I Finished Dungeon Meshi And I Just Need To Doodle The Sillies Being Silly To Cope

eldest daughter

your round cheeks, a smile all baby teeth before you wore glasses, you looked just like me you spoke in little whispers, so gentle and sweet i taught you letters, excited for you to read

i cannot forget how little you were, so small but you grew so fast and you got tall enough for rollercoasters and water slides old enough for movies and motorcycle rides

old enough to be beat till you sobbed for mercy older and wronged, shivering in fury older still and afraid, running faster than tears this is how i began to fear it still haunts me after all these years

so i shush you when you cry so i threaten when you fight so i stayed awake at night so i learned how we survive

hush little baby, don’t say a word mama might come, but i got here first i know you’re scared, i know it hurts but if she comes, it will hurt worse

i age too fast, but still too slow to keep you safe from every blow i failed so i pray you hold your own

but when i beg forgiveness, you say what for you only know peacetime, never war i think i’m glad you don’t remember all

the bloodshed and the slaughter let it die with the eldest daughter

One of the newer daycare teachers at my center was complaining about a specific child - who has a lot going on we’re still trying to map out, but definitely some type on developmentally divergent on top of attachment issues with their single mom.

Anyway, said kid, a little under 4 years old, was resisting doing art, which was really upsetting the one one teacher when the other (who’s worked with this kid for over 2 years) was basically like “Ok, not today, this isn’t a good day for you.”

One thing I do when I find kids at the center resisting my instructions is asking “Why” - on me.

Why am I asking this child to do something?

“What they are doing isn’t safe” and “What they are doing is harming another child” are obviously good reasons for me to pursue my point.

“Maintain structure” is, honestly, generally a good reason, where “structure” is the regular rules and expectations of the class and schedule.

Having a predictable structure helps most children feel safe, because they don’t have to be the adult and decide what is going to happen - their teachers are the ones that set boundaries for safety, have their physical needs met, and create expectations that allow them to develop patience and delayed gratification.

But forcing a child to participate in an activity? Not just “now it is art, because we do art every day” but “you must do art??”

Asking my “Why, what is the child getting out of this” devolves down after a few levels to:

The child has to learn to comply over their own mental health.

Even the more experienced teacher who let the one kid sit out and rest from art is irritated when children refuse to sit quietly during Circle Time, which pisses me off because all the trainings I’ve taken on Circle Time say “have a quiet activity optional for children who don’t want to sit and participate.”

Sadly, as I was discussing this with my other Autistic coworker at closing, we agreed that “Conformity despite mental health” is a primary rule in modern education, and both of us despite being aware of the obvious issues with this are powerless to even motivate major change within our own center without taking “Room Lead” roles.

Which we both agree would break either of us. 😓

Autistic culture is randomly switching your conversation style mid sentence. Specifically going from the most eloquent person you’ve ever met to talking like the child of a hill billy and a british pop star.

I found this camera on the subway and look what was inside...

A second senshi has hit the fucking tower

Yknow how people say they picture senshi and it helps them cook? I think I’m doing something wrong (DO NOT DO THIS)

About Boston Dynamics’ Spot pinching points diagram

People aren't joking when they say progress isn't linear... I hate it here

Oh I don't like how my parents are treating me... But I guess it's normal. I'll try to be better :)

Hm. Being better didn't work. Maybe I'll try again. :)

Okay maybe I'm just having some trouble. They could be nicer about it though

Okay. They're definitely mistreating me. Someone help?

Hm. Maybe I should run away. Maybe if they find out how much they're hiring me, they'll stop.

They know... They don't care. I wish someone would come and save me.

Maybe if I tell them again, they'll care this time and change?

They still don't care. I'll leave at 18. I can make it.

Not sure if I can make it that long, but at least it's not as bad as it was before.

Maybe I was just overreacting and it's not that bad. It could've been way worse

It was pretty bad. Once I move out, I'm cutting them off.

But I can't abandon them.... They're my family...

But I wouldn't let my friends be treated that way. I should stick to the plan

The plan didn't work, but I still plan to cut contact.

But I've been a burden for a while. The least I could do is repay them and stick around. It doesn't matter if I'd let my friends do it. They're not as awful as me

They're back at it.... I'm leaving... When I finally get the money

Oh so you're just going to use them until you get on your feet and then abandon them????

KOSA IS GETTING FORCED THROUGH ATTACHED ARE SCRIPTS FOR EITHER A DEM OR REP SENATOR CALL NOW PLEASE