It's Sad That They Removed All The Instagram Posts

ANA AMARI  → BASTET 

A guard on the ground between them groaned, and in a flash, Ana drew her sidearm and fired a sleep dart into his neck. 

“You missed one,” Ana said.

Recurring Character Archetypes of Each SFTH Member

Tom

1) Oddly Mature/Self-Aware Child (Janae, Peter Stevens, Alexa, really got the whole gender spectrum here-)

2) Actually Intimidating Villain (Locomotion, Witchfinder General, Krampus)

3) Sexy (Sexy German Woman, Xavier, Magnus O Puss)

Bonus! Guys named Derek that are just so in love (The Unrelenting Aubergine, Blancmange Flurry)

Luke

1) Tired Wife/Mother (Jemima)

2) Attractive Woman (Sarah)

3) Gremlin (Scottish Robin, Little Krampus, Male Nymph, etc.)

Bonus! Grieving Fathers (Geppetto, Marty Sr.)

Sam

1) Old Lady (you know who I’m thinking of)

2) Child That Pisses People Off (Marty, The Boy Witch, Kid from Too Big To Be a Jockey)

3) Any and All Creatures (Mario, Bertie, Miffles, etc.)

Bonus! Sapphic (Thirsty Vamps, Bus Stop Lesbians)

AJ

1) Innocent Children (Priscilla, Hugh, Rupert)

2) Naive Adults (Bobby/Clive from The Lighthouse)

3) Plot Twist Villain/Murderer (Belly-Boots, Juliet)

Bonus! The Local French Translator (OMGITAJ)

Notes and Specifications

Tom’s Child category was gonna be ‘traumatized child’ but that was before I realized 3 of the 4 play children pretty often and every single one is traumatized

Yes the Witchfinder General is hilarious and absurd in concept, but so is Locomotion and even Sam admitted he was terrifying. Idek if I’ll have people arguing this, I’m just covering all my bases-

Krampus is purely there because they have this man a microphone and he became far too powerful

If there’s only one example listed, it means I know it’s happened more than once, but I can’t think of the others off the top of my head

Except for AJ’s bonus, I just always thought the was funny

Yes, ‘child that pisses people off’ ranges from being a little annoying to actual murder, but they both count

I used the phrasing ‘creatures’ instead of ‘animals’ on purpose, and I don’t think I have to explain why

I had so much fun translating their actual outfits into something that would work for the time period they chose

A very happy poodle

Shoot From The Hip, the great romantics of our time.

When I was training to be a battered women’s advocate, my supervisor said something that really blew my mind:

“You can always assume one thing about your clients; and that is that they are doing their best. Always assume everyone is doing their best. And if they’re having a day where their best just isn’t that great, or their best doesn’t look like your best, you have to be okay with that.”

Any now whenever anyone in my life, either a friend or a client, frustrates me, disappoints me, or pisses me off, I just tell myself They are doing their best. Their best isn’t that great today, but I have days where my best isn’t that great either. 

“My mom painted this and said no one would like it. It’s her 2nd painting.”

“I painted somebody’s mom”

“Took a while and not perfect, but i painted the guy who painted the other guy’s mom”

“I painted the girl who painted the guy who painted the other guy’s mom who painted an egret”

“I painted the guy who painted the girl who painted the guy who painted the mom who painted a bird”

“When it sinks in that I stayed up most of the night to paint a meme for internet points…”

Don’t Take Up Spaces that Aren’t Meant for You

I go to use the elevator in a high rise building only to find a sign that says “Please ask security for access to this elevator”. A week ago, that sign wasn’t there. When I ask the security guard why the sudden change in policy, they said that people from other floors in the building had been abusing their access to the elevator and that they needed to lock it down. 

Let me make this perfectly clear: I could no longer independently access the only elevator available to take me to this part of the building because other people decided to use / abuse a space that was not meant for them instead of taking the stairs right next to the fucking elevator.

Here’s another example: In order to have access to an accessible room on a cruise ship, I have to submit a form stating that I do in fact  have a physical disability that prevents me from using a normal state room on the ship. I have to do this because able-bodied people have, in the past, been dishonest about the level of accessibility they require in order to have access to a larger stateroom without having to pay a premium.

How about this one: I go into the restroom of a massive convention center. Every single stall  in this restroom is empty except for the one handicapped stall in the back, which is being occupied by someone who does not need to use a handicapped stall. I now have to wait for that one person to exit the stall before I can use the restroom. Remember: This bathroom has 7+ other stalls that are built specifically to work for them, but they chose  to use the one space that is available to people like me.

Dear able-bodied people: Handicapped bathroom stalls, seating areas, staterooms, and elevators are not meant for you and you should not use them.

I do not care how big of a hurry you were in and how that elevator got you to where you needed to go faster. Because of you, I have to go find someone every time I need to use this elevator and if I can’t find them I GET NOTHING. 

To you, that cruise ship can house 2000+ people and you have an opportunity to get a massive stateroom at no extra cost if you’re wiling to fib a little. To me, that cruise ship has a capacity of around 12 (the number of accessible rooms on the ship) and if they’re all full, I GET NOTHING.

To you, that movie theater has four really great seats right in the middle that just happen to have a handicapped accessible sign on them. To me, that theater has four seats and if they’re all full, I GET NOTHING.

And let me address the bathroom thing in particular. I don’t give a flying fuck if the handicapped stall was the only one available. You should pretend like it doesn’t fucking exist and wait in line like everyone else. *

Don’t take up spaces that were not meant for you. Because everything but those few precious spaces were not meant for us. 

* Unless it’s literally the only stall in the bathroom or you’re about to absolutely shit yourself. Then it’s fine. 

Homophobic Mom.. Turned Supportive?

OH MY GOD Y’ALL 

okay backstory: for those of you who don’t know, my parents are super religious and homophobic. They have told me I’m going to Hell and threatened me… bad stuff. It has been truly an awful experience.  now YESTERDAY: my mom just starts pouring her heart out to me about how she wants me to be happy and trust her. She said she wants me to be around when she’s old and not to push me away. My mom has never really cared about me. This was all weird. Then she hits me with the: I don’t care if you’re gay, straight, bi… whatever you are. (Because she knew I was gay but thought I “fixed” it.)  It took me a lot of talking to her to believe she changed. But I came out to her. And she accepts me. It gets better. I promise. If you’re struggling with your parents not accepting you, remember there is hope. I know. You don’t think there is. I thought she’d never accept my sexuality. She literally wanted to send me to military school because I’m gay. But she changed.  Never give up.