Sitting Seaside As Well, Very Distinguished

And what do you think you're doing Simon?

one of the guys in the kitchen at work got called irritating and replied “I am not irritating. You just find me irritating. There are many people who love me.” I think we should all adopt his attitude

peeing after robot sex so i dont get an hdmi

Born to don't wanna. Forced to gotta

CAN'T BELIVE THIS GOT A SEQUAL but the second tweet was SPOT ON

I wanna grow old with you then make fun of you for being old

The masculine connotation of a bow tie and the feminine connotation of a bow on the top of the head implies a nonbinary bow style placed directly over the nose