I Don't Want To Be A Productive Member Of Society. I Want To Make My Art, Play My Games, And Rest. Every

an impossible reality

skipping the first part because parent

 Desensitizing and normalizing abuse

This person has me seeing a lot of media with abuse in it, and compares it to their behaviour.

This person talks about abuse that is worse than what they're doing, to remind me how good they are in comparison.

I feel like I need to accept their views and be understanding to them or else I am a bad person

I've seen this person act awfully towards other people and I got used to the idea that it's normal and it might be me one day

I know this person thinks horrible things about other people, and I'm scared they'll think the same about me

This person thinks that not being tough and enduring abuse would make me a weakling

This person shows me that being a little rough and violent is just a joke and not a big deal

This person likes telling jokes in which they make fun of someone by humiliating or insulting them, and is convinces me it's just good fun

This person doesn't think their actions would affect someone strongly

This person doesn't seem to feel much guilt when they hurt me, even when I would be horrified to hurt someone else this bad

if someone complains about their behaviour, then that person is called oversensitive, or a killjoy

This person talks about horrible things they've been thru, even when i'm too young to perceive or understand it

This person thinks people who complain about abuse and violence are bad and weak, and just need to endure it and get over it already

This person thinks abuse victims are themselves to blame for participating

This person thinks victims of abuse secretly want it

Guilt-tripping and punishing

I feel like a bad and selfish person if I say no to them

This person explained to me that everyone else does this kind of thing too, and I am stupid if I refuse to do it

This person convinced me if I didn't accept what they do to me I would become spoiled, selfish and rotten, useless person and a burden 

This person says what they do is "tough love" and it's for my own good

I feel like I'm hurting this person if I don't give them what they need (want)

I owe obedience to this person, I am afraid to fail them

I feel if I don't do or think as this person says, I immediately lose all value in their eyes

If I try to resist this person, they compare me to everyone else who hurt them and make me feel horrible about myself

If I say no to this person, I will become useless in their eyes

If I try to resist this person, they will punish me, and start to resent me

No matter how much I resist this person, it makes things worse for me

No matter how much I resist this person, they wear me down and exhaust me until I can't fight them anymore

If I say no to this person, they ask again and again until I say yes, or make me do it by force

I feel too weak to resist them and I think it's my fault

I know I should resist this person, but I feel like they're only one who love me and I can't bear to lose them

I invested so much time and love in this person, I can't bear risking them leave me if I keep resisting them now

If I resist or confront this person, they ignore me for days/weeks and I feel they hate me

I don't feel like I have a choice but to keep doing what I'm told by this person

If I don't do what I'm told, things might escalate into violence and I am too scared to risk it

I'm scared of what they'll do to me, or themselves if I resist

this person explained to me that I'm silly for trying to resist them and what they want me to do is the right thing and I should do it, even if I feel unwilling

this person insists it's not a big deal what they're doing to me and that I shouldn't overreact to it

Isolation and secrecy

I feel uncomfortable telling anyone about what's happening between me and this person in private

I'm scared if I tell anyone, they wouldn't understand, or they would get angry at me for allowing for it to happen

I feel if I told someone, I would be blamed for everything that happened

I don't have many friends or people who would care about me

I'm scared if I told someone, the person doing this to me would make sure I was blamed

I don't want to be disloyal to this person, I know telling someone would make them look bad

I feel like I must keep everything a secret 

this person told me not to tell anyone

this person made threats to me if I told someone

I'm scared of what this person might do to me, or themselves, if I told someone

This person convinced me to get distance from my friends and family, and to not trust other people with anything that happens between us

Rules and terrorizing

I am not allowed to challenge this person, or doubt anything they say. Whatever they say is the truth must be accepted as such, even if I secretly think they might be wrong

I'm not allowed to make this person angry, or I might end up in more pain than I can handle

I'm not allowed to leave or abandon this person, it would make me feel so guilty it would be unbearable

I was allowed to defend myself from this person at the start but I'm forced to give in eventually

I've known this person to do awful things and they might do it to me

I'm aware of how much worse this person could do to me, they keep reminding me to be grateful their behaviour didn't escalate further and how it could

Arguing with this person escalates into insults, humiliation, threats and blackmailing

I'm scared of what this person might reveal to others about me

this person threatened to commit suicide or hurt/murder me if resist

I feel cornered and obliged to go along with this person's demands, to consider otherwise fills me with terror and guilt

I'm terrified of being abandoned by this person, even though being with them is very painful as well

I feel guilty about the things I've allowed this person to do to me, but I don't feel able stopping them from doing more in the future

33...its too much

Am I being groomed to accept abuse? Checklist

 This is the checklist for recognizing if you’re groomed into accepting abuse, this checklist doesn’t cover sexual grooming, and for sexual grooming click here. Bold the points that are true for you, italicize if you’re unsure. Even if sexual grooming isn’t covered here, the same methods are used in sexual grooming as well.

Creating an illusion of bond (this step can be skipped if they’re already a part of family and expect trust by default)

This person makes me feel important and special

This person claims they feel admiration and affection for me because of my maturity and intelligence, and that’s why they’re drawn to me even though it might look inappropriate

I am surprised this person would feel anything for me (because of age-difference, they’re a teacher/adult or otherwise authority figure, or because nobody else in my life thinks I’m worthy being cared for)

This person gives me special privileges

This person tells me personal secrets, and I am surprised they trust me with them

This person acts like they already knew me when they just met me, and acts like we’re very close already, even when there wasn’t much time spent together

This person considers me a part of their life very fast and I am flattered by it

This person was very quick to declare affection and love for me

This person shares intimate details of their life with me and I feel special for it

This person makes me feel like they’re the only one who really loves me

This person said they were the only one who really loves me

This person knows things about me nobody else knows

This person makes me feel at ease to talk about my trauma, even when I don’t feel like I could tell anyone else, they don’t judge me

This person seems to think the world of me right away

This person calls me affectionate nicknames that don’t match the length or type of our relationship

This person gives me presents and gifts out of nowhere and I feel indebted and grateful

I feel indebted to this person, even if I didn’t want the gifts they gave me

This person was there for me when no-one else was and I wont abandon them no matter what

This person praises and compliments me for everything I do they want of me, but their praise stops whenever I want to go against their word

Desensitizing and normalizing abuse

This person has me seeing a lot of media with abuse in it, and compares it to their behaviour.

This person talks about abuse that is worse than what they’re doing, to remind me how good they are in comparison.

I feel like I need to accept their views and be understanding to them or else I am a bad person

I’ve seen this person act awfully towards other people and I got used to the idea that it’s normal and it might be me one day

I know this person thinks horrible things about other people, and I’m scared they’ll think the same about me

This person thinks that not being tough and enduring abuse would make me a weakling

This person shows me that being a little rough and violent is just a joke and not a big deal

This person likes telling jokes in which they make fun of someone by humiliating or insulting them, and is convinces me it’s just good fun

This person doesn’t think their actions would affect someone strongly

This person doesn’t seem to feel much guilt when they hurt me, even when I would be horrified to hurt someone else this bad

if someone complains about their behaviour, then that person is called oversensitive, or a killjoy

This person talks about horrible things they’ve been thru, even when i’m too young to perceive or understand it

This person thinks people who complain about abuse and violence are bad and weak, and just need to endure it and get over it already

This person thinks abuse victims are themselves to blame for participating

This person thinks victims of abuse secretly want it

Guilt-tripping and punishing

I feel like a bad and selfish person if I say no to them

This person explained to me that everyone else does this kind of thing too, and I am stupid if I refuse to do it

This person convinced me if I didn’t accept what they do to me I would become spoiled, selfish and rotten, useless person and a burden 

This person says what they do is “tough love” and it’s for my own good

I feel like I’m hurting this person if I don’t give them what they need (want)

I owe obedience to this person, I am afraid to fail them

I feel if I don’t do or think as this person says, I immediately lose all value in their eyes

If I try to resist this person, they compare me to everyone else who hurt them and make me feel horrible about myself

If I say no to this person, I will become useless in their eyes

If I try to resist this person, they will punish me, and start to resent me

No matter how much I resist this person, it makes things worse for me

No matter how much I resist this person, they wear me down and exhaust me until I can’t fight them anymore

If I say no to this person, they ask again and again until I say yes, or make me do it by force

I feel too weak to resist them and I think it’s my fault

I know I should resist this person, but I feel like they’re only one who love me and I can’t bear to lose them

I invested so much time and love in this person, I can’t bear risking them leave me if I keep resisting them now

If I resist or confront this person, they ignore me for days/weeks and I feel they hate me

I don’t feel like I have a choice but to keep doing what I’m told by this person

If I don’t do what I’m told, things might escalate into violence and I am too scared to risk it

I’m scared of what they’ll do to me, or themselves if I resist

this person explained to me that I’m silly for trying to resist them and what they want me to do is the right thing and I should do it, even if I feel unwilling

this person insists it’s not a big deal what they’re doing to me and that I shouldn’t overreact to it

Isolation and secrecy

I feel uncomfortable telling anyone about what’s happening between me and this person in private

I’m scared if I tell anyone, they wouldn’t understand, or they would get angry at me for allowing for it to happen

I feel if I told someone, I would be blamed for everything that happened

I don’t have many friends or people who would care about me

I’m scared if I told someone, the person doing this to me would make sure I was blamed

I don’t want to be disloyal to this person, I know telling someone would make them look bad

I feel like I must keep everything a secret 

this person told me not to tell anyone

this person made threats to me if I told someone

I’m scared of what this person might do to me, or themselves, if I told someone

This person convinced me to get distance from my friends and family, and to not trust other people with anything that happens between us

Rules and terrorizing

I am not allowed to challenge this person, or doubt anything they say. Whatever they say is the truth must be accepted as such, even if I secretly think they might be wrong

I’m not allowed to make this person angry, or I might end up in more pain than I can handle

I’m not allowed to leave or abandon this person, it would make me feel so guilty it would be unbearable

I was allowed to defend myself from this person at the start but I’m forced to give in eventually

I’ve known this person to do awful things and they might do it to me

I’m aware of how much worse this person could do to me, they keep reminding me to be grateful their behaviour didn’t escalate further and how it could

Arguing with this person escalates into insults, humiliation, threats and blackmailing

I’m scared of what this person might reveal to others about me

this person threatened to commit suicide or hurt/murder me if resist

I feel cornered and obliged to go along with this person’s demands, to consider otherwise fills me with terror and guilt

I’m terrified of being abandoned by this person, even though being with them is very painful as well

I feel guilty about the things I’ve allowed this person to do to me, but I don’t feel able stopping them from doing more in the future

If you bolded and italicized 4 or more of the points of any but the first category, you have underwent some form of grooming. If you bolded and italicized more than 25 of the points, you have been thru extensive and extremely malicious grooming. Anyone put thru this would find themselves helpless and cornered, it is not your fault if you’ve been subjected to this, and you did not attract it into your life.

If you bolded a lot of things in the first category, but not the others, and this relationship is still new, be careful because they might start doing the second phase of grooming at one point. (If the relationship between you and this person already lasted for years and never escalated into any abusive or coercive behaviour, you can ignore that advice).

Sleeping under the mattress?

Did any other neurodivergent kids do this? I can’t be the only one. 

So sick of dog motif what about cat motif.

I love you but we don't love the same. I can't be near you when you want me to be. Your love is smothering and your need to keep me safe is trapping me. I'm my own person but I don't know how to show you that. I lash out and hurt you even though I don't mean to. I need you to move slowly around me or I'll bolt. I love you, even though I don't say it. If you stay still I'll sit next to you, and even though we don't understand each other we can be together like that.

Anti-voting rhetoric will be the death of the left. Literally.

Not a single fucking Republican voted to protect roe. It was fucking overturned in the first place bc trump got three Supreme Court appointments.

Every fucking thing wrong in this country is almost certainly the result of Republicans being in power. In 2020, Texas cut half of the polling places in black neighborhoods, and doubled them in white ones, regardless of population. It was Republicans bitching about mail in voting, and constantly, constantly fearmonger about voter fraud. Literally, their platform is about making civil rights harder to practice.

Would you like to know why? It’s because Republican politicians know better than anyone that higher voter participation means higher republican loss.

But what do I see from the online left, champions of the oppressed?

“Voting doesn’t do anything, the parties are the same, the system is rigged, etc, etc”

Don’t sit here and tell me you give a fuck about marginalized people if you aren’t ready to march your ass to the voting booth and vote out the party actively stripping their rights away.

Protest, donate, community build, unionize, and vote, vote, vote.

By the time direct action is the only option, it will be too fucking late.

Sometimes I’m reminded that in universe Chilchuck is an actually influential figure who like. Made huge advancements for his people and community. Like as in gave them rights and protections. And who is widely known by half-foots because of that. Like. He’s not just some guy.

Idk For some reason that just makes his role in canon really funny to me. Like this older, extremely important and accomplished figure is just willingly putting himself thru it for the sake of this random autistic 26 year old.

Squirmy boi

Does anyone else get that feeling like they need to scream and run and squirm and break stuff? Like you’re trying to break free from your own body? What the hell is it?

Dudes shouldn't have to prove themselves by having spartan greyscale homes with dollar store rubber shower curtains and a mattress on the floor. Do you know what life is like with linen

guys i actually beg of you to not let palestine become an unpleasant flashback, a transient tumblr trend, a hasbeen subject that just faded away. as an arab—and specifically iraqi—girl, i know what it feels like to have family displaced all over the world as a result of western imperialism. i know what it feels like to not be able to step foot into your homeland because it’s no longer safe. as an american iraqi, raised in the us and insulated from my roots, it wasn’t until last summer that i was able to visit iraq for the first time, and even then my family was worried for my safety—in my own blood country. although nothing like what palestinians are experiencing right now, it might be the tiniest semblance of what it feels like to watch your country disintegrate in front of you.

and this is a universal arab experience. i volunteer weekly at a refugee center that serves middle eastern refugees, and every day i see the longing in their eyes when they speak of where they hail from. it’s safe to say that we will be getting a wave of palestinian refugees very soon: just another generation of arabs who can’t inhabit their own country.

arab culture is so rich, so profound, so beautiful. i am tired of being told by the world—through literal genocide—that it doesn’t mean anything. please never let this be forgotten. free palestine. free palestine. free palestine.

Well obviously I can’t have chronic fatigue, that’s a real problem for real disabled people that’s diagnosed by doctors probably. Clearly I just have some sort of perpetual exhaustion issue, that is also almost certainly my fault somehow