You Blink And Suddenly It’s One Am And You Need To Be Up By Six.

….

I feel the need to say again, that I am in fact, NOT a Tahitian clam, and don’t produce pearls, much less from my cooter, and would appreciate it if I wasn’t treated as such.

Also to that nurse who told me the speculum would ‘tickle’, WHAT THE FJUCK FREAK SHIT DO YOU GET UP TO IN YOUR SPARE TIME THAT, THAT SENSATION SPECIFICALLY IS A “TICKLE”?!?!

Anyways I unfortunately have to get it done AGAIN because the nurse disregarded me telling them that hey; I was on my period, and that I might be bleeding too heavily for them to get a good cell sample.

But what do I know, right? It’s not like this uterus of mine is attached to me specifically or anything…

I got my first pap done today.

If I never see another speculum again it’ll be too fucking soon.

I love these funky lil guys I have some

How about some neocaridina shrimp in lots of fun colors? Thanks 🫶 :)

You can’t convince me this man isn’t strong as hell. That’s the only decent explanation we get.

He hit the gym so hard his stomach acid can break down glass now

Aight so last year I finally got into Ace Attorney and I shared my insanity on my priv. I was shook, I think by the time phoenix got tasered at the police station and no one cared, and friends informed me his insane injuries keep getting WILDER.

So, I started to keep a list in my notes app. here it is.

they were NOT kidding

NOTE: Spoilers for all 6 main AA games, and there's a separate section for the Layton crossover

Use this information wisely

Y’know what? Fuck you.

*deoxidizes your ribose*

They unfortunately just are favorable tools of the wealthy and powerful. And therefore are amplified to sound above our collective voices

No, that’s usually the one time I am mad about it. I’m patient with everything else but phones and just not checking your blindspots are my driving pet peeves. I’ll live with everything else.

Put it down. You’re driving babes. Phone is off limits, I promise you will live. Please check the lane next to you before you try to merge and run me off the fucking road, (this has happened actually I wish I was joking, worse, it was a service van and the dude didn’t even stop after nearly killing me), I would rather there be a body to find when I die and not an assorted metal chocolate box of mangled pieces of flesh, thanks.

Ideally, I wouldn’t be anywhere near a moving metal death trap when I die. That’d be real nice. But if I do, I want to be buried under a tree.

God I wish I had some lmao

shoutout to friends btw. best thing earth has to offer

God not yet but I want to

like sex is nice and all but have you ever woken up to multiple lenghty comments on AO3?

Oh GOD I got fire.

Yikes. Now it REALLY depends on the situation. Kind fitting though. Was always told I’m a bit of a spitfire/firecracker

You discover that you have control over a certain thing, as determined by spinning this wheel. We're talking full-on magical girl/superhero/supervillain/your label of choice control.

You make me feel seen with that “I hate this pose lemme redraw it fifty times” in the beginning. Thank god I’m not the only one who does that.

Aquarium date!

Total work time 109 min