I FOUND THIS F* UPED TOY ON THE INTERNET IT'S HILARIOUS

i just realized my life for the past 2 years has just been "receiving support/help/treatment for mental health issues." all my goals have been measured by my mental health issues. all my growth has been measured by my mental health issues. etc. etc. and it feels like i'm not even living.

and like yes my mental health issues are severe, they do impact every aspect of my life, they do heavily inform my identity, how i relate to others, etc. etc. but like. at the same time. even when my mental health was severe as a teenager, i had life outside it. it may not have been much compared to my peers, but i still had a few friends, a few hobbies, a few things that made my days worthwhile.

i don't really have any of that anymore, and i haven't for a long time. i'll have bursts of inspiration and whimsy, but it's always squashed down by judgements echoing in my head. and the worst part is, i blame myself for doing nothing but go to appointments. i blame myself for my mental health getting as bad as it has.

but the reality is. i and so many other severely mentally ill children are not given the opportunity to thrive. we're forced to meet impossible standards. anything we may enjoy or excel at isn't prioritized. everyone's focused on our deficits, our problems, our dangerous/risky behavior, our academics, our future employability, etc. etc.

no one ever sits down with us and earnestly works with us to achieve what we want for our life - what we need. no one prioritizes our happiness, or protects us when we're in danger from others. they just try to fix us, and when that hurts us? we're blamed. we're the ones who aren't trying. we're noncompliant. defiant. misbehaved. irresponsible. it's never the system's fault.

our disabilities and our age just get us totally abused/neglected, all in the name of making us into functional adults. we're not allowed to just be children, and a lot of us don't make it to adulthood. but when we do and still can't function like our peers, the world just leaves us to rot, saying we're old enough now and need to figure it out.

it's so incredibly cruel. no matter your age, if you've been treated this way... it's not your fault. it's not our fault. you're not the only one. you're not the problem. you were/are just a kid - a child in pain... and also an equal - a human being, just like the adults who hurt you. you deserved better. so much better.

what a beautiful day to not be in high school

Love sonic movies

happy autism awareness day to all the girls who had “ friends” growing up who were actually bullying them . to the girls who always sat alone in the grass and wondered why nobody wanted to talk . to the girls who spoke to animals like they were listening . to the girls who created a little world in their room . to the girls who always felt ashamed for how deeply they love things and how passionately they enjoyed media . to the girls who covered their ears when they were overwhelmed by everything . to the girls who carrying a special thing around to feel safe . to the girls who never understood what they did wrong to feel so lonely . to the girls who were diagnosed later in life because they weren’t little boys who liked trains. you are so special and beautiful and you’re not worse for it, you love deeply and that is so wonderful please never try to push that down . I LOVE YOU !!!!!

But first they must catch you 🏳️‍⚧️

Bunmni

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