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Life Hack!!

Did you know that instead of saying "his or her" when you're unsure of a person's pronouns, you can just use these wonderful things called "gender neutral pronouns"?! It's true! By substituting the word "their" for "his or her", not only do you save yourself more energy due to the significantly smaller amount of syllables, but you'll also include EVERY person, not just those that are male or female. Studies show that people who utilize this life hack are 79.43% less of an ass, and those around them are 89.38% less hurt or belittled!

A 2012 excavation in Turkey revealed a 2,000-year-old mosaic that features a super-chill skeleton reclining next to some wine, bread, and the inscription ‘Be cheerful, live your life.’ Source Source 2

Museum of Living Statues Pt. 2

TRIGGER WARNING: Character death, manipulation, and creepy ending.

This was my final project for my creative writing class, and I was pleased with how it turned out, so please enjoy!

That weekend I found myself outside the door of the Museum of Living Statues. I looked down at the flyer that my parents had forced into my hands a couple of days ago. Once inside, I was promptly greeted by a pleasant worker.

“Hello, and welcome to the Museum of Living Statues! Ticket purchases are right down this hallway and to the right,” They held their left arm out straight as a gesture, “and the application room for aspiring models is around the corner and through the door.” They stuck out their other arm in the same manner, and I hesitated.

“Um, I’m here to apply as a… model, I guess.” I said sheepishly, and their smile widened.

“Perfect! If you just head through the door marked for modeling, then someone will be right with you to help begin your application. Have fun, beautiful!” They flashed their strikingly perfect teeth as they continued to hold both their arms straight out from their previous gestures.

“Yeah, thank you.” I nodded at them hesitantly and headed around the corner. The door was very large and purple, and the sign read ‘Modeling Briefing’. I tried the sturdy metal handle, but it was locked. I knocked loudly and hurt my hand on the surprisingly hard metal door. As soon as I stopped my knocking someone yanked the door open and I came face to face with the most beautiful person I had ever seen. I could feel my face growing hotter and a lump formed in my throat. Just as I began to seriously consider turning and running away, they smiled a heavenly smile and clasped my hands in theirs.

“Hello, dear! Are you here to apply to become a model?” Their voice was like velvet, and my knees began to shake.

“Uh, that’s what I came here for, but...” I swallowed to try and clear the lump that had doubled in size. “but, uh, I’m not sure if I can.” They furrowed their brow and let go of my hands, which then dropped heavily to my sides.

“There’s no reason to worry, dear. We are willing to work with models of all levels of experience!”

“No, I mean, uh, I don’t exactly look like the typical model.” I said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Their confused expression sharply changed into that of amusement.

“Oh, now that’s just silly. Your face is very handsome, not to mention your height! You’re perfectly suited for modelling work, and I won’t hear any more complaints!” They flashed a smile and took my hand once more, leading me into the large open room.

Chances are, what are all of those people doing on their phones? Playing games? Sending texts? Checking SOCIAL media? How anti-SOCIAL of them.

Modern technology is making us anti-social!

Moonlight and a shootingstar, Mallorca

js

Museum of Living Statues Pt. 5

TRIGGER WARNING: Character death, manipulation, and creepy ending.

This was my final project for my creative writing class, and I was pleased with how it turned out, so please enjoy!

I heard a click and the hum of the suction coming from the machine, and I attempted to breath steadily through my nose to calm myself down. As I breathed out slowly, I took in a massive gulp of air as the hose was suddenly shoved down my throat. I gagged reflexively and my eyes shot open just in time to see the receptionist calmly flip a second switch on the machine and almost instantly my vision went blurry as a thick, acrid liquid flooded down my esophagus. Instinctively I attempted to breathe and only managed to change the course of the liquid as it flowed into my windpipes, then my lungs. The receptionist glanced up at me in my state of panic and clicked their tongue.

“Now dear, I thought I told you to close your eyes. You wouldn’t want to burn them, would you? That would be awfully painful.” They reached up to the steaming hot bucket positioned over me, and gave the chain dangling from it a swift yank. I shut my eyes just in time before the boiling hot wax covered my entire body, not that shutting my eyes helped protect myself from the unimaginable pain that followed. As I attempted to scream, the shooting, burning sensation in my chest and throat intensified and the liquid spluttered as I choked and gagged. The burning hot wax now sat on my skin, and when I attempted to open my eyes I found that they had been glued shut by the thick substance. My mind began to grow fuzzy and I felt myself drifting, unable to see, feel, smell, or taste anything other than the foul liquid. My ears strained to hear anything through the thick wax that now clogged them. I felt pressure on my left cheek and heard a soft voice speak to me.

“There there my dear, that wasn’t so hard was it?” they cooed, their voice lulling me into the sleep that my body was calling for, “Look how beautiful you are!”

“Welcome, everyone, to the grand opening of our new exhibit!” The receptionist spread their arms open wide, and their smooth voice rang through the crowd. “This new collection is based off of simple, everyday people, just like all of you! Now, without further ado.” They held up their scissors, and made a spectacle of cutting the red ribbon that marked the entrance to the new exhibit. The crowd applauded, and people began to pour in to appreciate the detailed wax figures. In particular, there was one pair of people with pudgy bellies and crooked teeth who stood out from the rest. While the rest of the crowd took their time looking around them at the beautiful figures that all wore similar expressions of terror, this couple shoved through the crowd while looking around wildly.

“There, honey! I found it!” The woman said to her partner as she ran ahead, coming to a halt in front of a statue wearing an expression of sorrow. The mother paused, cupping her hand over her mouth as she struggled not to cry. Her partner caught up and rested their hand comfortingly upon her shoulder. The mother reached up to stroke the beautiful waxy cheek that once belonged to her child, while the receptionist watched closely from among the crowd.

“I’m so sorry, sweetie.” The mother said as a tear escaped down her cheek. “But Jesse really wants braces.”

I don’t really think anyone has read this, but it still makes me feel good to have something I’m proud of out there in the open, and hopefully at least one person cares. Thank you for reading!

Sleepy Thoughts #4

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

12:17 AM: I have an irrational fear of sleeping anywhere near midnight because I’m afraid the ghosties are gonna come into my room, so it’s around this time that I’m in a constant state of fear and can’t sleep.

I have a vivid memory of the first day of fourth grade when I walked into Ms. Sanchez’s English class and, upon finding my name tag on my new desk, I stopped and thought to myself, “Well, this is the desk that will be mine for the whole entire year”. At that moment in time, the end of the school year just seemed so far away, and the time that I was to spend at that desk would last an eternity. It was during the following summer that I finally remembered that moment I had, and I realized that it felt like just yesterday that I was assigned that desk, and the school year had flown by before I could notice it. That got me thinking about the first day of school and the end of summer, but I quickly dismissed these thoughts because hey, summer had just begun, and the first day of school was an eternity away, right?

Time is a bitch.

New article on Ravishly!

It’s starting to feel like everyone is getting into relationships. When the whole world is getting into “Summer Lovin” mode and you’re on your own, it can be hard not to feel like you’re missing out on something.

Well, that’s why I’m here. Here’s “5 Things To Do When You Feel Bad About Being Single.”

Solar System: Things to Know This Week

In addition to the Mercury transit of the sun today, there are a few other things you should know about our solar system this week:

1. Mars, Ready for its Close-Up

Mars will soon be closer to Earth than it has been for 11 years, presenting a great opportunity for backyard sky watchers.

2. Fire and Ice

Our spacecraft have an even closer view of Mars, and that fact regularly leads to some intriguing discoveries. The latest: volcanoes may have erupted beneath an ice sheet there billions of years ago. The above image is a mineral map of part of the Martian surface.

3. Icy Hydra

Meanwhile, our New Horizons spacecraft has sent home the first compositional data about Pluto’s four small moons. The new data show the surface of Hydra is dominated by nearly pristine water ice–confirming hints that scientists picked up in images showing Hydra’s highly reflective surface.

4. Ceres, Ever Sharper

The mission director for our Dawn mission writes, “Ceres, which only last year was hardly more than a fuzzy blob against the stars, is now a richly detailed world, and our portrait grows more elaborate every day.”

5. Join us at Jupiter

Our Juno mission arrives at the giant planet on Jul. 4. Meanwhile, all amateur astronomers are invited to take part in a worldwide effort to identify potential observations for the spacecraft to make once it’s in orbit. Find out how to join HERE.

Want to learn more? Read our full list of the 10 things to know this week about the solar system HERE.

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space: http://nasa.tumblr.com

(via njkerosky)