Eccentricechoes - Sunshine

I need to take a piss, brb

I wish someone could make me feel okay

Or, at least show me how to pack up all my burdens to deal with another day

I know no one owes me that, it's just nice to think about not having to take care of myself

Or to not be treated like a doll, treasured for mere moments, then left alone on a shelf

People often say "it's better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all"

But I don't believe that, when my love is held over me, used to make me feel small

Anaïs Nin, from a letter to Joaquin Nin, featured in Reunited: The Correspondence of Anais and Joaquin Nin, 1933-1940

I hate the snow

I need it to stop being cold and snowy so that I can loiter in parks, shops, and sidewalks, walk the half hour to the library and read about nothing, and dramatically watch the sunset and think about how much I hate myself

Update on that homework

I tried to focus for a few minutes, but then my cat started ripping up the fabric bins I use as a chest of drawers and took a massive shit. I guess she doesn't want me to do that analysis either

What a beautiful day to die

I keep seeing the same Tubi ad of this guy with a cowboy flesh hat for a head. I hate it here lol

I was assigned my scene and scene partners for class and it's from a play I never heard of with a classmate I never heard of. I'm so confused, who is this person and why wasn't the play mentioned in the syllabus?

I grow ever tired as my body fills with dread

I have that sinking feeling that I'd be better off dead

I see the world crash around me, and hate that I complain

Because avoiding homework is pathetic and lame

I worry about everyone, but there's nothing I can do

So I let myself indulge in the thoughts that just aren't true

That I'm pathetic and useless, that there's no one I can trust

And to do anything less than everything is morally unjust

Everybody keeps on talking, and I'm going insane

I feel like my teeth are rotting, and so is my brain

This school is full of some mind fuckery, chaotic online debauchery

My stomach knotted, brain rotted. I'm on the floor, a sniveling little mess

But there's no time to wallow, cause I've got work tomorrow. Will I go? It's anyone's guess