to action within this crisis and confusion.

Your job was to document the truth, after all. You want to bear witness to this—to help put an end to the crime and mystery that has engulfed both your community and his.

You’re introduced to Cyno’s world and witness his dedication to protecting the underwater city of Sumeru. You hear stories from Tighnari, during your breaks, about how Cyno used to act back in their Akademiya days. It’s hard to imagine that Cyno could be invested in card games and stories of ancient magic when he was off-duty, but you honestly found the idea of it cute.

Perhaps when this whole ordeal was over, you could ask him to teach you about TCG. You get a glimpse of this other side of Cyno during one night when you’re camping out during an investigation outside the city, and he shows you a bit of elemental magic when you ask if he’s capable of such things too.

Admittedly, Cyno is more combat-oriented these days, but he tells you that he’s always liked the sound of adventures and playing a role different from what he’s used to. You think to yourself that out here, with this demonstration of magic that’s like stealing the stars from the night sky to a mortal like yourself, that he could be anything he wanted to be and you’d still follow him to the ends of the ocean.

But when all was said and done, where would your friendship go? It’s a little selfish, but a part of you is starting to wish that this adventure would never end.

Befriending a bad-mannered mermaid… Have we met before?

CW: Reader has trouble sleeping/insomnia. Mentions of drowning but it’s just a quip from Wanderer, not described or actually happening to anyone here. Uh… just him being mean but it's not from a malicious place. Reader technically presumed dead (?) — it’s a little complicated but I swear it makes sense once you read, it’s not angsty don't worry!

To start things off anticlimactically, you met Wanderer one day when you were walking by the shore at dawn, having had another restless night. With your eyelids finally growing heavy as you leaned against a boulder on the sand, you found yourself drifting to sleep…

…Only to be rudely interrupted by a pebble thrown your way, just narrowly missing your leg.

While Wanderer would simply say it’s because you were interrupting his alone time (who does he think he is, talking as if he owned the beach anyways?!) It was really just a matter of safety. He continues to quip at you, making comments about how you clearly lacked self-preservation if you thought sleeping there was fine, and to not complain that he was a quiet bystander when you get dragged out by the current and drown.

You’re obviously confused and indignant at the same time—not to mention he’d just left immediately after that. But hours later you realize he was talking to you really casually. The next time you encounter him and ask as such, Wanderer simply says that all humans were the same, though some were obviously not a threat to him—like you. 

You had half a mind to throw something back at him, only to be interrupted when Wanderer suddenly asked for your name. He’s uncharacteristically silent after hearing it, before telling you his own and disappearing again.

When you couldn’t sleep, you’d go to the beach these days in order to let the sunlight lull you to sleepiness, or—if that didn’t work—you’d draw Wanderer’s name into the sand to be washed away by the waves again and again. You’re not sure who told you this, but there was a saying that whatever message was washed away by the sea would be delivered to recipients in the water. When Wanderer finds you that afternoon, he’s quick to call the belief idiotic—only for you to argue that he did show up anyways.

Perhaps it’s because of how unabashedly proud he acts, but you find yourself responding to Wanderer in a familiar manner as well. You’re not afraid to retort against his remarks, and over time you become friends, though he would hate to admit it so plainly.

…To start things off from a different point of view, your friendship had actually started long before you started having issues with sleep, and perhaps even before you started to live your life on land.

Long ago, Wanderer had a friend who painstakingly wore down his barriers and adopted him as a companion. That is, in the same way a cat and owner relationship might work—though he had no clue what exactly a cat was, for his friend was the only one between them to have ventured far enough into the human world to meet one.

Wanderer didn’t care much about humans, but his friend (who was a merperson), quite liked their creations and stories. They’d always found it amusing to see humans board their cruise ships and pollute the air with their noise, while Wanderer would constantly remind them to not get too caught up in human-watching. What was so great about those land-dwellers anyways?

After a series of events, said friend had gone missing and was presumed dead. So how many thoughts flurried through Wanderer’s mind on the day he saw you at the beach as if to taunt him? How betrayed and confused and annoyed had he felt after rationalizing things in his mind; that if you were a reincarnation of his friend, that you wouldn’t remember anything. That if you were his friend yourself, who’d turned out to have lived, you’d have your reasons for never attempting contact. And if it was neither of those, you were just a look-alike and fate had a really crappy sense of humor for making him stumble upon you like so.

He’d started venturing closer to the surface ever since his friend’s disappearance—partially as a way to get away from the city and the well-meaning but overbearing attempts to comfort him, and also as a little way to feel connected to them again.

Wanderer doubts he’d ever love humans the same way they did, but he’s at least able to appreciate the softness of the morning when the sun filters through the surface just right.

To summarize, yes - you are that friend, though whether you’d been reincarnated after an incident or simply had your memories erased eludes the both of you. The story starts here, and has much to explore henceforth; as much as Wanderer liked to complain, he was quite relieved to be able to adventure with you again. The more time he spends with you, the more he’s convinced that maybe second chances do come true.

aH I see

YOU LIAR @messier-m87

If this is true

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS