Ok, But Does Anyone Else Always Have That Incredibly Exhausting Feeling Of Having To Somehow Entertain

Hmmmm

Layers of Fear portraits of wife by Andrzej Dybowski

One episode of TMA that I will NEVER be able to shut up about is 170 (Recollection). The first episode that made me properly cry! Not only is it a beautiful exploration of Martin as a character, but humanity in general.

The light, innocent, childish small talk that Martin offers to the tape recorder. He tries so hard to keep it comforted, welcome in his home, looked after. It'd be wrong of course, to ignore it, even in his despair; others should always be put first.

Through tangled, rambling sentences, Martin manages to always explain away his own emotions, actions... To be visibly uncomfortable, unwelcoming, is wrong. He offers up his life, details of his existence, but talks them into offhanded mentions.

The subtle embarrassment he has for himself; a hallmark of much of English society. Everyone must be a self contained functioning person, lest they risk being 'odd', 'troubled', perhaps even 'disruptive'.

And as Martin's inhibitions fade, as his memories of everything grow dim, his instinctual desperation shows so painfully through. Desperately reaching for answers, as a child desperately holds their hand out for an absent parent.

Martin never had a safe person to reach for, someone always there for him. His father gone before he really knew who he was, his mother infinitely distainful... This abandonment mirrored by Jon's absence that floats into his mind in phases.

And even to be denied the pain, to forget what you were crying about, there's something terrible about it. Feeling the lump in your throat, the tears on your cheeks, but never really being sure why they were there, if they even are.

And the chairs. To be denied the simple comfort of a soft place to rest.

Martin's eventual return to his duties, caring for his mother, the subtle falsified joy he finds in it, and his decline into self hatred, blame. How easy it is for him to find his way back to a place of insecurity even when he has nothing to grasp onto.

And how strong he stays. How ready he is to shoulder the blame, to carry on, to be there for anyone who might need him, anything. It's all outside, and when he falls deeper into the fog his internal, pressed down emotions spill out.

All of Martin's fears come from a place of worrying he isn't enough, and this domain reduces him to a state where he is nothing; and yet, he prevails.

a pin up version of my plague doctor :3

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Malevolent (Podcast) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: John/Arthur Lester Characters: Arthur Lester, John (Malevolent) Additional Tags: Fluff, Holding Hands, Touching, set before episode 16 Summary:

Arthur, John said again though, voice disapproving and the man was nothing if not stubborn. This is a bad idea. Without really thinking about it, Arthur moved his hand and covered John’s, lying next to his.

“Sleep, John,” Arthur mumbled. “We will worry about what this means tomorrow.” He was too tired for mysteries tonight. Underneath his hand, he could feel John’s fingers twitching slightly, curling inward and touching his own before uncurling again.

In the Dreamlands, Arthur and John find a bed and some rest and comfort.

Not to be a cunt, but second hand dysphoria is a you problem. It is not the problem of whoever is "giving" you second hand dysphoria.

Femme trans men, transmascs, and enbies existing and loving themselves and their bodies not harmful.

Masc trans women, transfemmes, and enbies existing and loving themselves and their bodies is not harmful.

If you are triggered by a transmasc who fits the soft eboy look, or a transfemme who fits the butch lesbian vibe, that is your responsibility to deal with it. Not theirs.

Secondhand Dysphoria is not the other person's fault.

glowing freckles *^*

What she says: I'm fine

What she means: in act 1 Macbeth and his wife are physically apart, they obviously don't hear each other's soliloquies but they always know each other's thoughts, they are quite literal partners in crime (and in greatness), which makes it all the more jarring when in 3.2 they are on stage together, talking to each other, and even assuming each other's language to a point where there's an obvious sense of déjà-vu, and yet their understandings are exactly opposite, marking the beginning of the end and the breakdown of communication between them. In other words arguably what destroys them is the role-reversal that makes each of them too much like the other and leaves them vulnerable to new flaws and fears, which in turn leaves room for the guilt and paranoia to filter in, and just like that the most intimate marriage in all of Shakespeare's theatre is done for. They will never be intimate again. I could just about scream.

“’I will wear him in my heart’s core’: Tragedy, Community, and Queer Identity in HAMLET Online” A post mortem on my first ever academic conference presentation At the beginning of this month I had the absolute privilege to present some of my current research at the Utah Wooden O Symposium at Southern Utah University. My biggest belief is that research, the arts, and education should be as widely accessible as possible. This is why today, I am sharing the highlights of my survey results, research you all helped contribute to! These are not all the answers or data, but some of the most fun bits I’ve used so far. This survey will be used for future projects (by me only) as well! In addition, I will be filming and presenting a series of TikToks and a longer video essay on Youtube with an alternative reading and presentation of my research. If that’s not enough Hamlet research for you, I will also (hopefully!!!) be publishing this research in 1-2 journals. Until then, I wanted to give you the tumblr community the data on your Hamlet thoughts. If you like this research, content, or want to participate in future research please either reach out to me or… watch this space! I’ll be developing my thesis work in similar ways and I’ve got a Ph.D. after this to research for… hopefully! Thank you all again, I hope to provide more accessible education for everyone. For now, please enjoy just how gay we all are. Disclaimer: Graphs auto displayed the top 5-10 answers, the full numbers and percentages I do have but graphs do not reflect all genders and sexualities provided. Future and previous presentations of this data will reflect all genders and sexualities provided. ALT TEXT is Below

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