Hey Man I Haven’t Seen A Single Similar Post (concerning???) So I Feel Like It’s Important To Make

Happy to help, glad it is informative :)

I think it depends! I'm not sure how it was before I was able to integrate with that part of myself, so I can only speak to what I can actually remember. But for the times I remember, it's very mixed. I'll know that I'm talking to my husband, but I'll be absolutely convinced he's angry at me (which is untrue), that I'm somehow unsafe (also untrue), and that I need to defend myself (never true with him tbh). If I'm aware enough to have the insight that I'm wrong, then I'm also frustrated/confused/angry about not being in control enough to use logic to control my behavior- but I don't always have that insight. So I'd say, usually, I am in the mindset of the past while being aware that I'm not physically in the past.

From what my husband has told me, during the times I have amnesia for, it sounds like I have no idea what's happening but I still know who he is and where I am. But he's said that I don't make any sense, like he will have me try to explain why I'm upset, and I can't really coherently put my thoughts together.

I remember one episode where I had been triggered by several things, and we were standing in the kitchen, and I was saying really awful horrible things to him- like he was trying to upset me on purpose, he was gaslighting me, etc- but he'd say "can you tell me why you think that?" And I couldn't. I don't remember how we had gotten to the kitchen, or what he had said that allegedly upset me. And I KNEW I was wrong, and I really wanted to stop yelling at him, but I felt so out of control. Like somebody else was operating my body, even though obviously I was operating myself lol. So I literally turned around, grabbed the handles of the kitchen cabinet, and yelled for like 15 seconds.

And then my sweet husband was like "yeah! You tell that trauma!" So then I laughed and then had a panic attack. And then we made dinner. An ordinary Thursday, lmfao.

Call for People who Have First Hand Experience with PTSD

(Part of The Research Game, question by @z-mizcellaneous-z)

We are wondering if anyone who has first-hand experience can share with us what PTSD flashbacks look or feel like to you, as well as what it might look like from the outside perspective (such as witnessed by friends/strangers).

(please only share if you're comfortable. You can also send me an anonymous ask instead!)

Everyone else, reblog this around until we can find someone who has the answer!

(Otherwise, there's a Youtube channel I know of that aims to spread awareness of PTSD and may help you here: https://youtu.be/vdLfrJSzMY8, though it's important to note she has Complex PTSD, which is slightly different and is characterized by prolonged trauma rather than a single event)

I really cannot emphasize enough the mental health benefits of abandoning the idea that you're special.

When you’ve been severely ill throughout your early adulthood, it means coming up against this again and again:

OTHER PERSON My 20s were wild – copious amounts of alcohol, partying, having sex with multiple people… SEVERELY ILL PERSON Yeah, mine too – copious amounts of herbal tea, being too exhausted to dance or have sex…

OTHER PERSON (a brief what-the-fuck expression passes over their face before they continue as before) Uh huh, so like travelling, starting new jobs, moving in with partners SEVERELY ILL PERSON Emergency trips to hospital, being too ill to work or go on dates OTHER PERSON (looks momentarily confused, then carries on as if SEVERELY ILL PERSON has not spoken) Going outside every day, holidays with friends, being carefree SEVERELY ILL PERSON Being bedbound/sofabound/housebound and stuck indoors, extreme social isolation, the crushing enormity of chronic illness grief and medical trauma OTHER PERSON ?! OTHER PERSON … OTHER PERSON (as before: enthusiastically begins a story about their dating/romantic/sex life as if SEVERELY ILL PERSON has not said anything at all)

When you're a kid and people do bad stuff to you or you witness bad things being done, you're encouraged to 'tell someone' and 'not keep it secret' and it's almost like we're responsible for making it known and making it stop, you know, if we don't do it nobody will.

But then when we do talk to the person we think is going to believe it + who has the means to stop it, and we get shut down and silenced, this person,, is not responsible for anything at all? They've just been given this valuable information that took us so much courage to open up about and the responsibility, at this point, should be 100% off of our shoulders because we did it, we Told Someone, it should get resolved now, but no? We get victim blamed and told we're making it up or even worse, that we need to shut up about it to keep the 'peace', and the person who does this to us is somehow clear of all responsibility, despite aiding the abusers blatantly??

I don't care anymore, if we told someone we did our part, and the rest is now on that person's shoulders, or maybe, MAYBE on the abuser's shoulders, because they're the ones committing crimes in the first place and it's literally 0% our fault this monster is out there. We are not responsible for protecting the world from the abusers, especially when we tell on them and you all shut us up and punish us for exposing their crimes.

What are the odds that a bot with the same name as one of my rapists' daughters follows me today lol fml

I have a medical issue that's triggering sensory flashbacks multiple times a day for the last couple of weeks and I'm SO TIRED AND OVER IT.

There were people complaining about how I'd ruin my rapists life by reporting him but I'm 32 fucking years old and cant function like a normal human. Someone complain about how they ruined MY life.

Being sex trafficked as a kid in broad fucking daylight in the United States is dystopian af, and gave me a dissociative disorder. I'm on three psych meds. Every time I go to the hospital or a new doctor, they see "PTSD" in my chart and tell me my symptoms are anxiety, and that has almost killed me THREE TIMES.

My trafficker is free. My rapists are all either free or dead. The one I took to trial got everything expunged from the records. Somehow he even got the news articles taken down.

And I'm just... Still here. Still trying to cope. Still living in fear of people who probably don't think of me at all.

I know I'm literally just a trauma dumping blog but I'd just like all the fandom & art accounts I follow to know that they make my life better. Thanks friends. I suck up your good content the way SpongeBob needs water at Sandy's house.

In that mood where I scour social media and the general internet in hopes my stepfather is finally dead 🫠🙃

He never is. Fucker.