Choosing A Chastity Cage

Choosing a Chastity Cage

FLR Tips is the sister site to FLR Info, where you’ll find introductory information about Female-Led Relationships. If you’re new to this, you should head over there. This site is about the practical, day-to-day aspects of FLRs. It is much more explicit and quite sex/femdom-oriented.

By making your man wear a chastity cage 24/7, you can control his erections and orgasms. 

Stated matter-of-factly like that, it doesn’t sound like a big deal, but make no mistake - it is! Not only do you control his erections and orgasms, but he’ll be walking around with a constant reminder of your special arrangement, which goes a long way towards fulfilling his need for the arrangment to be rooted in something sexual and kinky.

In fact, I believe many FLR-leaning couples could simply add a constantly worn chastity device to their relationship and reap 90% of the benefits of a more elaborate FLR setup. The man gets his kink while at the same time building up his desire to serve, and the women gets her worshipping/pampering/sexual attention, without the ups and downs that comes with a man who can decide for himself when to become erect or have an orgasm.

But all of this hinges on the requirement that the man must wear the device constantly. Whenever you aren’t actively using his penis for something, it is securely locked away. In order to do this successfully, you’ll need a cage that works well with long-time wear, and that’s what the rest of this article is about.

***

There are several factors you’ll need to consider when choosing a cage. Let’s go over them one by one.

Size

Men and their penises come in many different sizes, and you should choose a cage that fits your particular man. But what, exactly, makes a chastity cage fit?

In our experience, the most important factor when it comes to size, is that the part of the cage that holds the penis itself should be pretty short, so that even when his penis is in its most shriveled-up state, the tip of the penis will almost never have any clearance with respect to the tip of the cage - there should be contact at all times.

There are several reasons why this is a good thing. The most important one is that it makes night-time erections less painful. Somewhat unintuitively, the less room his penis has to grow, the less it hurts. When he can’t even get semi-erect, it prevents the cage from pulling too hard on his testicles (which is what causes the most pain).

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the thought of him having some discomfort during the night, while I am sleeping like a baby after receiving my massages and orgasm(s) for the night. Even a small cage hurts a little, especially in the beginning, but not to the point that it causes a real issue. I want my husband to sleep well too, for the most part - it’s important for his long-term health.

Another reason we like a small cage is that it really does prevent him from getting an erection. It’s not just a slightly crippled erection that hurts in that good way - there is no erection, period. He’ll swell up, of course, and push the cage away from his body a little, but that’s it. And we enjoy the fact that the control I assert over his erections is real.

Finally, a small cage is easier to hide under clothes, especially if you get one with an integrated locking mechanism (ie. no padlock required), which I highly recommend.

Material

Chastity cages typically come in three materials: Plastic, silicone and metal. 

My distinct impression is that most people start out with a cage made of plastic. For the most part, they work really well as far as restricting the penis goes, and they are excellent starter cages to get a sense of how it feels to have one’s penis locked away, or how it feels to hold the keys to a man’s penis. And if you just want a chastity cage that you can use as a fun sex toy, they do the job admirably.

BUT, I do not want you trying to establish a long-term chastity regiment using a plastic cage. You see, the thing about plastic cages is that they are terribly unhygienic, in our opinion. After just half a day or so they’ll acquire an unpleasant odour, and they are notoriously hard to clean without being removed, which makes them simply unsuitable for our purposes.

Luckily, there’s a simple solution: Metal cages. I don’t know the chemistry behind it, but metal cages just don’t have any issues in this regard. And they are typically much more open, so my husband simply cleans the cage and its penile occupant every night with soap and water, while remaining locked, and it works like a charm. Both the cage and his penis dry up within minutes, with no moisture trapped inside the cage.

Not only that, but aesthetically speaking, metal cages are the only ones that work for me. They look masculine and shiny and incredibly solid (which they are), not to mention that they feel much better to touch and play with.

We have very little experience with the silicone ones, to be honest, and a big part of the reason is that they just seem too flimsy, too flexible. I’m sure they work for some people, but our tastes lie elsewhere.

So, metal it is. I’m sure you’ll find people who use plastic cages for long-term chastity with no issues, but this was pretty clear-cut for us. We moved on from plastic very quickly and haven’t looked back (or even sideways).

Security

By “security”, I mean the ability of a cage to ensure that the man is not able to free or stimulate his penis. The importance of this particular parameter probably varies wildly from couple to couple. 

For us, it isn’t terribly important. I can certainly see the appeal in having a 100% secure cage, but not if it complicates things in any way.

Most regular cages can be escaped from. It might not be easy, and it might hurt quite a bit, but most determined men can find a way to pull their penis out and do the deed. It might be very difficult to put it back in without the key, though, so those who hope to be able to slip it out at their convenience and then put it back unnoticed may be in for a surprise. But frustrated men are resourceful, if anything, so I’m sure there are those who can do that successfully too.

It boils down to trust and intent. If the cage is intended to be a tool to help you as a couple to achieve the amazing life hack that a successful FLR relationship is, then the hoops he would have to jump through to free his penis without the key should be enough to remind him that he is not supposed to do that, and continuing on that path could easily end up damaging the relationship - not because chastity is important in itself, but because it is a violation of trust, which is bad for any relationship.

It’s very simple in our relationship: By mutual understanding, any attempt to escape or cheat when the cage is locked means jeopardizing the entire FLR part of the relationship. Others might have a more playful attitude towards this, maybe even develop it into a sort of cat-and-mouse game where he is always trying to escape and she is always trying to come up with ever more secure cages. That’s fine, of course, but not for us.

So why not dispense with the cage altogether, if it’s based on trust anyway? Many reasons! It’s not all based on trust, there is a real barrier to cross to be able to circumvent the cage. And even the most devoted man cannot just decide to never have erections, simply to please his woman. Not to mention the joy of having an actual, physical cage and an actual, physical key, that, for the most part, work exactly as intended. We get a lot of pleasure from the chastity cage.

If security is very important to you, and you are not afraid to take things pretty far, you should do some research on urethra cages and/or Prince Albert piercings and cages that are designed to integrate with them. I’ve also been told that there are outfits that make custom-built cages that can be very secure. These apparantly cost several hundred or even thousands of USD, but go nuts if that’s your thing!

Other considerations

Price is obviously a factor for many people. A quality metal cage actually costs less than many of the plastic ones, typically in the range of 25-50 USD.

Where to get one? We have bought all our cages from an online store with the rather silly name Toys 4 Naughty Boys in the UK. Another company with a very nice selection is the US-based Lock The Cock, which also has a presence in Europe.

And, since I have already gotten this question many times, the cage we currently rely on for day-to-day use is the Tight Squeeze III.

More Posts from Dangerousangleofadream and Others

Drool - Part 3

Drool - Part 3

💊 Part 1 💊 Part 2 💊

"Oh no, Jess! It looks like our newest patient had a visit from the Potty Monster."

Your brain feels like it's melting. You're desperate to tic, but every muscle in your body is too sluggish and heavy to do more than slosh around in the sinking pool that has become your mattress. The enormous pacifier strapped in your mouth bubbles and squeaks as your lolling tongue pushes creamy drool through the pink shield. But that familiar wetness has been joined by a new one: a puddle of bitter-smelling urine that has periodically expanded and reheated over the last hour, your lower body paralyzed by Nurse Molly's muscle relaxers.

"Mmmmnnnnnnnnggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh," you moan into the thick shaft of the pacifier, dripping pathetically onto the tight cloth bib. The weight of your accumulating drool has now pasted the bib to your chest, and you can feel your saliva seeping through the thin pink paper of your hospital gown.

"You never mentioned any bladder troubles on your application, honey. It's okay, but it's a very important detail for the doctor to know about before your treatment can start!"

Your face gets so hot you can practically feel it crackle. You DON'T have bladder troubles! Nurse Molly obviously gave you too many muscle relaxers! You want to stammer out in protest, but with the leather strap securing the pacifier to your lips, you're completely unable to contradict your nurse's assumptions.

"Jess, I'm going to go fetch some protection. Can you do what you can with the waterworks?"

You become aware of a new presence as Nurse Molly leaves the room: a young woman in a white uniform with shoulder-length hair dyed in an eye-popping pink. You're humiliated to be seen by a stranger while you're writhing stupidly in a lake of your own pee and drool, nursing a fat pacifier and barely able to lift your worthless, mittened hands. You turn your head away as she approaches.

"Hmph. Just what we needed...another bedwetter," she says, her voice oozing with a mix of amusement and genuine frustration. "I'm Nurse Jessica; I'm usually on the night shift. I looked at your file. You're a twitchy one, aren't you? You've got a lot of work ahead of you, especially if we have to start dealing with soaked mattresses."

Nurse Jessica reaches behind your head to untie your cloth bib and peels the saturated square of fabric off of your chest. She tosses it to the floor with a wet plop before folding down the pink-and-white fiberglass guardrails of your bed. You desperately want to explain that you're not actually a bedwetter...but as the pink-haired nurse rolls you onto your side and begins laying down piles of dry towels, all you can do is suckle, sniffle, and moan.

Still unable to move under your own power, you try to focus on the television that has been playing non-stop since you were brought to the room. The bunny cartoon has been replaced with a show where some lady in a princess costume is interacting with puppets. The dialogue and plot are deliriously simple, but it's still preferable to acknowledging Nurse Jessica as she tears off your damp paper hospital gown and begins scrubbing your naked bottom. Once again, lacking any outlet for your instinct to tic, you try to concentrate your nervous energy on the rubbery bulb of the pacifier in your mouth.

"How's our super soaker?"

You hear the familiar voice of Nurse Molly as she pulls back the privacy curtain of your room. At first, it looks like she's brought some extra towels for mopping up your accident, but then you realize...

"Thick, thirsty diapers for our shy little lamb! Don't worry, honey, it's not uncommon for people with motor control issues to have some bladder problems. You didn't have to be embarrassed!"

"Nnnnnnnnnnhhhhhhhhhhh!" You cry out in a panic as Nurse Molly unfurls the massive diaper, holding its hourglass shape aloft like a white flag of surrender for your dignity. The plastic backing crinkles and pops, and you begin to writhe in your bed as she approaches with the mass of soft, heavy padding.

"Nnngh! Nnngh! Nnnnnnnnnngh!" Gurgling uselessly into the rubbery nipple that fills your mouth, the lingering effects of the muscle relaxers join forces with the puffy, constraining mittens to leave you completely at the mercy of these two beautiful nurses. Unable to communicate, you stare up at Nurse Jessica with pleading, desperate eyes as Nurse Molly snaps on a fresh pair of latex gloves and squeezes a liberal amount of white cream into her palm.

"Oh...do you need to tic? Get the wiggles out?" Nurse Jessica sneers, ignoring your obvious panic at the prospect of being taped into the massive diaper. She retreats over to the white-and-pink dresser, which you're surprised to realize is stocked not with the clothes and personal items you brought to the clinic, but with a menagerie of animal plushies, toys, and strange-looking clothes.

"Here, cuddle with Honey Horn. That should calm you down." Nurse Jessica dangles a giant stuffed unicorn above you, nuzzling it against your naked chest in a bid for you to grasp on.

You gasp slurpily as you feel the cold cream in Nurse Molly's gloved hand against the sensitive skin of your bottom. Instinctively, you wrap your bare arms around Honey Horn and pull her against your shivering body, aching for warmth and stimulation. All you can do is suckle, wimper, and squeeze the plushie unicorn as Nurse Molly lifts your legs so they form a right angle with the ceiling.

Nurse Jessica holds your ankles, and you feel the cold, damp towels replaced by a velvety, dry cloud. You wiggle against the odd sensation of your cream-slathered skin on the cottony lining of the soft diaper. You've regained enough feeling in your legs to feel the tightness of the leg guards hugging your thighs as Nurse Molly folds the popping plastic up to your belly button. The ripping tapes are like thunder in your ears, and when the nurses' hands finally let go, the new bulk around your hips stays. You summon the strength to shift Honey Horn to the side, just so you can behold what you already know: you've been snugly and securely diapered.

"Now we need to change out this mattress, honey, so we'll need you to get out of bed. It looks like you still have jelly legs from your medicine, so it's probably safest if you hang out with Honey Horn on the floor."

The nurses work together to lift you up and slide a purple cotton t-shirt over your torso before tying a fresh cotton bib around your neck. By the time Nurse Molly helps you plop down onto the pink blanket that Nurse Jessica spread out on the linoleum, your bib is already catching droplets of warm drool that ooze through the shield of your ever-present pacifier. You have no choice but to cling to Honey Horn, unable to do anything else with your mittened hands as you try to summon feeling back into your legs with weak kicks of your pink jelly sandals. And as you lie on your back, squirming and moaning through helpless suckling, your ears ring with the crinkles and pops of your fluffy white diaper, bulging like a balloon, overwhelming your senses with its tightness, its bulk, and its crackling song...

Crinkle, pop, squish, suck. Crinkle, pop, squish, suck.

Crinkle, pop, squish, suck. Crinkle, pop, squish, suck.

💊 Part 4 💊

Kelley Was Always Amused By How Agreeable Men Became Once She Had Them Snugly Secured On Her Custom Designed

Kelley was always amused by how agreeable men became once she had them snugly secured on her custom designed rack…..

You Like Watching Him Fuck Me Don’t You Babe - Are You Going To Lick My Dirty Pussy When He’s Done?

You like watching him fuck me don’t you Babe - are you going to lick my dirty pussy when he’s done? 🤤

are you gentle with your new locked boys? how do you not scare them off as you click the lock shut?

I am gentle with my newly locked boys, but by that token, I’m gentle with all my boys. I live to hold their hands, rub their backs, kiss their tears and whisper in their ears. They don’t run away when the lock clicks shut because they can feel my warmth, my affection for them (oh, and they know I’m the only one with the keys).

Tonight I had a newish boy over for dinner. I made him lemongrass citrus salmon with ginger glaze and dumplings. After dinner we cuddled on the couch and I traced the outline of his chin and jaw while nibbling on his ear and running my hands through his hair for an hour or two. I asked him to tell me all about his greatest triumphs and fears while I tweaked his nipples under his shirt. He didn’t get unlocked and he won’t be for another week but I think he left feeling appreciated and loved.

10 months ago
When Wearing The Key To His Chastity As A Little Reminder To Him, It Is Amazing At How The Authority

When wearing the key to his chastity as a little reminder to him, it is amazing at how the authority in your simple hand motions for communication is greatly increased. Try it, ladies!

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