Dr-houses-left-buttcheek - My Name's Nico

Th blnc ws dstrd lng g. Thr r n vwls nmr. Nw trnslt ths

"Miluji tě<3"

@dr-houses-left-buttcheek

Subject: Regarding Your Translation Requests 🦑📜

Dear Nico,

I regret to inform you that I can no longer serve as your translator, interpreter, or spiritual linguist.

You see, last Tuesday at precisely 3:47 AM, I was visited in a dream by a sentient dictionary named Merriam-Webscream. She informed me, in fluent Morse code and interpretive dance, that continuing to translate for you would disrupt the ancient balance between vowels and consonants. Apparently, the fate of the English language now rests on me speaking only in riddles and sound effects until the next lunar eclipse.

Additionally, my pet iguana (who is actually a licensed psychic) foresaw that if I translated one more sentence for you, the moon would fall out of orbit, and all toast would be permanently burned on one side. I can't let that happen. I love toast. The crust symmetry must be preserved.

So, effective immediately, I shall be communicating only through interpretive eyebrow raises and the occasional honk. 🫨🔊

Please respect my journey.

In confused commitment to nonsense, Ash Licensed Professional in Absolutely Nothing Founder of the “No Translate, Only Chaos” movement™

Foe mama even

Evil mama

Woe mama

GIRLS AND GUYS AND GAYS PLEASE LET ME FLIRT WITH YOU WHILE I COOK ANYTHING YOU DESIRE

Forget about fancy dates, i wanna flirt with you in kitchen while cooking for you

"Sex is what makes us human" is stupid. Almost every species fucks. Humans are the only species that jumps motorcycles over school buses that are on fire. Some other things too probably

I just found out it isn't

i thought your url was smegmascott for the longest

people who dont maintag: here is a full analysis of a scene where i write out what each character considered the situation to be, why their pasts made them react the way they did, and why the eventual misunderstanding was as avoidable as it was inevitable… #rambles #idk if this means anything so i wont spam tags ^^;

people who do maintag: i hate blorbo #blorbo #from my shows

As a swordfighter

I'd say the best are the Lonsword, any saberand the rapier

Fuck zodiac signs, what’s your favourite type of sword ?

hey man, i wish i had some actual profound words of advice and encouragement but i am but a man too. but listen, it will get better, no matter how shit it sometimes is. and one mustn't let the misery overpower the little joys of life, the little joys are what keeps us going, baybeee.

anyway, just hang in there king. you got this 🙌🫡

Is this bc of my unsafe driving post?

“i asked chatgpt—” well i asked the ceaseless watcher to turn its gaze upon you

destiel