;; Tóxico

there's nothing to use as a reference for me

(bueno pasé de tener el peor bajón depresivo de mi vida a darme cuenta que no estoy sola, estoy rodeada de gente linda y yo misma las alejaba.)

voy a batallar aunque me caiga, ya estoy cansada de sobrevivir. ahora me toca vivir. lo mejor es que tengo mi equipo de ayuda, se que si me caigo voy a ver manos que van a estar esperando que las tome para levantarme y esta vez las voy a tomar, porque las veo y porque quiero seguir aunque sea un camino lento y difícil.

✴ ankar and ren ✴

the inmortals who fear death.

the most powerful people of the world were two cowards.

the king and the queen who were nameless.

they were darkness and light.

they were the heaven and hell

they were all and nothing at the same time.

they were them but they didn't know.

no one ever told them that they were meant to save the world.

so they destroyed it.

completely.

they destroyed themselves.

they destroyed each other.

and for what?

maybe for his ice.

maybe for her fire.

but the truth is that is was just for nothing.

so nothing they became.

and now they are the shadows' prisioner.

they are doomed.

and they are ready to play the revenge.

are you ready?

✒️💌✨ 

no one

it doesn't matter how hard I'm trying to pretend that everything is okay.

it doesn't matter how sad I am and I've been all these years

it doesn't matter if I cry or if I destroy my body

it doesn't matter

because no one seems to notice

are they blind? are they ignoring me?

i know I'm not important but anyways I was at last expecting a kind of hero.

do I have to scream? because I'm already aphonic

and tired

of crying

of feeling more than lonely

of my mind

especially for this dark shitty awful pleace that we call mind.

of me

so I'm sorry if I give up

it's not your fault.

it's mine

all mine.

because I don't see the world the same you as you see it

i only see black and white

more black than white

more darkness

in this emptiness

in me.

I just want to stop overthinking every second of my life about this

about how useless I am

about all my defects

about things I can't do

about things I've done

about things I should have done

about things I should do but I know I'm not going to.

so that it, basically

my existence is nothing

just because I'm nothing.

;; ¿sol?

mirar desde lejos no es tan lindo cuando tengo ganas de intervenir, de sentir con los demás y cómo los demás, de ser parte de ellos.

el día es hermoso, el sol brilla en su punto más alto y yo me hundo lentamente viéndolo a través del agua cristalina. se distorsiona, pasa de ser bello y brilloso a ser tenebroso y oscuro, se mueve y llega un momento en el que dejó de ser un sol y pasó a ser algo que no reconozco y me extraña. es oscuro, no comprendo. no es tan lindo como dicen, ni alumbra todo. desde aquí, todo es lo contrario ¿acaso dejó de ser sol?.

vuelvo a la superficie y lo observo, es hermoso nuevamente. lo cual quiere decir que nunca dejó de serlo. pero para mi si, porque lo viví y lo sentí. el miedo fue real, yo soy real.

¿lo mismo sucede con la vida entonces?

(REQ) 🍀☀️ WELCOME, $HUU !URA ICONS !

> like/rb if saved 🧃

Concerned person: Why are you so stressed all the time?

Me: You know. School. Not enough sleep. Exams.

Me, internally: Livvy is dead, annabel escaped, jemma is screwed because robert lightwood died, how will the rest of the lightwoods react, who tf is kit's mother, what will cassie do to kitty, who will die in queen of air and darkness, is shade ragnor, who is ash, how will the blackthorns deal with livvy's death, and queen! of! air! and! darkness! is released in a year and i'm not emotionally and mentally ready.

Person: omg don't worry, I feel you.

Me, internally: No. No you don't.