Currrrseee Youu...

the amount of people in the replies saying “what career” lmao

Damn I wish I could order these

Bad bad thoughts tw

I'm honestly gonna shoot myself someday. I really like myself, honestly I'm really cool. But I want to die so bad. I also want to kill someone so bad.

I really get this. I've actually said this before, obviously not word for word, but I have said this.

"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I can't be nice!" -Me

I don't have aspd (at least I've never been tested or been tested positive for it) but I really get this. I make good relationships and do good things not because I feel like it but because I know it's profitable for me in the future. I've been told that's a bad thing, but I do enjoy being around the people I've formed relationships with so I-don't-know-whatever.

I will never FEEL affective empathy.

I will never FEEL guilt or shame.

I will never FEEL compassion or sympathy.

Just like my mom, dad, mom's mom, aunts and uncles and cousins, and more.

So many in our family seem incapable, no matter how well raised.

Yet my ACTIONS are more GOOD then the average person that says they feel so much affective empathy, care, compassion, guilt

Think of it. People's guilt can trick them to thinking they are good just because they feel bad...even if they don't put in the effort to improve, keep doing the harm.

People's empathy can make them overwhelmed by suffering to the point they either do nothing or outright push for "quick fix" to stop seeing it, like removal of benches or spikes cause homeless.

People's compassion gives thoughts and prayers more so then helpful actions.

I on the other hand feel powerful helping someone when i knew without me likely no help or suffer worse (like by peoples bad advice)

I see the long term prisoners dilemma and know it's in my selfish hearted interest...to act helpfully, forgiving, but not a pushover. Transport, science, art, knowledge, stability, less death, garbage cleaning, economic stability. Long term for it all and how all connected means i ACT helpful and kind will always result in benefits i want. And I'm not slowed down by FEELING those things.

I may be the "psychopath" as I've been so called cause genetic aspd. But all that matters is ACTIONS.

Your EMOTIONS do not make you good or bad, they just are.

And appearing and viewed as good are much different then acting good acts.

I have remembered I am a very disgusting woman

Do you have a favorite disease?

Sorry for taking a year to send this out.

I personally am not well versed in the study of disease, but whatever. I like the word syphilis and I think sexually transmitted diseases are horrifying because you can pretty easily get them and slip them in people's food and such.

You're such a creature...

I guess we're making intro posts now

DNI: Idk regular shit but eh whatever say what you want to me trash I'll delete it

If you know me irl you're legally contractually required to send me an ask

Call me Demon or Aster or Scarlet

Have a good day. I probably won't talk much and I'll repost MHA shit and other stuff.

TW suicidal and self harming

Blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood

Haha it isn't a word anymore and now it's funny. Anyways I'm such a loser I should just die. Uhh my fault I'm sorry.

I'm ◼️◼️◼️◼️ ◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️ or Aster ◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️ (haha lol lmao) Depending on who you ask.

She's pretty nice, right? Smart but complacent and unable to use it. Guts and blood. I wish I could open up my stomach to the air. I wish I could feel my life slipping away as my intestines slipped out, slowly at first, before they just all slap-plop onto the floor. Blood on the ground, tears on my face, love for me somewhere-nowhere. That's an oxymoron, if you didn't know.

Anyways. I'm suicidal (yo). I'm also full of vocal stims and mental instability and other unwellness. Not cool. (yo)

Honestly I'm boutta spill my shit all over my Tumbl r.

Biting my nails with my canines like I'm fascinated with something to an incredible degree