This Man Has Been On My "fictional Character I Would Marry In A Heartbeat" List Since I Was Seven. The

At the Manor

Bruce: kids, i want you to meet your uncle

Tim: we have an uncle?

Dick: you have a brother??

Cass: 🤯

Bruce: yes. his name is tony. tony stark.

Batkids:

Jason: what.

Tony Stark: hey kids

Jason: what.

Damian: we meet again, uncle.

Tim: you met him?!

Tony: dami, heya! how’s the girlfriend?

Dick: GIRLFRIEND???

Damian, blushing: marinette is well. how fares my cousins?

Jason: COUSINS???

Tony, stepping to the side: ask them yourself

Peter Parker-Stark: hi dames!

Morgan Stark: *waves*

Peter, to bruce: hi uncle b! have you told them about—

Peter, whispering: you-know-what?

Bruce: oh yes, i almost forgot

Bruce, opening his jacket: kids, this is your new brother, danny

Danny Fenton: 👻

Batkids: 😧

Peter, shaking his head: no, not him! the—

Peter, whispering: you-know-what

Bruce, realizing: oh yes, i go by neal caffrey now

Batkids: 😧

Ladybug, outside: miraculous ladybug!

Tony, disappearing: pete, i don’t feel so good

Peter, swarmed by ladybugs: dad no!

Twilight Sparkle, appearing: don’t worry we can fix this

Twilight Sparkle: with the power of friendship!

*a true true friend starts playing*

Batkids: 😧

happy april fools

The LBGTQ+ community was misrepresented and demonized to me from the moment I was old enough to comprehend what it was. So what if what it took to make me consider something so foreign to what I had been taught my whole life was a story that featured two fictional characters, whom I already liked and sympathized with and had noticed had a strong relationship with each other, in a romantic setting? Fanfiction is the only thing that gave me information beyond what I was taught growing up, so without it, I'd still be a homophobe. (Although homopath seems like it would be a better term.) So what, do you want me to apologize for this? Not happening.

i do not care if someone learned compassion from a cartoon or a comic or an anime im just glad they're here with us now a better person fighting the good fight. should it have taken something so trivial? maybe not- but it's in the past! and this is the now! and if they're objectively better for it who cares

that time of the year when you realize the depression isn’t seasonal

lab and border collie 

When I'm liking your vent post just know that I'm kneeling with my sword to offer you support.

i’m so sorry for the typo. justice for wuthering heights.

miscellaneous expanded universe boba fett characterization details, JUNIOR NOVELS EDITION

hello, hello! i’m here to share more random boba fett details, this time turning towards his younger self—specifically, his younger self as characterized by the boba fett junior novels that i may have had a slight obsession with as a kid. full disclaimer that the events of these novels have been alomst completely retconned by bitty!boba’s appearances in TCW, but, well… i still like them, so there :<

and now, without further ado:

bitty!boba is kind of a bundle of contradictions. especially pre-geonosis, he’s a genuinely nice kid who likes animals, reading books, and playing pretend. he also thinks murder is a perfectly good way of solving problems. he knows all about major underworld figures and various ways of tracking/harming others. he’s also alarmingly sheltered and naive. he spends multiple days agonizing over feeding feeder mice to his pet eel and even attempts to release some of them against his father’s orders. he tries to literally murder obi-wan like a week later. the kid contains multitudes, is what i’m saying.

boba: “a sea-mouse is an innocent creature that never knowingly did anything to anybody” [obi-wan enters line of sight] “you, however, i would maim.”

boba’s life on kamino is honestly kind of depressing. he lives in extreme isolation and only has regular contact with like… four people, one of whom is a droid. he talks to himself constantly because he has no one else to talk to, especially when the adults in his life aren’t around. for the first ten years of his life, he never even interacts with someone his own age. needless to say, it’s a very lonely existence.

because he’s stuck on kamino, boba learns a lot of what he knows about the rest of the galaxy by reading books. for this reason, he has an approximate knowledge of many things! so he’s not completely ignorant on the galaxy outside his bubble, even if his knowledge is usually second-hand and incomplete.

for example, he knows JUST enough about the beings known as “mothers” to figure out that the changeling bounty hunter zam wesell isn’t his mom—not bc they aren’t even the same species, but bc none of the books he’s read have ever mentioned moms shapeshifting, QED, zam =/= mom. flawless logic.

in addition, bitty!boba also doesn’t know what a gender role is for the first 10 years of his life. when he finds out, he is extremely disappointed with the galaxy. no, i’m serious. he gets stuck on an orphanage ship after his father is killed and is befriended by a non-binary alien kid. the kid complains about binary gender roles and boba is just perplexed and appalled by the whole thing.

the kid LOVES starfighters. he likes reading about them, talking about them, and occasionally even seeing a few at tipoca city’s spaceport. in fact, when jango wants to make boba feel better about [gestures vaguely at the state of his life], he takes boba to the spaceport and just lets him info-dump about whatever he sees there. (though, of course, no starfighter could ever beat slave I <3)

something else bitty!boba loves: STARS. he doesn’t actually get to see them most of the time bc the sky is always overcast on kamino, but when he does see them, especially as he gets a little older, he’s completely awed by them. later on, when he’s stuck on that republic orphanage ship, he spends long stretches of time sitting in the rear observation blister, just staring out at the near-stationary starscape.

post-geonosis, boba has to change a lot. the most immediate lesson he has to learn is not to trust others and, of course, he learns it the hard way. after his father dies, this kid is just running up to strangers like “HI MY DAD IS DEAD AND I HAVE NO ONE TO CONTACT AND NO WAY TO GET HOME, PLS HELP.” and these assholes are always like, “oh, what a coincidence :) i knew your dad, actually :) just follow me and i’ll take care of everything :)” AND THIS FUCKING KID JUST BELIEVES THEM.

jango fett really taught this kid how to disassemble and reassemble a blaster but not about stranger danger, smh

anyway… several attempted kidnappings/robberies later… boba starts to realize that maybe going along with every adult who is vaguely nice to him is NOT a good game plan.

these types of lessons repeat and escalate until boba’s general approach to interacting with adults seems to be to assume malicious intent until proven otherwise. which, tbh, usually serves him well. in fact, by the time he’s established at jabba’s palace (which is when he’s like… somewhere between 12-14 maybe?), his strategy has evolved into “pre-emptively come across as a murderous, unhinged little shit to prevent future fuckery.” which means this adolescent child is walking around jabba’s palace threatening to get people killed and openly displaying a pair of severed hands in his rucksack.

don'tcha love character development

all that said, boba reverts to being a friendly, playful kid when in the company of people he trusts. in jabba’s palace, this means the cooks of kitchen 7: a father and daughter who boba inadvertently reunited after killing the guy who kidnapped and enslaved the latter. though lowly palace servants, these two are basically boba’s lifeline in jabba’s palace, providing him with food, gear, and palace gossip, not to mention much-needed companionship.

bitty!boba is an excellent melee fighter. he spends the majority of the books unarmed facing off against adult opponents with weapons. bc he’s not yet at the stage where he can overpower them with physical strength/weaponry, he instead defeats them by being a small, fast-moving target who WILL use whatever random objects are in his immediate vicinity to disarm/blind/distract/take down whoever’s trying to kill him.

a sampling of items bitty!boba uses as weapons, off the top of my head: a small table. a light fixture. a squid kebab. a rock. one day he’ll be so heavily armed that even his knees can launch projectiles, but until then, he makes do.

he also bites at least one person. ya do what you gotta do.

on a related note: the kid is impulsive af. that time he bit someone? he had a knife to his throat at the time but he still went CHOMP. aurra sing steals slave I? HE JUMPS OFF A BUILDING TO GET IT BACK. count dooku tries to confine him to quarters? HE ATTEMPTS TO BLACKMAIL THAT BITCH. jabba just tried to trick him into indentured servitude? BOBA YELLS AT HIM IN FRONT OF HIS ENTIRE COURT. honestly this impulsivity gets boba INTO trouble just as often as it gets him out of it.

overall, despite being raised by a very morally ambiguous individual on a backdrop of organized crime, bitty!boba’s defining feature is that he still genuinely tries to a good person, even if his moral perspective is a little skewed. at times, he really seems to think that a good bounty hunter should be something like a superhero—that, ideally, it means not only taking out unquestionably bad people but also helping those that they would harm. in fact, from the first book, he envisions himself not just as a hunter but a protector and rescuer as well. of course, he kind of loses the plot as he gets older, but… at least it looks like tbobf!boba might be getting back on that train!

Human Observation Log 53

Several crewmates have witnessed Human Carter thanking the automatic doors and food replicators, as well as apologizing to a table after running into it. When asked why they did such a thing, Human Carter said it was because they’re ‘Canadian’. Human Rielly informed me that Canadians are part of a religious sect that worship inanimate objects. The offerings made to the silicon fern now make much more sense.

Carter’s Journal: entry 89

I accidentally apologized to the table again after running into it. I don’t know why I keep running into it but it’s driving me crazy. Next time I might just kick it out of spite. Several crewmates have started thanking the replicator, which I think is actually very sweet of them. I’m still feeding the plant in the Galley. Jonson thinks it’s weird but I swear that thing is actually an alien. The food disappears every time and I’m not about to be eaten by a carnivorous fern several hundred lightyears away from home. If I wanted that I would have stayed stationed on Galzabab.

Rielly's Journal: Entry 92.

So I have about half the crew converted to Canadianism and the other half mimicking Carter out of respect for his beliefs. I can’t wait to see what happens when Carter finally loses it and breaks the table. I’ve been moving it a little every day. They still think the plastic fern is alive too. I’ve been eating all the offerings and today Jonson tried to explain that it was plastic and not an alien and half the Galley started yelling at them for challenging Carter’s beliefs. Jonson just sat there gobsmacked for a good ten minutes. Another great day in space.

i am pretty much chronically sleep deprived. (college+insomnia+poor life choices.) today i dropped at around ten in the morning from sheer exhaustion. woke up around eleven in the evening, and i have so. much. energy.

it's like a sugar high, a caffeine high, and maybe a bit of an adrenaline rush all mixed together. and it's still going.

i have showered, washed my sheets, cleaned up my side of the room, have another load of laundry going, i'm considering starting a paper that's not due for a month, i cannot stop smiling!?!?! i am in the kind of cheerful, happy-go-lucky mood that i can't remember experiencing before high school. i am alone (unless you count my sleeping roommate) and perfectly content to work in the dim light from my desk lamp, i'm in comfy clothes but not sleepy, i'm not cold or maudlin or homesick or anxious

IS THIS HOW NORMAL PEOPLE FEEL ALL THE TIME?!?!?!?!?!?!?

tldr, I AM ON A SLEEP HIGH

Hey. Why isn’t the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isn’t that fucked up? Does anyone else think that’s absurd?