Sjp.columbia: Having To Constantly Post Graphic Images Of Mutilated And Dead Palestinian Bodies In Order

Family, teachers, friends of my parents, parents of my friends, doctors. ..

I was not secretive about any of what I was going through. I'd been told that if anyone ever hurt me to tell an adult and I did that every single time. I would find an adult I thought could be safe, I'd tell them my experience and I'd wait for it to get better. It never did.

Is "irrational" anger a trauma response?

I only feel like it might be because I'm always bothered when this person enters the room. I'm almost enraged when they try to speak to me, more often than not. I try to keep it to myself only because I know I would look utterly insane otherwise.

It's almost like I've gaslit myself into thinking I've been overly dramatic this whole time and nothing they ever did was so terrible. Then, I feel guilty for being mad at them, even though I look back in it and see how much it affected me or how badly my younger self wanted to leave and cut contact.

I almost feel like I'm losing my mind just thinking about this.

If you don’t know your score, take the test here

Spin it into webs and stick it on a cone. then you'll have

✨daddy's beard✨

cannot believe ya'll waited this long to tell me about the DADDY brand of french sugar

Explaining your autism symptoms (especially as someone who doesn't need much assistance in day to day life) is kind of difficult??? But like why???? When you try to say it out loud, it mostly sounds like normal, everyday occurrences.

"Oh, sun light bothers me" "Hey, same! It bothers a lot of people!"

"Too many noises at once will bother me and make me irritable." "Dude, literally everyone feels like that. Too much noise is obviously annoying."

WHY IS IT LIKE THIS??? AND WHY IS IT SIMILAR WITH ADHD

Tw: Mentions of COCSA, Sexual harassment, groomers, and similar things

Cw: vent/rant

It's strange how things that you felt just a little weird about when it happened turn out to be more serious than you thought once you get older. I'm not nearly as scarred as some of the people who went through similar things, but it's weird... I always thought I was one of the few exceptions.

Majority of afabs have been through sexual harassment and/or assault at some point. not me though.. not until I actually thought about it from a sensible point of view.

I wasn't aware that my classmates mocking me the way that did could be sexual harassment, despite how explicit it was.

I didn't understand that the "game" I had been peer pressured into playing as a 6-8 year old could be considered assault. We were both kids and my clothes were never breached but that doesn't make it any less disgusting or distressing. He's in prison now for other things. He has to serve multiple sentences in various prisons, all for unrelated things, but his odd behavior didn't stop at me. It didn't stop when we were kids. He tried to hook up with a 13 year old. The three of us are cousins. The two of us were 18-19. I almost had an incident before him, but I wasn't at the age that I would be afraid of losing a friend, so I told on the kid before it happened.

I had multiple run-ins with groomers online, and the only things stopping me from getting sucked further in were a deep hatred of my body, fear of being a registered sex offender if I ever sent them pictures, and a general fear of the pictures being leaked or my parents finding out and beating my ass. Once they figured out I wouldn't give them what they wanted, they usually left.

Even before I understood pedophilia, my parents allegedly noticed various times when random men on the street would approach me or look at me with a hunger in their eyes or just generally act suspicious near me.

And even outside of harassment and assault, there was still sex in my life far before it needed to be. My parents shouldn't have left their porn in the DVD player when they sent us to watch a movie in their room. They shouldn't have put the porn right next to the normal DVDs. Their 2-3 year old shouldn't have been able to terrorize his older siblings by playing porn when we were supposed to be watching a silly little fish movie.

I hate how normalized some of these things are. We need better education about these subjects. No one likes having suppressed memories and trauma. No one likes having these things happen to them. No one likes not being able to articulate their feelings to speak out about it. No one likes finally being hit with the fact that they probably have some sexual trauma at 2 am in their 20s. It shouldn't be hard to go through life without some fucking freak tainting my brain.

Reblog if you stand against order, civilization, and goodness itself

*doom music starts to play* I actually kindof like scheduling these kinds of appointments now...

but seriously Fellas, don't forget to schedule a pap smear every couple of years just in case. If you still have a cervix you can still get cervical cancer. ilu

this has been a psa