Very Real, So True, Super Relatable

byler nation waking up today after one (1) grainy photo of finn wolfhard looking like a fuckin nerd

Smut prompts

1 ] “Don’t act innocent when we all know where your mouth was two minutes ago”

2 ] “Is there any space left in that bathtub?”

3 ] “Your shirt got a little dirty, how about we take it off?”

4 ] “Come on, you have to work for it.”

5 ] “Louder, I want them to hear you.”

6 ] “You’re not going out in that.”

7 ] “I’m not wearing any underwear, thought you’d want to know.”

8 ] “Let me give you a reason to stay in bed.”

9 ] “No panties.”

10 ] “Don’t make me take you home and punish you.”

11 ] “Like what you see?”

12 ] “Try to stay quiet, understand?”

13] “Don’t kink shame me!”

14 ] “Tell me what you want.”

15 ] “You taste like fucking candy.”

16 ] “The only way you’re getting off is on my thigh.”

17 ] “I haven’t even touched you and you’re already this wet.”

18 ] “We’re not just friends and you fucking know it!”

19 ] “If we get caught I’m blaming you.”

20 ] “I’m gonna fuck you so hard you’ll forget you ever met that asshole.”

21 ] “She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but i bet behind closed doors shes all latex and whips.”

22 ] “Were you touching yourself?”

23 ] “Please remind me again why we’re having sex behind a tree?”

24 ] “I know for a fact you can be a lot louder than that.”

25 ] “We’ve been at it like rabbits, how are you still horny?!”

26 ] “You think you can just run that pretty mouth of yours whenever you want?!”

27 ] “Can you hep me with this zipper.”

28 ] “Oh, don’t mind me, just enjoying the view.”

29 ] “It’s been a long day, why don’t we help each other umwind?”

30 ] “I saw that! You just checked me out!”

31 ] “Strip.”

32 ] “Can you help me with this zipper?”

33 ] “I can please you in more ways than one.”

34 ] “Let me show you why you should stay in bed.”

35 ] “Take me.”

36 ] “Make me.”

37 ] “Hurt me.”

38 ] “I see you’ve started without me.”

38 ] “Wanna taste?”

39 ] “You’re so big!”

40 ] “Don’t be so rough…there can’t be any marks.”

41 ] “What are you wearing?”

42 ]“I love when you say my name like that.”

43 ] “I want you, so bad.”

44 ] “Oh? No panties?”

45 ] “First one to moan loses.”

46 ] “Do you forgive me?”

47 ]“I’m still mad at you.”

48 ] “Mine.”

49 ] “I love seeing you like this.”

50 ] “Let me take care of you.”

51 ] “Bend over.”

52 ] “Can we try something new?”

53 ] “Are you serious? Here? Now??”

54 ] “Do you like it? I bought it just for you..”

55 ] “Beg for it.”

56 ] “I need you.”

57 ] “I love you.”

58 ] “I hate you.”

59 ] “I’m your Master and you will do what I say.”

60 ] “I’ll have to gag you if you don’t keep it down.”

61 ] “Last night was amazing.”

62 ] “You’re so cute when you’re tired.”

63 ] “Is that a challenge?”

64 ] “Don’t mind me, I’m just enjoying the view.”

65 ] “You like that, don’t you?”

66 ] “I’m sure we can put those lips to better use.”

67 ] “Don’t leave me.”

68 ] “Let me hold you.”

69 ] *self explanatory* hehe

70 ] “Can I cum in you?”

71 ] “Please cum in me!”

72 ] “Make love to me.”

73 ] “Don’t close your eyes.”

74 ] “Say it like you mean it.”

75 ] “Love me now, touch me now.”

76 ] “Deeper…deeper.”

77 ] “Close the door now.”

78 ] “It’s alright…show me.”

79 ] “You’re beautiful, my goddess.”

80 ] “I’m gonna mess you up.”

Eddie Munson Headcannons

Warnings: Some of these head cannons WILL include some NSFW stuff so if that makes you uncomfortable please scroll. They will be in red. Mentions of abuse (no descriptions just saying his dad abused him)

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This man LOVES thighs. Like not even in a sexual way (the majority of the time). You could be sitting next to him and his hand is on your thigh, rubbing his thumb back and forth. Wearing shorts? He’s staring at your thighs. And don’t even get me started on if you have thigh tattoos. He’d be so fixated on them 24/7.

He definitely changes from talking normally to talking in his dnd storytelling voice in the matter of seconds. It’s probably not even intentional, like if he’s telling someone about his day this man would reenact it all out, doing different voices and all.

He feels the need to nurture the kids like a parent because he didn’t have any good parental figures (obvs except wayne. #waynelover) and he doesn’t want the kids to be in the same place.

I feel like he would always bring spare snack to hellfire just incase someone was hungry. Like he’d subconsciously hold it out if someone even whispers that they’re hungry.

Dustin: I’m kinda hun-

Eddie: *holding a cereal bar out whilst still reading*

I feel like Eddie LOVES to both praise and degrade you. Like during sex he will have the filthiest mouth ever but after he will more or less worship you.

He would be the kinkiest person even. Those handcuffs aren’t on his wall for no reason and let’s be honest… we all know what those stains are.

Wayne and his relationship is very affectionate but in a hidden way. Like they never have physical contact with each other but would 100% chat and smoke together late at night.

Eddie doesn’t label himself, he’ll fuck anything that breathes. Men? Absolutely! Women? He’ll be more than happy!

I think Eddie keeps his hair long because his dad used to make him buzz it because long hair was too “girly” and made Eddie “gay”. So now Eddie keeps it long not only to upkeep his metal head look, but to spite his dad.

Eddie is down to try anything once. Cant knock until you try is his thoughts. He’ll be up to me dominated too. Like do I picture Eddie being a top? Yes. But i think if he’s in the right mood anything can happen yk? As I said. He’s kinky.

Eddie is just always scared and self conscious, that’s where his “mr. idontcare” demeanour comes from. He thinks that if he’s overly confident he can trick himself into actuallh being confident.

I don’t actually know if this is canon or canon but his love for LOTR is insane. He probably doesn’t read a whole lot but he will read that book at least once a month. It goes hand in hand with his love for everything fantasy related.

He always loved to play dnd because it was an escape from his reality. It gave him somewhere that wasn’t his actual life. Away from the abuse from his dad and all.

Eddie isn’t too confident in relationships at first. He’lol be a nervous wreck secretly, overthinking all of his decisions, is he moving too fast or too slow? Are you doing this as a dare? Should he hold your hand? But once he gets comfortable near you he is SUPER clingy. Like this man is joined at your hip. Everywhere you are, he is sure to follow.

Breeding

Pairing: Steve x f!reader

Warnings: Not going to list as it’s obvious lmao. Pronouns not used i think.

Word count: 359

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Steve had come home about half an hour ago and hadn’t let you go since which has led to the compromising position you’re currently in, Steve pounding into your wet pussy. The musky cologne filling your nostrils was enough to send you over the edge.

“Fuck you feel so good wrapped around my dick.”

His words made you melt and made your pussy throb. He had made you cum twice already and knowing him there was more where that came from.

“Feel good baby?”, Steve asked almost sounding pitiful and your state. Cock drunk and moaning. You could only nod at his question.

“Words honey. Use your words.”

“God Steve yes! You feel so fucking good inside of me.” His dick hit that sweet spot inside of you, making you moan so loud you were sure the entire neighbourhood could hear. The hand not being used to hold himself up comes to paw at your breasts, long fingers softly dragging over your sensitive nipples, his mouth wrapped around the other, tongue flicking over the hardened bud making you whine at the pleasure.

After a moment, he takes his mouth and hand off of your breasts. A string of saliva connecting his soft lips to your chest. Both of his hands move to your waist to gently pull you up off of the mattress slightly, his cock starting to set a brutal pace as he pulled your body into him with every thrust. His movements had you a moaning, crying mess.

“Oh god- Yes Steve! Fuck!”

“Gonna fill this pretty cunt up with my cum.”

“Please Steve!”

You could feel the knot in your stomach about to snap.

“Steve i’m gonna cum!”

“Cum. Cum for me baby. Cum around my cock.”

After a thrust or two, your body was writhing in ecstasy, cum covering his buried dick.

“Shit! Can feel you throbbing around me.”

His thrusts became sloppy very quickly after that, pulling you into him harsher. Soon after feeling his hot seed spurting inside of you, filling you up.

He slowly pulls out and replaces his dick with his fingers.

“Cant have any coming out now can we sweetheart?”

does he think being this sexy is okay. what the fuck is his problem.

family: “why are you just sitting in ur room smiling at ur phone?”

me who’s been reading smut about fictional characters for the past 6 hours:

Fluff prompts

Falling in love: 1-30

Living together: 31-45

Weddings/proposals: 46-57

Married life: 58-70

Pregnancy: 71-85

Parenting: 86-101

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001 "You're really soft."

002 "You smell nice."

003 "I'm here for my daily fix of hugs and kisses."

004 "Is it possible to love too much?"

005 "I don't wanna get up-- you're comfy."

006 "I will always be there protect you."

007 "I'm cold. Come closer."

008 "I love you a lot, but please stop trying to cook me dinner, you suck.”

009 "The stars look especially lovely tonight."

010 "I've never seen such gorgeous eyes before."

011 "May I have this dance?"

012 "I can't stop thinking about you."

013 "You'll never feel alone with me by your side."

014 "Let's get to know each other over dinner."

015 "All I want is you."

016 "I could never leave you, I love you too much!"

017 "A fairytale with a happy ending always brings a smile to my face."

018 "I want to hear you sing."

019 "I don't think anyone could ever be as lovely as you."

020 "You look incredible in that."

021 "He/She's quite stunning, isn't he/she?"

022 "Sometimes I just can't control myself when around you."

023 "Do you believe in love at first sight?"

024 "I think I'm in love."

025 "I’d like it if you stayed.

026 "People are jerks, but not you."

027 "I'll share the blankets with you."

028 "I have never felt this way about anyone."

029 "I want this to never end..."

030 "Can I kiss you?"

031 "I waxed the floors, grab your fluffy socks."

032 "Who changed the thermostat settings? I’m freezing to death."

033 "Can we just watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch?"

034 "You can put your cold feet on me."

035 "Your stray red item turned my whites pink."

036 "A thunderstorm is rolling through town and you’re scared of lightening/thunder so I’ll protect you."

037 "There was a power outage and now we have to have dinner by candlelight."

038 "Rock Paper Scissors to see who has to go talk to the neighbors upstairs for being too loud."

039 "I just came home to you crying while watching a movie, please tell me what’s going on."

040 "Our AC is out and it’s the middle of the summer."

041 "You found me crying on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night surrounded by a shattered jelly jar."

042 "My parents are coming over in 10 minutes so please put some clothes on"

043 "We’re repainting the apartment and going to the hardware store together to pick out color swatches."

044 "IF YOU USE UP ALL THE HOT WATER ONE MORE TIME IM GOING TO BAN YOU TO THE COUCH FOR A MONTH."

045 "We’re watching Toy Story 3 and we can’t stop crying."

046 "I caught the bouquet"

047 "My ex just invited me to their wedding and I need you to be my date so it doesn’t look like I’ve spent the last few years failing to get over them."

048 "We accidentally got married in Vegas oops"

049 "I’m really drunk, please help me get safely out of the way so I don’t ruin our friend’s wedding."

050 "I planned out this super romantic proposal and you just ruined it by beating me to whole proposing thing."

051 "I wasn’t planning on asking you, but it appeared to me that life is short. Will you marry me? "

052 "If you shove cake in my face this will be the worst wedding night of your life."

053 "Do you take this man/woman to be your lawfully wedded husband/wife? "

054 "May I have this dance, wife/husband? "

055 "You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m so happy I can finally call you my wife/husband."

056 "I jokingly told you that the only way I’d marry you was if you did this weird outlandish thing, and you actually did it, and I’m kind of charmed."

057 "This is probably a bad time, but marry me?"

058 "We’ve become the clingy newlyweds you always complained about. "

059 "Your ‘miracle hangover cure’ couldn’t possibly beat mine."

060 "I know you haven’t had the best experience with dogs in the past but look at its face please please can we keep it?"

061 "I wanted to surprise you for our anniversary, but everything that could go wrong, did go wrong."

062 "I beat you at Mario Kart and now you're banishing me to the couch for the night?”

063 "I surprised you with tickets to see our favorite band… WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU SURPRISED ME WITH TICKETS TO SEE THEM TOO?"

064 "I know we had a big fight but we still need to decorate the house for the holidays."

065 "Oh! Hey! Could you come and taste this to see if it's okay?"

066 "We’re arguing over book versus movie."

067 "I came home to a Nerf gun on the front porch and a note that says ‘Here is your weapon. I have one too. Loser cooks dinner. Good luck. xo’"

068 "We’ve been celebrating our wedding anniversary on the wrong day for the past nine years."

069 "You had a business trip and I missed you so much that I kind of tore up the house in your absence like a dog with separation anxiety… sorry?"

070 "We both have nowhere else to be so we get to spend our rare day off at home."

071 "I bet it’s a girl/boy."

072 "Do you think it’s possible that I…might be… pregnant? "

073 "I thought I was pregnant but the test must have been wrong. I’m not. "

074 "You’re lucky I’m pregnant!"

075 "Can you help me up, your child is pretty heavy."

076 "I could really use a foot rub right now."

077 "Your dad is really excited to meet you soon, it’s driving me crazy."

078 "Do you wanna know the sex of the baby?"

079 "The baby’s kicks are keeping me up at night."

080 "Did you feel that?"

081 "I can’t fit into my favorite dress anymore. "

082 "OH MY GOD I’M GOING INTO LABOR. WHAT DO WE DO NOW?!

083 "I can’t be pregnant… or….OH MY GOD! "

084 "I think you might be pregnant.”

085 "It’s 2 am but you’re craving cake and we’re both up anyway so let’s bake in our underwear."

086 "I knew it was a mistake to get the twins matching clothes."

087 "Sh…they’re asleep."

088 "I think someone had a little accident with the finger paint."

089 "Mondays are your diaper days."

090 "Our kid is totally the one who wanted to build a pillow fort, not me."

091 "Ooh…someone’s got a tummy ache."

092 "Are you sure you don’t want me to drop them off myself? I don’t think you could handle seeing them off alone."

093 "I told you we should have just gotten that German Shepherd puppy."

094 "What do you think for their punishment? Grounding? No video games? No going out for a week?"

095 "Mm…your kid before five in the morning."

096 "Come on now, I think you’re being too harsh. He/she’s just a kid. Remember all of the stupid things we used to do when we were their age?"

097 "So, how should we break the news that they’re going to have a new baby brother or sister?"

098 "I think we should have another."

099 "Why wasn’t I invited to your wedding?"

100 "Okay fine, one more story, but then you really have to go to bed."

101 "…They just grow up so fast."

I need Steddie to be Murrayed. Like I need them to be so obliviously in love that Murray is like those two boys? gay asf.

Cis people think trans people have this:

Deadname

Chosen name

But honestly we really have:

Name

Other name

Deadname

Business name

Old nickname only some people have rights to use

Online name

Extra special secret name you don’t get to know, unless… ;)