Captain Jack: I Wasn’t Going To Mention It. But You Look Like Her.

Here’s a happier thought: in another world, things are different.

Darth Vader takes one look at this feral fierce daughter of queens and politicians, this girl lying silver-tongued and spiteful to his face and thinks oh. And a heartbeat later he thinks Padme because this child looks so much like her, down to the imperious jut of her chin. And she looks like a boy he knew once, a boy called Anakin Skywalker, who was reckless and absurd and so strong with the Force that the universe buckled around him.

He says, “You are adopted, aren’t you,” and Leia’s eyebrows skyrocket.

“What relevance does that have,” she manages, “Lord Vader,” and Lord Vader would smile if he could. Instead he reaches down to touch her beautiful face; she flinches away, shows her teeth, and he feels his heart full up to bursting point.

He says, “None at all.”

Alderaan does not burn. Tarkin does though. He falls in two neat, sizzling halves.

“Um,” says Leia. Vader’s lightsabre burns red in her eyes.

“I’m no friend of the Emperor,” says Vader, says Anakin. And, “I knew your mother.” And then, because he’s Anakin Skywalker and planning has never been one of his strong suits, he offers her his hand.

“Come with me.”

“Will Alderaan be safe? My parents?”

My parents. Not by blood, but by choice, and that matters more.

“I will protect them,” says Anakin.

I’m dying... what the H-E double fuck is this

GUYS I FOUND THE ORIGINAL SCRIPT FOR THE LIGHTNING THIEF ON THE INTERNET (THE ONE THAT MADE RICK RIORDAN SO ANGRY) AND IT IS GOLD

A SVSSS fic I want to write one day is Airplane and Shen Yuan being ejected from the System and sent back to the mundane world, but with the difference that Shen Yuan's 'edits' to the story have been retroactively applied to PiDW and as a result it's gone from 'top story in a hyper specific web culture niche' to 'international sensation with a Netflix adaption in the works'.

Keyly, PiDW is still told largely from the PoV of Luo Binghe- so neither he nor the audience is at all aware that it's now Isekai story. Instead it's billed as this heady romantic drama about prejudice, the passage of time, and redemption- where a big part of the appeal is trying to piece together the otherwise enigmatic Shen Qingqiu's motives.

Was he harsh on Binghe initially because of he sensed/knew about Binghe's demon heritage (as it's now possible to find hints that he may have in fact known all along)? Or because he saw Binghe's potential and wanted to do the tough-love training thing? Or was it because he was trying to chase Binghe away from Cultivation because he knew it would lead Binghe to misery one day? Did he throw Binghe into the Abyss because he was genuinely shocked and disgusted by the Demon reveal? Or because he knew Binghe would be killed if he stayed and he was trying to 'protect' him? Or was it because he genuinely wanted Binghe to fulfill his demon Emperor destiny and thought a clean break would do it? The fandom has no idea but lovvvvvves arguing about it.

This all leads to things coming full circle, as Cucumber, sounding like an absolute insane person, is left to rant online about how the obvious answer is that Shen Qingqiu was Isekai'd earlier in the story and replaced by a completely different person- a theory which is mocked to the point of memery, and leads to Cucumber being dunked on endlessly, no matter how much evidence he brings up or how many essays he writes.

a short poem on loss. words by vomitingwords.tumblr

clone wrs season is upon us, ahsoka warriors we ride

The Master Plan

[the entire cast standing around in the ruins of Death Star II, aghast] Kylo: [whispers] …what the fuck. Lando: Seriously?! This guy? Again? Anakin’s Force Ghost: [furious] This makes no sense! I killed you! Me! The Chosen One! Just like the stupid prophecy said I would! Luke’s Force Ghost: Yeah, and I saw it happen with my own two eyes! And then the Death Star was destroyed! How could you possibly have – Sidious: [bored, examining his nails] Hmm? Survived? [chuckles] Well you see, you fools, I knew all of this was going to happen. It was all part of the plan. [yawns] Quite underwhelming, I’m afraid. I was hoping for a bit more of a challenge. Leia: What?! Sidious: [sighing] Oh very well: yes, it all goes back to when my Master and I used midi-chlorians to create life. [to Anakin] That’d be you, son. Then, of course, I figured we’d better see to it that he spent his first several years with his mother on Tatooine, forming an attachment and also developing many feelings about slavery, both of which I could use to manipulate him later. Anakin: What. [Two Hours Pass] Sidious: …do you have any idea how expensive it is to pay for a custom-built clone army AND cover the cost of the upkeep on a massive droid army at the same time, and keep tabs on where all the money is going? And also how annoying it is to have to manage all that while having to continually meet with Anakin, and be forced to listen to him blather on about Senator Amidala or General Kenobi for hours at a time, nodding and pretending I gave a bantha’s hide about his feelings!? Force, there were a couple of rough years in there, but I persevered because I knew – I knew – I was nearly one-fifteenth of the way through my plan… [Another three hours. Most of the cast is sitting down on the floor now, and a couple people have nodded off.] Sidious: …I knew that I couldn’t trust Vader any further than I could throw him – or perhaps, any further than he could throw me – so I ensured that, upon being thrown into the abyss, I would be able to keep myself from dying. [smirks] Yes, that’s right, Anakin, I did always know how to do it, I just wasn’t going to tell you… [Two more hours] Sidious: …Captain Solo would of course marry General Organa, and their birth control would fail at a precise, critical point in history, due to defective pharmaceuticals I had queued up to be released to market years before… [Two hours later] Sidious: …directed Supreme Leader Snoke to begin following the young Ben Solo on Twitter, knowing that he would be entirely impressed with Snoke’s – my – takes on democracy… [Three more hours later] Sidious: …thus leaving the New Republic in shambles. Then, of course, it would be only a matter of time before Luke would somewhat overcome his depression with the help of Master Yoda’s ghost, and die projecting himself across the galaxy in an attempt to stop Kylo and the First Order. [smirks] And then, and only then, would the time be right for my full return to the galactic stage. [cackles, shoots Force lightning into the air] Yoda: [scrubs his face with his hands] Rey: I…but how… Sidious: …did I know I could pull it off? My dear girl, it was all too easy. This galaxy is remarkably predictable. And not especially bright. And very easily confused. Especially the uh, male Skywalker contingent. [looks over at them pointedly] Luke: [building a daisy chain] Hmm? Anakin: [whispering, to Kylo] He’s talking about you. Obi-Wan: [facepalms]

criminal minds, s14: ep12

“what’s that abrasion on his forehead?”

“apparently he gave lewis a shove, and reid went a little cell block d on him.”

Imperial Snapchat

Imperial Snapchat. Admiral Piett is currently leading the contest.

Thanks for the wonderful idea, @kaelinaloveslomaris and @occasionalinanity

collection of posts for a very specific dynamic