Never getting over how accurate this meme was đ
me after opening tumblr to those spam porn bots posts when all i wanted to do was read a silly ass fanfic:
STOP PUTTING JAKE FICS UNDER JOHNNIE TAGS âźď¸âźď¸âźď¸âźď¸
Saw Barbie. More horse themed than I expected
byler nation waking up today after one (1) grainy photo of finn wolfhard looking like a fuckin nerd
Reads a fanfic: that was good, I'll leave a kudos
AO3: You have already left kudos here
Me:
LOOK AT HIM
family: âwhy are you just sitting in ur room smiling at ur phone?â
me whoâs been reading smut about fictional characters for the past 6 hours:
i wanna be saveddd
Falling in love: 1-30
Living together: 31-45
Weddings/proposals: 46-57
Married life: 58-70
Pregnancy: 71-85
Parenting: 86-101
001 "You're really soft."
002 "You smell nice."
003 "I'm here for my daily fix of hugs and kisses."
004 "Is it possible to love too much?"
005 "I don't wanna get up-- you're comfy."
006 "I will always be there protect you."
007 "I'm cold. Come closer."
008 "I love you a lot, but please stop trying to cook me dinner, you suck.â
009 "The stars look especially lovely tonight."
010 "I've never seen such gorgeous eyes before."
011 "May I have this dance?"
012 "I can't stop thinking about you."
013 "You'll never feel alone with me by your side."
014 "Let's get to know each other over dinner."
015 "All I want is you."
016 "I could never leave you, I love you too much!"
017 "A fairytale with a happy ending always brings a smile to my face."
018 "I want to hear you sing."
019 "I don't think anyone could ever be as lovely as you."
020 "You look incredible in that."
021 "He/She's quite stunning, isn't he/she?"
022 "Sometimes I just can't control myself when around you."
023 "Do you believe in love at first sight?"
024 "I think I'm in love."
025 "Iâd like it if you stayed.
026 "People are jerks, but not you."
027 "I'll share the blankets with you."
028 "I have never felt this way about anyone."
029 "I want this to never end..."
030 "Can I kiss you?"
031 "I waxed the floors, grab your fluffy socks."
032 "Who changed the thermostat settings? Iâm freezing to death."
033 "Can we just watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch?"
034 "You can put your cold feet on me."
035 "Your stray red item turned my whites pink."
036 "A thunderstorm is rolling through town and youâre scared of lightening/thunder so Iâll protect you."
037 "There was a power outage and now we have to have dinner by candlelight."
038 "Rock Paper Scissors to see who has to go talk to the neighbors upstairs for being too loud."
039 "I just came home to you crying while watching a movie, please tell me whatâs going on."
040 "Our AC is out and itâs the middle of the summer."
041 "You found me crying on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night surrounded by a shattered jelly jar."
042 "My parents are coming over in 10 minutes so please put some clothes on"
043 "Weâre repainting the apartment and going to the hardware store together to pick out color swatches."
044 "IF YOU USE UP ALL THE HOT WATER ONE MORE TIME IM GOING TO BAN YOU TO THE COUCH FOR A MONTH."
045 "Weâre watching Toy Story 3 and we canât stop crying."
046 "I caught the bouquet"
047 "My ex just invited me to their wedding and I need you to be my date so it doesnât look like Iâve spent the last few years failing to get over them."
048 "We accidentally got married in Vegas oops"
049 "Iâm really drunk, please help me get safely out of the way so I donât ruin our friendâs wedding."
050 "I planned out this super romantic proposal and you just ruined it by beating me to whole proposing thing."
051 "I wasnât planning on asking you, but it appeared to me that life is short. Will you marry me? "
052 "If you shove cake in my face this will be the worst wedding night of your life."
053 "Do you take this man/woman to be your lawfully wedded husband/wife? "
054 "May I have this dance, wife/husband? "
055 "Youâre the best thing thatâs ever happened to me. Iâm so happy I can finally call you my wife/husband."
056 "I jokingly told you that the only way Iâd marry you was if you did this weird outlandish thing, and you actually did it, and Iâm kind of charmed."
057 "This is probably a bad time, but marry me?"
058 "Weâve become the clingy newlyweds you always complained about. "
059 "Your âmiracle hangover cureâ couldnât possibly beat mine."
060 "I know you havenât had the best experience with dogs in the past but look at its face please please can we keep it?"
061 "I wanted to surprise you for our anniversary, but everything that could go wrong, did go wrong."
062 "I beat you at Mario Kart and now you're banishing me to the couch for the night?â
063 "I surprised you with tickets to see our favorite band⌠WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU SURPRISED ME WITH TICKETS TO SEE THEM TOO?"
064 "I know we had a big fight but we still need to decorate the house for the holidays."
065 "Oh! Hey! Could you come and taste this to see if it's okay?"
066 "Weâre arguing over book versus movie."
067 "I came home to a Nerf gun on the front porch and a note that says âHere is your weapon. I have one too. Loser cooks dinner. Good luck. xoâ"
068 "Weâve been celebrating our wedding anniversary on the wrong day for the past nine years."
069 "You had a business trip and I missed you so much that I kind of tore up the house in your absence like a dog with separation anxiety⌠sorry?"
070 "We both have nowhere else to be so we get to spend our rare day off at home."
071 "I bet itâs a girl/boy."
072 "Do you think itâs possible that IâŚmight be⌠pregnant? "
073 "I thought I was pregnant but the test must have been wrong. Iâm not. "
074 "Youâre lucky Iâm pregnant!"
075 "Can you help me up, your child is pretty heavy."
076 "I could really use a foot rub right now."
077 "Your dad is really excited to meet you soon, itâs driving me crazy."
078 "Do you wanna know the sex of the baby?"
079 "The babyâs kicks are keeping me up at night."
080 "Did you feel that?"
081 "I canât fit into my favorite dress anymore. "
082 "OH MY GOD IâM GOING INTO LABOR. WHAT DO WE DO NOW?!
083 "I canât be pregnant⌠orâŚ.OH MY GOD! "
084 "I think you might be pregnant.â
085 "Itâs 2 am but youâre craving cake and weâre both up anyway so letâs bake in our underwear."
086 "I knew it was a mistake to get the twins matching clothes."
087 "ShâŚtheyâre asleep."
088 "I think someone had a little accident with the finger paint."
089 "Mondays are your diaper days."
090 "Our kid is totally the one who wanted to build a pillow fort, not me."
091 "OohâŚsomeoneâs got a tummy ache."
092 "Are you sure you donât want me to drop them off myself? I donât think you could handle seeing them off alone."
093 "I told you we should have just gotten that German Shepherd puppy."
094 "What do you think for their punishment? Grounding? No video games? No going out for a week?"
095 "MmâŚyour kid before five in the morning."
096 "Come on now, I think youâre being too harsh. He/sheâs just a kid. Remember all of the stupid things we used to do when we were their age?"
097 "So, how should we break the news that theyâre going to have a new baby brother or sister?"
098 "I think we should have another."
099 "Why wasnât I invited to your wedding?"
100 "Okay fine, one more story, but then you really have to go to bed."
101 "âŚThey just grow up so fast."
capital B, capital O, capital A, capital F- BOAF! both? BOAF!!!!!!!