DAISY JONES & THE SIX (2023) Track 9: Feels Like The First Time

“hey, good morning!” she greets rania back, mirroring the smile on her face as she takes the cup of coffee with both hands. “this is so sweet of you, rania. thank you so much.” rachel already had her daily dose of caffeine earlier, but she wouldn’t mind another one. “everything’s good, we’re doing so good.” for once she’s being honest, although it wouldn’t be wrong to see it as some sort of manifestation too. “i mean, manifesting is really just you believing in something hard enough it becomes real, and i do believe in your manifesting power! today’s going to be an easy day for sure,” she agrees, taking a small sip of her coffee. “yes and yes. can’t take good care of other people if you don’t take care of yourself first, right? what about you? everything’s good with you too, i hope?”

for @detruines where? the hospital!

"good morning!" rania chirps, handing the other a fresh cup of coffee and flashing her a smile, "how we doing? everything good? sleep deprivation hitting?" she takes a sip of her own coffee, humming, "today's going to be an easy day. i'm manifesting it. not that i believe in manifestation, but that's what all you young people say now, right? you're manifesting and the aura or whatever." she waves this off, "anyway, are you drinking enough water? did you eat breakfast this morning?"

i dont want to look “pretty” i want to look otherworldly and vaguely threatening

"just stop thinking about it" my brother in christ, if I could stop thinking about it I would

“so your therapist suggested violence and you’re okay with it?” rachel asks, frowning at the thought. “not that it’s bad- i mean it is- how could anyone agree to do this?” well, she did, but then again aivryn told her it was a surprise; rachel didn’t know they were going to be smashing stuffs in here, or else she would’ve said no. “when you told me we’re going to do something fun, this is not what i have in mind at all. this is crazy, aiv,” she tells her friend, reluctantly taking the protective gear from her. is it too late now to say no? rachel sighs in defeat as she puts on the safety goggles, gloves and helmet; just like aivryn did. “you wanna know what i’m thinking? i don’t think i can do this and i'm freaking out. it's not too late to cancel this thing, right? can’t we just do something else?"

status / open (@valpostart) location / destrozarlo mejor!

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡. ❝I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO TRY THIS! I CAME HERE LAST WEEK WITH MY THERAPIST, AND IT WAS SOOO FUN.❞ Aivryn bounced on the balls of her feet, eyes gleaming with excitement as she slipped on the coveralls provided by the Destrozarlo Mejor staff. ❝Honestly, this is one of the best things I've done in a while.❞

She wiggled her brows as she handed the other their protective gear. ❝I was thinking you might really enjoy it too. You know, just letting loose and smashing stuff. And I feel like you really need it.... No offense, of course.❞ Did Aiv think they look like they needed a release? Yes. Hence, why she took them to the rage room. She wore her safety goggles, gloves and helmet before moving to look at the array of hitting equipment laid out on a table. Aivryn pursed her lips as the thought about her weapon of choice for today. ❝Whatcha thinkin' of using, hm?❞

MOON GA YOUNG 문가영 — Le Coq Sportif x 2023 tennis collection

although the night shifts at the hospital are getting easier to manage by now, rachel couldn’t deny that she still loses track of time now and then. having been a morning person for most of her life, she finds it weird to go bed at the time she usually wakes up and start her day when it’s already noon ⸻ it’s a routine that she’s slowly getting used to, and to avoid going out while she’s recovering from a night shift, she would usually opt to cook for lunch. rachel has always been the type to favor homemade food over anything else, but after staring at her almost empty fridge for a hot minute, she realizes that she might have forgotten to do grocery shopping that week. well, it’s not like it never happened before.

after much contemplation she decides to go out, thinks it would be a good idea to have a walk and eat outside for a change. rachel stops by plantas atlas on her way, something that she does out of habit since moving into the area. how could she not? it’s the only place she knows she could find felix, and despite her own stomach growling she couldn’t help but wonder if he has eaten, if he’s doing well at all. rachel doesn’t really expect he would emerge from the back door, just like the other times she’s come here, but there he is. she finally manages to catch felix at the right time and yet she freezes in her spot, unsure what to even say first.

“would you even pick up if i call first?” she asks, although she already knows that he wouldn’t. it’s why she chooses to linger around his plant shop instead; it would be harder to avoid her if they run into each other like this anyways. “i came here to see you,” she admits, tears welling up in her eyes. “i was just on my way to get lunch. have you eaten yet?“ 

( @detruines )

this is quickly becoming a habit; felix falling asleep at plantas atlas, whether it's over inventory or simply a bottle of something a little too strong for even his taste - his clothes rumpled from an unsteady sleep each morning as he tries to leave unnoticed, like some sort of late night call. it's not his fault that on most days - it's already dark by the time he gets out of the shop; it's not his fault that he's scared of - not the dark - but driving in it. it's one of those fears that grip him as hard as he grips the steering wheel, knuckles white with the anxiety. he probably couldn't drive, even if he wanted to; his body reacts too physically to the memories.

so he sleeps there, sometimes - so what? it's never been a problem before; nobody stops him out of concern, nobody checks his whereabouts. nobody disrupts his routine. but it's half - past noon, and he's slept in - and god, there's this crick in his neck that makes him feel like he's one second away from just being stuck at an angle, permanently; and he needs coffee. badly. so he slips out of the backroom, and out of plantas atlas - already open, already in full swing - in his wrinkly, day - before clothes with his head ducked down... and runs into no other than rachel. "oh - christ -" it's too late to turn back around; he's already lingering in the doorway for far too long than he personally likes. he hates people lingering in the doorways - it's either come in, or get out.

"- what are you doing here?" it comes out harsher than he expects it to - a combination of a bad night's sleep, and genuine surprise; caught off guard. "ever thought about fucking... calling first, sometime?"

is that MOON GAYOUNG? oh, no, that’s KANG “RACHEL” DOHEE, a TWENTY-SEVEN year old RESIDENT DOCTOR AT CENTRO MÉDICO who uses SHE/HER pronouns. they currently live in LAS VILLAS DORADAS IN QUILPUÉ, and the character they identify with most is ENID SINCLAIR FROM WEDNESDAY. hopefully they find their own little paradise here in el país de los poetas!

statistics

full name: rachel kang / kang dohee nickname(s): usually just goes by rachel date of birth: june 10th, 1997 age: 27 years old hometown: valparaíso, chile commune: las villas doradas, quilpué sexuality: heterosexual occupation: resident doctor at centro médico

tldr

youngest of three kids so she’s just a Baby fr. grew up with high expectations from her strict parents and the need to keep up with the oldest sibling, which kinda made her a perfectionist that would freak out at any minor inconvenience, but also has the mentality of fake it till you make it so she hides all that emotional instability behind her bubbly personality! the kind that goes “oh no worries this is fine!” with tears in her eyes bc while it is in fact Not Fine she’d hate to be of inconvenience. that being said, she might come off as a little pretentious at times, but she does mean well and is easy to get along with. tends to care about what people think of her, hence the people pleasing tendency. once she gets comfortable around someone she could become a tad bit clingy, which can be both good and bad. the kind to reach out to friends first and check on them. definitely the Mom Friend™. very book smart with good social skills! girlie went to harvard med school and now she's doing her first year residency in valpo bc she wants to be closer to family. aka she's also using it as an excuse to make peace with her brother felix, whom she had a huge fight with 5 years ago. she’s a very emotional person, tends to take things personally sometimes and make everything about her (re: the fight with felix). her love language is words of affirmation and acts of service.

biography

born and raised in valparaíso so she’s a native! as the youngest of three siblings, rachel looked up to the oldest a lot because they were the picture perfect child and well, she wanted to be the same thing. she wanted to be the picture perfect daughter. at first rachel thought it would be easy, and sure, while there was no doubt her parents adored her, she had come to realize that it took more than just being the baby of the family to get their affection ⸻ she would have to live up to their high expectations, first of all.

it wasn’t like she was pit against her siblings growing up. it just sort of happened naturally, especially with the oldest, considering that they seemed to have it the easiest, although rachel wasn't that different. everyone knew she was the top student in her class, that there was nothing she couldn’t do if she put her mind to it, and yet when it came to her oldest sibling, she always felt like she could never measure up to them. this put a strain on their relationship, which made her turn to felix for comfort and reassurance. at least she kenw they were both struggling to keep up with their parents' high expectations, or at least that’s what rachel thought.

that’s why she had become comfortable to whine around felix when things didn’t go her ways, although most often than not they did. sometimes rachel did it out of habit, unaware of the fact that her emotional dumping could come off as inconsiderate. to her, felix had been a safe place for her to be vulnerable. someone that she didn’t have to impress. despite being polar opposites of each other, with rachel being sunshine incarnate and felix the grumpy brother, they got along just fine. of course they did bicker from time to time, just like siblings did, but nothing was ever taken seriously.

rachel was in her final year in college when the fight happened. she was just venting to felix as she usually did ⸻ something about her not getting the honorary student award and how she felt like a failure because of it, and all of a sudden they were at each other’s throats. rachel wasn’t usually prone to lashing out at somebody, much less her brother, but somehow she did. she remembered feeling so upset that she couldn’t even recall what she said to felix, but she knew it was bad enough that he had to leave valpo.

it would be a lie to say she didn’t feel guilty about it, but she had better things to focus on for now. eventually she got accepted into harvard medical school, which felt like a dream came true, and so she too left valpo in the end. things had only gotten harder since then, but rachel wasn’t raised to be a quitter. now that her brother wasn’t around anymore, she often called her aunt to check on her while she was away, counting days until she could return home.

four years went by and rachel finally graduated from med school. she applied to do her residency in valpo, wanted to stay close to her family. after all valpo had always been home, and although felix hadn’t returned yet by the time she did, she knew that he would sooner or later ⸻ how could he not if the news of their dying aunt reach him? until then she could only look forward to the day they would make peace and become close again. hopefully.

she keeps her hands around the cup of tea, eyes focused on vanni as he speaks. his question doesn’t come off as a surprise, even more the remark that comes after; vanni’s right about it all. she’s not the type to get distracted often, especially not when she’s around vanni. “it’s nothing, really. i’m fine,” she tells him, nodding reassuringly. “just a little tired from work, is all. i’m still getting used to the night shifts and everything.” she lets out a chuckle, “it’s not that bad i promise!” well, at least she’s not falling asleep while listening to vanni; that would have been way worse. shaking the thought away, rachel leans closer to him, an excited grin on her face. “okay now back to you, vanni. what’s the important life update?”

vanni turns back around and settles back in his seat. he looks at her and is silent for a moment, and then two. his life update can wait, especially when it seems like there's something on rachel's mind that's making her struggle to stay focused. he didn't even think this was something that he'd ever say in his life. his image of rachel was always that she was smart, focused, and goal-oriented. to see her actually space out was something that was so alien to him. "it's okay," he accepts her apology and waves it off to grab his tea. "it's important, but it can wait. what's on your mind though? is something bothering you? i don't think i've ever seen you like this - respectfully. seems pretty bad if you're struggling to pay attention. see, usually you'd be the one telling me to pay attention."

“so you’re one of those good kids who just eat everything, huh? that’s cute,” she tells adem, head tilting to the side as she muses. “i’m sure your cooking is not bad. if it was she would have told you earlier, right? i know some kids can be brutally honest like that. just give her a little break, babes. it’s okay to not eat your veggies sometimes.” jackie would know because she’s been there, done that too. “do i eat vegetables?” she repeats his question playfully. “well, yeah, i do now! but there was a time i really hated it too, just like emmy. my parents never really cared about it so in the end i just went back into it myself. i could say i’ve grown, ” she laughs. “now that i think about it, maybe it’s some sort of a rebellion after all. have you ever talked this out with emmy though?”

"well, i ate vegetables when i was her age!" not that he had much of a choice, "my sister and i ate whatever. and emmy did eat them, but then she turned eight and suddenly... it's all ewww gross, baba." adem shakes his head, "do you think this is some sort of rebellion? she's growing up on me and suddenly my cooking is bad?" or maybe his cooking isn't that good. he made a note to ask ysla. and also rohan, for a more blunt answer, "well, when did you start eating vegetables? do you eat vegetables?" he hopes so, but he will withhold judgement regardless.