Eeeeeeismeee - E

a friend told me I'm one of the skinniest people she knows

I don't know if she meant it though, so I'm feeling really conflicted about it, because for one, I want to feel incredibly happy about it, but then I know what my scale says, and what my thighs look like... But maybe she was just talking about my waist.

I relapsed into sh again, after having been clean for about 15 days

Usually I manage to go about a month clean before urges get too bad

And I did my arm for the first time (I usually only do my legs)

So yeah

I only quit because I have to take swimming classes at school and they're the absolute worst

Okay. Just because I've always been fat or chubby or "average" doesn't mean it has to stay this way forever.

One look in the mirror - and I mean a proper look, not just catching a glimpse of my reflection walking by, no, I mean fully inspecting my body for 5-10 minutes really gets me questioning everything, but it's one of the most motivating things ever, honestly.

Meanspo?

Don't need that, my siblings made me in the Sims, realistically 😃🔫

on that note

while going over your calories is not necessarily a binge, you do not get to decide what binging is for other people!

i’ve seen comments saying “not even 2000 calories is a binge” dude. it’s not about numbers. you can’t put a number on restriction - someone can be anorexic at 0 calories, at 200, at 800, at 1000, at 3000+ because it’s not about the numbers that you eat, it’s your mindset

binging is uncontrollable eating, past the point of fullness, into the point of pain, but it can also be mindless, thoughtless over eating when you don’t want to eat

numbers do not make up your binge. don’t think that because you didn’t reach a certain amount of calories, doesn’t mean you didn’t binge. same as restricting. just because someone went further, doesn’t mean you didn’t go at all

My class will go on a one week sailing trip in summer, so we're practicing what we'll cook and stuff, starting tomorrow - and I'm so scared. There's no way I'll eat at school, and even though it's kind of established between my friends and I that I just won't eat, what should I tell my teachers or other class mates if they ask?

I could go to the bathroom for a while once it's eating time, but what other things are there?

Please give some kind of advice guys 🥲

sometimes I just sit there having imaginary conversations in my head whilst making little gestures and expressions, and sometimes I don't even realize

I must look like such an idiot then lol

I feel like I know every single weightloss hack to ever exist but still fail to lose weight

freedom is being in charge of your own destruction