This Will Get To The Right People

Jeff in this episode especially boldly answers the question "what if a 47-year-old man was a cutie pie"

The Rose And Her Thorn

Masterlist

Hey guys! Here's the next part. Hope you like it! (When they say 'Oh my dad', it does mean 'Oh my god')

Word Count: 1057

Part 4.

Esmeria sat with her back to the window of Enid and Wednesday's room, playing with the sleeves of her grey jumper. She was bored, and wanted something to distract her. That something came in the form of Wednesday Addams walking into the room, pausing at the sight of the brunette on the floor. "Why are you in here?"

Esmeria stood up. "Oh! I didn't like being alone in my room. I can leave if you-"

"No." Wednesday shook her head, hiding her own surprise at the sound of her voice. "It's okay. But be quiet, this is my writing time."

Esmeria smiled and sat back down as Wednesday placed a record on the gramophone and sat down. La Llorona played as the clicking of Wednesday's typewriter filled the air. Esmeria was scrolling through Twitter.

Suddenly, Wednesday's bed squeaked. Both girls looked up from their respective activities, Wednesday being the first to notice a lump crawling underneath the covers. She lunged over, flipping the covers back to reveal a hand running across the bed, pausing upon spotting Wednesday.

"I knew it! Hello, Thing." The hand leapt from the mattress to the bedframe, latching on as Wednesday grabbed its wrist, yanking it towards the desk and slamming it down. Esmeria had to admit, Wednesday did look rather hot.

Esmeria walked up behind Wednesday as she was talking to the hand. "Did you think my highly trained olfactory sense wouldn't pick up on the faint whiff of neroli and bergamot in your favorite hand lotion?"

The hand slightly quivered. Wednesday's eyebrow quirked. "I could do this all day."

The desk started shaking from the amount of quivering that the hand was doing, while Esmeria started humming the actual song 'I could do this all day'. You know the one from Rogers: The Musical in Hawkeye? Yeah, that's it.

The hand saw Esmeria standing behind Wednesday and started frantically signing at the black-clad girl. Wednesday sighed. "Thing, that's Esmeria. She's a... friend. Esmeria, this is Thing."

"Hello Thing!" Esmeria chirped, seemingly unfazed by the whole thing. I mean, she had seen weirder stuff.

Wednesday went back to her previous conversation with the hand. "Mother and Father sent you to spy on me, didn't they? I'm not above breaking a few fingers. That they thought I wouldn't find out proves how much they underestimate me."

"Oh Thing, you poor, naive appendage. My parents aren't worried about me. They're evil puppeteers who pull strings from afar. The way I see it, you have two options. Option one." Wednesday lifted Thing up and pulled open her desk drawer.

"I lock you in here for the rest of the semester, and you go slowly insane trying to claw your way out, ruining your nails and your smooth, supple skin. And we both know how vain you are." She placed the shaking hand back on the desk. "Option two. You pledge your undying loyalty to me."

Thing slowly but surely lowerd into the hand version of a bow. Although having been introduced to the hand, Esmeria was still unsure what to make of the situation. Wednesday lightly nodded. "Our first order of business is to escape this teenage purgatory."

Thing quickly signed something.

"Of course I have a plan. And it begins now."

Esmeria shook her head. "No- Sorry- Excuse me, but what the Underworld is going on right now? I'm very confused."

Wednesday sighed. "I suppose proper introductions would be appropriate. Esmeria, this is Thing. No one knows how long he has been in the family, and no one knows where the rest of his body is."

Esmeria nodded. "Oh, ok! Well, I'm Esmeria, Wednesday's kind-of friend."

Thing waved, before signing something to Esmeria. She tilted her head. "Well, my main power is being able to control plants."

Wednesday lifted her head. The mystery was unraveling, and she wouldn't admit it, but she was getting excited. "So, how can you do that? Is one of your parents a witch or warlock or something of the like?"

Esmeria shook her head and thought for a second. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to tell you guys... It is a bit shocking though."

Wednesday shrugged. "We're in Nevermore. Isn't everything shocking?"

Esmeria adjusted how she was standing. "My mum is Persephone, and my dad is Hades. Yes, I am talking about the god and goddess."

Wednesday's eyes widened slightly. "Really?" She stood up and began circling Esmeria like a hawk, studying her. "Greek Mythology is all real?"

Esmeria tilted her head from side to side. "Majority of the different pantheons are. It depends on what you believe in, I suppose."

Wednesday very lightly chuckled. "Fascinating."

Esmeria's eyes blew open. "Did I just make THE Wednesday Addams laugh?"

Wednesday immediately sat back down. "No."

Esmeria laughed, and Wednesday almost blushed. "Well Wednesday Addams, I'll be seeing you. Keep my secret and remember, reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold!"

Then the brunette stepped backwards, and melted into the shadows of Wednesday's wall. The girl with ebony hair sighed. "Thing, there is something wrong with me. I have this weird feeling, like spiders are crawling in my stomach."

"No, I can't like her."

"Because she will never like me back!"

❀⁂❀⁂❀

Meanwhile, Esmeria was in her room, frantically texting the groupchat she shared with her cousins.

𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖱𝖾𝖺𝗅 𝖧𝗈𝗎𝗌𝖾𝗐𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗌 𝖮𝖿 𝖮𝗅𝗒𝗆𝗉𝗎𝗌💁‍♀️

ᵈᵉᵃᵈ ᵇⁱᵗᶜʰ👻

GUYSGUYSGUYS

EMERGENCY

ʰᵒᵗˢʰᵒᵗ🌞

what is it

its too early for this shit

ˢʰᵒᵒᵗⁱⁿᵍ ˢᵗᵃʳ💫

what happened esmè

ᵈᵉᵃᵈ ᵇⁱᵗᶜʰ👻

ive dallen in love again

*falen

*falin

*fellan

fuck

how do words work

ˢʰᵒᵒᵗⁱⁿᵍ ˢᵗᵃʳ💫

oh my dad

again?

really?

im so done with u rn

ʰᵒᵗˢʰᵒᵗ🌞

WHAT

OH MY DAD

LITERALLY TELL ME EVERYTHING

ᵈᵉᵃᵈ ᵇⁱᵗᶜʰ👻

LITERALLY OK

OH MY DAD

SHE'S SO PRETTY

HER HAIR LOOKS SO SOFT

HER EYES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL

OH MY DAD

LITERALLY JUST-

UGH

SHE'S SO NICE-?

to me at least

ˢʰᵒᵒᵗⁱⁿᵍ ˢᵗᵃʳ💫

esmè

she's literally perfect for you.

you know i dont rlly do the whole love thing, but bro-

literally just kiss.

ʰᵒᵗˢʰᵒᵗ🌞

you know i hate to say it, but arty's right

just kiss already

ᵈᵉᵃᵈ ᵇⁱᵗᶜʰ👻

oh my dad

ok

ill see what i can do

thx for hypeing me up tho guys

ʰᵒᵗˢʰᵒᵗ🌞

np

im always ur hypeman/wingman bro

ˢʰᵒᵒᵗⁱⁿᵍ ˢᵗᵃʳ💫

and im always ur...

wingwoman?

ᵈᵉᵃᵈ ᵇⁱᵗᶜʰ👻

thx fr tho xoxo

oh yeah, i got a haircut

diversity win! the person running the local cult is a lesbian māori woman!

OH SHIT JACKIE HI BABY

i love her with all my heart, she looks so biteable

reblog if you think leah jeffries is our annabeth 🤌

meaning that you are going to reblog. everyone is allowed their own opinion, but NOT before we see leah in action as the character she was cast for. she got the role thanks to her own merits and talents, not because they wanted inclusivity. leah is a brilliant actress and deserves to be acknowledged as such

you guys really don’t hear dripping?

that's crazy work

This flannel sends u out of the house to die