Wishing Stars

Why haven't i been told about emily dickinson sooner??? you mean to tell me i went all this time without knowing about the poet who literally wrote love poems to her sappic love?? how? is this story not famous? have i just completely missed it. well no longer, from this point on there will be much more emily dickinson in my life

hello! I’ve spent way too long curating spotify playlists instead of studying for exams so I figured I’d at least share them:

an unnecessarily pretentious and dramatic dark academia playlist

you’re making breakfast with the love of your life on a beautiful sunday morning and everything is finally okay

evil sexy villain making evil sexy plans

really pissed-off punk playlist to overthrow the government to

sitting in your room and reliving your angsty emo phase

it’s the middle of summer and you’re laying outside on the lawn and staring up at the sky, no thoughts, no responsibility

getting horribly reminiscent and sad about the fact that you will never be nine years old again

i don’t know how better to describe this than just ‘Dad Music’

another dark academia playlist, but this one’s less pretentious and more fun

it’s raining at 1am and everything just feels sad and horrible

sea shanties to shake ur ass to

a playlist for hopeless romantics creating daydream scenarios in their heads

feel free to rb this and add your own!!

Stages of tea 1. Rapid-tiny-sip hot 2. Optimum temp 3. “Down it” lukewarm 4. Just-too-late cold 5. Accidental yesterday’s tea horror sip

I'm her secret she keeps hidden and she is my story that i want to tell

"I have grown to love secrecy. It seems to be the one thing that can make modern life mysterious or marvellous to us."

- The Picture of Dorian Gray

on a spiritual level I am wildly and irresponsibly brandishing a knife as I gesture

oh to stroll through the old part of the city center wearing a long coat with a cup of coffee and a small volume of beat poetry looking for a bookstore to lose yourself in or a cozy corner to sit and write or just aimlessly admiring the architecture and making mysterious disappearances around street corners ,,, i miss it

Avatrice wonders I am just starting to uncover.

let me photograph you in this light (in case this is the last time)SimplyKorraI will edit and add fan fiction links as I make my way through AO3′s Warrior Nun works. I don’t mind if no one cares, I’m frankly doing this for myself (I like proper lists and going back to works I enjoyed). I hope I don’t bother anyone by tagging this, but if it does, please let me know. Infringing into spaces this doesn’t belong in exists in opposition with the goal of this list.

To each and every writer: From the bottom of my heart, Thank you.

1. Standing in a summer haze (are we gonna be okay?) by Galaxiez in particular is so good to me: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26469691/chapters/64498696 Impeccable characterization. 

and Galaxiez has more works for me to devour after this one: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galaxiez/pseuds/Galaxiez/works?fandom_id=44157922

2. Such as: (It’s you) you’re the one that makes me feel right by Galaxiez https://archiveofourown.org/works/26383741 So fucking good!

3. Exceptional writer, rendering an exception work of art: Precious Imperfections by DangersUntoldHardshipsUnnumbered will hold you in a chokehold Beatrice herself would be proud of: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28003827/chapters/68594997 panting, delicious squirming and *gulps* ahead

Part 2 https://archiveofourown.org/works/28281531 is a Christmas-must.

and Part 3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/28369491 is the masterpiece of denouements. Is there anything more beautiful than two artists making love to each other through their art.

4. On the light and fun side https://archiveofourown.org/works/25526881 They were roommates by writerofwrongs

5. How can I read these half holding my breath hold panting, how! https://archiveofourown.org/works/25242124  heretics by ambassador319

6. The visual of Beatrice as working at a bookshop alone sends me https://archiveofourown.org/works/25329574#main Girl From The Bookshop by 425_ThePerfectDate

7. The mix of them being dumbasses who think it’s unrequited love plus jealousy is my type of cocktail https://archiveofourown.org/works/25484005/chapters/61818301  And The Next by 425_ThePerfectDate

8. I oftentimes wonder when Ava fell in love with Beatrice, and then when Ava became aware she was in love with Beatrice. This is orphan_account ‘s version and I happen to love it Free Fallin’ Into You  https://archiveofourown.org/works/25787887

9. WELL fuck me up why don’t you https://archiveofourown.org/works/43318047#main this is where we start again by noahkahan

10. Chokes on the tension https://archiveofourown.org/works/43343493 What we do in the dark by AnonymousViolet

11. This is what I cherish the most. Depth you can only find in fan fiction. Depth that stays with you. That connects you to the characters in a forever way https://archiveofourown.org/works/43329501  lifelong love letter by Smokestarrules

12. A little bit of rivalry, a little bit of sparring, a little bit of jealousy, the zest of life you drive me crazy (its a beautiful ride) by pinkfingernails  https://archiveofourown.org/works/43248726/chapters/108706482

13. I could read fanfic like this for the rest of my life, Gorgeous fanart to accompany it : https://archiveofourown.org/works/43380316/chapters/109049260  show me something of a reckoning by explosivesky Fanart: https://corvophobia.tumblr.com/post/702564235372347392/thirteenyasmins-avatrice-fic-has-me-in-a NO FOR REAL THIS MIGHT BE MY FAVORITE This fic makes me lightheaded. I never want this story to end.

14. This one is… I’m hesitating adding this one to the list. Maybe I should not.  Let’s preface it with everyone has kinks. I don’t kink shame. This works for me. WARNING: A. Intersex Ava. B. Tags are here for a reason, if A hasn’t deterred you, please mind them.  https://archiveofourown.org/works/42758181 Sinful Thoughts by ChocolateCookieCream

15. They are So touch-starved and I’m living for it. This (for now?) 6 parters series is soft and funny and delightful and over-stimulates all my sense in the most artful of ways. You will taste the tension, it is so thick. Bring 5 fan machines, you’ll need them. And the writing will ravage you. An overflow of talent. A masterful collaboration:  https://archiveofourown.org/series/3221859  happiness is a warm nun by  Care, heartshapedcandy, lescousinsdangereux, lightsaroundyourvanity, mermaiddrunk, nirav

Did I say it was clever? It is so clever.

16. “She’s not the same Beatrice she used to be. She’s new . She’s made up of different parts now. There’s life Before Ava and there was life During Ava and there will someday be life After Ava. She’s staring into each of those periods of her life with different faces.” When it comes to favorite authors, it is a blessing that I get to meet mine in yet another fandom  https://archiveofourown.org/works/43465140#main baby i got a plan (run away fast as you can) by gilligankane

A piece that needs to accompany this fanfic https://ginjointsintheworld.tumblr.com/post/702922724845256704/bisexualtally-warrior-nun-207-psalms-11615 for the tags

17. My weakness for fake dating is coming for my throat. A vampire would do less damage. https://archiveofourown.org/works/43202637 fake it by Vhsparx103

18. I live for slow burns. https://archiveofourown.org/works/43321642/chapters/108896926 seal them up with care by that_one_urchin Ava asking Beatrice to help her with -insert spoiler- had me getting up and walking around the house to Process The Feelings

This one is in progress, and brings me So. Much. Unadulterated. Joy!

19. Can they belong to the forever immortalized bests of ships if they do not get to participate in an iconic pool table game https://archiveofourown.org/works/43485546 the best of a small town is in your mouth by nirav

Another (devastatingly beautiful) great from the same author https://archiveofourown.org/works/43134973#main an otherwise disappointing life

20. Sprinkling in some genius https://at.tumblr.com/winterlorn/when-beatrice-first-approached-the-grave-she/fda7bjsb39tg

21. Fanart will get me to read everything, and what an undeniable, wonderful fanfic idea this is https://archiveofourown.org/works/43165149/chapters/108486249 To climb a tree by Frenchsoda Fanart in question: https://www.tumblr.com/smallandsundry/703125261091241984/a-workout-bea-and-an-ava-having-a-moment-for

22. Second Christmas-must :  Snapshots for the future by puppybusby https://archiveofourown.org/works/28134153/chapters/68935209 The proverbial Fanart that lead me to this greatness: https://sketchbook626.tumblr.com/post/701219881927966720/avatrice-holigays-heres-another-avatrice-comic

23. “How utterly humiliating to be unmade by kindness. How utterly unworthy.” This encompasses the Ava-Beatrice relationship so devastatingly well. From:  in her careful hands by unicyclehippo https://archiveofourown.org/works/43156620/chapters/108462321#workskin

24. Watching these two women set themselves aflame for the other is grandiose https://archiveofourown.org/works/41061963/chapters/102917067 Because of You by NinesRadScreenname

(Beatrice would so stitch up her own scars.)

25. “I’d still pick you.” Is that a second blessing we get ? But yes it is ! No one quite writes characters in mundane settings, accomplishing day-to-day activities, as fluidly and satisfactorily than this author does. As always, impeccable characterization, genial idea, witty repartee, tension filled… Domesticity never looked so good. If you feel like reading a fanfic that spells in each word silent I love yous: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43577016#main honey, don’t worry, i’ll do your laundry (covered in dirt) by gilligankane (Swimming in laundry detergent and love.)

26. Make me feel a thing or 10, why don’t you. https://at.tumblr.com/piratekane/we-see-more-often-ava-getting-hurt-so-could-you/nxbypxf59d39

27. I am pausing midway through the first chapter to add this amazing recommendation https://www.tumblr.com/treesbeesandladies (💙) sent me: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43392936/chapters/109081734  of greater marvels yet to be by seabiscuit Their -Almosts- are devouring me. Touching through conduit objects -gets lightheaded- I have always preferred the unsaids.

Fanart: https://twitter.com/Gabriellowena/status/1612131779908968448

28. What do I do with these two (three?). Explain.  https://archiveofourown.org/works/43610208/chapters/109653513#main who needs comfortable love by the_ominous_owl

29. That one paragraph will make you fall to your knees: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43663245 the opposite of faith by explosivesky The reunion, the humor, the sexual charged… wrestling…, the everything! “I tried to live without you. It wasn’t life.” “I tried to die for you. It wasn’t death, either.”

30. If you had heard the jolly “Ho, ho, ho” onomatopoeia sound I made upon reading the summary alone: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43436980/chapters/109197331 Tis’ The Damn Season by unburnttkhaleesi

31. Good tidings to us all, for Queer Hallmark blessings are upon us falling (for you) like snow on christmas by totheflame https://archiveofourown.org/works/43692444/chapters/109867488 (I’m gonna call this) Fanart (+link) : https://www.tumblr.com/justawhitewall/703994361708494848/this-is-ava-beatrice-said-stiffly-she-was 

32. -Hands to the sky, flames everywhere- P A I N ! 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43329570/chapters/108917634#main I’ve been hanging by your halo (don’t you wanna cut me loose?) by LesEtoilesDeTesYeux

33. Vibrating out of skin, check indeed :   i don’t want a lot for christmas (there is just one thing i need) by gilligankane https://archiveofourown.org/works/43672960/chapters/109849599#main

34. What is grief, if not love persevering ? This fandom is as demented as it is talented. Y'all  are out there trying to kill me before my depression does. Formidable bunch.  https://archiveofourown.org/works/43680087 metamorphosis by amiphobic

35. Pew-Pew, individual horny jail time : https://archiveofourown.org/works/43696726  party for one (back on my beat) by Care

and by the same author : https://archiveofourown.org/works/43179801

36. Exploring Beatrice is endless. here is where my love lays by nirav https://archiveofourown.org/works/43739391#main

Fanart helps too: https://www.tumblr.com/smallandsundry/704276746038542336/fiddleabout-wrote-a-very-hot-besweatered-beatrice

37. Another special (extremely RUDE) marvel https://archiveofourown.org/works/43779792#main there’s a funeral in your eyes by nirav

38. A 5 parters of Jealous Ava : https://twitter.com/WnSavior/status/1606148615570759681?s=20&t=EMlhUDWm2Ayv2VtSDel2QA

39. Hold me! (Literally) https://www.tumblr.com/asamiontop/704562881954480128/bea-hm-beatrice-grumbles-too-close-to-sleep

“Nothing but love, pure and unassuming, seeping through every crevice in the weakening constructs of Beatrice’s life.” Me reading this Ficlet.

40. “To mend another’s armour is an intimate act.” Stupendous! https://www.tumblr.com/birgittesilverbae/704654823026475008/love-like-a-quietly-mended-shirt

41. Bea is always warmer than Ava, how can she not, when the flames of temptation made a home of her https://archiveofourown.org/works/43651530/chapters/109762725 The four times Beatrice broke her vows (and the one time she didn’t) by Spayne

42. I opened this fanfic peering through one eye, praying, Praying it was good. And Good, it was. i sense a rhythm humming in a frenzy by littlepacketofchips https://archiveofourown.org/works/43739377/chapters/109989799

43. Brilliant idea, excellent shenanigans.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43302543/chapters/108846639#main desperate times, desperate measures by AdeleDazeem

44. Lovely! (I need 17 more chapters of this) https://taylorswift.co.vu/post/704976892550430720/ontari-ontari-as-someone-who-has-0-time-to-write

45. One of my favorite authors partaking in the Avatrice fun. I couldn’t have started the year better but by stumbling upon this treasure: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43793466

if we could take it all off and just exist by socallmedaisy

46. Obliteration by the feels:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43950438#main Devotion, Fidelity, Commitment, And Other Synonyms by morningsound15

47. It doesn’t always feel like that, but you only gain from having someone like Ava is in this fic, in your life: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43795524 come to me, all you who are weary and burdened by birgittesilverbae (hedahawkeye)

48. My obsession with hands finally knows its apotheosis https://www.tumblr.com/piratekane/705440203852169216/thats-what-hands-are-made-for-her-hands-are

49. This fic will make you hold your breath at their almost encounter- 

“This girl who’d come back to her through worlds and years, time and space. Always landing in front of Beatrice, always in her path. She saw it now, the red string that linked them together throughout their lives.” 

-exhales, entire body deflating-

https://archiveofourown.org/works/44051836

The Weaving Road by uhpockuhlipz

And another from the same author, as it is the season: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43984270 Is It Too Cheesy to Call This Fireworks?

50. The way Ava’s depth is given justice… Stupendous:

https://www.tumblr.com/unicyclehippo/705494789520506880/hmmmhow-about-a-one-word-prompt-ofskin

51. -Big feelings sigh- We’ll always have Switzerland:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/44050320#main

always have to steal my kisses from you by gilligankane

52. I see you have come for the entirety of my feels. Very well then. Tonight, we spare: 

https://www.tumblr.com/bazaarwords/705582222485372928/thank-you-why-does-it-matterr-i-think-i-got-a

Prompts of similar gut-wrenching potency, by the same talented as fuck author:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43736379/chapters/109981734

53. -Dani Rojas chanting- Football is life!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43890340/chapters/110354884 the planets & fates & all the stars aligned (i couldn’t lose) by possibilist Fanart: https://www.tumblr.com/princington/704880724013203456/just-a-quick-doodle-based-off-footy-au-have-a

54. Dear heavens all mighty. -Drowns in my own lewdness-

WARNING: (Refer to 14.) Everyone has kinks. I don’t kink shame. This works for me. It’s more than okay if it doesn’t for you. Skip to 55. A. Intersex Bea. B. Tags are here for a reason, if A hasn’t deterred you, please mind them. https://archiveofourown.org/works/44113581/chapters/110922525 Applied research by takemetothemountains

55. I appreciate an author who captures the most complex of feelings, and forever marks its readers with the simplest of them. And who does not shy away from real. Flawed but not flawed. Raw. Human.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/44135007/chapters/110980044#main if mine, then yours (and so all yours) by seabiscuit

56. Intense lesbianism knows no mercy. This fanfic is delightfully funny, the dialogue is fast-paced, and https://www.tumblr.com/treesbeesandladies (💙) gives the best recommendations! 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/44078112/chapters/110828223#main show me the way home by unicyclehippo

57. -Taps vein- Insert College AU here https://archiveofourown.org/works/44020588/chapters/110682589 peach plum pear by lightsaroundyourvanity

58. Fake Dating AU, let’s go!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/44634574/chapters/112288522#main life is for those who live by spacemanearthgirl

59. HERE WE GO AGAIN PEOPLE! Didn’t even think about it, see seabiscuit post, immediately rec. blind follow. as any well versed in excellency of their talent person should do! the thought of high windows seabiscuit

https://archiveofourown.org/works/44830579/chapters/112795372

Predisposed to being charmed by this author’s constant quality output art, one could say, and one would be correct. This new treasure has me enraptured.

60. Two for two! https://archiveofourown.org/works/44306152/chapters/111424270 on the run from a losing game by nirav

I’m never dissatisfied by nirav’s fics or @treesbeesandladies​‘ recommendations!

Also… am I reading this correctly? Is that Ace!Beatrice or… ?

61. A good rule of thumb is: read everything explosivesky posts https://archiveofourown.org/works/44274049/chapters/111340093 how shall i speak of doom by explosivesky

62. I love when Fanart leads me to Fanfic. This one is no expectation: 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43209588/chapters/108602736 let me photograph you in this light (in case this is the last time) by SimplyKorra

Fanart : https://at.tumblr.com/simplykorra/a-while-back-i-reached-out-to-my-favorite-human/yh9mfgqz3l8f

63. Another form Ava Silva takes to destabilize the living gay out of Beatrice? Sign me up! Plus a cat named Archimedes? Sign. Me. Up! I said!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45353302/chapters/114105451?view_adult=true#main if saints and angels spoke of love by mermaiddrunk

Mare: So are you the big spoon or a little spoon?

Evangeline: I’m a knife. Deadly, unpredictable, a danger to both you and your red rat friends-

Elane, from across the room: SHES A LITTLE

Evangeline: BABE

being in love as an academic

gentle kisses before lectures as they walk you to the hall

slow dancing to mozart, vibing to hozier, & dancing wildly to mother mother

sitting in their lap as you both finish work

zoom calls instead of studying

handwritten letters snuck under dorm doors & pressed flowers hidden in books

imagining their soft smiles as you power through a dull lecture

comparing annotations in literature & workings in mathematics

gently holding them when it gets too much, pressing a kiss to their temple & reminding them of the joy you’ll have after graduation

nicknames after niche & unknown scientists, mathematicians & authors