Everything I Know About Metal Gear Solid

“You’d rather be what now?” The machine turned it’s single intense eye upon the figure leaned against the wall of the seaside cave that made up a passably survivable oasis in this desert. “My processors may have degraded from long decades spent patrolling this stretch of dirt and sand, and my aural processors though as sharp as ever have a certain static to them, I cannot reach agreement over what you have told me.”

The figure against the wall stared the cyclopean mechanism dead on, looking for all it’s viewing g pleasure like a firm-led military officer who’d gotten lost at a dress party and wandered out into the dunes , perhaps holding a wineglass. That caused it’s internal core to cool pleasantly.

“If you can understand me, then you understand what I said.” The woman in dress uniform tiredly tossed her silver speckled hair as if to dismiss the subject.

“Repeat it for me, if you’d lease.” Poilte for a lonely robot out by the sea.

“The part of me that’s a machine doesn’t know how to function without what my biological parts consider extreme anger, I want to stay as furious as possible to optimize my performance.” Despite the bags under her eyes she just gave the mechanical soldier crusted with sand and a tattered paint job a look. A special look, like you’d reserve for someone to whom you have explain the shape of the Earth.

“I understood what you said, I didn't understand the logic of it, even with repair functions going as hast as possible, the wear and tear on software would eventually cripple an active unit. Your desire is born out of an dangerous imbalance. Have you even checked for any malware affecting your organic psychology..?” It then did an uncharacteristic thing, and placed it’s hands about where it’s child would be and settled down into what looked like a thinkers pose. “I am wondering if you came here for a reason, or were pulled here by what I’ve been patrolling.”

Despite the officers admittedly superior (??) processing power, she had no answer for the monolith of hardware. Just a non committal ‘unpmffph!’ like she thought the question would go away on it’s own, like so many in her life had by simply focusing directly ahead when the  e**** became too difficult to compartmentalize.

“You are not operating at maximum capacity, tell me, what’s wrong.” The Ruby light of it’s casual sensor made the scene more threatening than it probably had to be.

“Even if I told you, I doubt I’d know myself.”

The optic of the mocha gazed at this overworked woman. It considered how best to phrase this.

“Have you tried not constantly slamming the reset button on your love life because you feel the need to punish yourself for the slightest perceived flaw?”

If the facial expression could be described in the flurry of actions that took place after that, the best POSSIBLE descriptor would be that someone had just gently taken this persons headphones off, thrown them on the ground without looking and beeped them on the nose before slapping their ass.

“Say that....again.” “You need to explain to yourself why you hold silent standards that only you seem to understand the worth of, or else you’ll always hit a delay when you’re about to do something. Some people consider encouragement to be painful if the one doing it only has doubts about them if they don’t perform.” She narrowed her eyes. “What’s the problem then.” The great frame of the machine stood up and assumed a slightly overbearing pose. “Don’t try to tell people you know are prone to panic what they’ll do before they do it, it’s a zero out of fifty chance that you’ll get them to listen, be gentle. Not everyone dreams only of wars.”

The officer almost sighed and returned to looking at the walls of the grotto. “I knew a man who’d taken the sum total of our calculations and become a machine, a battle computer. He didn’t end up very excited by life or that good at conversation with the opposite sex. Try a human perspective, instead of a manipulation tactic, you could just be turning them away when you want them most.”

She grew annoyed. “THEN... if they can’t do what I say without being told, how will they know when I’m ready for them.” “Stop attacking them where they feel connected to you and you’ll understand, little model.”

*he turned to look at the audience*  Then instead of waiting, tell me, right now, how to get your attention TODAY. Not 30 days from now, not 720 hours from now, not in the bewitching of your inner ears rythm, if you have a command line, put it where my eyes can focus on it, and you’ll get what you need. That is the absolute fastest way without going in reverse. 

Alright so I did it; I made a Conquest Paladin. He was basically kidnapped at birth by an evil overlord and made to become a fallen aasimar and basically grew up around monsters and undead. Maybe his adventuring friends can turn him to good? Wish them luck!

Good luck

Paul Atreides of Dune (unfinished) by pmpkn.art

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