“patroclus And Achilles And Jegulus Variants!” “james Is Achilles And Reg Is Patroclus!!!” NO.

Vader: [opening a desk drawer in Obi-Wan’s old room] Let’s see what this old fool kept in here…[picking up a piece of paper]  Obi-Wan: [in a letter] 

Dear Anakin, 

If you’re reading this, then you must be rifling through my belongings, which means you are either extremely bored (in which case I suggest going and tidying up your quarters, which I don’t need to see to know are a disaster,) or I’ve been missing for an extended amount of time and the Order needs the room to store extra chairs, or I’ve died, possibly while trying to rid the galaxy of General Grievous. If I am in fact dead, I hope this letter finds you well in spite of it, and that you have not gone off the deep end or murdered anyone in an attempt to avenge me. (…unless it’s Grievous, I suppose.)

You will find attached to this letter the receipts for several items in my room, such as the electric tea kettle. I hope you can at least return them for store credit. 

I’ve set up a college savings plan with the Galactic Bank of Coruscant, because I noticed that Senator Amidala is obviously pregnant, and since I am not nearly as dense as you apparently think I am, I presume the child is yours. The account information is in my safe, which I would give you the combination to except that I know you have been breaking into it since you were 14. 

If you do intend to eventually leave the Order, as I suspect you might, please make sure that you give the Council two weeks’ notice. It’s only polite, and you never know when you may need to use them as a reference. Even though I know you clash with them, they do care about you.

Finally, please make sure Duchess Satine’s nephew gets the inheritance I’ve left him (the information is also in my safe, and no, I’m not going to tell you any more details about this. I realize how much this is going to torment you, and I’d be lying if I said that’s not bringing a smile to my face.) 

Your blanket is in the hamper. Wash it on the gentle cycle. The password for the wi-fi, in case you’ve forgotten, is BuyYourOwnDataPlanAnakin.

Be well, my Padawan, and I shall see you again someday – hopefully many years from now – when you, too, rejoin the Force. Don’t forget to change the payment settings for Netflix now that I’m dead or you’ll fall behind on your programs. 

Yours,  Obi-Wan Kenobi  PS: Don’t let Vos speak at my funeral. 

Random linguistic worldbuilding: A language with six sets of pronouns, which are set by one's current state of existence. There's a separate pronoun for people who are alive, people who are dead, and potential future people who are yet to be born, and the ambiguous ones of "may or may not be alive or aleady dead", "may or may not have even been born yet", and the ultimate general/ambiguous all-covering one that covers all ambiguous states.

The culture has a specific defined term for that tragic span of time when a widow keeps accidentally referring to their spouse with living pronouns. New parents-to-be dropping the happy surprise news of a pregnancy by referring to their future child with the "is yet to be born" pronoun instead of a more ambiguous one and waiting for the "wait what did you just say?" reactions.

Someone jokingly referring to themselves with the dead person pronouns just to highlight how horrible their current hangover is. A notorious aspiring ladies' man who keeps trying to pursue women in their 20s despite of approaching middle age fails to notice the insult when someone asks him when he's planning to get married, and uses the pronoun that implies that his ideal future bride may not even be born yet.

A mother whose young adult child just moved away from home for the first time, who continues to dramatically refer to their child with "may or may not be already dead" until the aforementioned child replies to her on facebook like "ma stop telling people I'm dead" and having her respond with "well how could I possibly know that when you don't even write to us? >:,C"

Do you think Dick ever, in his early days as Robin, scared a criminal that punched him, by using the fact that he still had baby teeth?

Just, imagine the situation:

Dick has a baby tooth that is about to fall, which is normal considering he is still a small child.

He's outside as Robin, in the middle of a fight.

So, a thief, thug, or any helper of a villain, is in a fight with him, the guy is still hesitant to hit a child, even if said child is just beating him up.

Then, out of pure luck, he lands a blow to the boy's jaw.

Dick immediately steps back, more than because of the punch, it is simply to get distance, but then, he feels his baby tooth come loose, and he immediately spits it out, with a little blood, of course.

For less than half a second, Dick considers just throwing it away and moving on, but notices just in time the horrified face of the guy he's fighting.

And Dick just knows he simply can't miss the opportunity.

What does he do? He starts crying.

And the poor guy who was fighting him knows he's extremely screwed when he doesn't even need to turn around to know he's got bat-dad behind him.

Yeah. And you try to art anyway, but you just end up crying because you want to share so bad but you can't.

Is anyone else cursed with having great concepts for things but can’t make them because you’re broken and can’t art?

pov its the end of the clone wars. anakin skywalker is going into a downhill spiral and obi wan needs caf. everything is about to go to shit and there is nothing anyone can do.

fox exists.

It was a normal day- except it wasn't. Fox was in a mood, and this particular mood was called a hangover. Too much partying- and with half of the 501st, at that- and too many drinks. It's one of those mornings- he's alive, and now everyone has to deal with it.

You see, every day, Fox puts a tally on the wall- a tally for every day he goes without shooting a certain someone between the eyes. Today, he stares at the wall, sighs, and puts on his helmet. He's hung over, hungry for the blood of the bitch, and pissed off. Why not go out with a bang? Everyone else seems to do it.

So Fox makes his way up to the Senate, climbs the hundreds of stairs just to make this all the more satisfying when he gets to the top, and he says his prayers and hopes that the bitch is in his office.

And he walks in to see Chancellor Palpatine in a black cloak and hood. What the fuck is this guy doing, cosplaying? Fox must have caught him doing something important- a holonet cosplay contest, perhaps?- as the Chancellor looks up sharply and tries to go for something. In the frenzy, Fox messily raises his blaster and puts the charge right where he wanted it. Then, he drops the gun and stares at the body of the bitch he had to report to for three years and is about to open the comm link to report that he just assassinated the Chancellor.

Then a whole entourage consisting of Mace Windu and co- plus Anakin fucking Skywalker, a few moments later- runs in, and sees Fox standing at the desk, trifling through very weird and oddly evil-ish papers. Palpatine's body is on the floor.

"Fox," Mace asks, almost calmly but letting some relief and confusion into his voice. "How did you know the Chancellor was a sith?"

Fox pauses, and looks up at Mace. He doesn't take his helmet off, but the expression on his face is almost emotionless as he asks, "He was a what?"

From that day forward, Fox was awarded as the savior of the galaxy. The clone that took down the sith that years and generations of jedi could not. The world goes on. Anakin Skywalker does not fall. Obi-Wan Kenobo becomes a godfather. Ahsoka and her 501st buddies reunite. Everyone doesn't realize that they dodged the largest bullet in history.

All because Fox was done with the Chancellor's shit and decided to give him what he deserved.

There’s something about Roy’s specific kind of abandonment issues. A lot of other characters, they’ll distance themselves, they’ll stop themselves from getting attached, they’ll put up a wall and push people away. Roy? Generally speaking, he’s always open. He loves so easily, he’ll get attached to people so quickly. He puts himself out there, he gives his whole heart, and every time he’s hoping that this time he’ll be good enough for someone to stay, but every time he’s so scared that he won’t be good enough, that eventually they’ll leave. And every time he’s proven right. It’s Roy Harper’s tragedy. He’ll always lose the ones he loves, no matter how hard he tries. He’ll try and try and try, he’ll let people back into his life the second they ask, but they’ll always leave again. And in his mind, he’ll never be enough.

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you to get to know your mutuals and followers!!

Hmm… in no particular order:

Curling up in bed when it’s snowing outside

Reading good books (and fanfics)

Pacing while coming up with song segments, scenes that could be in fics, singing/humming/speaking dramatically without anyone around to ask if I’m insane

People talking to me :)

Being with my best friend or with my family

this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*

Batfam incorrect quotes because I like to:

—

Bruce: Alfred, what do I do?

Damian: This is an issue...

De aged Dick: I told you I didn't want little siblings! D:<

De aged Jason, crying under a table with a batarang: I DON'T WANNA BE KIDNAPPED!

De aged Tim, staring at Bruce with big, wide eyes: :o

De aged Stephanie, tackling Dick:

—

Bruce: Alright, until Zatanna can get here, you're gonna need to be on your best behavior.

Stephanie: I want my Mom!

Stephanie, kicking Bruce's shins:

Bruce: I am so glad you're not my kid.

Dick, staring at a Nintento game card: Why's the game cartridge so small!?

Bruce: Oh, yeah, I forgot you grew up in the 90's... Um...

Tim, trying to eat said game card:

Bruce: Timothy Jackson Drake, no!

Tim, dropping it quickly and posing like a startled Red Panda: :o

Alfred, holding Jason by the scruff: Sir, master Jason attempted escape again.

Jason: I'm telling my Dad on you! He'll beat you up! MY PARENTS ARE GONNA CALL THE COPS ON YOU! JUST YA WAIT, THEY'RE GONNA BE HERE AND TAKE ME AWAY FROM YOU FOREVER!

Bruce: Hrn, maybe I should've talked to Jason more about his birth parents when I got him...

Alfred: No Father is perfect, sir.

Stephanie: MY MOM SAYS EAT THE RICH!

Stephanie, taking a bite out of Bruce's hand:

—

Bruce: Look, I turned on a movie!

Dick: . . . Why is THE LION KING IN REAL LIFE!?

Bruce: It's live action—

Dick: KILL IT!

Tim, lifting a camera up slowly and snapping a picture of Bruce from a corner:

Bruce: !? Tim?! Where'd you get a camera!?

Tim, dropping to all fours and quietly crawling along the shadows to leave the room:

Bruce: . . . What?

Damian: Father, permission to be a tad bit suspicious of Tim's humanity?

Bruce: He didn't have any when I met him, now I think he might not be human.

—

Jason: I'M IN A BATMOBILE AND YOU'RE NOT!

Bruce, trying to open the door frantically: Jason Peter Todd get out of that car right this instance!

Jason: TAKE ME HOME!

Bruce: Jason, please, I'm not trying to kidnap you.

Jason: I WANT MY MOM!

Tim, popping up from the back seats to climb into the passenger seat and snap a photo of Bruce, desperately struggling to get inside the bat mobile:

Jason: WHERE'D YOU COME FROM!?

Tim, shrugging:

Jason: . . . YOU'RE WEIRD!

Dick, running around in Stephanie's Robin uniform: BATMAN, NANANANANANANA!!!

Stephanie, squealing as she swings Tim's bō staff around:

Damian, chasing after them both: ENOUGH, BOTH OF YOU! YOU ARE ACTING CHILDISH!

Jason, crying: I want my Mooooom.

Tim, turning on the radio, gasping when it works: :o

—

Dick, glaring at a laptop: That's not normal. Why'd you flatten the computer?! WHAT IS THAT THING ON IT!?

Bruce: It's a laptop, and that's internet, and I'm trying to contact Lucius to inform him neither Tim or I will be there for work today.

Damian: Must I go to school? This seems like a family emergency.

Dick: I don't wanna go to school either!

Tim, dropping from an air vent onto the floor, landing face first like a limp rag doll:

Bruce: OH MY GOD!?

Tim, coughing once before picking himself up and snapping a picture of Bruce:

Bruce: . . . I need to get Tim tested.

Damian: For?

Bruce, watching as Tim waddles away: Everything.

—

Stephanie: This place is to big, my Dad would never let me stay at a place this fancy.

Jason: We're being human trafficked!

Stephanie: I dunno, that guy hasn't tried anything.

Jason: Them why do you keep bitin' and kickin' 'im?

Stephanie: I just like to.

Tim:

Jason: WHERE DID YOU COME FROM!?

Tim, lifting up a blank, thick, white binder, flipping it open to reveal page after page of pictures of both Bruce and Batman, as well as Dick and Robin:

Stephanie: What's that?

Tim: Batman.

Jason: YOU CAN SPEAK!?

Tim: . . . Wanna hear me talk about Batman?

Stephanie:

Jason:

Both: Sure.

Tim, big gasp: :O

—

Dick, swinging from a chandelier, singing: WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!? WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!? WOOF WOOF WOOF!

Bruce, sipping from a mug of coffee: I'm glad I got those reinforced...

Tim, taking a picture:

Bruce: . . . Are you hungry?

Tim:

Bruce: You... You haven't eaten.

Tim:

Bruce: . . . Alfred, can you contact Cass? She might be able to communicate with Tim.

Alfred: Right away, sir.

—

Cass: Hi, Tim.

Tim:

Cass: What am I meant to do?

Bruce: Communicate with him..?

Cass: . . . How?

Bruce: You know body language better than I do.

Cass: He seems neutral.

Bruce: I don't think his facial expression has changed once.

Cass: What?

Bruce: Unless blinking counts.

Tim, looking at Bruce: I know what you are.

Tim, waddling off:

Cass: Why was he scarier as a child?

Bruce: The only one who wasn't terrifying as a child was Tim.

Jason, running through the halls with a bucket on his head, right into a wall: Oof!

Bruce: . . . And Jason.

—

Stephanie: You're pretty.

Cassandra: Thank you.

Stephanie: Why is there so many boys here?

Cassandra: Men usually have a harder time dealing with complex emotions and so are more likely to turn to violence to cope, hence why Bruce became Batman. As for Tim, Dick, and Jason? They ended up with Bruce and inherited his... Coping mechanisms.

Stephanie: . . . What?

Cassandra: . . . Want to go hang out at our girls only club?

Stephanie: YES!

—

Babs: Permission to ask?

Cass, braiding Stephanie's hair: No.

Stephanie, eating a king sized Hershey bar, looking like Kirby as she opens her mouth to consume it whole:

—

Bruce: Alright, I had to bribe Alfred with a months vacation, but...

Bruce, putting down two big bags of McDonald's:

Dick: MCDONALD'S!!!!

Tim, snapping a picture:

Jason: Is it drugged?

Bruce: No more than Gotham's food usually is. I got you a Wonder Woman toy.

Dick: I WANT SUPERMAN! :D

Bruce: You got Superman.

Jason: Hm . . . Bribe accepted, but only because if you try to hurt me I'm gonna tell the cops your Batman and get you arrested for forever.

Bruce, knowing damn well Jason hates the police and ain't no snitch: That's fine.

Jason, digging into a bag instantly:

Tim:

Bruce: Uh...

Bruce, slowly lifting a French fry between two fingers:

Tim, eating it from Bruce's fingers before waddling away:

Bruce: . . .

Dick: Wait, isn't that our neighbor?

Jason, lifting his toy in the air: WONDER WOMAN!!!

Dick: Wanna make her fight my Superman!?

Jason: HELL YEAH!

—

Bruce: Alright, Zatanna will be here in an hour. Thank god.

Dick: Is she gonna make us grown ups again?

Bruce: Yes.

Dick: YAY! NO MORE SCHOOL!

Jason: But I like school! Can I still go to school as a grown up?

Bruce: Uh... Of course, Jay, lad.

Jason: YES! EDUCATION! I can't wait to graduate again! :D

Bruce: uhhhh...

Tim: I ate the game card.

Jason:

Dick:

Bruce:

—

BONUS:

*Tim and Bernard, sitting in a hospital room*

Bernard: How'd you get a Stardew Valley Nintendo switch game stuck in your large intestine?

—

Characters' train of thought explained through mycro expressions

Well, I say explained, but just hear me out.

It occurred to me just now that I was making one of my silly posts, that they way Sherlock and John react to Sally Donovan's words might reflect something that I hadn't previously considered.

Up until this point in ASiP, John has just met Mrs. Hudson, with whom Sherlock seems to be so close, and her first thought was not only that he and Sherlock were romantically involved, but that they were already serious enough to be moving in together.

Then, there's Sally Donovan. She calls Sherlock a freak, so from here on, it must be obvious to John they're not in good terms.

Sherlock then remarks Sally didn't make it home the previous night, and Sally knows he's right; furthermore, she knows why she didn't make it home; she was with Anderson, with whom she is actually romantically involved, but presumably, she doesn't want to give Sherlock, the man she constantly ridicules, the power to ridicule her back over Anderson, so she tries to prevent Sherlock from going any further with his deductions by deflecting to John and the reason he's there.

Sherlock proceeds to introduce John by his professional title, "Colleague of mine, Doctor Watson", because he's eager to show off his association with him, something I have previously theorised about in this post, but Sally doesn't care about that, now does she?

"Colleague? How do you get a colleague?" she asks then, and the question is obviously meant to imply Sherlock is so utterly unbearable that no one would want to be around him, but it serves another purpose too. By teasing Sherlock about his involvement with John, she can easily deflect from her own involvement with Anderson.

Now, let's see the boys' reactions to the question again, shall we?

Sherlock turns his head and rolls his eyes because he's obviously offended, but he's already used to it; after all, Sally is hardly the first person to treat Sherlock this way, but John, John frowns as if offended on Sherlock's behalf because at this point, neither Sally nor Mycroft have warned him about Sherlock being... well, Sherlock yet. It is then that Sally adds...

Sherlock lowers his head, once he finally gets what Sally is implying. It is true that Sherlock doesn't know that she spent the night with Anderson yet, but just the fact that she was out all night might suggest she spent it with someone, and now she might be asking if John followed Sherlock home for the exact same reason.

Thing is, at this point, they have just met each other, and they seem to be getting along. This doesn't happen to Sherlock that often, and he must know John is special, which is the reason he invited him along in the first place. Why would a man who is said to have no friends and who once said "Alone protects me" would immediately ask John to live with him and work with him within 24 hours of having met him if he wasn't the exception to the rule? I can only imagine how badly Sherlock wants to be the exception to the rule for John as well, and how scared he might be of driving him away; after all, he's learned from everyone else around him that he's a freak, that he puts everyone off, that he's meant to be alone, and he doesn't want John to see him in that light because he wants him to stay.

Sally's comments have effectively made John question why he's even there. He rolls his eyes and prompty suggests it might be better if he waits outside, but that's not all there is to it.

Why would John suggest that? He could have just ignored Sally's question, but instead, he reacts just like he did when Mrs. Hudson ("Of course we'll be needing two"), and Angelo ("I'm not his date") implied he and Sherlock were a couple, by retreating. Sherlock can't be happy about this, but he reacts like he did before too, by ignoring the situation and bringing John along anyway. He can deal with Donovan later.

The opportunity presents itself when they come across Anderson, and it takes Sherlock less than a second to deduce by his deodorant that he is the person with whom Sally spent the night, which is then confirmed by their reactions.

So this little remark...

This was payback. If Sally really thought she could make him look inadequate in front of John, well then she'd better take a look at her own choice of companionship first. Inappropriate and immature, sure, but so was Sally Donovan's behavior from the start.

So we're finally in, and who do we have next? Ah, Lestrade! Kind, and unassuming Detective Inspector Lestrade, who mirrors Sally's question upon seeing John, but Sherlock is having none of this.

Translation: "I'm not doing this again. This is nobody's business but our own. He's here, he's with me, and I intend to keep him, so would everyone please back off?"

I may be wrong, but I think that ultimately, this might be at least part of the reason Sherlock doesn't respond when they are interrogated about the nature of their relationship. Why bother when it's obvious to him people don't know the first thing about them? This is them, this is the two of them against the rest of the world, this is private, this is their life together, this is what they are to each other and Sherlock will have no one question it or ridicule it, let alone trying to understand it.

Almost 12 years later, and here I am, trying to question it, and trying to understand it, but that's neither here, nor there.