Lovely Story From A Friend Today.

My body is already an inhospitable environment, there’s no way a friggin baby would be able to survive in it

magnets want me they want me so bad (i am a magnet)

hiiiiiiiiiii i forgot to use this app ever meow

Imagine being a knight radiant on the battlefield and the lightweaver next to you just mutters "I'm into piss" and their lightweaving get visibly better

i hate magicians because when i was seven i was watching a magician perform during my friend's birthday party and he did this one trick where he would take a black statuette and a white statuette, cover them each with a cloth, and then lift the cloths off to reveal that they were in separate places. and i thought i had figured out the trick so i yelled to the magician that the back sides of the statuettes were painted with opposite colors and he was just turning them while they were covered by the cloth. and the biggest, shit-eatingest grin spread across his face as he turned the statuettes to reveal that the back halves were painted yellow and red. everyone clapped and cheered and he bowed like five times. to this day i dont know how he pulled that shit off and every time i'm reminded of it i get a brain hemorrhage from pissing myself off real bad

HEY, YOU!

DO YOU LIKE OLD COMPUTER GRAPHICS?!

did you like ANY of these photos? would you like to see HUNDREDS MORE OF THEM?! with THOUSANDS OF UNIQUE TEXTURES?! ALL FROM FUCKING DECEMBER 15TH, YEAR 2000?!

NOW YOU CAN!!!

THERE'S ALSO A BUNCH OF CLIPART FROM 1997 IN .WMF FORMAT. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE THAT, BUT YOU MIGHT!

STILL not convinced???? LOOK AT THE DISC THEY CAME FROM!

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!??!?!?!?!?! DON'T WAIT! GO LOOK AT THOSE JPEGS... TODAY!

officially decided that anyone who tries to divide the lgbt community is a fed. i dont care if you're not actually a fed, if you're causing infighting in a minority community then you're a fed who just isnt getting paid to be one. either apply for a job at the CIA or shut the fuck up

me and gf were making out and i slipped my hand into her waistband for a second and burst into uncontrollable laughter because this fucking tweet appeared in my head like a message from god

my friend liz downloaded some free audio software a few months ago to do something and now every time she joins a call a female voice says “trial. trial.” and liz doesn’t remember the name of the software or know how to stop it and she doesn’t want to