🦇 TEENVAMPIRE!JIMIN HEADCANNONS

🛹 SKATERBOY!JIMIN HEADCANNONS

warnings: rodrick heffley-anna coleman (freaky friday) crossover. set somewhere between 1994-2006. he’s also never beating the bitch allegations (no version of jimin is). mentions of smoking, etc. IT GETS A LITTLE SPICY DOWN THERE! reader discretion is advised.

lulu speaks: aka what boredom and loneliness does to a girl. also yes ik vapes weren’t popularized until later but the sentence sounded good 💔

★ skaterboy!jimin who is rarely ever spotted in class.

★ skaterboy!jimin who always has some stupid little injury. bruised hip from trying to ollie a shopping cart. split knuckles from a rough landing off his stolen skateboard.

★ skaterboy!jimin who grins with blood on his teeth like it’s a flex, the painful aftermath of a stupid fight.

★ skaterboy!jimin who drives a beat-up hand-me-down car that smells like weed, sweat, and cinnamon gum. it’s a mess inside—burnt CDs everywhere, ripped seats, duct-taped glovebox—but it’s so him.

★ skaterboy!jimin who once kissed you in a gas station parking lot while Nirvana blasted from his car stereo. it tasted like peach vape and rebellion. you swore you wouldn’t let it happen again. It happened the next day.

★ skaterboy!jimin keeps a polaroid of you in his wallet, maybe half-naked. when you ask, he just shrugs and says, “you looked hot. why wouldn’t I keep it?”

★ skaterboy!jimin who once showed up at your window completely drenched from the rain, hoodie soaked through, bruised and breathless. no explanation. just, “i needed to see you.”

★ skaterboy!jimin who climbs through your window like he’s never heard the concept of a door.

★ skaterboy!jimin who keeps his helmet covered in stickers. you put a sparkly heart one on it once. he pretended to hate it. never took it off.

★ skaterboy!jimin who’s flicking a cigarette off the curb one second, the next he’s curled up in your lap like a cat, nuzzling into your tummy with his busted-up knuckles holding your thigh. “only sleep good when I’m with you,” he murmurs.

★ skaterboy!jimin who loves when you’re laid out on his bed in his band tee, legs over his shoulders, his grip bruising your hips as he devours you—eyes dark, lips slick, hair messy from the way your hands gripped for dear life.

★ skaterboy!jimin who had crawled in through your bedroom door at midnight on a school night. his excuse? he just “missed you”. bullshit. he had you laying down on your own bed, chain dangling from his neck as his arms propped himself up form either side of you.

★ skaterboy!jimin who was very obviously hated by your parents.

★ skaterboy!jimin who is kinda dumb in other subjects, brilliant in art class.

★ skaterboy!jimin who will doodle on his desk, your hand, or his jeans—skulls, roses, hearts with your initials in them.

★ skaterboy!jimin who would turn the world upside down for you. mention someone giving you a hard time? he’s already cracking his knuckles. doesn’t care who it is—he’ll throw hands and come back grinning with a split lip like it was worth it.

★ skaterboy!jimin who steals little trinkets just to give them to you. a cutesy keychain, a lighter, a lollipop. he offers it to you like it’s precious, saying, “this made me think of you,”

★ skaterboy!jimin who only shows face at school so he can be around you. carrying your things for you, doodling you from the other end of the classroom, begging you to skip class with him—only for you two to sneak into an empty bathroom stall to makeout.

★ skaterboy!jimin who is a little rough around the edges. not everyone’s cup of tea, but he was yours, and that was all either one of you cared about.

lulu speaks (pt2): ok it’s official i’m in love w this loser. cai bot coming soon bc unfortunately i’m such a slut for him 💔

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📚 NERD!JIMIN HEADCANNONS (2)

warnings: literally non lol. fluff, yearning, pining, slight jealousy and angst if you squint and cover your eyes. he has a PHHHHAAAATTTTTT crush on reader. cutie pie.

lulu speaks: i recommend you read PART 1 before continuing. highly recommended, not 100% necessary.

✎ nerd!jimin who doodles tiny marvel logos in the margins of his notes and once drew your name in comic sans.

✎ nerd!jimin who acts like he doesn’t know how to share a word document, just so you lean over and touch his computer. he’s an honor roll student. he knows how to share a word document.

✎ nerd!jimin who is so unfortunately obvious with his crush on you that professors give him cheeky little side eyes when you interact with him.

✎ nerd!jimin who carries a mini glasses cleaning kit in a tiny pouch. there’s a spray bottle of cleaner and two different microfiber cloths.

✎ nerd!jimin who runs a reddit account where he corrects marvel lore inaccuracies but logs out in shame every time he gets upvoted.

✎ nerd!jimin who said “you look really pret— uh— prepared! f-for class. your notes! are nice.” and then didn’t speak again for two days.

✎ nerd!jimin who knows your laugh by heart. not just the sound—but the types. your real laugh. your fake laugh. your giggle when you're trying not to laugh in class. he could give a TED talk about it.

✎ nerd!jimin who once walked past your classroom while you were giving a presentation and literally backed up to stand by the door so he could listen in. heart pounding. smiling like an idiot every time you made a joke.

✎ nerd!jimin who prays you’ll ask him for help in class. he wants to explain the quadratic formula to you. he wants you to say “you’re so smart, jimin.” he’d black out if you did.

✎ nerd!jimin who saw his first marvel movie in theaters at age 10 and it literally altered his brain chemistry. he walked out thinking he was iron man. his mom had to drag him away from the cardboard standee.

✎ nerd!jimin who secretly fantasizes about watching every marvel movie with you in chronological order. on his couch. a blanket, snacks, you asking him questions everytime a new face appears on the screen. him explaining the lore. you leaning on his shoulder during thor: love and thunder.

✎ nerd!jimin who literally forgets how to breathe when you’re near. he has to manually inhale. “okay, jimin. inhale. now smile. no, not like a serial killer. relax. look cool.”

✎ nerd!jimin who gets stupidly jealous way too often. he bites the inside of his cheek and taps his pencil like he’s trying to stab the table. his jealousy doesn’t look explosive—it looks like fidgeting, clenched fists, murmuring “whatever, he’s not even that funny.”

✎ nerd!jimin who gets caught staring at you and does that abnoxiously awkward thing where he looks away too fast and pretends to read. it’s actually a sticky note he wrote to himself that says, “finish chem hw dumbass.”

✎ nerd!jimin who bumps into you in the hallway and apologizes nine times before realizing it was barely a graze. “sorry! i wasn’t looking. my fault. are you okay? i didn’t—okay. sorry. i’ll just—okay. sorry.”

✎ nerd!jimin who organizes his closet by color, category, and season. all his socks are folded into perfect little cubes.

✎ nerd!jimin who fidgets constantly. with his pen, his sleeves, the drawstring of his hoodie. if he’s concentrating, he’ll chew the inside of his cheek or bounce his leg so hard the table shakes.

✎ nerd!jimin who gets the hiccups when he’s nervous. you smile at him for too long? hic. you sit next to him during a lecture? hic. he wants to cry and crawl into his backpack.

✎ nerd!jimin who thinks loving you must be some kind of secret superpower. something he was cursed or blessed with. something that makes every day a little harder—and a lot better.

lulu speaks pt2: hi 👋🏼👋🏼 nobody asked for this but I wanted this to happen. and you can’t stop me. nobody can. never. NEVERRRRR MWAHAHAHAHAHA

cai bot. masterlist. navigation.

LULU ᝰ latina. she/her. bisexual. eng/spa. namjoon biased. jikook bias wreckers. hufflepuff. aquarius. ENTP. cabin 10. multistan. bot maker, wannabe writer.

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⌗ 2019 army ⋆˚꩜｡

⌗ pink namjoon lover ⋆˚꩜｡

⌗ niccolo govender’s situationship ⋆˚꩜｡

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© DEARJOONS 2025

📔 CLASSPRESIDENT!JIMIN HEADCANNONS

warnings: classpresident!jimin x brainsandbrawns!reader. he’s basically a smarter & bitchier tristan dugray. private school au. long time rivals with tension. power couple who isn’t a couple yet but SO should be. rich boy with a pride problem.

lulu speaks: he’s hot i want him BHADDD

✎ classpresident!jimin whose parents are part of the school board, and are the main funders of the school.

✎ classpresident!jimin who ran for class president and won by a landslide. it was mostly because his peers are scared to death of him, and because nobody else even bothered to run against him.

✎ classpresident!jimin who finishes physics tests 20 minutes early and leaves students feeling like idiots just for glancing at their calculator.

✎ classpresident!jimin who will give you detention for being late and then walk you to class himself, smirking the entire time down.

✎ classpresident!jimin who pulls your chair out and holds the door for you, but not for anyone else. ever. if someone points it out, he brushes it off with, “she’s too high-maintenance to be trusted with a door.”

✎ classpresident!jimin who shoots anyone who makes you laugh death stares, but only because he knows he’s never even been close to doing that—and he’ll likely never be.

✎ classpresident!jimin who absolutely sabotages anyone who tries to date you. he grades them harshly on their assignments because he’s a TA, tells teachers they were talking during a fire drill, spreads rumors that could ruin careers, all while you are blissfully unaware.

✎ classpresident!jimin who pretends he doesn’t remember your valentine’s day kiss from 4th grade. (it was a dare. it lasted a second. you definetly forgot about it by now, right???)

✎ classpresident!jimin who pulled strings with the professor to switch out your chem partner because he was too flirty.

✎ classpresident!jimin who remembers how his face used to get all red and his hands used to get all sweaty when he had to sit next to you in 2nd grade.

✎ classpresident!jimin who tried to actually flirt exactly once—you laughed in his face. he played it off, but he actually went home and screamed into his pillow.

✎ classpresident!jimin who has literally NEVER interrupted you when you’re speaking in class. not once. even if you’re wrong, even if he’s dying to correct you. he waits, because you’re the only person he respects at that level.

✎ classpresident!jimin who replies with “make me” evrey time you tell him to shut up.

✎ classpresident!jimin who 100% knows the way you smell. the actual name of your perfume—he looked it up. and now, when he catches whiffs of it in public, his head whips around like a dog hearing a toy jingle.

✎ classpresident!jimin who is in love with you—no matter what he says or how he rolls his eyes. painfully, hopelessly, endlessly in love with you, and he’ll take it to his grave…unless you find out.

lulu speaks pt2: when i found this picture of jimin i was half asleep and literally didn’t know if i was hallucinating or not. i wasn’t!! it’s real 💆🏻‍♀️

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I JUST GOT THE SAME THING

GET THE FUCK OFF MY PAGEE

why’d i think he was billie eilish at first gn

he is the happiest when on stage

sorry i didn’t respond i was talking to my hot nerd tutor art donaldson bot

this might be super niche but one of my most adamant memories of my early wattpad days was THIS FIC. ohmygod. it was one of the first things that came up when i searched “kim namjoon” back in the day, and BOY am i glad i read it.

it’s so beautiful. so prime wattpad era. corny, cheesy, light smut, oh. my. days. love it. i keep it so close to my heart, i reread it like every month. AND ITS PINK HAIR JOON THEMED 🗣️🗣️ i’ve never loved a fic like i love this one.

⚔️ KNIGHT!JIMIN HEADCANNONS

warnings: yearning and pining. knight!jimin x princess!reader. if ur heartstrings aren’t tugging, i haven’t done my job.

lulu speaks: request by @rosequartzz77 !! i actually had a namjoon ver. of this in my drafts as well as a cai bot on my page soooo !! check that out if you’d like.

☾ knight!jimin who drops to one knee and bows his head every time he addresses you, even when you beg him not to be so formal.

☾ knight!jimin who always stands just a little too close, hand on the hilt of his sword, eyes scanning the crowd like he’d fight off an army for you.

☾ knight!jimin who calls you “your highness,” but it burns on his tongue—because he wants to say your name like a lover would.

☾ knight!jimin who bowed so deeply his forehead nearly touched your slipper the day he was appointed your guard. you gently told him to rise—and when his eyes met yours, it was the first time he ever forgot to breathe in full armor. he swore loyalty to the crown, but it was you he meant in his heart.

☾ knight!jimin who sharpens his sword when suitors arrive. you’ll hear the angry thrashing of steel against stone echoing through the ballroom form a nearby armory.

☾ knight!jimin who secretly teaches you how to wield a dagger just in case he isn’t there to protect you someday.

☾ knight!jimin who refuses to leave your side when you’re ill. not for food, not for sleep, not for orders. when you wake, pale and weak, he kisses your hand softly while you pretend to still be asleep.

☾ knight!jimin who turns away when you undress for a royal fitting, face red and jaw tight, even though your lady-in-waiting assures him it’s routine. he simply says, voice low and strained, “i dare not look upon her in such state. ’tis not mine right.”

☾ knight!jimin who would carry you through mud, over rivers, into fire—without hesitation. when your carriage breaks, and you jokingly say “well, someone must carry me,” he doesn’t laugh. he simply lifts you in his arms, voice low: “as thou commandest, my princess.”

☾ knight!jimin who steps in front of a lord’s outstretched hand when the man tries to touch your waist. the man scoffs, “i meant no offense.” and jimin bows, cold and sharp, eyes hard: “and yet, offense was taken. her highness is not to be touched without leave.”

☾ knight!jimin who sees you in a gown stitched in gold. that night, he dreams of unlacing it—only to wake before his lips ever reach your skin.

☾ knight!jimin who walks a step behind you in the gardens, carrying your cloak, your books, a flower he picked just in case you liked the color.

☾ knight!jimin who falls asleep seated at your bedside when you’re unwell, fingers curled loosely around yours on top of the covers, armor long since abandoned.

☾ knight!jimin who trains beside the royal pond, shirt discarded, hoping you’ll pass by and notice—but never bold enough to call you over.

☾ knight!jimin who when you’re away for a week, his bed remains untouched. he trains until his knees give out, collapses in armor, dreams of the way your fingertips grazed his cheek months ago.

☾ knight!jimin who would give you everything. his sword. his life. his soul. but the one thing he won’t take—unless you command him to—is your heart. because he still believes a princess deserves a prince, not a guard’s love.

lulu speaks pt2: um HI I LOVE HIM. REQUESTS ARE OPEN AND WELCOMED 😌

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jungkook what d'you mean you engaged once?! whats THAT about 😭😭😭

oh PLEASE that man has definetly dabbled in the milf scene. maybe even multiple times.

he didn’t like it tho trust (there was one mom…whew. he doesn’t like talking about it . 10/10 he’d do it again, but he’d never say that out loud).