(Hey @robotvee, Thanks For The Ask! This Is Kind Of An Interesting One, I’ve Never Actually Been To

(Hey @robotvee, thanks for the ask! This is kind of an interesting one, I’ve never actually been to a bar… at ALL, so this will be very interesting…)

Scout: Goes in as the new part-time bar-tender, complete with a fresh dye-job and fax-nose piercing. He’s kinda like, ‘eh, whatever,’ about the whole thing, probably cracks a few jokes at the ‘couples’, which we’ll get to in a minute, but he also makes friends with Dmitri and Marcus, the other two bar-tenders. They are very interested in assisting Scout with gelling his freshly-dyed hair, as well as explaining the do’s and dont’s of the bar. (They know he’s straight the minute he walks in, but they play along with it.) In the end they exchange numbers, and Scout low-key looks forward to Marcus’s offer to help professionally style his hair.

Engineer: ‘This is my… m-my boyfriend, Janus.’ ‘Oh, exotic name!’ He’s not uncomfortable with the fact they he’s been paired with Soldier as a ‘couple,’ but he doesn’t necessarily want to be associated with the guy that keeps taking over karaoke-corner and fighting off other singers with a goddamn chair… Engie doesn’t necessarily want to cheer his ‘partner’ on, but… “… Woo. Go…babe. *uncertain clap*’ Quit drawing attention to us, you spotlight hogger...

Sniper: *pulls out hidden dagger* ‘Touch my ass again, Spy, and i’ll drive this through ya frickin’ eye.’ ‘Mmm, sexy.’ Sniper got the small straw, and is now being pined by Spy, damn his luck. His hair-tips are now frosted white, he’s wearing eyeliner, and the French bastard is going to DIE, if his hand trails any lower. ‘I swear to god, I am gonna roast ya like a pepper after this.’ ‘Oh? I look forward to it, beau.’ ‘Spy, stop acting so damn convincin’ and- don’t you DARE nip at my ear again.’ ‘I ship it.’ ‘Scout, stay outta this.’

Soldier: NO one can sing K-pop as well as he can, so everyone needs to SIT THE HELL DOWN. ‘And this one goes out to my, uh, babe, Dell!’ ‘… Thanks… Babe…. Babe, why are you getting on one knee?… Soldier, when Pauling said ‘don’t attract too much attention.’ THIS IS WHAT SHE MEANT.” Soldier is taking his role as a long-time boyfriend of Engie, VERY seriously for this mission.

Demoman: Video-taping the chaos while working as back-alley security. “This will be magnificent to re-watch every Christmas…”

Medic: Getting druuuuuuuuuunk at the bar. He’s enjoying this quite a bit, and especially enjoys ‘low-key’ pushing Sniper and Spy closer to one another ‘Spy, I am gonna kill ya very slowly when we get home-’ ‘Oh, so you are already planning on taking me home with you, hm?’ ‘SPY, I AM GONNA SHOVE THIS KNIFE SO FAR DOWN YA-’ ‘Aw… Bickering couples are alvays such a *hic* lovely sight… Ja, you must get together later.’ ‘Medic, ya have had enough to drink, sit down.’ ‘Ja, the vorld is starting to spin… very multi-colored…’

Pyro: Walked in with a tiara and a feather-boa, has proceeded to start a tea-party in the corner. Everyone loves it, especially the little sparklers they put on the cupcakes. Pyro has a nice time.

Heavy: Working as front-door security, keeping his eye out for the target… Does he keep sneaking a glance inside to watch the chaos? Of course. Also, his fellow security guard and him are getting along pretty well, they’ve even exchanged nail-polish types, and who’s their salon contacts. ‘Nail-care is no joke.’ ‘Saaaaaaame… You need to meet Denise, honey. She’ll fix you up, half-price.’ “Hm. Number?’ Heavy makes a new friend on this day.

Spy: Some might question why he made his act with Sniper so convincing… Well, he wasn’t necessarily trying to get with Sniper, considering most of his eye-contact was on the rather handsome brunette further down the bar… Perhaps when the target’s been eliminated and the fires are put out, he’ll go offer the man a drink… It’s a polite thing to do, considering Spy has been sending rather impressionable winks and looks the equally-interested man’s way…