#i’m 162 #it’s 5ft3 Right? #i’m Considered A ‘tall’ Girl Here It’s Kinda Insane

beta request

finally! fourth chapter of dutch elm disease is done!

if anyone would like to look this chapter over for grammar and plot consistencies, i'd be over the moon! just send me a dm or an ask, and i'll send you the gdoc ♡

caution: you gotta be comfortable with some heavy themes!

Smug, smugger, smuggest.

“My dads? Yeah, theyre always like that”

この2人とても好き

Everything was beautiful before the genocide 🥹💔

We always try not to give up, but that does not mean that we are fine and safe. At any moment we may be martyrs. Do not forget us and continue to donate and share my story to save me and my family. 🍉

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Donate to Help evacuate Muhammad's family, organized by Mohammed Habib

Hello, I am Muhammad Habib. I am 24 years old. I live in Gaza, specifically in (north G… Mohammed Habib needs your support for Help evacuate

KADOKURA TOSHIYUKI[門倉利運]!!!!

His name kanji are 利(advantageous) and 運(luck/destiny), i.e. “Advantageous Luck”

His parents blessed him!! He is the luckiest-named guy on the planet!!

Birthplace: Mutsu Province(which tbh is pretty vague- 29 hans were there in Mutsu no Kuni)

Likes: Sake and Squid

Dislikes: Shellfish

Quote: “It must have been the star I was born under…(misfortune)”

Noda’s Note: A perpetually weary, unmotivated and yet really sexy ossan(middle-aged man). I love this sort of a character.

Relations:-

Inudou: “The Inside Man”; Playing the role of a “tanuki”, he scouted around for intel. 

Hijikata: “Deeply Respects”; Due to his father’s influence Kadokura decided on being a follower. 

Kirawus

Birthplace: Roundabouts Kushiro, Hokkaido

Likes: Kokanee Salmon

Dislikes: Snakes and Locusts

Quote: “You’re going to fail if you don’t even think things through, Kadokura!”

Noda’s Note: Kirawus got his name Kirawus[キラウシ] because “as a child he was playing around with Deer antlers. Isn’t that adorable?” Kirawus is an Ainu word that describes things that have horns. The cute baby devil deer Kirawus-nispa.

On that note, the ainu word Kirau is a sort of basic Ainu siriki(traditional pattern) which is form of a thorn/spike/horn.

Relations:-

Nihei: “Hunting Companion”; While out hunting, Kirawus heard the story behind Nihei’s gun.

Kadokua: “Employer’s servant”; 雇い主の部下だが態度は適当だ

Kirawus is taller than Kadokura but Kadokura is heavier in weight. 

You had one job Noda I asked you Kirawus’ age

Also, 

From Q&As :-

Kirawus is the youngest child(in his family).

When asked about Kadokura’s past as regarding just how he went to school as a boy in his times and if he were from some well-to-do samurai family or reknowned or rich family. Noda stated Kadokura’s father was also unlucky and fell into ruin(poverty) and Noda thinks Kadokura was burdened with his “unluck”. 

When asked why of all people Kirawus hasn’t even taken off his matanpushi, Noda said he might draw Kirawus naked if the right opportunity presents itself and he doesn’t draw people naked just like that *ahem* really Noda? 

Kirawus canon likes a sort of fish. Kadokura the Tanuki we have seen him ask for fish as a bribe. Now it turns out Kadokura likes Fishing!

Q: What did Head Jailer Kadokura do on his holidays?

A: He likes fishing

Kirawus is unmarried and a confirmed bachelor

Kadokura used to be married once but his wife divorced him and she and their daughter ran off from him. Which once again brings me back to my fear reagarding who he is based on

Also,

Relationship: “An incongruous pair” or in my words, “They complete each other”

Nagakura paired up these two useless bums hoping they could be somewhat useful if together. And so they’ve been paired together ever since.

Take this as you will:- 

凸凹コンビ(Dekoboko combi) literally means “odd couple” and often that they are an equal-opposite duo, i.e. what one lacks the other compensates for. The phrase is used for siblings and best friends as much as it is for couples/lovers. The most cited example is Rain Man.

or as my dirty mind sees it *ahem* the two kanji’’s mean concave and convex and like…ummm…catch my drift

Hey! I'm sorry if I'm annoying you with this ask, but recently I finished watching the T&B anime and I really want to read the manga, but I'm a bit lost and I don't know where to start, because I have heard that there are more than one version (I don't know if that is true), so I wanted to ask for advice. There are more than one version of the manga? if that's the case, where should I start? Do you know where can I read it? Thank you so much, I hope you have a nice day!

Hi anon! I promise you are not annoying me, you (or anyone!) can ask or send me anything any time! I love T&B so much so I love to help however I can❤💚 Firstly, the manga can all be read in any order you want! None of them are connected to one another in any way. When people say there are two manga, they are referring to the following two: Miracle Jump Serialization: The Miracle Jump version (often abbreviated simply MJ) is written by Erika Yoshida and illustrated by Hiroshi Ueda. This manga takes place in between the events in the main series, so I guess you could technically consider it to be canon(?) There is no physical copy in English as it never got an official English release. Afaik it's never been translated in full but you can read most of it here! https://mangadex.org/title/7231545b-39ce-4d51-a825-b905b16691a3 New Type Ace Serialization:

The New Type Ace version (NTA), by Mizuki Sakakibara, is my personal favorite of the two! It starts off similar enough but there is a canon divergence from the main series, it's an AU of sorts where the events transpire very differently and the main villain is actually someone different than the show. While there are official physical copies, the fan translation, imo, is the superior version because there are bonus chapters and 4-koma that are really funny (and sometimes touching) that were never released in the official English volumes. Unfortunately, the last three volumes (7-9) were never scanlated (unless you speak Russian) but you can buy them officially. If you like Yuri (which I assume you do to some extent since you are here! :D) I recommend buying the last three volumes as he plays a pretty big role in volume 7 and volume 9. You can read volume 1-6 here: https://mangadex.org/title/ae039b61-72e2-4513-b091-bd7426d2ee44 Other Manga: There are actually 3 other English manga! The comic anthology (exactly what it sounds like. Short gag chapters, 4koma, all made by guest artists) of which there are two volumes and The Beginning Manga (Side A and Side B) both of which follow the plot of the Beginning movie. The last is a oneshot done by the one and only Katsura Matsakazu. The comic anthology is great and I would recommend purchasing both volumes (I don't think it's scanned anywhere :( ), the Beginning manga.... ehhh.... it isn't great. It's identical to the Beginning but more lacking and short. The oneshot is short and available online, no real reason not to read it! ^^ https://mangadex.org/title/859f6d51-5472-46e4-b555-8356b364878c/tiger-bunny-good-luck-and-bad-luck-alternate-like-the-strands-of-a-rope Sorry this was sort of long but I hope all of this helped you!

the past

(part 3 of a series of posts about tsukishima hajime. this is the last and longest one. see also parts 1 and 2.)

tsukishima's biggest hurdle in life is figuring out how to square away his troubled past while continuing to live. he feels like the only path he can follow is the one forged by tsurumi, a great man with big ideas who saved his life. he doesn't have any dreams or ambitions other than that because he doesn't value his own life at all. but it was tsurumi who made him that way in the first place.

when tsurumi asks tsukishima if he should have let igogusa know he was alive, tsukishima tells him that it's fine, but he only says that because he is on death row and has no reason to expect he will ever escape from it. he thinks that igogusa knowing he was a death row inmate would only shock and dismay her, so he would rather just die without her knowing the truth. (the line he says is, "iie… ima sara kanojo ni nanimo shiteageraremasen kara" "no… because there's nothing i can do for her at this point.") but that's based only on what he understands as his current situation at that time! if the order of things had been different, if tsukishima had first understood that he would be escaping with his life and living as a free man (albeit with a great debt to tsurumi), maybe his answer would have been very different! tsurumi intentionally timed his question so that tsukishima would give the wrong answer and then feel compelled to stand by it! tsurumi wants tsukishima to feel resigned to never seeing igogusa again, because then, he can focus solely on serving tsurumi's goals. now, because tsurumi made him say it was fine, changing his mind would be going back on his word and challenging the person who saved him from execution. he could not do it. his will was already mostly broken on that day.

isn't it a little cruel that we the readers have the dramatic irony of knowing that igogusa is alive and well when tsukishima never knows for sure in canon? apart from trusting that tsurumi told him the truth, that is. but tsurumi told him a mixed and tainted truth in the first place, and tsukishima realized that, so of course his trust is also tainted by painful doubt. he threw the hair away, but he hasn't forgotten her; he hits a low point and ends up asking inkarmat about her, and when he asks, he thinks of her face! for the first time in the story! it's such a meaningful reveal. and even if he later decides that doesn't want inkarmat's answer… does he really never want the answer? can he ever get closure? it's so sad… the line between "wanting to know" and "thinking you don't want to know" is painful to tread. i mean, on my part, i want him to let go of her so he can be with koito forever, joyful and unburdened... but maybe it would be finding out that she's fine without him that would really help him get closure and move on with his life… to then be with koito otonoshin forever… i mean, he and koito are canonically together forever either way, but i mean together in TRUE AND UNFETTERED ROMANTIC LOVE...! ahem.

in chapter 210, when tsukishima puts on his scariest face, he says, "あなたたちは救われたじゃないですか" "weren't you (plural) saved?" (polite form) (he keeps polite speech during his whole subsequent monologue, even though he gets a little emotional.) it took me a long time to understand this line, but maybe it's just dullness on my part. at first, i thought he was talking about koito and his father being "saved," but that's not right; the other party in the "you (plural)" must be ogata. then i was thinking that it was about ogata and koito not appreciating being "saved" by tsurumi, and tsukishima is upset that they're not just quietly cooperating like he does. like, "why can't you fools just go along with it? were you saved by him or not? if you were, just shut up and don't question it. like i do." but after thinking about it more, i've decided that he actually says it with a wry and pained irony: he was also "saved" by tsurumi and has mixed feelings about it, and that makes three. like, "you two were saved, weren't you? what, it doesn't feel that way? of course not... it's the same for me..." and that explains why he goes on to tell koito about how he himself was tricked. and the scary face is not that he's upset with koito or trying to scare him but rather a reflection of his own internal turmoil finally showing on his face for once.

the thing is, among ogata, tsukishima, usami, and koito, koito was the least "saved" out of all of them, because there was nothing for him to be "saved" from in the first place, and tsukishima knows that. koito was just kidnapped. by them. you could argue that he became closer with his father because of the incident, and that he was able to solve his problem of being shoehorned toward the navy despite being prone to seasickness, but that hardly amounts to "saving" from anything. koito was slated to live a bonbon life either way. so that's why tsukishima can't help but give his little sweet lies monologue to koito. because he knows that koito was wronged and not actually saved at all.

withering up

when tsukishima looks perfectly desolate after tsurumi revealed the depth of his farce with igogusa's fake bones (the moment tsukishima refers to as having "withered up completely" when explaining it to koito), i had a hard time discerning what he was feeling in that moment. he had just had his old wounds opened up, he got upset and punched and yelled at tsurumi, he tried to protect tsurumi from a shell, they both got grievously injured, and then tsurumi explained just how far he went for tsukishima's sake. so what exactly was it about that chain of events that made tsukishima wither up completely? i think i've realized that it was shame. what tsukishima felt in the withered-up panel was shame for having doubted tsurumi. it was deep self-disgust because he had lost control of himself enough to resort to violence, just like when he killed his father. not only that, but it was violence against the only person who valued him enough to save him! he hates himself in that moment. and that's exactly what tsurumi wanted, because the foil to miserable, self-hating tsukishima in that moment is tsurumi, his shining savior. everything about the interaction went exactly as tsurumi planned (apart from losing part of his skull).

as tsukishima explained to koito, it was only later that he slowly started to doubt tsurumi (after thinking about the logistics of meeting that sado resident in the field hospital); in that moment, he didn't doubt tsurumi whatsoever. he trusted him and respected him so deeply that that interaction is what led him to finally throw away igogusa's lock of hair after 9 years. tsurumi had finally broken him completely. the depth of his trust and respect for tsurumi was the depth of the shame and self-hatred that he felt, and that's how tsurumi was then able to pour in his affection and cement tsukishima as his most loyal pawn. he broke tsukishima's will and then touched him gently on the head. urgh! (gritting teeth! fists clenched!) a nicer person should touch tsukishima gently on the head…!

and then, when tsukishima slowly started to doubt what tsurumi told him, he didn't act on that doubt or tell anyone or do anything differently because he still didn't trust himself enough to feel like his feelings of doubt could actually be warranted. he just slowly let those feelings ferment, and it wasn't until koito confronted him about the kidnapping incident that he was able to actually bring those feelings to the surface and consult with someone about them. but even then, he did it in the habit of tsurumi's dirty work dog and finished his monologue by threatening to kill koito…

this whole character arc of being unable to decide whether to doubt himself or doubt tsurumi is extra painful because of the dramatic irony. he never gets closure about igogusa! he never knows for sure that she's alive, even though we, the readers, do! the question of whether tsurumi told the truth about her is integral to tsukishima's doubt or trust of tsurumi, and he never closes that door in canon.

the fact that igogusa is alive seems to indicate that what tsurumi did for tsukishima was real and that igogusa's parents really did orchestrate an island-wide lie about tsukishima's death so that they could marry her off to a rich family. when you first read the scene where tsurumi explains that to tsukishima, you must suspect that it is tsurumi's completely manufactured story to manipulate tsukishima, toeing the line of believability. but if tsurumi didn't lie and that's what really happened, then it's worth focusing on how that's a uniquely fucked up thing to happen to tsukishima. it's so sad and bizarre. and the pain tsukishima must have felt knowing that he killed his father not as revenge for igogusa's suicide but without any good reason at all, only as a consequence of losing his self-control because he failed to understand the ruse behind it all… he felt that hideous guilt at having lost his self-control, and then, 9 years later, tsurumi's charade provoked him and he lost his self-control AGAIN! and this time, it was tsurumi he punched! so when it became clear once again that tsurumi actually did help tsukishima and that igogusa was in fact alive, it was a new dose of the same hideous guilt, compounding it! and that's why tsukishima is so defeated. he loses ALL trust in his own judgment (at least for a period of time… of years) and bolsters only his self-control. he decides to not try to figure out things for himself anymore and instead surrender his free will to tsurumi, who is so kind to him and so clear and admirable, and as long as he holds onto his self-control while burying his own will, everything will work out… it's a win-win in his view! he knows he's being manipulated, but because he can't trust his own free will to guide him, he feels like being useful to tsurumi makes his life worthwhile! and of course tsurumi benefits from having created the perfect pawn! tsukishima turns off his free will and his heart, turns his self control to max, and follows instructions to a tee! that's why he's so good at dancing in the girl's group at the circus.

it took me a really long time to realize that the reason tsukishima had such an emotional reaction to the lighthouse parents not knowing the whereabouts of svetlana is that he can relate to it directly because he himself still doesn't know where igogusa is or whether she's alive (because he can't fully trust what tsurumi told him, even though we the readers know it's true). the pain of not even knowing whether someone important to you is alive or dead…

when tsukishima was chasing after tanigaki and inkarmat and koito came over and stopped him by saying it was an order from his superior officer… that was really brave and smart on koito's part. he understood that tsukishima is motivated by duty and commitment to tsurumi, but he couldn't have been 100% certain that tsukishima would obey his order and not kill him too. despite that, he was 100% confident in his authority to give that order, and tsukishima didn't expect that. tsukishima had been looking down on him to a degree (understandably), and that's why he was surprised that koito was willing to step up and use his authority like that despite being wounded and at a disadvantage. he called tsukishima's bluff (as a soldier, do you respect authority or not?), and tsukishima faltered. it was perfect because really nothing but an order from a superior officer (and fellow tsurumi loyalist) could have stopped him at that moment. (another note about that scene: i never noticed before but tsukishima is pointing a rifle at tanigaki and inkarmat, koito shows up, and tsukishima keeps his rifle pointing at those two while picking up a handgun with his other hand and pointing it at koito behind him. that's such a goofy maneuver!)

it seems very unlikely that tsukishima has talked in detail about his past ordeals to anyone but tsurumi (although i suspect others in the unit understand the general gist of things), and the two of them probably haven't talked about it since the battle of mukden. the reason is that tsurumi isn't actually interested in helping tsukishima heal, as that might diminish his capacity as a pawn. but koito would never think that way, and he would want to actually help tsukishima and make him happy. so i want to see koito and tsukishima talk to each other about his past and his pain so that tsukishima won't feel so alone in his internal struggles. i think i've become fixated on the idea of tsukishima achieving happiness… i just want it for him so bad… i need to go on ao3 or something. (i've only read 1 golden kamuy fanfic so far.)

X-Men Rare Pairs Fest 2022

Thank you to everyone who responded to my post expressing interest in Rare Pairs Fest! This year, timing for X-Men Rare Pairs 2022 is as follows:

Sign Ups Open: Feb 15 Works Revealed: Feb 22 Authors/Artists Revealed: Mar 15

Fest Highlights - Rare Pairs Fest is a prompt fest (vs a gift exchange) - Prompting remains open for the duration of the fest - Fills may be fic or art - All X-Men ‘verses are welcome (comics too!) - All X-Men pairings are allowed except Charles/Erik, though poly ships that include one or both these characters are permitted - Pairings can be romantic or platonic - Crossovers with other Marvel characters permitted as long as one of the pairing is in the X-Men verse (i.e. Storm/Black Panther) - You can request up to 10 prompts (min. one is required) - There is no minimum word count but fills (and art) must be complete when posted - Each prompt can be filled an unlimited number of times by an unlimited number of people - You do not have to write/draw to leave prompts - You do not have to prompt to write/draw a fill

If you have any questions about Rare Pairs Fest, please visit the Collection home page for details or feel free to send me an ask!

Please signal boost thanks!