'My Gender Is Not The Best Financially'

TODD HOWARD GET BACK IN THE BUGTHESDA VAULT

Four illustrations I made for @dinzine ! SO fun ;w;

she is a questionable teacher

Ok hear me out; valdemar with their child. But their child is now a rebellious teenager and is super smart so they come up with the most brilliant ways to just piss off their parent. They still have a super good relationship but maybe the child got more of MC’s ideals and morality than valdemars?

Ahahaha I love this ♥️

——

“MC, please tell your offspring-” / “Oh, so when they do something good they’re ‘our beloved child’ but when they do something bad it’s ‘my offspring’? Very mature of you, Valdemar…” / “*growling*”

When the child was little they had a period when they didn’t understand why neither mom nor dad applied to Valdemar și they started calling them “Doctor” because that’s what they heard everyone call them. Valdemar found it endearing.

Now, as a teenager, not so much. There is a limit to how many times this demon can walk in and see their child sitting in the middle of a mess and look up at them and go “What’s up, Doc?”.

The child also learned pretty quickly that other people seem to be very afraid of Valdemar. So guess which parent is somehow the only one available to be called in when they get in trouble at school? Yeah, that’s how they get away with everything.

The following conversation happens pretty often:

Valdemar: I find it hard to understand why you of all people seem to have made it your life’s mission to test the limits of my patience…

Child: 'Cuz I know you won’t do anything.

Valdemar:…and why is that?

Child: BECAUSE YOU LOVE ME, HA!

Valdemar: *fuming, storms out of the room*

When they were young and throwing a tantrum Valdemar used to walk out of the room and tell them “Come talk to me after you regain your rationality”. The kid now does exactly the same when Valdemar tries to lecture them about something. They say it’s impolite and the child says “Well I learned it from you~”. More growling.

At some point when Valdemar was angry at them they said “Easy there, Maleficent, you’re almost spitting fire and this dungeon is flammable”. Valdemar had to step outside and scream.

Their bickering is extremely funny but only you are allowed to laugh, the others get life threats. Well, Valdemar tried it once with you too but you were like “Nah, not working, after screwing a demon and carrying another one in my womb, nothing scares me anymore”. Ok, good point, you win this one, MC.

But the no. 1 fan of their showdowns is the Devil. He’s having the time of his life watching the two. Once he even brought popcorn. Valdemar kicked him out more than once.

At some point they actually looked at the child, who apparently inherited their famous grin, and went:

Despite all that, every day when the child leaves for school they go and hug Valdemar while saying “Be good and don’t kill anyone today. I love you~” and they hug them back and tell them “Be good and stop using me to scare your teachers. I love you too~”. None of those things happen and they know it but it’s their thing and it’s adorable.

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THINGS I NEED TO FUCKING KNOW: Why every fuckin trans man or nb person I know who binds is like “oh binders are the worst, you can’t breathe in them, I know someone who broke a rib once”,

And meanwhile over in historical costuming, we are fucking eating, sleeping, swordfighting, riding horses, and feeling great like this:

(credit: Jenny La Flamme, The Tudor Tailor, Verdaera)

Like is there NO overlap between people who want to bind and people who care about accurate 16th century clothing reconstruction techniques?

(I, okay, maybe it is kind of a niche interest, but…. REALLY? Anyone who’s made a boned binder, PLS SPEAK TO ME)

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I wanna point out that Valdemar is a nerd who can be very helpful when they’re interested on a subject