A Few Great Films That Are Free On The Internet Archive

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The Dignity of Suffering in Silence: Snape as the Ghost of a Living Man

Severus Snape did not need to die to become a ghost. He already was one. Not in the dramatic sense—with clanking chains or flickering transparency—but in the far more tragic way:

He was present, but unreachable. He moved through the world, but nothing ever touched him back.

Not because he refused it. But because somewhere along the line, he decided he did not deserve to be held.

🕯 What Makes a Ghost?

It isn’t death. It’s what remains unfinished. A ghost is a person who still has something left behind—grief, guilt, longing—and no place to lay it down.

Snape had no grave for what he lost. No funeral for who he could have been. So he kept walking. Teaching. Protecting. Bleeding in silence.

He became a ghost of himself, not because he was weak, but because he had to keep going with no one to grieve him. Not even himself.

🕯 The Cost of Being Unheld

No one held Severus Snape. Not really. He wasn’t touched unless it was violence. He wasn’t spoken to unless it was demand.

He offered no softness because he received none.

And yet—he still gave. Still protected. Still fought for a future that would never welcome him.

He didn’t ask for kindness, because he believed that to do so would be indulgent. And indulgence was for the living.

🕯 He Did Not Haunt Hogwarts. He Haunted Himself.

Snape didn’t linger in the castle’s shadows because he was sinister. He did it because it was the only place where silence matched the volume in his mind.

He wasn’t afraid of the dark. The dark was quiet. The dark didn’t ask questions.

What haunted him was the memory of what he had done. What he failed to undo.

Every corridor was a past echo. Every student a reflection of someone he couldn’t save. He didn’t haunt Hogwarts. He haunted himself.

🕯 Silence Wasn’t Weakness. It Was Power.

He didn’t scream. He didn’t beg. He didn’t unravel in front of anyone.

Not because he couldn’t. Because he wouldn’t.

Snape held himself together out of strategy and survival. Because silence was the one thing Voldemort couldn’t extract, and Dumbledore couldn’t reshape. Because when the world gives you no permission to break, you learn how to endure beautifully.

🕯 The One Who Was Never Laid to Rest

There was no funeral—at least, none that was ever spoken of. No public farewell. Only a war, and then silence.

His portrait hangs at Hogwarts now—but it came later. After the world had rewritten the narrative enough to let him in. And even then, he does not speak from it. Not to us.

Legacy? Perhaps. But it feels uncertain—etched more in hesitation than celebration. His name, his work, his memory... handled like something delicate. Or dangerous. Not erased, but folded away, as if too many feared what it might reveal if honoured too loudly.

Perhaps that’s why he still lingers. Not in ghost-form. Not in frame. But in us.

In the ones who understand silence. Who dress in layers. Who never screamed, but should have.

He does not ask for mourning.

But he deserves to be seen.

He deserves to be laid to rest.

Even if it’s just whispered in quiet posts. Even if it’s just here.

JK Rowling took inspiration from his chemistry teacher to create Snape's character. In a long essay who talks about him the writer mentions his autism and makes a great parallel with Snape, it's very interesting.

I believe Snape is autistic

(FYI: I’m autistic myself and I have autistic children.)

He’s lonely. He doesn’t really have friends. We know of Lily, we also hear about Lucius Malfoy, but we don’t really see their friendship which in my opinion is much less close than fans believe. As a student he’s so alone that no one but Lily tries to stop the bullying.

He doesn’t participate in any social meetings. He’s quite miserable during the Christmas in Harry’s third year. He patrols the corridors and the grounds instead of attending the Yule Ball. He doesn’t stay for dinner after the Order meetings. He only attends the DE meetings because he has to.

His peers at school think he’s weird. Lily’s friends from Gryffindor don’t understand why she’s friends with him. When Harry asks why the Marauders bullied him, Sirius says he was different, weird, he was an "oddball". Autistic children and teenagers are often bullied because they are perceived as not normal, awkward, weird.

He doesn’t make a normal eye contact, he stares a bit too much. It can be partly explained by Legillimency, but he stared too much even as a teenager.

There’s a difference between how he speaks as a teenager and as an adult. It doesn’t sound entirely natural, he definitely had to put effort into that. It’s partly because he doesn’t want to sound like a poor man with a northern (?) accent, but autistic struggle with fluent communication may also be a reason.

He insists on precise definitions: Legilimency is not mind-reading, ghosts are not transparent but they are imprints of departed souls. He’s irritated that Harry has "no subtlety" and he doesn’t "understand fine distinctions".

He’s quite rude. He might be just *evil*, but he may just not fully understand how cruel he actually sounds. From his point of view he’s just honest and doesn’t beat around the bush. OK, maybe he’s a little mean, but not cruel… right?

He uses sarcasm (a lot of autistics actually do), but he doesn’t really appreciate Harry’s and other people’s sass, he treats their words too seriously.

He usually speaks coldly / calmly / without much emotion.

He’s usually dispassionate, he has limited facial expressions. Many autistic people also have a "resting b!tch face" unless they try to look more "normal". Perhaps he isn’t always as hateful as Harry thinks, perhaps it’s just his face.

He seems a little oblivious to other people’s emotional state and seems to analyse their behavior more intellectually.

He has special interests: Dark Arts / DADA and Potions.

He has his own collection of Potions ingredients, including rare ones, collection of weird jars (I guess they may contain some Potions ingredients, but also he may like them because of visual stimming aspect) and vast collection of books at home.

His Potions ingredients must be very orderly, he knows immediately that something is missing and what it is.

He "loves" rules. Students are breaking the rules? He takes points or gives detention. The Marauders are bullying him? He wants them expelled. (While Harry deals with the bullies on his own.) He’s caught Sirius whom he believes to be responsible for Lily’s death? He’s going to hand him over to the Ministry and the Dementors. (While Sirius and Remus want to murder Peter themselves.)

Since Snape likes rules and order, Harry who is a bit wild and unpredictable annoys him.

He doesn’t wash his hair as often as he should. It could be partly because of his poor background (he was neglected, he wasn’t taught to take a proper care of his hair, he didn’t even have a real bathroom as a child), partly because he has no one to look nice for, partly because of the Potions fumes. Autism might make him care less about his appearance. (He does care about hygiene though. Apparently he shaves regularly and Harry would certainly notice if Snape was dirty or smelly. His sallow skin and teeth have nothing to do with hygiene, it’s a result of his poverty and malnutrition.)

He stimms: He’s shredding leaves as a child. He’s flexing his fingers after the Shrieking Shack incident. During the Occlumency lessons he’s touching his lips with his finger while he’s thinking.

He has some sensory issues. He wears the same, a little baggy robes (they flutter as he walks). He’s sensitive to light: his Potions classroom is dim (it’s in the dungeons, but he could brighten it up with magic); he makes his DADA classroom dim, even though it’s no longer in the dungeons; when Harry comes to his first Occlumency lesson, Snape waits for him in a dark room. (You know, people don’t do things like that because they’re evil, it doesn’t make sense).

As a teenager he walks "like a spider" and generally he isn’t good at sports (we see him on a broom three times: in a memory of his unsuccessful flying lesson at school, being very pale and probably frightened after refereeing the Quidditch match in PS and trying to curse a DE and missing during the Battle of Seven Harrys).

John Nettleship whom Snape was partly based on was probably autistic.

I once sat in an Catholic Studies lecture where a professor argued in all seriousness that Snape, by the end, was the most moral person in the entire series. He based his case on this passage:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%205:43-48&version=NIV

Snape’s the only character who comes close to ‘love thy enemy’, because he’s sacrificed his life and reputation in order to aid those who despise him or have failed him. Most of the other characters are fighting because the people they love are at risk. He shows genuine remorse, and genuinely seeks to do better. I don’t know that I wholly agreed with the professor, but it was a compelling case. If you’re a consequentialist, Snape did far far more good than evil. Saving lives > being a bitch to toads and their owners.

Having studied my entire basic education in a Catholic school, I can say that from a Christian-Catholic moral perspective—one based on repentance but especially on penance as key pillars for earning a place in Heaven and reaching God—Severus fits perfectly as the ultimate example of the stray sheep who returns to the flock. He is the prodigal son; he’s Saul of Tarsus, who persecuted and judged Christians but later became one of their most devoted followers.

From a purely Catholic viewpoint, Severus is the perfect acolyte because he embodies the teachings of Jesus, who always advocated for those who strayed from the path. In Catholic thought, there’s great reverence for those who make mistakes, choose the wrong path, but later find redemption. And it’s not just about changing one’s beliefs—it’s about taking a painful, thorn-filled path where suffering itself demonstrates one’s worthiness for the Kingdom of Heaven.

Severus doesn’t just repent; he imposes upon himself a life solely dedicated to atoning for his sins. He renounces any personal happiness or fulfillment in order to be considered worthy of returning to the “flock.” It’s a deeply Catholic figure, now that I think about it—something I hadn’t realized before, but it makes perfect sense. Maybe that’s why I find everything he does so justifiable? Probably because, even though I’m not a believer and never have been, I grew up in an environment where figures like Severus were held up as examples of unwavering willpower and strength of character.

Let’s not forget that Catholicism also praises humility and condemns arrogance. The humility of doing good deeds without seeking recognition is considered virtuous, while the arrogance of wanting to be seen as a hero is sinful. Jesus sacrifices himself on the cross under extreme torture—that’s the Catholic ideal of the martyr. Your sins are forgiven not only if you repent but also if you become penitent. Severus is the ultimate penitent figure, and I probably have a very biased view of this because of the environment in which I was raised.

I will always value the sheep that returns to the flock more than the one that never left, because the former is the one that needs help the most. That’s how I was taught—that Christ didn’t care for the rich or for those with intact morals; he sought out the poor, the accused, the sinners, because they were the ones who needed a guide.

The priests really brainwashed me, my God—but it definitely makes sense. You can take the girl out of the Catholic school, but you can’t take the Catholic school out of the girl.

I’m gonna publish this Letterboxd review because omg this movie is so great and this review express specifically how I felt when I first saw it. The setting, the animation, the entire movie is just WOW

Angel’s egg reminds me alot of the Geneis song and I have no words to describe how the song makes me feel (This is said by someone who is not currently a big fan of Grimes, because the quality of his music has worsened a lot ) I know that Grimes takes inspiration from anime and her songs It seems to be taken from a technological world like this movie.

Probably the religious symbolism of the song reminds me of the movie, which also uses religious symbolism too to talk about philosophical themes but I don’t know.

I just feel the need to put into words this feeling. This need to talk about a movie hasn’t happen to me since I saw the movie Perfect Blue lol un películon también, tremenda fumada psicológica eso sí, pero de la buena y que Aronofsky consiguiera los derechos para hacer más tarde the black swan es lo mejor que pudo pasar, es que hola? Natalie Portman en esa película fue simplemente lo mejor de su carrera.

Angel's Egg (1985) dir. Mamoru Oshii

One of my favorite movies <3

FILMS WATCHED IN 2025 LADY BIRD (2017) Dir. Greta Gerwig.

a humiliatingly long character analysis of lily evans

Someone sent me an ask that briefly mentioned how misunderstood Lily is, and before I knew it I was typing out this monster. I am. sorry. This is literally just me rambling about her, what I find compelling about her character, and why her character is so often misunderstood.

This is long as hell so I'm putting it under a read more lolol

Part of the reason I like Lily so much (other than my being ginger and projecting onto any redheaded female character I see) is that even though she isn’t explored as much as her other Marauders Era counterparts, we know enough about her to start building the framework for her character. And what I see is a girl who was incredibly interesting, kind, and flawed.

One thing I always think about in regards to Lily is that she was dealt with a pretty unfair hand. As soon as she receives her letter, she’s basically torn between two worlds, both of which have been less than welcome to her. On one hand, we have the muggle world that she’s known all her life, but once she starts integrating into the wizarding world, she likely feels a bit of a disconnect with that world. To twist the knife further, her sister- whom she loved dearly and grew up so close with- starts outwardly resenting her with such unbridled hostility that they likely couldn’t even be in a room alone together without major conflict. 

On the other hand, we have the wizarding world– a world she’s not as familiar with and one she soon learns holds a demographic of people who hate everything she is and would rather see her excommunicated or even dead. And even though finding out you’re a witch/wizard is probably such an exciting and life-changing moment, I can’t help but also take note of the difficulties, especially if you’re the only one in your family with magic. You’re essentially uprooted from the only way of life you’ve known at an already complicated age, and now you have to quickly become acclimated to this new world that you only just found out existed. Not only that, but now you’re suddenly attending a school with classes that are primarily focused on this world of magic (which is still brand new to you), and you have to work extra hard to play catch up in order to do well. Like, that all seems like… a lot for a kid to handle.

And then I remember how young she was when she was thrown into that mess. She was only 11, and kids that age desperately crave any sense of belonging. I mean, that’s something that still holds true for adults, but it’s especially critical for a developing child. So imagine Lily, ages 11-15, struggling to stay afloat in this weird purgatory between these two parts of herself, both of which have been the cause for major and traumatic experiences relating to rejection in her life.

(I say it was the “cause” even though it’s obvious that those things were never her fault at all, but when you’re a young kid navigating the world, the only thing you’re able to process is that the common denominator is you, therefore you’re the one who must shoulder the blame.)

So now we have this tween-teenaged girl who has a dysfunctional relationship with two major parts of identity and probably feels absolutely lost. 

This is why her hesitancy to end her friendship with Snape makes sense to me. Even though by fifth year he’s already well past toeing the line with the dark arts, Lily was willing to overlook some pretty egregious and troubling things in order to maintain the relationship. I kind of interpret that as her way of desperately clinging on to any sense of belonging she has left; her relationship with Petunia has already been poisoned, and now there are people who resent her existence as a witch; if she loses Severus too, what and who else does she have? And what tone does that set for her, if everyone and everything she’s come to hold close to her ends up turning her away?

It’s also important to note that not only is Severus one of her few remaining connections to the muggle world, but he’s also a wizard who grew up in the muggle world; he understands her, and I don’t doubt that he gave her some stability at times when she needed it (her finding out about her being a witch, her having trouble acclimating to the wizarding world, etc).

I see this as being one of her flaws and I can actually appreciate how relatable and realistic it feels. Lily is not a bad person; on the contrary, you’d be hard pressed to find anyone to describe her as such. Not to get all clinical and boring, but the interesting thing about (unhealthy) coping mechanisms is that it can actually be really hard to identify them in your own behavior. Unless you’re in therapy and/or are actively psychoanalyzing yourself, you likely don’t even realize how many of your common behaviors are born from self defense mechanisms put in place by your brain after past events.

To me, it makes sense why she avoided actually confronting the idea that Snape was too far gone. We know that she was aware of the path Severus was taking, but it almost seems like she was still convinced that she could save him, and could possibly steer him back in the right direction. It’s only when she becomes the target of his bigotry that she realizes that the Snape who called her a ‘mudblood’ was not the same Severus who was the one who held her hand and introduced her to this new, exciting world.

In a general sense, yes, it is selfish, to only take a stand when something starts affecting you personally. But I also think it’s important to note that it’s unlikely that this was a conscious decision on Lily’s part. In my eyes, it was easier to delude herself into thinking she still had a chance to save him before it was too late when she was able to separate him from his actions (considering, a lot of the time, she was only hearing about them after the fact, rather than seeing them firsthand). But the elusion is shattered once she sees that the Snape she grew up with– her friend, Severus– is, in fact, the same person who’s out there calling other students slurs, dismissing the malicious use of Dark Magic on others as just “a laugh”. There we see a Lily who is actually revealed to have been somewhat aware of Snape’s involvement with the darker side of magic, and genuinely feels pretty ashamed about her inaction.

Also, this is in no way me being a Snape-anti, and I actually could do an entire separate analysis on his character alone and why I find him so interesting.

Anyways, that moment in SWM is probably somewhat of an epiphany to her. It’s like a dam that’s been broken, and now she’s overwhelmed with the realization of exactly how much she overlooked in order to keep their friendship afloat. And for someone like Lily Evans, someone whom we know is opinionated and unafraid to call others out on their bullshit, that can be hard to swallow and feel pretty mortifying and shameful. And I think this was a huge turning point for her- at that point, she doesn’t have the luxury of avoiding uncomfortable truths anymore and now that she’s getting closer to graduating and being thrown out into the world on the brink of war, this was probably a really sobering discovery.

This is where we don’t have as much info to go off of, and a lot of it is up to interpretation. But we actually have little crumbs to go off of following her graduation and leading up to her death.

One of my favorite little tidbits isn’t in the books, and @seriousbrat's post reminded me about it. Here's the actual entry on Pottermore for anyone who's interested, but I'll summarize: after James and Lily began dating, Lily brings James to meet newly engaged Petunia and Vernon. Everything goes downhill, because Vernon is a smarmy asshole, and James is still pretty immature and can’t help but mess with him (which… fair, I guess). Petunia and Vernon storm out after Petunia letting Lily know that she had no intentions of having her as a bridesmaid, which causes Lily to break down into tears. I mention this because I also think it’s a pretty important aspect of her character; like we’ve seen in her past friendship with Snape, Lily seems more than willing to forgive others most of the time. Petunia is a bit of a complicated character herself, but she was objectively very cruel and unfair to Lily once it became obvious that she was a witch and Petunia was not.

Something that always stands out to me is just how desperate Lily is to earn Petunia’s trust and approval again. Even up until her death, she was more than willing to mend the relationship, were Petunia ever to consider. 

This is a detail about Lily that I feel is misunderstood quite a bit. I’ve seen a lot of instances of her character being reduced to a one-dimensional archetype with little to no complexity. And often, that archetype is “know-it-all, prudish, self righteous bookworm who is also a goody two-shoes with a stick up her ass”. What annoys me is that the reason for this is most definitely the scene in which she blows up at James in SWM for bullying Snape, and hurls quite a few insults at him directly after an extremely devastating and overwhelming situation for her. This frustrates me because we know for a fact that she’s the polar opposite of this archetype I’ve seen her reduced to. 

In actuality, she’s referred to as popular, charming, witty, bright and kind. From flashbacks we also are shown that she’s opinionated, bold, and not afraid to challenge others. With other context, like her interpersonal relationships, we can also see that she’s pretty emotionally driven and wears her heart on her sleeve. 

(I know Remus didn’t mention Lily much in the books, but I really love how he described her in the movies. He tells Harry that the first thing he noticed about him was not his striking resemblance to his father, but his eyes, the same eyes Lily had. He also calls her a “singularly gifted witch” and an “uncommonly kind woman”.

“She had a way of seeing the beauty in others, even and perhaps most especially, when that person could not see it in themselves.”

I know there are mixed feelings on whether or not the films count as canon source material, so take it with a grain of salt, but I personally cannot see a world in which Lily and Remus didn’t become close friends.)

Here we have a direct description of what she was like and who she was, corroborated by recounting of memories of her, and yet for some reason, this feels like the thing that is most commonly lost in translation.

I don’t think I can say why I think that is without mentioning the dreaded M word (misogyny- it’s misogyny), but I also don’t want to get too off topic so I’ll be brief: female characters are typically not given the same grace as male characters. When we have an undeveloped male character, he’s awarded the assumption that despite his lack of depth, there still exists a complex and multifaceted character– it’s merely just potential that hasn’t been tapped into. Whereas when we have underdeveloped female characters, they are taken at face value, meaning that not much exists beyond the little information we have of them. They are not presumed to have a life or a story that exists beyond the surface of what we know like male characters are. That’s why I think characters like Regulus, Evan, or Barty (just to name a few) are more popular than Lily, despite being less developed than she is.

(Before anyone gets defensive, no, I don’t think it’s an individual problem that you alone need to be shamed for. I think it’s the result of a deeper issue regarding misogyny in media as a concept; these are things that we’ve all unknowingly internalized and while it’s not our fault, we still have to do the work to deconstruct those learned prejudices.)

What I find really cool about her character is that despite how much she’s been hurt, she’s also still known as one of the most loving, kind, and considerate characters. There were so many times in her life where the love she received was conditional and ripped away from her– and I think that’s what makes her sacrifice even more poignant. She was able to protect her infant son from an extremely powerful dark wizard, wand-less, knowing that her husband was just murdered in cold blood, just from how much love she felt for Harry. Her love was a force of nature on its own, and I just think that’s such an amazing thing about her. 

I know I’m biased, given that she’s one of my favorite characters, but even upon delving into this, I still just find it so incredibly hard to understand how anyone can actively hate her (not indifference, but actual dislike). In my opinion (again, no one is unbiased, and she is a favorite character of mine, but trust me when I say that I’m trying to be objective as possible when I say this), she’s probably one of the most likable characters of the Marauders Era. I think perhaps a lot of people haven’t given her a chance or really taken the time to learn about her character, but it could be a myriad of other reasons that I’ll never understand. 

There's so much more I could say but this is long enough and I will stop myself

Lily Evans, u will always be famous to me

What do you think father voldemort said to him? and was there a conversation? voldemort even talked to harry about his father.

It's pretty messed up to think that Rowling used such sensitive issues as sexual abuse (in Merope's case towards Tom), orphanhood, or domestic violence (in Snape's case) to define the personalities of characters who are either outright villains or morally questionable. In a way, it feels like she's blaming children and teenagers for not being able to move past their trauma, even though these kids had no psychological support, no healthy role models, no real help of any kind. She's essentially saying that if your family is a mess and you turn out wrong, it's your fault. And the worst part is that a big part of the fandom supports this idea.

It’s a very neoliberal perspective, based entirely on individualism and survival of the fittest. There’s no sense of the importance of community, care, or collective support. I think this is also very Anglo-culture: the idea that, well, some people go through hell and don’t become bad, so if you do, it’s on you. That view is incredibly individualistic, deeply capitalist, rooted in the "self-made millionaire" myth and the "if you're poor, it's because you want to be" mentality.

In other cultures, this way of thinking would be unthinkable—or at least not so normalized—because it's understood that the only path to survival is collective survival. There are relational dynamics with deep collective roots. You see it in Mediterranean culture, in Latin American culture, cultures where it's understood that only the people can save the people, and no one can save themselves alone.

Rowling doesn’t get this. That’s why she builds narratives around the lone hero who must face the villain by himself, the chosen one, all those tropes that end up individualizing the protagonist instead of fostering collective effort. And I also believe that this same mentality is why many of her haters don’t realize they fall into the same patterns of thought as she does, when they blame society’s victims for their own fates, instead of understanding that all of it could have been prevented with a good support system to catch them when they fell.

if anyone is interested in checking out the playlist me and my friend made for Severus here! :D

(btw I’m not that into music so don’t expect much ToT)

I’m not a big fan of Dali's paintings, but the way this man writes and his sketches are much better than his paintings for far. I absolutely love it. I have his tarot and it is a mix between a compilation of his sketches with collages. As a tarot reader, I love doing tarot readings with his cards, inspire me a lot.

Salvador Dalí Snake charmer 1966