Sobbing And Crying At The Woman Who Stole A Meth Addicted Kitten From Her Dealer And Then She And The

Friend of mine was submitting a job application and discovered that they REQUIRED a photo:

We’re trying to decide which of these is a better option:

or

omfg im laughing so hard i fell asleep on my keyboard last night and i just found this

tw: old man

His trauma hair and bitchy attitude have bewitched me body and soul

Tagging @avephelis so they can see where the rabbit hole they shoved me down led.

So things we should consider when trying to figure out what type of Spiny Softshell our boy is, are:

Size

Shell

Markings

I’m throwing this map in here for funsies as well. It shows the range of the different type of spiny softshells.

Can’t properly factor this in tho because we don’t know if Draxum travelled to find the turtles or just like picked them out of his backyard or something. He could have sent the goyles out to get them for all we know. Regardless I find the map interesting.

Now in terms of size Donnie is canonically shorter than Leo, but taller than Mikey. Some of these Spiny Softshells end up huge. Size is honestly a weird thing to be able to measure because we only see teen Donnie. We don’t know how big he ended up being, so I’m not really sure how to factor this into what species I think he is. (Imagine F!Donnie is taller than F!Raph and like still leaner than F!Leo but also buff. Just needed to throw that out there, gotta work on my F! Designs anyway)

Now his shell.

As you can see it tends to follow the shape of his spine. It tends to be flatter than his brothers & he can lay on his back comfortably. It also bends much easier than his brothers. Even with his battle shell on it doesn’t stick out from his back much. I can’t tell if the bulge near his shoulders that is sometimes there is his actual shell or if he’s slouching (cuz man’s got terrible posture). It also follows the shape of his body as opposed to being more circle. It just barely peeks around his body if seen without his battle shell directly in front of him. Whereas Raph, Mikey, & Leo you can clearly see their shell from the front.

Markings. Now we aren’t going to count his purple markings persay, but if the irl turtle has anything on its arms I’m gonna count it.

Alright so I’m going to rate each turtle 1-5 on each of the above criteria based solely on these photos. (Only including the Gulf coast Spiny & the Eastern Spiny)

Size: (assuming that Donatello’s size relative to his brothers doesn’t change w age)

Uh… about even actually. So 4 points for each ig.

Shell:

The gulf coast spiny has the closer cross section shape sometimes? while the Eastern is slightly closer due to it not being a “circle”. But then there’s the slouch to account for…

I’m going to give the Gulf coast 2 & the Eastern 3

Markings:

Looking at the baby photos the baby Eastern spiny is almost identical to Donnie. But looking at the adults the Gulf coast is closer.

But seeing as Donnie is a teenage turtle I’m going to give the Gulf coast 2 points & the Eastern 4.

Tallying up the points, the Gulf Coast spiny has a total of 8 points while the Eastern has 11

So in conclusion I don’t think the artists put this much thought into it but imao Donnie most closely resembles a baby Apalone Spinifera- or Eastern Spiny Softshell.

[Apalone Spinifera Aspera- Gulf Coast Spiny Softshell]

[Apalone Spinifera- Easter Spiny Softshell]

Finally some good fucking news

A message from conservationists, please don't buy taxidermy bats or bat skeletons.

ohhh fuck off. someone learned my summoning ritual again. ill be right back