WOAH THE PROPORTIONS IM IN LOVE
made this as a bday present for my sister :))
~~~
I love rizzly by jesus FUCK is he a pain in the ass to draw. i shit you not it took me like an entire day to figure out how to draw his gauntlets
it was super fun though. will definitely torture myself with genshin and/or star rail fanart again đÂ
Hiii!! Hope youâre doing good!! Could I request a poly werewolf 141 x reader who just has bad abandonment issues? Take care of yourself, I love you!!
Warnings: yandere behavior, talks about abandonment, and werewolves.
A/N: Hi!! Yes of course. We love werewolves!! Enjoy and love you too, beloved <3!!
Gif by @/bastardcompany // NOT MINE
It breaks their heart, especially on Gaz's part, that you have this fear. Something, or someone, must've caused it. And it only angers and annoys them. However, they can't help but love this side of you.
It's easier for them to manipulate you, making you stay home, away from outsiders, and stay closer to them. And, with them being already possessive, and the werewolf blood swirling in them, it makes them proud and almost excited that you have a need about being around theme.
All of them, especially on Soap's part, constantly remind you that you're theirs, and they are yours; vice versa. Most of them understand your fears, all of them going through the fear itself one way or another. And quite the contrast, they don't blame you.
Naturally, with having bad abandonment issues, comes with insecurity, ultra clingiest, and paranoia. Most of the time, Price and Gaz are always around you, glued to your side and ensuring that they won't leave you â and never leave you for âsomeone elseâ
Every day, all of them are constantly wanting to be near you, touching you, holding you, talking to you, smelling you, any way any of them could have you.
In rare scenarios, where they do have to leave (work or having to go somewhere in public where they don't you at), they assure you over and over that they will just be an hour, and come straight back. Making sure to pick something sweet up (a gift) to prove to you that you mean everything.
All of them do meaningful things, especially during the nights where they're the most energetic â Soap bringing you a dead dove, mouth stained in blood and a sign of I love you in his eyes.
Simon and Price both working together on bringing a bunch of roses, flowers, or even a pine-cone from the forest; nudging it closer to your form as you gently reward them.
Gaz naturally gifts you his things â ensuring that you can, and you will wear his shirts, boxers, or even hats if he asks. And if you don't? Well, you wouldn't want to make your mates sad, no?
Masterlist || Please consider reblogging and commenting instead of liking, it helps me as a creator!! Stay well!!
Š yandere-kokeshi 2023 â Do not copy, modify, edit, repost, or use my works for ASMR readings, tiktoks, or other content.
relationship | ghostface!scaramouche x gn!reader (modern au)
synopsis | listen, the thirsty tiktoks of masked men â specifically ghostface â during Halloween were too interesting. you had to check it out for yourself! one of the actors is oddly... good at his job. maybe too good... content | mdni to be safe! suggestive tension with a murderer. that's it. kinda like...early stage yandere. no smut. cw | swearing, light knifeplay, y/n needs post nut clarity bc y/n is giving âfoolish horror movie protagâ, usage of "darling" a/n | this was supposed to be for both wrio and scara, but ive been neglecting the og boy. this is... unrealistic and self-indugent. please do not harass haunted house actors. super quick fic.
masterlist
itâs halloween night and the internet was rampant with videos and images full of the various actors who were a little too fine on this spooky evening.
due to the rising thirst for masked actors darting around and failing to startle some folks, your friends had decided it was time to check out the local one in town for the cheap thrill.
terribly enough, with the rising thirst, there were rising murders in town too. but halloween happened one night of the year! surely it would be fine if you enjoyed one late evening, right? besides, strength in numbers.
horny wins over sensibility. perhaps with the halloween spirit at its peak, the actors would truly send a chill down your spine and less of a⌠flustered reaction.
down the street, a fog machine pumped a haze across the damp concrete. candy wrappers and fake blood were splattered across the floor, with laughter and shrieks filling the midnight air as various actors impressed the crowd with their theatrics. some of them wielded prop weapons and slashed at the crowd, while some of them crawled around and swiped at people to scare them.
the road led to a busy haunted house at the end of it, where a majority of the more elaborate frights occurred. to reel customers in, a few actors were out and about, spooking potential customers and shoving flyers in their faces afterwards. your friends were chatting away, looking for a place to attract the attention of a few actors to see.
after a few moments, a group of actors seemed to have set sight on your posse loitering around and were heading in your general direction. bingo.
within seconds, a lithe performer from the back of the group donning a dark outfit approached you. on his slender body, the simple, nondescript black hoodie and pants allowed all of your attention to focus on his mask. a white, ghost-like plastic sat on his face. fake(?) blood caught the light from the halloween decorations nearby, glistening like the actor had just finished off a fresh kill.
from the exaggerated mouth of the mask, rhythmic puffs of the actorâs breath slipped through the fine mesh, only visible thanks to the evening chill.
steady breathing.
as the full group of actors approached, whispers erupted from your group before you could give your friends a knowing look. before you could snicker out a âooh, ghostface!â, the entertainer darted forward.
a prop knife glimmers before it firmly pressed against your side as his free hand lands on your shoulder to pull you into the prop. his fellow actors all pounced on your friends as they laughed with fright, some of them recording the whole interaction to post it later online.
pressing close against your warm body, he mutters almost breathlessly into your ear.
âboo.â
oh, shit.
he sounded hot.
his voice was muffled by the mask on his face; it sounded a little raspy, maybe hoarse from the various voices he had to make this month. at your gasp, borderline shameless whimper, the oddly sharp plastic knife retracts a millimeter, its owner probably taken aback by your response.
if only you had noticed the distinct smell of metallic iron wafting near you.
the knife is hastily snuck away and he steps back, his grasp on your shoulder releasing. you could only assume he was staring at you through the soulless eyes of the mask, giving you an exaggerated once-over. over the course of a few seconds, his head travels from your face, down your body, stopping at your feet before the mask raises again to rest its gaze on your face.
he walks off.
the ghostface actor brushes past your body, waving the prop at your friends as if egging them to try something. his ominous theatrics were quite fun, to be honest.
once he was a few steps away, probably to look for the next loitering group of potential customers, you work the nerve to open your mouth.
âoh, boo, y-you could do better than that.â you laughed wryly as you turn to face his departing form, folding your arms and hoping the flush on your face could be blamed on the temperature outside.Â
something about that prop knife pressing into your side was⌠exhilarating. the too-sharp point that dug into your skin felt good.
the masked man pauses in his spot. the rest of his troupe had noisily darted towards a group of teens, hoping to get fetch easy business. their rowdy volume seemed to fade away.
your friends had stepped to the side to rest on a bench, rewatching the whole recorded ordeal from someoneâs phone.
less eyes were on you both now.
he stands there before turning in his spot. he cocks his head, the overemphasized motion was so accurately recreated. the masked man just stares at you, waiting for you to continue. the sharp blade in his hand hangs limply as he bounces it up and down in his hold. above, the lamp post illuminated him from behind, his shadow stretching his proportions on the stone road below. notably, his bouncing blade looked even longer.
he seemingly turns his head to your distracted friends, and after a beat, his grasp on the blade seem to grow confident, twirling it within his hand and sticking it straight out at you, playfully drawing xâs in the air with it. after a moment, you realize he was doodling that shape at your head.
after each completed âxâ, he would take one methodical step forward and the shadow on the floor grew more distorted, inching closer to your own.
with the blade fully out, you could truly appreciate how well crafted it was. for a prop, it reflected the one cold light from the lamp post above.
faintly, you hear him hum, but you strained to hear him through the plastic. the halloween wind blows and it catches on the hood of his attire, but it was not strong enough to tug the hood down. dried leaves blow past your shoes, flowing to wherever the wind intended on heading.
his voice breaks through the hushed night.
âis that so? i was only trying to scare you a little.â
his voice sounded gruff as he questions your goad; your knees felt weak at the low timbre of his words. his voice lowers further, settling into a drawl.
âyou want a real scare, darling?â
sarcastic affection dripped from his words. from the bench, your friends had quieted down, their eyes wide as a few of them took their phones out to record your interaction. it wasn't everyday an alluring ghostface stranger puts on a show.
you swallowed down your nerves, blood rushing through your ears. you knew you werenât going to die, he was an actor for fucks sake, but the air felt so different right now, especially with the way he was slowly waltzing over. gracefully, he manahes to make the quietest steps on the gravel. amazing, considering how his heavy boots failed to make much sound.
as he inched closer, his low humming grew louder behind that bloodied mask as he continued to lazily slice xâs in the air with his knife.
two slices.
step.
two more slices.
step.
slice. slice.
step.
once he was less than a meter away, a burst of confidence shot through you and your hand shot out to grip him by the collar of his shirt.
you yanked him forward and a stuttered huff of his breath collides with your face.
maybe you had seen one too many thirsty tiktoks of girlfriends frothing at the mouth at the sight of their boyfriends.
from a distance, one of your friends squealed before the rest of them shushed her before they all scurried away, deciding that they needed to let you have your main character moment.
with his head once again curiously and dramatically cocked to the side, he trails the tip of the sharp, plastic knife against your side. it catches on the fabric of your clothes and he laughs cooly, steadying the surprise in his voice.
âyouâre quite fun,â he says simply, the silky tone of his voice lulling and neutralizing you. his hand jerks to the side and a ripping sound reverberates through the⌠oh.Â
it cut through your⌠shirt.Â
oh, fuck. the knife is real.
you jump back, your heart beating out of your chest.
âweird way to convince people to go to the haunted house,â you huff nervously, covering the cut with your hand to prevent the cold air from nipping at your skin. you grimace at the man in front of you who continued to just stand there.
the knife bounces faster in his hand.
âugh, i liked this shirt! just give me the pamphlet to the fucking house; iâm convinced, especially if all the actors are as intriguing as you.â you joke with a roll of your eye. you stick your unoccupied hand out to the costumed man in front of you, waiting for him to slide the glossy folds of paper into your hand.
maybe youâd demand for recompense as well.
once again, his head silently tilts to the side, the exaggerated angle almost made you snort. the mask looked barely human with the way it seemed to droop so low and how the eyes and mouth did not replicate typical human features.
the eyes drooped sadly, yet you could almost feel⌠amusement? mirth? oozing from the depths of the inky mouth and eyes. the steady puffs of his breath from earlier seemed to have crumbled into shakily, uneven, excited breaths. the night air truly illuminated his rising exhilaration.
his nimble fingers began to thumb the hilt of his blade.Â
eerily, you note that the area was... empty.
where had everyone gone? it wasnât like that ten minutes ago.
âdarling, i'm honored you think so highly of me, but...â he croons, his voice taking on a singsongy tone. he takes a step forward, pressing his other hand against his chest, grandly gesturing to himself as he holds the knife out to his side.
âim not an actor.â
WHAT THE FUCKK???? HOLY SHIT THIS GODLY THANK YOU FOR BLESSING US WITH THIS
android x reader | 35.6k | 18+ & dc
In this world, androids outnumber humans, privacy does not exist, and your public profile determines whether you sink or swim in society. Following the dissolution of your job and glamorizing your resume, you're invited to interview with the prestigious Hyperionâthe world's foremost in AI and roboticsâfor a position to test the newest android model. after a surprising turn of events, you're introduced to Elio, the first of the generation seven androids and the catalyst of your awakening.
warnings; dark content, dubcon, themes of lack of bodily autonomy (mc + the android), forced insemination, breeding kink, forced pregnancy (not mc), implied abortion (not mc), major "mother wound", dystopian scifi setting, extreme classism, power imbalance, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, tragedy, graphic details, graphic depictions of body horror (towards the end), physical assault, deragatory descriptions (e.g. lepers, diseased, savages, unwanteds), drug use, heavy world building, heavy details & prose, dividers used between scenes!!
reposted from 2kmps; previously proofread by @ceruleansol
this story took six months from conception to end piece to complete. I am on my knees begging, please reblog + interact with this story!! I'd absolutely adore hearing your thoughts on it!
if you'd like to hear my thoughts about the story, I have some author's notes at the very end + q&a!
Researcher Kim knew you were a liar.
Within the confines of four colorless walls and a closed door, this job interview suddenly felt more like an interrogation than it did some professional courtesy. He sat adjacent to you behind a dark brown desk that pulled the slightest red hue in a chair that was expensive and ergonomic, holding a thin tablet with a tense grasp.
One thing you noticed right away was his inclination toward long stretches of silence while he studied your resume, dissecting every piece of it and your public profile. There, he could window-shop you, peel back every layer of your history without needing you to add credence to anything, or give you the chance to defend yourself when he'd inevitably find things he didn't like.
So, you spent your time sitting in a sleek chair with flat padding, ass aching, legs and feet consumed by pinpricks and static while you dug a nail into your cuticles because the pain kept you alert.
Researcher Kim was an attractive man in his late thirties, maybe mid forties if you were being mean, clean-shaven, dressed comfortably beneath a stark white lab coat that didn't quite fit his shoulders right. What drew your eyes down were his own clean nails, hairless knuckles, and a conspicuously bare ring finger. It didn't surprise you that he was unmarried. Most people these days wereâit was a useless pursuit, an antiquated system that held no social or economic benefits.
Not anymore.
Not since Hyperion Project was funded some sixty years ago, and androids became the forefront of innovation.
In the beginning, there was doubt, fear, and violence toward the first generation of androids, most having uncanny human likeness that definitely inspired aggression because their appearance and robotic intonations were received as mockery.
By Generation Three, shortened as G3 in most casual conversations and official documents just as their predecessors, a new normalcy had burrowed its roots deep and settled with unwavering confidence that it would be there to stay.
The need for delicate human touch became obsolete in most professions. Courts were no longer solely represented by fickle suits but steadfast machines that harbored no ire or prejudices, corporations saw efficiency more than triple without employees who fell ill and needed vacations, and the death industry welcomed undaunted hands into their ranks.
Once, Retro Cityâs Metropolitan Hospital spent the majority of their staff budget on androids meant to replace their surgeons. You remembered the media coverage, the picket lines and strikes, how the hospital was forced to shut down for several weeks as a result of the doctors and hundreds of nurses walking out. Many patients died during that time from infection and negligence, laying in piss and shit with gangrenous bedsores, already four days into postmortem rigidity before the smell became too much and they were carted away in black tarps.
That entire ordeal happened before you were even thirteen, but the hospital fell beneath the scrutinizing lens of the entire world after that and began ethical and legal debates on implementation of androids into society. It became known as The Retro City Metropolitan Incident, globally recognized and considered to be one of the first human rights laws to come into creation during a time when there was question of whether humans and androids could coocur.
Only a few years after that, you just having freshly turned seventeen, united leaders reached a consensus on the Public Profiles Actâsomething you didn't realize would have such a drastic impact on your life later on, wherein any governing bodies, employers, or well-funded institutions were granted access to all of your private information regardless of relevance.
The acts of a child, a teenager, were now a consequence to the adult self.
At the start, just as with Generation One, there was complete chaos and rancor toward this theft, these stealers of privacy and identity, but people had already started accepting androids at that point and knew bigwigs no longer had intentions of sacrificing their profits to hire humans they found subpar.
There was no need to.
People backed down and became quiet, submissive, and began to follow this new order loyally so they'd have a chance to find a seat at the table.
Many did.
Mother raised you to be one of them because it was the only thing that made sense anymore. If you followed the status quo, it would be rewarded with a feast and gleaming silverware. To be emboldened and resilient meant licking chunks of meat out of vomit on the ground.
You adhered and found a job, camaraderie with others, and touched an android for the first time because your peers said it was fine, that it was normal, that it was just an android. Of course, it was unable to feel or deny you, so it pulled down your pants and indulged you the same way you expected the android Mother owned indulged her.
It had hardly been an intimate experienceâall faithful, ingrained functions built into a database in the androidâs brainâbut the sensation of hands surrounding you, a tongue stroking you, and lips pecking your flesh was real, and that's all you had wanted at the time, to know a fraction of the feelings you had read about growing up yet never knowing because people didn't want to touch each other anymore.
Not them. Not you.
âDid you read the job description in its entirety? For the auditor position?â Researcher Kim gave a tepid smile, seeing you startle in your seat, suddenly pinned by your wide stare. âI'm sorry. I have a habit of getting carried away with the little details. Everyone's public profile is so individual, it takes some time to get to the parts that matter. I have to ask every candidate that question.â
âYes, ahem,â you choked on your embarrassment, trying to bide time to scrounge up whatever trivial nuggets from the job description you could. When nothing came to mind, you did the next thing and that was to just talk. âOf course. I was honestly surprised that Hyperion had put up an application. It isn't very often that you guys are hiring.
âSo, when I saw it, I knew I had to apply immediately because the opportunity to be part of such a groundbreaking company wouldn't come back around again. The position being for an auditor just makes it all the more amazing. I'm, honestly, honored that I was called in to be considered for candidacyâŚâ
âWell, thenâŚâ
Every bit of anticipation that welled up inside you crumbled once Researcher Kim rose from his chair and went to the door, the waiting room now appearing to you through the open threshold.
It was a barren space minimally furnished with hard chairs you had already sat in, a few tropical plants with leaves bowing from layers of dust, and most remarkably, a long corridor made of floor-to-ceiling windows offering an exceptional view of Retro Cityâs landscape that seemed to go on forever, limitless. You wanted to be stolen by the sights again, now especially since it was approaching the early evening, and soon the city would be aglow in neon and shimmering lights from faraway skyscrapers.
It wasn't all that bad, you found yourself thinking while walking in stride with Researcher Kim, silent as he perused something on his screenâpossibly something incriminating, possibly another candidateâs public profileâit didn't really matter to you at this point.
You had known glamorizing your resume meant risky business if you were caught: a hefty fine from Public Control, a strike against your profile that replaced the green sheen for abiding citizens with red overlay, permanently marking you for contempt until the day you died.
Back then, two glasses of lukewarm wine worked well enough to weld steel in your backbone to send off the application, whilst a third glass made you wonder just how awful life in the slums along the outer perimeters of Retro City could actually be. At the time, it seemed like your obvious future since severance packages would only get you so farâa few months if you were precious about it.
At present, the loud hum of anxiety receded into an echo that then wilted into obscurity as your gaze drifted from the final traces of a sanguine city skyline to the end of the corridor and then finally to Researcher Kim. He lifted his head as though detecting your stare.
âIn your previous position, what relationship did you have to the androids in your environment?â Kim asked. It wasn't a strange question. Some people still held fragments of old embitterment toward androids for the way the world now was. âYou were in marketing and merchandising for several years, right?â
 âGoodâuh, amicable, I'd say. How I was with the androids, I mean.â You weren't expecting him to continue talking to you about this. âI started out as an intern for the merchandising manager after graduating secondary school. I worked my way into marketing a couple years later. I did a lot of reports on demographics for cosmetics. Did I tell you my mother has a Hyperion android, by the way? I grew up with him.â
Researcher Kim showed you a fast, cordial smile before looking back down at his tablet. âYes, I read about that in your associations tab. It says that your mother owns a G3 model. Has she ever considered upgrading to a G6?â
âUpgrade? Definitely not.â You laughed like you'd just heard the punchline of a joke. He looked at you with humorless patience, seeming more machine than man in that moment. âMother is basically in love with Marcos, there's no way she'd give him up for something shinier. She's got a better record of him and all his updates than she does of me for⌠well, anything.â
âThat does correlate with data we've collected from women of her generation,â Kim said, only half-interested, shaking back one of his coat sleeves to check the digital watch digging tightly into his wrist. âIt also explains the large gaps in your personal history. Very unusual.â
You made no comment on that.
A door up ahead opened all the way, drawing both your gazes to a man waiting on the other side.
âAh! Excellent timing, Elio.â
With a single look, you immediately deduced that he was an android. Even from a short distance, he appeared tall and broad-shouldered, something that the thickness of his clothes couldn't hide from you. His proportions were balancedâfrom the length of his arms and legs, from first knuckle to fingertip, jawline to neck, the slope of his nose, and the heaviness of his brows over amber eyes that glistened back the fire in the weakening sunset. His skin was deeply tan, almost glowing gold in the light he was bathed in.
Elioâs smile was symmetrical and breathtaking, programmed in a way where his teeth didn't show too much. He regarded you with convincing familiarity, a sort of sacred fondness you knew nothing of, yet instinctively made your insides shift and burn. You couldnât help but be awestruck by his beautyâthis essence of fantasy, perfection that stirred subtle unease and needles on your scalp that ached as much as delighted you.
âYou must be the auditor.â He then spoke your name with considerable warmth, like a long-smitten friend, and stepped closer to shake your hand. âI am Elio. The first of the Generation Seven Hyperion androids. It's a pleasure. I am looking forward to this partnership. I hope you are as well.â
Your head swiveled to Researcher Kim for the right answer, unsure if it'd be too bold to assume the job was yours or if the scientistâs careful observation meant something better. He jotted a note on his screen with a stylus before walking away, onward past the door where Elio had been.
âWeâll talk about those formalities later,â Kim assured, guiding you and Elio through a duplicate hallway to an elevator that he sent to the basement floor. âFor now, I'd like to show you something. I want you to understand the significance of our work here at Hyperion, and how your position is a critical component to our research.â
There was a hopeful leap in your chest that made your hands sweat and your mouth bone dry. You wanted to voice appreciation, but the excitement in your gut was fast turning into nausea and would end up on his shoes if you opened your mouth.
Researcher Kim didn't notice, taking your quiet as newfound reverence. He spoke easily over the elevatorâs mechanical hum without losing interest on his screen. âI'm sure you know some history about Hyperion? I don't need to bog down our time going through it, do I?â
âI know enough,â you said, but that actually meant you knew very little at all. âItâs been around for sixty years or so. It's a leader in AI and robotics. The biomedical side of things is fairly new, started about a decade ago, I think? I heard that the worldâs first total artificial lung transplant was done by a surgeon and android assistant last year.â
âAh, you mean Altan.â There was some measure of emotion in his tone, a swell of pride and the hazy look of a man in reminiscence. âI was part of that project on the programming side. Altan was probably the greatest success in the G6 models and is still utilized by Retro City Metropolitan even now. Much of Altanâs programmingâadvanced problem solving, dexterity, fine motor skills, discerning subtle differences in patient statusâwas implemented into Elio. It'd be a waste not to.â
Your stomach muscles clenched when the elevator stopped, metal doors scraping as they receded and opened up into a capacious white basement that underwhelmed by looking sterile and untouchable, revolted you in your first steps out by dense air reeking of chemicals.
Researcher Kim went on ahead again, that impassive mask of his remaining despite the smell being enough to bring you to a halt.
âI can take us back up.â Elio said from your left side, apparently never having gone from it in the first place. You had forgotten he was there at all. âItâs been reported that people unaccustomed to this environment have mild side effects of nausea, vomiting, headache, malaise, dizziness, fainting, and, oddly, numbness in the jaw. No fatalities or hospitalizations of guests are known, and the agents used here are nonlethal to humans.â
An android was made up of mostly inorganic matter, so you weren't reassured by words from his repertoire as much as you were seeing Researcher Kim standing uprightâflesh, blood, and boneâgesturing you closer to a row of tall metal capsules. There were seven total, each the average height of a man with long sheets of clear fiberglass giving unobscured sight inside. And of those seven, six were occupied.
They were all androids.
Against shafts of dim white light spearing up from the floor, the decommissioned machines were a ghostly sight to behold with glassy, inhuman stares that shot straight through you. Some had features and skin so dull and dead-looking that it was obvious to you that they were part of earlier generations.
Almost a century ago, they were what people would've thought of with the word âandroidâ: an eerie, oddly accurate sameness to the human visage, but all wrong at the same time.
It was the skinâthe fabricated organ made to look waxy and stretched, just like a mask over some true horror beneath. It was the eyes resembling human irises in every way possible except for their vacant sheen, perpetually stuck with the gaze of a dead fish. You watched videos of them in school, always uncomfortable with how stiffly their lips moved, unable to form delicate shapes with their mouths, and yet sounds emerged from voice boxes deep within their throats that mimicked everything natural to you.
Every smile seemed more like an ugly rictus than a bewitching grin. Hyperion had failed with Generations One and Two to instill confidence, and from the throes of violence and resistance rose Generation Three:
The great rebirth of society.
Marcos was a part of that era, an investment that cost Mother her entire life savings because his countenance was so convincingly human, so lovely to look at that she felt he was all she needed. You had come along after his purchase, never knowing a fatherâs embrace but had Marcosâ. His skin had a luscious glow, eyes that could follow, and lips molded with lively color and cracks and mesmerizing fluidity.
You had imagined sex with him as you matured, his frozen beauty always the centerpiece of every blurry fantasy while you chased after pleasure. Not long after the Public Profiles Act passed when you were seventeen, nearly on the cusp of young adulthood and not understanding the world any more than you had before, nor how it would be changed forever, you kissed Marcos at the dinner table while studying for a physics test.
He was Mother's, but everything within his circuitry and programming could never deny youâa human, his better, one of countless masters in the endâso his lips pressed fully with yours. Only Mother unlocking the front door stopped you from anything else devilish.
You never had the courage to touch him again, and he would never touch you unprompted.
The defunct G3 encased behind fiberglass reminded you of that time. It must've shown on your face because Researcher Kim moved in closer to get your attention.
âYour mother should upgrade soon. Once the testing period for G7 ends, all G3 models will be taken out of production and their updates discontinued. Androids are machines, but they won't stay fully functional without regular tuning.â he said. âNow, as I was sayingââ
âWhat will happen to Marcos, then?â It was mostly curiosity that made you ask, envisioning him encased in metal like that came after. âWhat happens to androids after they're taken out of production entirely? There are almost more of them in the world now than humans.â
âAs I was sayingââ Researched Kim bristled, enunciating with some force. âMany androids of previous models stay within the workforce until they simply can no longer function. It depends on the generation, but older models can only go for a few years without regular updates. The technology is just too archaic, none of the programmers are interested in continuing the maintenance.
âG4 and G5 show some endurance, there's a small population still functioning in Retro City after being discontinued a decade ago. G6 we are hypothesizing will last upwards to twenty or thirty years without being forcibly reclaimed. Of course, they will have to be.â
You didn't understand why that was but nodded gravely, looking at the pod at the end of the row. The empty one. âWhat about G7?â
To this, all of Researcher Kimâs lines smoothed out, and his face resumed one of skilled impassivity. âWell, now, that's going to depend on Elio's testing period. On the information we gather from you.â Then, he waved airily to the file of android coffins. âHyperion has, consistently, only ever hired one auditor for every new generation. The six before you have contributed to society in ways that humans never have before. Auditors have changed the world, shaped it into what it is now. Can you imagine the world any other way? We're not quite the same age, but can you recall anything different? Would you want it to be?â
You didn't know how to talk back to a scientist, didn't know how to respond to such a momentous question, so you didn't try. It felt like your tongue had swollen in your mouth over your throat, blocking any intelligent snip you had simmering in your head.
Apparently, your silence meant something to him as his tense lips lifted into a smile, the kind meant to satiate strangers looking at you. âGood. Let's go back to my office. We can go over everything else there.â
âIs Elio going to end up in that pod?â You now visualized him in a box instead of Marcos.
Researcher Kim was already nose down into his tablet again, stylus making a gentle scrawling noise across the screen. âOf course. The first android of every generation is kept intact. They are important monuments of success to Hyperion.â
He said nothing else and ambled on for the elevator at the opposite end of the lab. Somehow, his answer was unsatisfactory to you, shallow, even, but you weren't sure why that was. In the end, after a life of serving their masters, all androids were obsolete machines.
That was their inevitable fate.
You saw Elio from the corner of your eye. All at once, you were reminded of his staggering radiance, wondering how he could fade into the background so easily despite it.
âHello, Elio.â you said to him like a friend. âDoes being down here bother you?â
Until now, he had stared upon everything flat-eyed and unreadable, especially in the presence of Researcher Kim. You were too enthralled by all the chatter and immortal trophies to see that or him. Still, he came to you with the same smile as he introduced himself with, warm and familiar, all the same sensation as flickering tinders on a crisp winter night.
âCan you imagine the death of the most distant relative you know?â he said in a neutral voice, continuing, âIf you can, imagine that for me. A relative so distant and removed from your life and everything in it that if they were to die suddenly, maybe tragically, even, your first thought would be, âwho?â You attend a wake because it's the rule and view this distant, far-removed relative in their casket. What would it mean to you, then? Are you more affected now? Does their death have meaning to you? Or is it simply that you are in the presence of one who has expired?â
âIâI don't know.â You hesitated, unearthing scant memories from the Retro City Metropolitan Incident in your youth and all that death from people you had never met. Mother had been in tears when the television flicked to a shot of black tarp-clad bodies being loaded into unmarked vehicles and driven away. âIsn't most death justâŚâ You licked your lips. âSad?â
Elio was closer than before, resting a hand on your shoulder. You shied from his touch. It felt strange, heavy, and hot through the fabric. The only person to have touched you at all in recent memory was your friend, Melby, though even those happened in isolated moments of drunken elation.
âMy apologies.â Elio didn't show offense, letting his hand return limply at his side. âIt's all figurative. I have been down here many times since creation and seen the others. They may no longer have their own consciousness, which is different from a humanâs, but I contain all of their dataâmemories, experiences, history. I suppose the equivalent of what I'm trying to describe is: They're not truly gone because they are the lesser of me, and I am the greater of them as a result.â
You listened without fully comprehending because it had never mattered to do so before. If this were to be your job, however, it would mean you needed to believe that what he said was worth hearing.
The problem was they all liked to speak in complex riddles that men like Researcher Kim could decipher and nod along to sagely, gleaning whatever nebulous mechanical wisdom there was, yet people like you could only gawk.
Elioâs head tilted a little, his smile not at all ridiculing as he corralled you with his arm, never touching you as he guided you along to the elevator where Kim waited, reveling in a satisfied quiet until you were on the upper floor again.
The city skyline was swallowed by dusk and starless. Unless you took the time to drive hours outside of Retro City into the barren flatlands where vegetation no longer grew and animals had left behind their skeletal remnants, you'd never know the sky could glitter with the jewels of the universe far beyond your reach.
You marveled at the lights, at blinking neon signage cycling through animations of winking women and toppling martini glasses. Between twinkling skyscrapers, the city floor was illuminated yellow with bustling nightlife, the air surrounded by an electric blue aura that reached as far as the eye could see.
âBeautiful, isn't it?â Elio lingered outside of Researcher Kimâs office with you, hand holding the door ajar. âIf permissible, I'd like to see it up close soon.â
âSure.â you said, glimpsing at his reflection in the walkway glass. âWhat would you want to look at first? Retro City has everything you could ever want within a few blocks of each other.â
He turned to you. âWhatever you like. I want to know everything that you love and enjoy doing. I have been created to enrich your life and fulfill you, after all.â
Nothing he said felt as impactful upon delivery as it was expected to be, you thought. It was a flaw in all androids for there to be a sort of hollowness in the things they saidânever quite reaching that emotional believability, leaving you wanting like a dry throat after a couple sips of water.
Elio hadn't sounded the same as before down in that sobering, chemically smelling lab. As you passed him into Researcher Kimâs office, you looked at his hands for a script and saw them empty.
He fixed you with a beguiling smile.
You frowned, heat flaring in your head as if provoked by an insult.
âThe contract I'll have you sign outlines Elioâs testing period lasting one yearâthree hundred sixty-five days total. It's important for you to understand that within that time frame, no damage is to occur whatsoever to his body or internal components. All parts are to stay intact. Otherwise, it turns into a criminal case, in which we will legally pursue.â Researcher Kim skimmed the first few pages of a heaping stack of papers, pointing to specific paragraphs and clauses highlighted in yellow. âI don't mean offense when I say this, but it's rare that fines as result of property damage to Hyperion androids can be repaid. I don't suggest finding out.â
The thought never occurred to you, but evidently, it had to someone elseâmultiple times for it to be such a focus. You weren't given the time to fully explore any page before Kim was onto the next. Elio half sat on the desk before you, arms crossed, having considerably less difficulty keeping up with the pace of things than you were.
Researcher Kim sped through half the stack. âI'll be conducting video calls every Friday morning for updates. Every Sunday before midnight, I want a thorough typed report submitted to me as well. I've put together a template and a checklist that I'd like you to use. I think you'll find it will make things more manageable.â
âYou're using a lot of âIâ and âmeâ statements, so I'm guessing that I'll only really be talking to you, then?â you asked, tucking your tailbone beneath you to relieve a dull ache creeping up your back. âI figured there'd be more than one person since Elio is the newest model and whatnot.â
Researcher Kim tutted, rounding his desk to occupy the empty space beside your chair to be directly in front of Elio. At first, he did nothing but stare at the android in complacent silence, hands behind his back, fingers flicking like writhing worms exposed to the surface and sunlight in a clump of dirt.
You nearly lunged to your feet when his hand shot out, gripping Elio beneath the jaw. The latter barely stirred from where he perched on the desk, arms staying crossed, muscles unflinching in direct opposition to your reaction.
Elio wore the strangest expression, one you had never seen on an android before. It was a face warped in subtle disgust, almost imperceivable, a trick of fluorescent lighting overheadâperhaps. Gone as quickly as it had come, he now looked ahead, perfectly inscrutable and disinterested in whatever Researcher Kim was trying to prove.
âI will be the only one you speak to during his testing period because he is my creation.â Kim said, bending his wrist to turn Elio's face toward you.
Your eyes met.
âHyperion provided me with the funding and brilliant minds, but Elio is the result of a lifetime of hard work and countless hours and sleepless nights. I've been there every step of the wayâprogramming, circuitry, welding. I gave him his voice. I gave him eyes. I was the one to put the chip in his brain and activate him. I gave him life.â
He finally let go of Elioâs face and took a seat behind his desk, a sight growing very familiar to you. âGeneration Seven will change the world. Hyperion is on the verge of rebuilding society, you know? I don't think anyone anticipated the sort of consequences that came with integrating androidsâat least, not fully. The population crisis. The slums. No one thought of these things in the beginning because back then, before you and I, it was about innovation and novelty and the potential of it all.â
âWhat's it about now?â you asked simply.
âRectifying.â Both corners of his mouth ticked like he had a lot more to say, but suffocated much of it behind his teeth and his hands as he came forward on them, elbows down on his desk. âHyperion has been working globally with united leaders and their governments to make amends for several decades now. That's all I can tell you.â
âHow has that been working out?â
His fingers moved with the same jerkiness as dying legs on a bug. âSlowly.â
Nothing else came to mind after that as you were suddenly struck with the realization that Elio still sat by you, wordless throughout the entire interaction and watching closelyâless like a science project to be gawked at, more like an instructional video on repeat.
âWhy don't you touch him?â Kim said, taking up a stylus to flick between his fingers with remarkable dexterity.
He didn't give you the time to gape.
âI know you must be curious after being downstairs. Aren't you interested to know what he feels like? He doesn't look like a machine, does he?â
âNo.â You relented. âNo. He doesn't.â
âThat's right, he wouldn't.â Kim nodded his approval toward your obedience, leaning back in his seat. âI agonized over every facet of his design, as you already know. Every bit of what is right in front of youââhe made a broad gesture over Elioâs bodyââwas once a set of blueprints. Intangible, just a dream I had. He's every bit a part of me, you know? Nothing would make me happier than to receive external feedback on him. So, please, don't be afraid.â
Elio stayed faithfully when you rose up in front of him and reached for his face. He probably felt your fingers tremble as this was all counterintuitive for you to doâtouch someone other than yourself, maybe Melbyâs knee beneath the table after enough drinks in you. It made your chest drum, knotted up your stomach in a way that made it difficult not to sway on your feet.
âHow does he feel?â Researcher Kim was already writing on his screen. âDescribe it to me.â
âStrange.â You pretended this was already part of your job. It stole some of the tension from your shoulders. âVery strange. Soft. Smooth. I feel some texture. I think this is what another personâanother humanâfeels like.â
Elioâs face shifted against your hands until the fullness of his lips pressed into your open palm, fingers caressing the fabricated bones around his cheek and temple. For a moment, you allowed yourself to indulge in longing and weaknessâthe invisible hot breath on your skin, the slight dampness of his kiss burning an imprint in your mind.
He still looked at you with unfailing softness. Meanwhile, you wondered if he would bleed if you put your fingers through his eyes.
âThis is a good start.â Kim waited until you were back in your chair to offer you his stylus and a straight black line on the screen. âAll I need is your signature here to consent to virtually signing the rest of your documents. Once you do that, you've been hired, and we can begin.â
âI have a question for you before I do.â You tried not to let your voice quiver, uncertainty meddling over all the confidence you had built until that point. Kim was relaxed in his chair. âYou spent a lot of time looking at my resume and public profile earlier. Surely, you knowâŚâ
That you're a liar? Oh, I know, alright. He didn't say it, but it was how he maintained his composure, that inexpression never flexing to confusion.
Finally, Researcher Kim broke the trance and hovered over his desk on his arms to get closer and answered, âI think we both have something at stake here. I'm looking forward to your phenomenal feedback.â
You signed the contract and melted under Elio's resplendent smile.
ââââââââââââââââââââââââ
Most often, your days with Elio were spent in a seemingly perpetual impasse of unrelenting observation between the pair of you. Both of your jobs demanded a level of attentiveness that came easier to one but more as the world's most impossible challenge to the other.
You weren't accustomed to this type of careâof having to give it to something else, even less to receive it from something else. In your world, only the immediate complexities really mattered: gossip, where your coterie wanted to spend the night drinking next, mass media hysteria of whatever stupid imagining there was now, and each other.
Why was there a need to concern yourself with anything else? The decaying state of the world wasn't your doing, nor was the staggering increase of human bodies in the slums outside Retro City. Sharply inconsistent birth rates ravaged on a global scale while people were displaced from the workplace in lieu of employers finding it less of a hassle to deal with machines than the capricious will of humans.
None of these things were allowed to be uttered casually unless in derision because it was too intense, making liquor cling to the throat like some viscous membrane until it burned their esophagus. Nobody liked unanswerable questions, much less talking about things that weren't as easily digestible as coworker drama and some new viral trend that involved shocking your android with jumper cables attached to a portable battery to see what happened.
âIs there a purpose behind this trend?â Elio dried a plate while watching the video, unimpressed but not driven toward any particular emotion. âIt's all meant for humor, correct? I have several similar incidents in my memory, except it's what human beings have done to each other. This sort of behavior towards androids is a relatively recent phenomenon, as far as I can tell.â
You used his response as material for your report, fingers flurrying across the virtual keyboard on your tablet before his words faded away, out of your mind.
One thing you hadn't anticipated after accepting the auditor position from Researcher Kim was how much work actually went into it. You spent well over the standard weekly work hours to collect enough observations to send off to Kim on Sunday nights, often whittling away at it until the latest hours, minutes before the deadline. It was hard enough to stay on top of his demands, but it was worse when he found something unsatisfactory, rejected it, monotonously unloaded heavy criticism on you through an âemergencyâ impromptu video call, and expected two full reports by the following Sunday before midnight.
Any regular person probably would've caved from the enormity of the task, but you had surrendered your choice to be that weak-willed, especially once Researcher Kim showed his hand with the fate of your public profile in it.
Should you choose to break the contract, send Elio back to Hyperion, and pretend none of it happened, you would lose everything and your ability to do anything at all besides rot in the slumsâscarred in red for life, perpetually inert.
Worst of all, your associations tab, once filled with still portraits of everyone you had ever networked in life, would turn up as empty as the day you had been registered in the census. It was considered social suicide to know anyone with a red profile, so people stayed vigilant and fast, sure to remove them the second it turned.
It had been over a year since the last time you'd done thatâa woman within your group had grown too bold, said too many things that made her seem crazy, so she was booted from the circle, lost all her associations, and who knows where she was now.
âYou look troubled.â Elio placed down a steaming white mug at a safe distance and turned the handle toward you. Looking inside, you expected the darkness of coffee but were struck with an opposing subtle sweetness and faint pink water. âIt's fruit-infused herbal tea. Your heart rate is above normal resting, and you're beginning to perspire. Caffeine will worsen your anxiety.â
You knew that but hadn't known you were scraping away slithers of cuticle on your thumb until the warmth of his fingers gently twined with yours. His grip turned firm to keep you from hurting yourself anymore, forcing all the stiffness from your hand once you gave up and simply sat there feeling his skin.
You'd remember to write that down later.
âWould starting a bath be helpful? I could use the last of those eucalyptus and lavender bath salts in the cupboard.â Elio suggested with great fondness, holding a patient smile even once you drew your hand away and shook your head. You had no interest in undressing and committing to your regular bathtime routine. âPerhaps we could go for a walk, then? It might help to be away from screens for a while.â
You checked the time on your phone before thinking to look out any window in your apartment. It was ten after six in the evening; there would be enough light left for a couple of laps around the block before needing to worry about being swept up in the cityâs nightlife antics.
âWhere do you want to go?â you asked, swiveling the barstool around to get up from the counter. âHenrietta's on 5th? You seem to like going there.â
âI only choose places that you like.â He already had a tote bag by the handles and a light jacket draped over his arm. âYou have great taste.â
Elio unbolted the front door, an old thing that wouldn't do much as a barricade against anyone putting their weight on it, and held it open for you to pass through first. The descent to the ground floor was always the most annoying part about living in a loft, but the place had come surprisingly cheap in a tame area of Retro City far away from the slums, so you didn't complain much that your worst issues were a bunch of stairs and some wily types skulking here and there.
The loft wasn't exactly in disrepair but definitely showed signs of character and age by the noisy knocking pipes at midnight and some crumbling brickwork that Elio often swept up and stood staring at for long periods of time when nothing else was happening.
It was strange thinking how scared you were to lose the place after the marketing firm dissolved your position and now how restrictive it felt to be pinned down under someone else's thumb. All it could take was one more rejected reportâa bad mood, evenâand it would all fall apart.
To that end, you made sure to tow the tablet along with you on this trip despite Elio's protests. He only really quieted down when you tucked it away in your crossbody.
âHappy?â you asked, unsure what to do with your hands now that they were empty.
Elio smiled at you affably, just as always. âIt will be beneficial to take a break. After all, part of your work as an auditor is acquainting me in as many social scenarios as possible. That does require us to leave the apartment from time to time.â
âBesides thatââyou waved away that stipulation like a gnat buzzing in your faceââhow do you think I'm doing?â
âI couldn't have been paired with a better person.â He sounded sincere, voice warm like wool. âThe world is as my predecessors have recorded in their memoriesâtherefore, mineâbut I am learning that our experiences are not all universal and cannot be. Two months with you have been my heaven, whereas two months through the memories of my kin have been cruel.â
A hot feeling behind your ears snuck up on you just then, flooding your head with the beat of your pulse that you followed by ticking your fingers. âSeriously? You're not lying?â
The world around you was aglow in the golden hour of evening time, embraced by those slowly dying tones of red, orange, and purple that would eventually turn the sky black. Elioâs eyes were on you, soft yet unyielding and saturated in all those burning hues, turning his mellow amber into something more powerful and otherworldly. You didn't believe in the hocus-pocus of auras, but at that moment, you thought his deeply tanned skin was haloed in pure glowing gold in receding sunlight.
âAndroids cannot lie.â He brought you back to the now, making you aware of the hard concrete vibrating up through your heels and toes as you walked. âMoreover, even if I could, why would I want to? A lie begets a habit of lying, don't you think?â
âIâm not sure. Maybe.â You shrugged. âWhy can't androids lie? I've never really considered that as a thing until now.â
âWhat would be the benefit of a machine that could lie? Lying stems from emotionsâfear, guilt, rage, hatredâall things that I am unable to feel, though I do understand why they are felt. Humans lie to protect themselves or others, to deceive, to damage. There simply isn't any reason why androids should be programmed with that type of functionality. Not when we exist solely for the sake of convenience and pleasure.
âHyperion is a trusted name. People do not ask questions. They don't think twice. They see a product from Hyperion, and they expose all of themselves without hesitation. They trust fully because we are machines, and we cannot lie and deceive and hurt. Perhaps it's when humans realized this that the world changed.â
You avoided saying anything else by looking everywhere but at him, all around at your surroundings, until you spotted a few familiar street signsâFifth and Third right next to Tanyaâs Great Cuts, Damaskâs Butchery on the corner of Fourth, a number of banal boutiques with competitively garish exteriors all boasting the latest trends, and then Henrietta's just past them.
âDo you know where we are, Elio?â Now would've been a great time to pull out your tablet, but you didn't dare try. Instead, you reached for the phone vibrating in your rear pocket.
âOf course.â he said. âWe're past Fifth and moving onto Sixth Street. Henriettaâs is just a little ways down.â
Melby had sent ten texts regurgitating her daily drama. This time she was talking about how much she hated some of the people Chima let into the group. You swiped to the end, didn't reply, and then returned to your inbox to find two unread messages from Marcos just now.
âYou should visit home soon. Your mother would appreciate it,â Marcos wrote, implying nothing more, nothing less than just that. It wasn't often that he sent you texts, but he did so consistently every few months in accordance with Mother's moods. Considering your last visit had been in late fall (it was now mid-spring), you'd been anticipating something eventually.
âThat's some great memory you have there.â Your thumbs skittered busily, first to flood Melby with a surfeit of questions you didn't really have to think about. All the stuff you could mindlessly ask while wholly absorbed in something else, like watching the news or viral videos of people trying to drown their androids in the kitchen sink.
Marcosâ text made you hesitate, thumbs floating in circles over the digital keyboard for a long time.
The phone buzzed. Melby just replied.
It was easy enough to type with your face down. All you needed to do was occasionally watch Elio's feet and yield into the force of his hand pulling your arm here and there. He led you along like that the rest of the way to Henrietta's, picked up a green basket by the sliding doors, never wandering too far out of sight so you could still easily trace him while he shopped.
After a while, the riveting intrigue of Melbyâs drama wore away with a tidal wave of emptiness in its wake once you finally looked up, tucking the phone back into your pocket. It took you a moment for your eyes and brain to acclimate to where you were despite knowing you were in Henrietta's Marketplace, one of the largest in Retro City.
âWhat did you want from here, anyway?â You picked up a gigantic red bell pepper larger than the entire spread of your hand. It went back on top of the arrangement. âWe were just here a couple days ago. I don't eat that much.â
Up ahead, flanked by rows of wooden crates with smoothed, varnished slabs and carefully stacked produce, Elio turned to you with a pair of generously sized orangesâone in each handâvibrant with waxy luster settling into the fruitâs porous skin.
You grinned at the sight.
Elio put one back, placed the other one, the better one, into his basket, and waited for you to close the distance. âI watched Wendy Carmichael Can Cook this morning. I've been watching it quite often, actually. She's a self-taught chef who, apparently, lived in the slums her entire life. She managed to work her way up and now owns two David Bugari-rated restaurants. Itâs quite a feat. Improbable, even.â
You wrapped your hands around a grapefruit in the crate next to you and spun it around. A twinge of something ugly and green swam around your head, flared you up like swatting an old wound. You didn't like hearing him praise someone else.
âShe probably slept her way to the top.â You were still fidgeting with the fruit.
âThat's not important.â Elio said, inflectionless. âI watched today's episode, newly aired, and she put together a duck Ă l'orange. Considering your current lifestyle and diet, I thought it would be a nice departure from what I usually cook for you.â
You smiled at that, placing the grapefruit down without collapsing the pile. âI don't want to see a dead duck in my kitchen.â
âI'll prepare it once you're asleep.â he promised, bringing one of your hands up to his lips. The shape of them molded against the peak of a knuckle. âIt will be delicious. Trust me.â
Then he went back to shopping while you envisioned actually kissing himânot an uncommon thought to have. He wouldn't be able to stop you if that's what you wanted, but instead, you informed him you were going to introduce him to Mother and Marcos.
âTomorrow?â He checked his wristwatch. It was nearly eight; Henriettaâs closed at eight thirty, and it would be dark outside. Not that it mattered much with how Retro City was illuminated like one gigantic fluorescent bulb at nighttime.
You finally texted back to Marcos. âNo. Tonight. Weâll just go straight there so I can get this over with.â
Elio seemed not to know how to respond at first, staring in a searching way that creased the skin between his brows, like he was trying to take a cue from your body language while skimming his database for the most appropriate thing. You didn't blame him for his lapse; Mother was mentioned seldomly and Marcos only a little more than that. Even Researcher Kim hadn't managed to collect enough information on your past to feed to Elio simply because there wasn't a lot to tell.
He cleared his throat, righting his features so they were unwrinkled and beautiful. âTonight. Very well. Should weâŚâ He paused, glancing down at the grocery basket of spices, vegetables, an orange, and a whole raw duck wrapped well in brown parchment. âShould we come back another time? I wouldn't want the meat to sit out for a long time.â
âNope.â You didn't want to go through the trouble of returning everything where they belonged. Elio wouldn't leave until he did. âLet's just check out. Marcos will handle it.â
The springtime air was pleasant at night, albeit crisp, when the blur of vehicles whooshed past once the lights overhead turned green. You could make out the colors of them because of how brightly lit the streets were. Neon signage from every corner for as far as you could see turned to life, flickering, humming, dancing with pretty women, hot white or purple or red lettering, and the lights inside most nearby businesses stayed on.
Elio had draped his coat over your shoulders while you hailed a cab. It was too far of a walk to Mother's home across the city, and Elio reminded you again that raw meat needed to be handled carefully.
You told him, again, that Marcos would handle it.
âââ
The entire cab ride took less time than you thought, relieving Elio who was still hopelessly fixated on the longevity of the raw duck he had wrapped up in a separate paper bag from the produce and spices. From the front seat, the cabbie, perplexingly somehow a human and not an android, constantly looked back at Elio through the rearview mirror and commented almost deliriously about how beautiful he was.
Hearing that the first three times gave you a happy, satisfied buzz in your chest, making you lean more against Elio's side. He was tempted to move his arm out and put it around your shoulders but kept to himself. Beyond those initial comments from the cabbie, however, you had quickly developed an uncomfortable feeling in your belly that wrapped itself tight like a constrictor on your insides.
âI ain't ever seen an android as beautiful as you,â said the driver, eyes in constant motion from the mirror to the road. âWhat model are ya? Definitely not a four or five. Yer a little too smooth to be a six. Damn, did Hyperion release a new one already?â
Elio held a polite smile, separate from the gentle, intimate ones that he kept for you. You didn't hear the response he gave to the cabbie because you felt his fingers reach through yours, pulling them apart so you couldn't dig a nail into the corner seam of your thumb anymore.
You spent the rest of the trip testing the weight of his hand, thinking of little less except how deep you'd have to go through his skin to see his circuitry and what else made him up. Those vanished like a white puff of breath in winter when the taxi jerked to a stop on a street curb.
âThank yew for ya business.â The cabbie lifted his stiff old hat when you paid, eyed Elio a little more, and only drove off after you had knocked on a canary-yellow door up some stone stairs.
You stared at a decorative wreath covered with flowersâfake because the ones used couldnât grow outside of greenhouses anymoreâhanging dead center on the door. No doubt Marcosâ work because Mother couldn't be bothered with those little nuanced social things.
Marcos answeredâbrown skin and hazel eyes that burnished green in almost any lightingâgesturing for you and Elio to come inside.
âWelcome home,â he said, far more unnaturally than it sounded coming from Elio. There was a certain rigidity to it, an effort clearly inhuman and lesser. He embraced you in a familiar way, reminding you of all your years of childhood doing this exact thing because your mother didn't know how to love you, and âfatherâ was just a word. âI apologize for messaging you to come over so late. You know how your mother is. When the mood strikesâŚâ
Marcos didn't emit much bodily warmth, never had, even in the golden years of G3, but he was there, and that's all that mattered at the time. His skin was still youthful and flawless, though the longer you looked him in the face, the less real he seemed. His eyes held depth and movement though were slow, less precise, and duller. The lines around his mouth when he smiled were unnatural, appearing to you nearly like bunching folds in a sheet of leather.
It was strange seeing an older generation of android after having acclimated to Elio over two months.
âYour mother is at the dining table.â Marcos moved on to Elio, taking in his image, surmising that he too was an android. He glanced down at the bags that Elio still held. âMay I take those for you? Hyperionâs innovation continues ever forward, I see. You are new.â
âThe first of Generation Seven,â said Elio. The bags were passed between them. âI would appreciate it if you kept the duck refrigerated. It's in the paper bag.â
âThat's no trouble.â Marcos turned with Elio following along behind him into the kitchen. âI'd like to hear about Generation Sevenâs potential. What is your maximum I-O? Data? Memory? How have the functions that have been implemented into you differ from Generation Six?â
Their voices were muffled behind the walls as you crossed through multiple rooms to where Mother sat at the head of a large glossy table made from dark-brown wood. It was a spacious area reserved to eat surrounded by floor-to-ceiling windows in elegant drapes with the best view of whatever the neighbors were doing. She had told you once that the only reason she bought this house was because it'd be good gossip for when she invited her gaggle of catty executive receptionist friends over.
Back then, she hosted her little impromptu get-togethers more often than she remembered to see you off to school. Marcos made sure you were fed and bathed, sat with you in your bedroom to help with homework, and sent you to bed. As you grew, the parties had migrated elsewhere, prompting your mother to go with them.
That had left you alone with Marcos and the boundaryless curiosity of a teenager. You didn't know if Mother still participated in such things now that she was older, less pretty, inclined to more body aches.
âI've been thinking that we should visit the new teahouse that opened up on Aflaat Ave. You never talk to me anymore.â she said, but it wasn't true. Neither of you talked to one another, just used Marcos as an intermediate. âIâwellâMarcos went through your old bedroom a few weeks ago because I've decided to take up scrapbooking and sewing and needed space, and he found an old shoebox full of your primary and secondary school projects! How quaint! He wanted to make sure you got them.â
âThat's nice.â You didn't want to sit down, unwilling to be her fifteen minutes of entertainment before she got bored. She kept on staring at you with wide eyes and crowâs feet and fretful hands, like a woman who still had more to say. âI'll make sure Elio grabs them before we leave.â
âElio!â Mother gaped. âMan or android? Certainly an android, right? Men are useless.â
Your rage was already bunching up and throbbing in the back of your throat. âYes, Mother, an android.â
ââMotherâ sounds so harsh! How about mama or mummy or mom?â She kept wringing her fingers together. âAnyway, anyway! Elio! He sounds so handsome. Is that who Marcos is talking to? What a handsome voice! Is he a Generation Six?â
You still hadn't sat down, though you used your hands to lean across the back of a chair. âGeneration Seven. I'm testing him for Hyperion.â
âFor Hyperon!â Mother couldn't fathom you doing more than grunt work at the marketing firm. She didn't know your position had become obsolete. âThis is certainly a surprise. Sit down. How did that happen? You and Hyperion? Are you trying to make me look stupid?â
âI've been sitting all day. I'm good like this.â That wasn't a lie. You also just couldn't stand the idea of giving any relief to her anxious state. âIt's my new job. Very coveted. I've been working closely with one of the researchers there, and he can't praise me enough. I'm looking after Elio for a year and then moving on to their next latest and greatest.â
âYou?â She spat out a laugh. It calmed the trembling in her hands for a few seconds before she was back at it again. âOh, my. Well. If that's the case, you certainly owe it to me for getting that job. My genetics. My smarts. You certainly didn't get it from your father.â
That lurching, angry ball in your throat was rising up fast. It was just there on the tongue making you gag, salivate, and begin to drool a bit from the corner of your lips. It tasted horrific and filled you with the most voracious need for venom.
âWho is my father?â you asked. âYou could be wrong.â
Mother suddenly grew uncomfortable, flattening her gaze with the tabletop. Historically, she had always been this way when you asked about him, the infamously evasive ghost of your life. It was also the only thing that ever made her shut up.
âThat doesn't matter.â She continued, âYouâve always had me and Marcos. That's what matters.â
âI've had Marcos.â The ball freed itself. âI just thought you should know, Generation Three models are being decommissioned. Marcos won't be receiving any more updates, and eventually, he'll just be a pile of fucking scrap. What're you gonna do then? You can't afford another android because you've sunk every penny you've ever saved into himâhis upgrades, his maintenance, his clothes. It may take about ten years, and you'll probably be on your deathbed, but he's going to fall apart and eventually stop moving. You'll be just as alone as you were before he came along.â
Motherâs face turned shades, petrified. You wanted nothing more than to see her shrink into her clothes and disappear for good. It soothed you to think about Marcosâ end being inevitable, unchangeable, a fact. Some of the guilt was easier to bury that way.
âWh-What are you saying to me, you awful child?!â She wailed with watery eyes, hands wrapped in the same colored strands of hair you had. âHow could you?! That's not true! Thatâs not true! Do you know how hard it was to carry you for nine months?! I was so young and I was forced to give birth to you! Forced! Do you hear meâforced to be a mother to a child I never wanted! It was that or death. I never wanted a child because they turn on you and say things like this! You horrible, horrible child!â
Her shrieks stirred a ruckus from the kitchen where Marcos and Elio emerged from. Marcos ran to your mother, took her in his arms, and cradled her against his chest when she began to shed very real tears that bubbled at the corner of her eyes before falling, curving along her cheeks.
Elio came straight to you, hesitating to put his hands on your body, maybe noticing how viciously you glared at this wilted woman he'd yet to meet.
âGet the groceries. We're gone.â You stormed straight for the door, chest stuttering with heavy breaths you tried to calm because you knew what came next. Your throat ached, burned fiercely like something had snagged there and you needed to claw it out.
Once you reentered the chilly air submerged in all the dark and light of Retro City at night, it didn't matter that you were crying. They were hot tears that left behind cool traces. They were decades of disappointment, of secretly understanding a motherâs love would always be conditional, of being unwanted and wishing you hadn't been burdened with existing.
Elio came out minutes later, the door closing softly and locking after him. You heard the bags crinkle near you, drawing your eyes away from a blinking parking meter you'd zoned in to calm yourself down.
You said nothing.
âLetâs go home.â Elio hailed a cab idling nearby and opened the door for you. âI want to keep the meat fresh.â
Him and that stupid duck.
This cabbie looked back at you both once to get directions, and then only occasionally afterward, casting pitiable glances at your raw-looking face in the mirror. The GPS displayed on the carâs dashboard showed the apartment was thirty minutes away because of traffic, probably from a crash they were detouring; ordinarily, it only took twenty minutes.
When your pocket vibrated, you almost didn't check. Unsurprisingly, it was a message from Marcos, just a single one.
âI don't think you should come around for a while,â it read. You didn't respond. Nothing new. Some sort of falling out with your mother was routine. You couldn't understand why she thought it'd ever go differently.
However, this time wasn't like all the rest. This time, youâd said something unforgivable despite her doing the same, but yours was worse in her mind. You didn't mind the idea of her disappearing from your life. It was harder to handle the thought that you'd never see Marcos again before he ceased to function, though.
âWhat happened?â Elio asked, a weird departure from androids being programmed, traditionally, never to pry. âThat woman was your mother, correct? What did you say to her?â
âWho cares?â You grunted, sniffing around the burn in sinuses again. âShe's a crazy bitch. She's always been that way. I told her that Marcos would just turn into a scrap heap eventually. Was that wrong of me?â
âWell, perhaps that phrasing was inappropriate, yes.â Elio touched your forearm. âBut there is no NDA in place from Hyperion. You are well within your rights to have told her. But, as I said, your phrasingââ
âI know, shut upââ You moved closer so you could lean against him. âI hate that woman. I hate my mother more than I ever hated anyone.â
Elio lifted an arm above you, giving you room to slide in as far as you wanted to go. He held you for the first time, repeating long, weighty strokes down your back, through his coat that you still wore. You were transported back to a moment in time steeped in cloudy nostalgia, blurred.
It was Marcos kneeling at your bedside, yellow overhead lights dimmed to nearly full darkness. The door was shut because otherwise a heap of cackling voices, Mother and her gossiping hens after too much wine, would spear in through the cracks and make you petulant. Marcos had already been trying to get you to sleep for over an hour.
âSleep little one, sleep.â Marcos had said, voicebox in his throat straining with a quieter sound. âI know it must be difficult. You must be rested for school tomorrow.â
âThey're too loud.â you whined, throwing your covers back with a great flourish, feet kicking them the rest of the way off before you huffed and turned to your side away from Marcos. âMake them shut up! Can't you make them shut up, Marcos?!â
He sighed, defeated as much as an android could be. No, he could not. It went against his programming to disobey his masterâany human who made a demand of him. His order was to get the child to sleep, and that had yet to happen.
âWould you like me to read The Falcon and the Hare to you again?â It was your favorite bedtime story right now. Hearing fictional stories involving extinct animals seemed to be of odd fascination to you. âMy tone of voice might make itââ
âNo!â you fussed, thumping your feet once, twice, three times and going limp again. âCome up here until I fall asleep. Please?â
Marcos nodded. âYes, little one.â
He had to keep one leg off the bed to even half fit on the mattress. You sat upright to fix the blankets so to cover yourself and part of Marcosâ one bent knee. His arm laid out on the bed, waiting for you to crawl into it until you were nestled into his side, sucking up what small warmth radiated from his fake body. Once you found a comfortable spot, curled up tightly much like a cat sunbathing in a single shaft of daylight, he began smoothing a hand down along your back, heavy enough to be felt through your thick comforter.
You listened to him hum a song that you liked, one that translated well to his chords and the vibrations in his throat.
He hummed. He petted your back. He hummed. He petted your back. He hummedâŚ
âDo you truly hate your mother?â Elioâs voice was delicate just then, aware that you were away in some reverie he tried to gently lure you out of. The dream was over. That one silver glimmer of your childhood became far away, forgotten while the sounds of the city rushed back into the cab.
âYesâI mean, I dunno.â You actually yawned, pushing one of your eyes with the heel of your hand. âI think I hate her. We've argued my entire life. We've never gotten along. Yeah, I hate her.â
Elio was holding you by the waist now. âIs that why you said what you did?â
âSaid what?â You were a little too keen on his thumb swirling around the fat padding your hip bone.
âAbout Marcos being scrapâŚâ
âElio, seriously? Do you ever shut up?â It was tempting to put yourself on the opposite side of the seat, but you didn't want to give the cabbie any chance to eyeball him. âIâI don't know. She just gets me so mad. I used to be able to crush up those feelings because Marcos told me it wasn't healthy to act on them. But, then, I moved out, and I realized she was still the same, that she'd always stay the same. I stopped hiding it.â
You were so close to his face that you could see how long his eyelashes were and the shadows they cast on his cheeks.
You looked into his eyes. âI wanted to make her hurt as much as she hurt me.â
ââââââââââââââââââââââââ
Midnight had come and gone before you finally gave up on trying to sleep. You spent the better part of an hour staring up at the high ceiling, imagining every rusting pipe you saw as immobile serpents stretched taut to make the interconnecting structure that sprawled across the entire loft. Swirls and shapes and blacker-than-black shadows danced in front of your eyes, twisted with the pipes, and made the usual knocking sounds within them, but nothing ever came for you.
Downstairs was a careful amount of liveliness and aromas as Elio put together his duck Ă l'orange that he promised you. You scarcely heard a sound from him shuffling about but more from the clanking pans, boiling pots, and unintelligible chatter you knew came from the television.
Maybe he was watching a rerun of Wendy Carmichael Can Cook again, maybe a segment from the news because he liked that equally as much.
And yet, as you made your way to the lower floor, mystified by the fact you were standing on your toes to disguise all sound during your descent, you saw that the television was set to an old crime show he watched with you on occasion.
Detective Georgina Reyes and her android sidekick, Regis (G5), were the undisputed heroes of Helcam City and solved every case that came their way with style, finesse, and plenty of moral and ethical dilemmas. The majority of the show was spent within Georgina's inner world and her near-obsessive lust over Regis, who was owned by the department chief.
Ratings for the show had climbed to an all-time high when Regis had gained a sense of self and the ability to defy his programming. For fewer than six episodes, it was complete bliss for fans of Georgina and Regis, but then the season five finale happenedâ
âCan't sleep?â Elio asked, effectively putting your heart in your asshole, sending your soul skyward. He must have gauged your sudden gray pallor and bulbous glare because he smiled apologetically from the bottom of the stairway. âI'm sorry. I didn't intend to scare you. Were you watching Regis and Reyes?â
âIâuh, no.â You sighed, taking slow steps to the bottom to ease your heartbeat eating away at your ribs. âI was thinking about the show ending. Have you watched it yet?â
âOf course,â he said. âIt was a peculiar way for the story to end. In my opinion, it was incomplete. Very sudden. It's my understanding that there was an issue with how the government was being represented within the show, and a few of the writers were accused of conspiracy to defraud the government and subsequently arrested for it.â
âSeriously?â You scoffed, making it to ground level, and walked around Elio toward the kitchen where all the heavenly smells wrapped around you, enticing you to take a morsel. âIt was the forced pregnancy plotline, right? Creepy stuff.â
âIndeed.â
Elio wouldn't let you have any of the duck Ă lâorange, saying it was meant for your dinner later on in the day, but he did steep you a hot mug of herbal tea (for sleep), the one that turned water pink, and offered to make you a light snack.
He went back to his tasks after you declined, satisfied well enough with the small swigs you took from your white mug. You spent more time sitting at the counter in silence, watching his back, hoping to gain the power to see through his shirt rather than actually taking interest in what he was doing.
Your eyelids fluttered and fell thinking about the car ride home: his arm around you, his thumb rubbing pacifying circles into your hip, how you'd been close enough to his face to believe you felt a breath leave his lips.
âElio.â
âYes?â
He had moved on to washing dishes. When he heard you behind him, he took a clean towel to his hands and quickly dried them before facing you. You guessed you probably had a strange expression right now, or at least, looked at him in a way you never had because the towel was cast aside, draped over the faucet, and his eyes flickered across your face.
âYour heart rate and body temperature have increased.â he said, giving into the pull of your hands after grabbing both sides of his face. You backed yourself into the countertop while still holding him, thumbs caressing the rise of his cheeks, bringing him down, down, down toward your face where you certainly felt heat blow across your mouth. âYour breathing has changed. I can hear your heartbeat. Don't be anxious. I won't hurt you.â
You weren't nervous.
You proved it by kissing him, full-bodied, slow, lingering. He gripped the edge of the countertop, bracing his weight against his hands to stifle some aggressive reaction, possibly, and returned the kiss with just as much fervor that you put into it.
His lips were every bit of what you imagined, what you wanted them to be. You had the urge to bite into them a little, to see if they could bleed the same way yours could when you chewed enough on loose skin. Their texture was slightly indented with cracks that gave friction to the moist smear across your mouth.
Although the sounds of the kitchen and ambient hum from the television in the next room stayed as they were, it was like the volume of everything had been set to mute, and only the breathy, wet pops of air and skin made it into your ears. You heard the delicate chatter of teeth inside your head when his mouth roamed the underside of your jaw, down your neck, to the rise of your clavicle, stopping only at where your neckline ended.
His hands had already made home under your clothes, first doing away with your shirt that he tossed over your shoulder onto one of the barstools. Next, he worked on the elastic waistband keeping your sweatpants on your hips. You flinched against his hands when they splayed across your ass, taking all he could in them while his lips continued a downward trajectory, traveling over your breastbone, along the curve of your navel, and then he stopped.
Elio had been on his knees for a while, stirring you so deeply that you had no doubt there'd be damp spots sitting inside your sweatpants, possibly even drying on the inside of your thighs by now. He helped you out of your pants one leg hole at a time while you used his broad shoulders to balance yourself. And soon enough, one of your thighs was hiked up in that same spot, his face hidden from you despite all the work he was doing to well up a hard knot in your abdomen.
You had to take a fistful of his hair and wrap it tight in your fingers, using your other arm to balance against the counter. He wouldn't let you fall, you knew that, but the unsteadiness of your legs grew, trembling violently, turning to lead like being buried under concrete or suctioned by water. He kissed and sucked and stroked you some more, pushing more into the spots that made you moan the loudest and fastest, fingers wandering you busily and lubricated with your own spend.
âElioâElio, let's move somewhere, please.â You shuddered out, trying to pull his hair, shove his face off of you. âPlease.â
He grunted, surprising you by relinquishing to the pressure, and made his way back up the route he had taken down. âWhere do you want to go?â he asked, lips sticking on your throat, rising higher to the protrusion of your chin. âThe kitchen floor? The couch? The bed? We could probably manage in the bathtub as well, if that's what you'd enjoy.â
âI don't care.â You were only half-honest and miserable now with the sole focus of trying not to touch yourself to finish. âJust⌠somewhere, Elio.â
âAs you wish.â
Elio hoisted you onto his hips, making sure you knew to squeeze him with your thighs before making his way around the kitchen to turn knobs and shut off the overhead bulbs. The new darkness was refreshing yet did nothing to tame that sweltering sensation between your legs. In fact, you thought you could burst from the anticipation. It was everything you could do not to hump him through his clothes, hands occupied in his tousled hair, lips together with bruising force.
Before long, your back was on couch cushions and the television was off so as to not ruin the moment. You saw dark behind your eyes while you kept them open, unfocused on the ceiling with the serpent pipes because his mouth was already back on you and helping you chase that high.
âYou're almost there.â His lips smacked against your engorged skin, making your lashes flutter and eyes roll back. âYou look so perfect. When you cum, I'll take my time cleaning you up. I can use my tongue. I can make you cum againâas many times as you'd like.â
His arms held your thighs wide open, giving him all the room he needed for those final, well-placed strokes that turned your moans into utterly drawn-out, lewd things that made you grateful that no one else lived in this side of the building. Your body wrenched against his continued ministrations, his lips and chin and fingers warm and glistening with your traces.
You had thought to worry, briefly, about something getting onto the cushions under your ass, but Elio had already thought it through and used the dish towel from earlier to catch anything awry.
It came in handy for his face.
âHow do you feel?â he asked from inside one of your thighs, kissing his way all the way to the point of your knee. âWas it satisfactory?â
You didn't answer right away, especially not when he came forward on his arms to catch your lips, slowing things down so you could bask in that fuzzy, satiated afterglowâdopamine and oxytocin being that remarkable duo doing their damndest to reinforce how exquisite and ineffably breathtaking Elio was to you.
âWould you like a bath?â he asked against your jaw. âYou can just lie back and relax. I'll clean you up.â
âNo.â Spurred by newfound bravery, you trailed your fingertips between both bodies, first to loosen the tie on his sleep pants, plucking the strings hard so he felt it. Next thing, your hands slipped under his shirt. âI want you to actually fuck me. Put your cock in me.â
Elio jolted upright, using the tall back of the couch and armrest near your head to hold his body above you. Cold air seeped in all the places where he had been, dotting your skin in gooseflesh, hairs within those follicles standing on end. You were laid out below him, showing all your unobscured nudity and vulnerability, withering yourself just a little smaller under the intensity of his stare.
This was different from the grocery store, where he had needed a moment to amend for information he did not have. This was something elseâflickers of conflict, struggle, restraint, and excitement were ablaze in his eyes, which shifted around within their sockets, giving you glimpses of pure gleaming white, which stood out in the inky dark all around.
âIâare you certain that's what you want?â he spoke at last, doing little to alleviate the way you felt he had seen your insides and bones. âIt is late, I know you must be tired.â
âAre youâŚâ You couldn't really explain the uneasiness gnawing at your gut, nor the thrill of wanting him inside of you regardless. Maybe he could fuck the feeling out of you, bring peace to your throbbing heartbeat and blood gushing to your head. âElio, are you telling me no?â
âI cannot do such a thing.â he said right away, coming down from his high place to lay the weight of himself across you.
You felt his skin flush to your chest without a thin shirt to hide his shape and muscle that wasn't real, but this was so much more than touching every dissected mannequin in physiology class in school. They couldn't kiss your neck while the interwoven, complex network underneath stretched, elastic flesh contracted and relaxed against your palms.
âWould you believe me if I told you there are certain functionsâprogrammingâthat I cannot override?â The waistband of his pants collected in a heap of fabric around his knees, freeing room for his cock in the open air. âI won't be able to let you go until I'm finished. I want you to understand that.â
That sounded hot, and you were tired of him stalling, so you told him you understood. âVery well.â He kissed you, guiding one of your hands low to his core where you could revel in the size of him.
He was hard in your grip with a good girth and length to him, a curve you'd come to recognize from toys collected over the past decade to hit the right spots. The skin over his cock was much a part of him as the rest on his body, hot, growing damp, and sticky the nearer you wandered to the head.
You had watched old pornography with Melby and the group a few times before from the days when it was just humans performing acts on each other. No one really liked it because it was so dramatized; everyone agreed that one of the actors needed to be an android for it to actually be sexy. You never told them that the moaning men with stuttering hips as they ejaculated was something you did like.
Elio leaned into your palm, the thumbprint starting to prune as you rubbed his tip. More warmth seeped out from it, wet and thick and perplexing and exhilarating because Hyperion made him so perfect, a better being than just an emulation of man.
His cock slid through your hand in short, quick bursts that eventually lubricated his entire shaft. He'd kept himself busy on your lips, tongue in your mouth, swiveling together the taste of you with saliva. It was the most inelegant he had been with you so far, yet you didn't think you'd be bothered if he did this more often.
âFuck me.â You whined, finally apart from him. The swollen head of his cock made a moist path along your core where you massaged it against every sensitive spot that set your senses into a blazing frenzy. âBe as rough as you want. Hurt me a little.â
He finally took your hand away, rearranging your legs so one laid across the back of the couch, the other on his hip with a knee shoved under your ass for height.
âI will not hurt you.â Both your wrists were cuffed by his large hands, pinned down into the cushions by your head. âBut, I cannot let you go. You must see it through until the end.â
âFuck. Me.â you said forcefully, uncomprehending to the things he was telling you, uncaring what it all meant.
âYes. Alright.â
Elio obeyed you as he was supposed to, cock sinking in with care, thrusts starting out shallow until the tip was withdrawn and then back inside again. The angle he had created for you made it easier to take his length. It took a little more time to acclimate to his girth and plenty of gentle encouragement from his voice landing right next to your ear, telling you to relax. It would improve in a few minutes, and he wouldn't let you go to sleep dissatisfied.
Indeed, minutes later, you were well beyond the worst of it and filling the void all around you with harsh, rapturous moans, which Elio enjoyed hearing. His lips lingered at your throat where most of your sounds resonated, fists still holding firm around your wrists, knuckles the same color as the rest of the dark but had actually bled pale.
The springs within the couch cried out, unused to this weight and ruthlessness, while the air stung with cracks of slapping skin timed with your moans. Elio didn't let you move from where he had you laid out, didn't let up on the speed and depth he reached despite how labored your breaths became, broken words eclipsed by panting and his tongue forcing them back down your throat where they stayed in submission.
It was still cold in the early mornings this spring, often leaving your apartment a little less comfortable than you'd like, but right now, you could've been convinced that he was fucking you on the ground in the flatlands and believed it. Your skin was slick with sweat, the mess between your bodies slippery and undoubtedly staining the couch underneath.
Just then, the weight on your wrists climbed higher to your hands. He threaded your fingers together at the same time his thrusts began to slow, hips rolling yours like a swaying ship amid languid seas.
The whole time he had been on top of you, edging you closer to another orgasm, he had hardly made a noise apart from whispering in your ear when you'd clench his cock too tight. Now, he was failing to keep quiet from your neck, trembling and grunting on your skin until, at last, one jarring thrust left him breathing out in relief.
He got you to your end shortly after, half-hard cock still throbbing and warm inside you, giving just enough of what you needed while his hand finished the rest with fast strokes. You winced. He didn't let off until your jaw hung slack, whimpering meagerly through the pleasure hampering thoughts and sensations other than pressure releasing from your groin, spend turning a patch of your couch dark.
âYou did well.â Once he was soft, he tied his pants back around his waist and picked up the sodden dish towel to begin cleaning around your sorest areas. âCome with me. I'll start you a hot bath and make you a new cup of tea before bed.â
You didn't want to get up from that spot, declared yourself rooted there unless Elio helped you up, and thrust a hand high into the dark room.
He wore a princely smile, you assumed, as he leaned down to pick you up in his arms instead. Moved by such a gesture, you reached for his face with your angry wrists and hands to kiss him all the way to the bathroom.
None of this made it into your next report.
ââââââââââââââââââââââââ
Melby didn't like Elio.
This she had told you over text after you declined her incoming phone call so as to not arouse Researcher Kimâs ire in finding out you were completely distracted during his exorbitantly detailed analysis of your latest reports. Two had been sent in before midnight last Sunday, as usual, since he was rarely satisfied with what you revealed through them these days.
Less than an hour later, while cozied up in bed on your side, facing the chopping blades of an oscillating fan, just beginning to feel yourself teeter off that edge from dull, relaxed awareness into light sleep, your ringtone went offâit was Kim.
âWhat else have you committed to doing lately in terms of Elio's social advancement? The last thing I have hereâŚâ A refreshing, fast pause followed, accented by the sound of paper softly swishing as it was parsed. âHe was brought to a movie theater on the twenty-fourth, Diosyn Park on the twenty-ninth, Henrietta's four times in the last week. That's not nearly enough. Who are you socializing him with? What have their reactions been? How has he reacted to them? You're not writing down exact times.â
Not once since you'd joined the video conference forty minutes ago did he check to see if you were listening to him, content with his nose being shoved down into a bundle of chemically smelling papers and glowing screens to corroborate previous work he had on file.
That made it easier for you to text back Melby, arguing with her in endless paragraphs too tiring for your thumbs to continuously scroll through that you didn't have time to meet up at Clamors for drinks with everyone.
âShould I tell Chima you hate us?â texted Melby.
Truthfully, you couldn't tell if it was meant as a threat or if she was just pettish after being refused. One of her worst qualities, never spoken aloud to her face lest she fumbled and blubbered all the way to Chima to snitch about it, was being horridly uncompromising to just about everything.
It made you anxious enough that your fingers started to ache with an urge, on the path toward curling back slithers of cuticle, gathering blood under the nails, itchy scabs that Elio constantly covered with neon bandaids so you wouldn't touch them.
Eventually, you found a new fixation with the seams of your knuckles and fitted the most unrefined part of your nails into them, digging up red that way until he had to cover those, too.
It took you ten minutes with fidgety thumbs to reply. âI don't hate anyone. You know me.â
Melby's was instantaneous. âWhat about me? Do you hate me now?â
Another one. âNow that you have that android?â
More. âWe used to spend so much time together.â
Last one for good measure to effectively drill a gory black hole straight into your pounding, cowardly heart. In her eyes, anyway. âI haven't seen you in months!â
âHe needs more direct interaction. I've decided that I'll make amends to the template you've been using up until now.â Researcher Kim was saying, not seeing you, not hearing you, assuming your loyalty to him and his cause was complete.
Ripples of drowsiness overcame you so powerfully that you left Melby on read, mind suddenly a vast, empty space and quiet for the first moment all day. Your hands rose to cradle your cheeks, propping your head above your elbows on the countertop because Kim's inflated droning had come to have that effect on you over time.
A human man with a face that nice shouldn't be allowed to talk so much. He should go back to moaning on couches in front of cameras and sweltering lights.
âLet me explain what I'm currently changing.â he said, hopelessly invested in whatever those alterations were just by the mechanical click-clack of fingertips soaring over a keyboard somewhere low and out of sight of his screen. âFrom here on out, I'm going to require that you gather between six to ten direct interactions. I want full disclosure of every conversation, transcribed or recorded. From my standpoint, recording would be the most effective method so I may make interpretations myself.â
You were thinking of what to ask Elio to make you for lunch. It was almost noon. You unmuted the call. âAm I allowed to just randomly record people talking like that? That seemsâŚâ
âHyperion works closely with Retro Cityâs governing bodies, and by extension, so do you.â Kim kept typing as he spoke. âIt isn't illegal because the information you're collecting is imperative to the Hyperion Project. Without it, we face the risk of progress slowing or diminishing. That cannot happen, and I cannot emphasize enough that your work as an auditor must come before other commitments.â
At long last, he pulled his face out of papers and other screens to look at yours. In a fashion unsuitable for him, he sighed in a fatigued way, back collapsing against his ergonomic chair, shoulders lopsided with how he perched his elbows on the armrests.
âRetro City has over three million inhabitants. You won't have any issues finding people for Elio to speak to.â he told you. âSix to ten for each report. Thatâs all.â
You were already back in your messages, backtracking your previous responses to Melby, asking her what time everyone was meeting at Clamors.
Right away, âCome at nine!â
And then, âI'll save you a seat.â
Finally, âDon't eat too much before getting here. It'll ruin the fun.â
âFine.â Phone now face down on the counter, you returned Researcher Kimâs concentrated stare. âI'll do my best. Six to ten. Six to tenâŚâ
That had done well to appease him, demonstrated through a satisfied smile, which pulled his lips just enough that the muscles in his right cheek twitched as though the motion was foreign to him. With how inexpressive he was most of the time, you weren't surprised, thinking it more humorous than anything else.
You struggled to find a smile of your own that wasn't strained, though.
âThat reminds meââ He positioned himself forward, arms on his polished dark-red desk with a curious gleam in his black eyes. âNone of your reports have instances of copulation mentioned. Have there been complications?â
You sat stiffly, not agape but definitely not composed, either. âSorry? What was that?â
âIntercourse. Sex.â He simplified it for you, almost with a pitying crease forming between his brows. âYou've completed every other area outlined in the template except that one. I have⌠refrained from questioning you until now because I do understand that, outside of a clinical setting, it can be construed as inappropriate to discuss.â
The only person you had divulged any details to was Melby. Even that had been brief and inexplicit because she had immediately changed the topic to something one of the kids Chima invited into the group had done that pissed her off.
âWhy do you need to know?â It was a defensive question. âIs that something I really need to write about? It's sex. It's just sex.â
Researcher Kim made an indistinguishable sound behind steepled fingers. They hid away whatever shape his mouth was in at that moment, making the whole conversation terribly uncomfortable. It was odd how exposed you felt like his stare was reaching long, further than just the screen in front of him. He wasn't looking into you or through you but rather right at youâimagining you some other way, unclothing your body with drifting eyes and invisible hands.
You were equal parts embarrassed and repulsed by that line of thinking, allowing your mind to summon up his ghost hands to search you, feel you under all your layers, know you as intimately as Elio had as though part of some extension of himself.
âIt is all outlined in the contract you signed.â Kim said, now with an edge that made you flinch on the barstool. âAndroids are developed for convenience and pleasure. I have reports for one, not the other. If Elio, as the first of G7, is not performing exceptionallyâif there are complications, if he is defectiveâthat is something you must include within your reports. I don't suspect that to be the case, in this situation.â
His eyes suddenly caught onto something else, going beyond you, but you chose not to react by looking. âYour work as an auditor has been sufficient so far, but incomplete reports at this critical stage in Elio's testing are grounds for me to terminate your contract.â
You clenched your jaw until your teeth throbbed, your head going up and down like it was on a hinge attached to your neck.
âPersonally, that's a hassle I'd rather not involve myself in.â Kim confessed in a straighter posture, smiling tensely. âNow, I'll ask you again: Have there been any complications with interââ
âThat's enough.â Elio reached across your shoulder for the tablet, pointer finger hovering over a red button on the screen. âResearcher Kim, it's time for lunch. Goodbye.â
He pushed the button, managing to catch a swift change in Kim's expression before the screen went black and reflected your shock back at you instead.
You watched him slide the tablet away to the opposite end of the counter space, unable to lift yourself out of this bizarre stupor just from how purely surreal what just happened was. And from the look of it, Researcher Kim hadn't anticipated that Elio was capable of doing something like that, either.
You just hoped it wouldn't cost you your contract.
âWhat have you been doing all this time?â you asked, tilting your head back to welcome his lips gliding atop yours, a peck, at first, which gradually grew deeper and greedier. With some effort, you pulled back. âMm, c'mon, what were you doing?â
âOn Wendy Carmichael Can Cook today, she saidââ
A hiss of annoyance. âOh, of courseâŚâ
âShe said there was a list of excellent bistros around Retro City worth trying.â He wasn't pleading with you or anything, but he seemed just about as dedicated to this idea as he had been with the duck Ă lâorange a while back. âFor lunch, I thought it'd be of interest to you to visit one. I've been researching ones I thought you would like based off of your dietary habits, allergies, and sensitivities. Radiant Bistro next to the Leviathan Archway near downtown might be a good option. Impressively diverse menu.â
You pretended to pinch lint off of his shirt and inspect it up close. âIf you didn't want to cook, you could've just said that.â
âThat's not it,â he assured you with a kiss to the back of your hand so that you understood he meant it. âSince my arrival here, your social presence has declined substantially, which will not fare well for your public profile. I do understand that itâs in relation to your work as an auditor, butââ
âOkay! Okay, I get it.â you said agreeably, hands raised, hoping it'd deflect anything else. âWeâll go. Let me just find a hat so the sun won't get on my face.â
âNo problem.â He walked away and came back with an old unbranded brown one from somewhere in the most remote crevice of the apartment. âWill this suffice?â
You looked at it, amazed. âYeah. Yup. Let's go.â
Elio had stopped carrying a coat with him once the evenings grew long, and the remnants of heat from the day floated into nighttime, trapping the city within a muggy gray haze that too closely resembled dewy fog in early spring. The difference was the heaviness and breathability of the airâone you could tolerate despite allergies; the other was deplorable and evoked memories of every single club you had drunk and danced in with Melby and Chima and the rest in the past years.
Outside, right now, sucking in the early-afternoon heat into your lungs after spending your morning in air conditioning, nose wrapped in earthy white wisps rising from a coffee mug, you wanted to turn back around and hide. Much to your dismay, Elio kept you on a short leash with a tight grip on your hand, probably expecting you to have a change of heart.
 âWould you like for me to recall the menu and read it aloud to you?â he offered, situating his hand so his fingers crossed through yours, palms flush together. âThey have fourteen types of sandwichesâhot and cold. Five of those are chicken, and five are of different meat varieties: lamb, cow, veal, goat, and yak, all claimed to be bred and raised and slaughtered in their warehouses. The last four sandwiches areâŚâ
You listened passively without much commitment, especially in the back of the cab where there was no escape from anything. The AC was broken. The cabbie kept wiping sweat off his brow and sipped warm water. With the windows down, the outside air ripped inside the vehicle, nearly stealing the old hat off your head.
Elio went on to list desserts, thumb gently rolling circles on your sticky skin as if meant to keep you soothed.
âAs long as I remember to eat lightâŚâ you murmured, remembering, glumly to yourself.
ââââââââââââââââââââââââ
Clamors was inside a three-story building on the north end of Retro City, about a ten-minute taxi ride to Motherâs brick-stone house, thirty minutes from Henriettaâs, forty minutes from your apartment, and farthest removed from the slums where congregations of profile delinquents and the unwanted were most dense.
Here in this part of the city, you were an imposter among manicured foliage, men and women and androids arrayed in trendy designer silhouettes that were protruding, sharp, and agonizing; sharks and whales of big business puffed cigars in front panoramic views of the cityscape from the highest skyscrapers. They could look down at the street from their window and see you, an ant scuttling meaninglessly.
This wasn't a place where you belonged, a feeling that never changed over time, even years later after Chima recruited you into his group and every night was a suffocating blur of sweaty, faceless bodies, explosive music, stomping feet, raspy screams, and lightly-flavored chalk dissolving under your tongue. You roamed the sidewalks at two in the morning as everyone had been kicked out, but no one cared because Chima came from money, a rare case where two parents could be accounted for, and you'd all just be back inside the next evening.
You weren't sure when you had become disillusioned with it allâthe drinks, the animal pills, which coalesced into saliva in your mouth, the noises, the gossip, the six ibuprofen to function behind a desk at work, the burnout of rinse and repeat, a conveyor belt that moved cyclically without a place to get off. To exit the ride meant to plunge head-first into abject terror, the unknowable, to become part of the yellow wallpaper that's never actually seen, to cease to be.
Being back in Clamors again after months away turned your heart against you, thrust the sound of its distress into your ears, dwarfing an animated conversation happening right at your circular table. You felt the music vibrate through your skin, make its way into your marrow, and rattle your entire skeleton.
Melby had a hand on your knee, blunt-tipped nails collecting sweat off your skin underneath them.
You couldn't really focus on that.
âSo, this is Elio. He's hot.â Chima said without looking at you.
âReally hot!â
âSo hot!â
âDid you hear? Shut up, stop talking! Did you hear? That slut got herself pregnant!â shouted Niva, a senior-most part of the circle behind you and Melby. She knew everything about everyone, though she wasn't supposed to keep tabs. âApparently her baby daddy decided the pussy wasn't worth it anymore and ran!â
âI can't believe it. That'd mean someone was actually willing to sleep with her.â said Niquan Lamos, the fashionable one always gravitating toward pastels. âA man, at that. Disgusting.â
Everyone laughed, including you. Elio quietly observed it all, seated at your side, incapable of letting his polite smile slip with numerous prowling eyes on him.
âHave you fucked him yet?â Chima asked you without actually caring for a response.
âOh, have you fucked him?â
âC'mon, don't hide it. How was it?â
âWhat was her name?â asked a newcomer in the group, fresh out of secondary school and not even twenty. He was a compact lad, both in size and from being squeezed between Chima and Niquan in the circular booth stretched in fuchsia leather, or at least, that's how it looked in your tableâs corner of the club. âHow come she isn't here anymore?â
First rule was: Never talk about things that could make the liquor go down harder. This was one of those things. Secondly, never ask questions about people who the group was no longer associated with. It just sounded ugly to acknowledge the rejects.
Tonight, however, was an exception because Elio's presence was an exciting change. They forgot how to behave.
âHm, now that you mention it, I don't remember. How long has it been?â Chima said this absently, abysmally black eyes wholly captivated by the android. âDamn. Something like Mi-dan? Mi-an? Mi⌠MiâŚâ
âHer name was Mi-sun.â said a nobody from somewhere at the round table. It probably would've been easy to figure out who was talking if they were more important, but it took less effort to blame the music reverberating from the speakers mounted on the wall near their heads.
Melbyâs hand traveled adventurously along your thigh, unmindful of how close she came to your crotch. You had a harder time ignoring that move and sipped busily from your jungle bird, holding it higher than your eyeline to admire its beautiful vermilion hue practically glowing against the strobe lights pulsing down from the ceiling.
âThis is the first time I've seen you drink.â Elio was leaned into you, wise to the fact that you wouldn't hear him any other way. His lips nearly touched your ear, voice honeyed, caring, all for you. You were halfway through your second jungle bird. âPlease don't overdo it. The adverse effects of overconsumption of alcohol will cause you great discomfort tomââ
âThank you, Elio.â For just a moment, you wondered how irreversibly damaging it would be to just grab his hand and sprint out of there. You drank some more to weaken your resolve, add lead into your legs. âI'll be good if you be good.â
Elio nodded appreciatively.
âWhy was Mi-sun kicked out?â again asked the new face from before, plain and boyish-looking, Chima's fresh catch. They just kept getting younger and the alcohol just kept tasting worse. You forced it all down, anyway. âWell? Well? Well?â
âShe was talking crazy shit,â Melby piped up with a drawl, fingernail swirling around a dark purple bruise on your thigh. She pushed in hard enough to remind you that it was still sore. âLike, she was fine one week and then every single night after that she would nooooot shut up about some wild government conspiracy theories.â
âOh, right.â Chima laughed while forcing everybody out of their seats so he could stand. âI remember now. Yeah, she went completely insane. I think she was talking about androids being used for population control or something. Weird. Hey, let's dance.â
âThat was a year ago?â Niva wanted Chima to confirm. âA year, right?â
âOver a year now. Who cares?â Melby said, staying put beside you while the rest of the booth vacated. âSheâll just end up dead in the slums like all the rest. Uh, they do all die, right?â
âWho cares?â Chima echoed, nesting his shoulders high to his ears in a shrug before walking away. âWho has the animal crackers?â
âSounds about right.â Niva was unconvinced, doubt lingering in her words until Chima came around to rummage her purse for pills. âOh! Only take one, they're so expensive!â
Chima stuck three in his mouth. âDonât kill the vibe.â He left without a glance back toward all the no-face, nameless nobodies willing to lick the underside of his shoes if it meant they'd be acknowledged and given featuresâeyes, lips, hair, an identity.
Niquan was satisfied with just one, offering a subtle wash of relief to Niva, who was just about depleted of her supply at that point and used the last of it for herself, tongue lapping at the inside of her plastic envelope.
You were almost finished with your jungle bird, contemplating a third even though you had entered the territory where one more could mean the difference between a happy buzz and splintering headaches tomorrow, just as Elio warned. The ice cubes had melted into a smooth watercolor appearance and turned from red to blue to green to purple to pink as the lights gushed down from above.
âI don't remember what she looks like.â you admitted to Melby who gazed into you, squeezing your thigh meaningfully. Again, you didn't pay attention. âMi-sun, I mean. Were we friends? Did I ever drink with her? Have I ever slept over at her house?â
âNo!â Melby snapped, affronted. âYou're mistaking her for me. You guys never even had a conversation. You hated her guts. You thought she was a freak.â
You made a sound into the last of your drink, unsure whether she was lying to you or not. âMaybe. Maybe. Was I okay with her being kicked out?â
âTotally.â she said, casting a fleeting look of disdain toward Elio, lip curling at one side. âChima only counted yours and mine and Nivaâs votes since we've been here the longest.â
âThat'sâŚâ You licked your lips and then the rim of your glass, secretly wishing your tongue would snag an uneven crack so youâd start to bleed. âWhy don't I remember anything?â
Melby giggled. âBecause you've been drinking, babe. It'll come back to you. What animal cracker do you want tonight? Giraffe or cat?â
âHm?â You were elsewhere.
Until now, you had gone numb to your surroundings thanks to the licorice notes of black strap rum and bitter Campari and pucker of pineapple juice that made for a mostly pleasant experience in your throat.
You were present in that moment, venturing a look around at the dance floor crammed with bodies (human and android) moving in rhythm to the music, in time with each other to create a oneness, a synchronism so strange that it put the hairs on the back of the neck on end like spines.
Why did it all look so different now? So alien? As if you were seeing an image from your nightmares in real life.
Elio failed to convince you not to have another drink brought to the table after all, meanwhile Melby said she was disappointed you didn't get something stronger, claiming you used to do it all the time.
That's right. You did, didn't you?
âHey.â Chima had emerged from the shapeless cluster of sweating, drunk, wriggling bodies a short while later. He reached into the booth, gathering a fistful of Elio's button-up shirt, and looked at you with a malicious gleam, possibly just your imagination, that just dared you to protest. âI know you don't mind if I borrow him for a while, right? Of course not. The rest of us are curious about him. Weâll be gentle.â
You wouldâve believed someone if they said your tongue was cut out, because as much as you wanted to slice into him and spit poison in his wounds with your words, rub it raw, deep into the bone, nothing came up.
Not a breath nor a feeble sob.
Don't touch him. Nothing.
âSo, you're chill with it?â Chima, beautiful Chima with deep-dark skin sparkling in rhinestones and spray-on glitter as though he were a vessel for all the stars in the cosmos, bared his straight, white teeth at you in the form of an affable grin.
Eat shit. Bitter silence.
He asked you the same thing again but grew bored and gave up on expecting you to do anything interesting. Elio was led away by the front of his shirt to the amalgamation of bodies like a sacrifice for the great black maw belonging to an abomination.
A few broke away from the core. Niva and Niquan were identifiable since you'd known them longer. The rest were unfamiliar to youâthe no names and the tiny young man, the android bartender, the disc jockey, the bodies climbing over each other and melting back into a single incoherent mass.
They all looked exactly the same.
âI wanna dance too, let's go!â Melby struggled with one of your arms while attempting to scoot her way out of the booth, but the alcohol and broodiness made your body into a stump, sturdy and immobile, roots bursting through the bottoms of your shoes and the shiny floor.
She plopped back down. âSeriously? What's up with you?â
âIt's too hot,â you reasoned, sticking a fingernail into the fresh glass in front of you, swishing the liquid around to make everything a more palatable blend. âIf you want to dance, I'm not stopping you.â
âYou're acting so weird.â Melby said, lost somewhere between frustration and astonishment while pulling a clear baggy from her pants pocket. A couple small pills moved inside, pink residue clouding the plastic. She plucked out one without looking. âHey, open up. You're being a huge snoozefest. This'll loosen you up.â
When you felt her acrylic fingernails press against the corner of your lips, you gently pushed her hand back and nursed your drink some more. âNo thanks.â
Melbyâs tongue lashed against her gums, sharp and disapproving. âWhy are you being such a fucking buzzkill tonight?â She traced your line of sight to Elio, to the others grabbing and fondling him, to his eyes looking right back at you. âWe haven't seen each other in months. Now all you do is stare at that android.â
âIt's my job, Melby.â You took the damp paper napkin from under your drink to dab your forehead at the sweat, trying to cool yourself. âI can't help that.â
âYou can take one night away from your job.â she decided, taking hold of your lower mandible with a claw and crammed the chalky pink pill through lips and teeth into the pocket underneath your tongue. âYou know the drill. Let it dissolve all the way. Stop making faces! It doesn't taste that bad.â
You tried to jerk your head away, but her grip was surprisingly solid.
âMelby! What the hell?!â It came out garbled around her fingers still resting in your mouth, filling the reservoir below your tongue with saliva.
Melby, blue-eyed and blonde with pale pink skin that always reddened in the electrifying, hot air in the club, was completely flushed from her face down to her chest. Her eyes had darkened upon withdrawing her two fingers, glossing your lips with spittle.
âI missed you.â she said, outlining the shape of your mouth until the skin started to tingle. âDid you miss me? I've been really lonely.â
Your least favorite part of taking an animal cracker was the aftertaste that was the equivalent of eating sidewalk chalk and rubbing alcohol with a whisper of strawberry wafting up into your nostrils, clinging to every permeable membrane in your mouth and making your cheeks tremble.
âIâyeah. Yeah, I missed you.â You tried to sink the lingering taste down your throat with a swish and swallow from the jungle bird. âI didn't know what I was getting into with this whole Hyperion gig. I feel like I'm constantly watching Elio. Twenty-four seven.â
Elio never lost track of you throughout the ordeal, his being unable to escape the hands on his body and fight against the programming in his brain meant exclusively for human satisfaction. There were moments where you saw each other clearly, empty windows between writhing bodies, and you were convinced he tried to convey a very human-like discomfort that you immediately pretended like you hadn't seen.
Interfering meant going against the group. There was nothing you could do about it except allow them to eviscerate Elio if that's what they wanted. You could only sit there, drowning in rum and pineapple and aperitif and demerara sugar and scorching strobe lights and music bashing your skull and Melby unfastening buttons on your pants, but for some reason, that didn't quite register as what it was to you.
âAre you coming home with me tonight?â Melby asked so sweetly that it made your heart flutter, or maybe that was the pill taking effect. âWe always have fun together. I've really missed it. It isn't the same without you.â
âWhatââ You almost tipped the red cocktail while reaching over it for a water glass that no one had touched. You slugged half in one go. âWait. What are you even saying? I gotta take care of Elio.â
âOh my god,â she seethed, taking her hand out of your pants to wipe her fingers on the napkin you used earlier. âJust tell him to leave. He has to listen to you. Heâll be okay.â
Fuzz had started to collect in your head, filling the entire dome with a warm, soft feeling that spread like a rapidly-growing fungus down the brainstem, coiled around your spine, stuffed your jaws with cotton, sucked all the moisture from your throat, widened your chest with stuff, and ignited kindling that had been sitting in the bottom of your stomach.
Just now, the deafening tone of music had been reduced to a throbbing bass that jarred your bones and pulsed in your hands and feet. Your vision wasn't much different than it had been before, only now you seemed to move at lightning speed, people and shapes and lights all confused watercolor smears of you shifted too quickly.
âCan't.â You recalled Melby had said something. âElio, first. Do you see him?â
âNo.â she said, watching Chima hook his fingers through the belt loops on Elioâs pants, knocking their pelvises together in time with the music. âCome on, I'll call a cab and we can go home. Weâll have a good time away from everyone.â
You made a grab for the water glass again, throat the driest it had ever been. A mistimed gasp came out when the rim of the glass struck your teeth, missing your mouth almost completely. Luckily, only a little water got on your shirt, molding it to your chest like a cold second skin.
âGod, that's good,â you moaned, draining the rest of it. âWhat are you even talking about? A good time?â
She eyed you uneasily. âWhat do you mean? What do you remember when you're with me?â
âPfft,â you scoffed, stealing yet another water glass you managed to grapple with two hands so it'd stop swaying. âWhat do you mean, what do I mean? I hit the pillow and I'm out. Why?â
After a few long swigs of ice water, the dance floor was less a mangled disarray of smoke and neon colors, more definitive and jaggedâthe stage, the speakers, the turntable where the disc jockey played. Even the beastly blob of grinding, convulsing people started looking like people.
Melby had lost all the red in her face, eyes riveted to the half-empty jungle juice in front of you, perhaps counting the beads of condensation dripping from its tall form.
âYou're usually really talkative. I think you're lying to me right now to get out of it.â
âHuh?â You were done with the second water, staring at her unfocused but suspicious. âLying about what?â
âIââ Melby withered in her seat, distracted by something ahead that you couldn't see, a bejeweled nail wedged between her teeth. âNo, nothing. Never mind.â
âWhatever,â you murmured. âI'm outta here.â
Melby didn't stop you from leaving behind money for your drinks before you stumbled away from the booth toward the dancefloor, evading bodies that came flying toward you with erratic, jerky movements not at all matching the pounding beat coming from the stage.
The floor was actually hundreds of individually tinted blocks of plexiglass with colored bulbs screwed in underneath.
During the day, Clamors kept it covered with a special protectant and tarp to maintain the integrity of the glass, but at night, it was illuminated like a nonsensical rainbow checkerboard. Each square took on a life of its own, flickering in unison with songs played throughout the night, warping into mandalas and spirals and disorienting waves that most people using animal crackers couldnât stomach for long.
You were close to vomiting up the jungle birds and your meager lunch from Radiant Bistro that afternoon when you found Elio within the swarm of partiers that reeked of sour body odor and stale alcohol.
He stood amid it all with a stiff spine, the loveliness of his face covered by shadows and terrible bursts of light that heightened his vacuous stare into the faces of those touching him.
The only other time you had seen him so devoid of life was in the presence of Researcher Kim. Now, he looked in such a way at Chima, at Niva, at Niquanâthe nameless and the boy were too scared of overstepping to have a part in it yet straggled nearby to feel like they meant something.
Elio saw you jostling through the crowd toward him, hardened amber regaining luminosity. You became the center of his world again with just a look, yet your world was entirely unthawed ice and serrated stalactites growing ever sharper, heavier, closer to piercing and crushing at a single point below them. The forest of brittle minerals in your mind needed just a single resounding event to loosen, to fall, to impale indiscriminately.
That moment finally happened as you approached Chima, his hand stroking Elio under every layer meant to keep him out. Your future was a far-off thing, light years away and completely untouchable, no matter how many times you were threatened with your profile, how you'd become nothing without your associations, how the entire world would cringe in disgust at your existence and leave you to rot.
You took Chima's hand out of Elioâs pants, hoping you had the strength in yours to twist his wrist so it hurt, wanting nothing more than to actually shatter the bone with just the pure hatred surging down into your grip. With the other hand, you drew it high behind your shoulder, muscles tense, bone popping from an unnatural angle, dense club air gushing between your fingers right before your palm released a thunderous crack against his cheek that shot up the length of your arm in stinging ripples.
âNo, stop!â Elio tore you away too late, right after weakness reentered your body, and he was able to easily restrain you. âWhat have you done?â
The clique had rallied around Chima, steadied him and examined the mark on his cheek, which was already blowing up in size.
He stared at you with amazement that quickly contorted into pure incandescence. His face was the ugliest thing you had ever seen, eyes an uninviting, pitless, and hollow place. This, you thought, was what he truly looked like beneath the popularity, cosmetics, money, and illusion of drugs.
âKeep your hands to yourself!â you screamed.
âWhat the fuck is wrong with you?!â He tried to lunge at you but was held back by Niva, Niquan, and various ghostly hands. âHow dare you. How dare you touch me, you sad sack of shit! You ungrateful nobody! I can ruin you! I can make sure you get thrown into the slums and your fucking insides get ate out by all those filthy savages.â
âThat's better than this.â You felt Elio tighten his arms around you, feet shuffling backward to try to separate you from this. Dancers were beginning to gather around the scene, both grossly fascinated and terrified because they'd never seen a fight between humans. âIt's better than the stupid drugs. It's better than this club. It's better than all your shitty little followers. Itâs better than you.â
To this, Chima stared wide-eyed and gave a derisive laugh. âYou seriously hit me because I was touching the android? He's a fucking machine! What else is he useful for?!â
You were still being coaxed out of the gathering, Elio's lips whispering pacifying words into your ear that you didn't hear.
âDon'tâDonât talk about him like that.â
Chimaâs visage relaxed into one you were used to seeing. A man who knew he had all the time and power in the world and that he could do anything with it. He swatted away all the helping hands and straightened his clothes.
âNot only are you fucking insane,â he said, smiling without remorse. âNow, you're also dead.â
ââââââââââââââââââââââââ
The decision to retch into a convenience store trash can happened because you couldn't bring yourself to do it in the neatly barbered bush you had been closer to at the time. You had separated the metal lid from the metal body so you could simply lean over and spew into it freely.
Smells emanating from insideâexpedited food rottage from summer heat, curdled drinks, bagged-up dog shit, and God knows what elseâdid better to evacuate your stomach than the insane lighted floor in Clamors.
Most of what came up lacked the usual sourness, ran watery like a geyser of diluted red jungle bird with occasional chunks of undigested sandwich and probably everything from three days ago.
Elio wiped your face clean at every chance he got, those seldom moments where you could cough and catch your breath for just a few seconds before your stomach clenched and more climbed up your esophagus and exited your body. There wasn't much he could do apart from dab your skin and keep your clothes from the trajectory.
âWhy?â Elio spoke sometime later once the waves of nausea had tapered to a degree where you could sit on a bench outside the convenience store and take a bottle of water he had ready for you. âWhy did you do it?â
âBecauseââ you said, not bothering to finish after swigging and swishing and spitting the acrid taste that lingered on your tongue, between your teeth, and in the ridges of your gums. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't get rid of it all. It stuck in your mouth like bitter tar. âBecause.â
You went on to repeat the rinse and swish a few more times, ultimately tilting the bottle upside down to crush the cheap plastic in your fist so it gushed down on your head.
For a second, you imagined turning on a spigot to shock your scalp with cold water, flattening all your hair, pasting your clothes flush and translucent to your body like a second skin to peel away later.
The humid nighttime air was suddenly so much less oppressive than it had been. A subtle breeze had picked up throughout the course of the day, not doing much to tame the heat overall, but the fat pearls of water streaming down your back made you shiver. You counted all the drops that coalesced into shimmering beads on the tips of your hair, your eyelashes, and your nose and fell onto the pale gray cement underfoot.
Elio had already unbuttoned his shirt to the navel, just above where he had rebuckled his pants and tried to pull the rest of the fabric free.
âOh, Elio. Don't.â
He pulled you into him despite your protest, swathing you from behind first with the shirt and then his arms as he held you against his chest. Fortunately, he had worn an airy undershirt so his body wasn't on display for anyone else, though there was no one around at this hour.
He soothed you with long strokes along your back. His touch amplified to a point where it hurt as much as it felt good. You knew what fingers he used more pressure with, where the heel of his hand touched you next. You could feel where he chose to linger and knead at knots under your skin, imagining the sensation similar to using a sharpened stone or ice pick
âI'm fucked.â you mumbled sullenly in his embrace, warmth dissipated as you had soaked his undershirt all the way through. âI'm so fucked.â
âIt was unwise, yes,â he said in silken tones from atop your head, thin jaw pushed down into your wet hair, grinding and rotating when he'd speak. âI had you in my mind the entire time. I was prepared to let him do as he pleased if it meant preventing a confrontationâI failed. But, I hadn't expected you to hit him. None of the outcomes I calculated had that conclusion. I'm sorry.â
âNo. I'm glad I did it.â You worried that you were being overconfident, too hopeful toward a future unraveling at your feet as you spoke. âI couldnât stand how everyone was staring at youâtouching you. Everything just felt so wrong, but, why? The only thing that was different was you being there, Elio. I saw youâyou looked so uncomfortable. I was so hot. I think I was seeing things after taking the animal cracker. I just got so angry.â
Usually, Elio was the type to scavenge your history as thoroughly as he could, however minimal or inconsequential it all seemed to you at the time. It was a quintessential part of his programming as an androidâof all androidsâto want to dissect everything there was to know about their masters, knowing them better than their masters knew themselves.
You considered making it effortless for him, volunteering your past with animal crackers and how they used to not hurt at all. At one time, you could binge them for days without violent side effects thatâd plague a normal person for weeks.
âThere are no pharmacological benefits associated with their use,â was what you heard him say in your head, firm yet loving, melting into his sensual strokes tracing parallel along the length of your spine. âProlonged use has been known to create perforations in the gastrointestinal tract, heart dysrhythmiasâŚâ
He didn't regurgitate that information at you. In fact, he said nothing at all. Besides the hand sweeping down your body steadily, lips and shapely nose burrowed in your limp seaweed-string hair, he didn't move at all. There was no stuttering heartbeat between you except your own. Even his breaths had gone still, chest straight down and unmoving.
Elio was a machine.
It was so easy to forget while wrapped up in daily mundanities. It wasn't so easy to forget in this moment where you wanted to crack him open, scoop out each precious piece of him with your bare hands, and hide yourself within his husk.
You were sick of the silence, so you pinched him hard under the arm, right next to the crease starting his shoulder. It made you feel better to do so, and he'd pay attention to youâ
He hissed and reeled away from your touch, startling you out of his arms because you didn't know how else to react.
âDid youâElio, did you feel that?â you asked incredulously, voice whittling into a self-conscious mumble once you realized the words leaving your mouth. They didn't stop. âDid that hurt you?â
The spot where you pinched was hard to see from the layer of his shirt sleeve, but his fingers rubbed there insistently like he were actually trying to alleviate pain.
âOnce, during my early development, Researcher Kim had told me he wanted to close the gap between what people think separates androids and humans.â Elio explained, coming close again to touch you and dry your temples with his shirt on your back. âIt's unlikely that what you perceive as pain and what I am programmed to perceive as pain are absolutely comparable, but there's some common ground.â
âI'm sorry, Elio. I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't know I could.â Your voice weakened to a whisper, throat clenched in shame as your skin grew hot. It was like you were still stuck in the throbbing, stiff air of the club and not in the spacious nighttime breeze.
He looked you in the face, almost-orange eyes flitting inside their orbital sockets trying to find something distant and unknown in your expression. You guessed he was assessing your sincerityânot for himself because he needed it, but to know how it took shape on you and bent your brows, molded your lips, dimpled your chin, deepened the lines.
Then he asked, "If I hadn't reactedâif my circuitry were less sensitive and I could feel nothing at all aside from your fingers on my skin, would you have done it again? Would you keep doing it?"
"What are you trying to say?â
"Globally, since the widespread distribution of androids, the occurrence of domestic and public disputes has been halved. I have been designed to be non-violent, as have all of my predecessors.â As if for effect, Elio took one of your hands and pushed your palm flat to his warm cheek. âI have no desire to hurt you, but I am also incapable of doing so.â
You couldn't wrench yourself from his grip, so that's how you remained, caressing his soft, smooth skin while your thumbpad skirted along the round bone below his eye.
This was more than you could handle right now. All of the illness and nausea that came with the burdensome summer heat, the animal cracker, every bit of liquid and food to enter your stomach, the memory of slapping Chimaâit came back, crashing down like an avalanche carrying your regrets, fears, malaise.
âI'm not going to hit you.â You were gagging around saliva pooling into the front of your mouth. âChima was different. He deserved it.â
âPerhaps,â Elio agreed, entwining fingers with the ones on his cheek. He kissed your open palm with great passion and some semblance of regret. âBut, I wish you would have hit me instead. I have failed one of the most basic parts of programming by putting you and others in harm. You may now end up suffering greatly because of it.â
You did get sick again.
ââââââââââââââââââââââââ
Elio had persistently warded off Researcher Kimâs video calls for three days while you recovered upstairs beneath every comforter you owned, maximum air conditioning, and heavy curtains to shun out all natural light from ever reaching your bedside. Time came and went without peril or concept to you, seeming to evaporate into the air like nothing, much like how your steady, quiet breaths did the same. They simply came and went; inhale and exhale, no writhing white plumes drifted overhead to prove they belonged to you or that you were even alive. Not in the dead of summer.
 Five days total had passed before you could take the staircase down from the loft without Elio's assistance and eat or drink anything of substance that didn't end with it all being violently evacuated from your body.
Sleep remained elusive to you despite the sedatives and special hot tea recipes from online that Elio pushed down your throat. The migraines persisted even with prescription painkillers Melby had stolen for you forever ago and rough romps of sex that left you winded, glistening, and cold on the sheets when the oscillating fans blew air across your skin.
Whatever excuse Elio had fed to Researcher Kim over the days you were incapacitated worked because when you were finally back at the counter on a video call with him, he didn't ask you about it or chastise you much about the holes in your reports for that week.
âI see that Elio had been proving himself to be quite self-sufficient. I have here six separate occasions where he's ventured out on his own?â Kim looped a stylus through his fingers fluidly, concentrating on what little information he could glean from your submissions. âHenrietta's, mostly. I see he's had to visit the dry cleaners. General store. Pharmacy. He's also been completing the six to ten interactions by himself. Absolutely phenomenal!â
Your attention kept drifting away from Kim. It went to Elio, who placed a white mug down quietly next to you, the handle within reach of your fingers. Beyond the pale-gray wisps spiraling up into the air and dissipating among the snaking pipes sprawling the high ceiling, the liquid inside was pale yellow. Diluted green tea, maybe white tea, if you had to guess. They were among the few things you could stomach right now.
He offered you a fast smile, somewhat unlike himself, and leaned into your lips.
The sight went unnoticed by Kim, who was still captivated by the level of initiative and intelligence his creation displayed. Every word you managed to construct through sedative-induced delirium mesmerized him so thoroughly that he missed the groping hands under your shirt, the smothered moans, and the fact that you had exited view of the screen for fifteen minutes while being laid out on the couch and feasted on through an orgasm.
Wendy Carmichael Can Cook came on the television, a solid distraction for Elio. Todayâs episode was a rerun featuring some sort of elevated mush dinner popular in the slums. With some canned foods capable of surviving nuclear fallout, herbs you were almost positive had gone extinct forty years ago, and spices so rare they were untouchable, Wendy concocted something truly groundbreaking to the audienceâs eyes.
Elio looked only half-interested in the episode. Meanwhile, you went to the bathroom to clean yourself up and took three painkillers before sitting back down behind the counter. Researcher Kim had yet to lose the wind in his lungs, though now you weren't sure what he was talking about.
The tea was lukewarm and non-irritating just like you thought it'd be.
Your phone had survived the whole five days on a single charge as you had been too afraid to touch it, not because you were scared to see what was there but because you didn't want to know what was no longer there.
True to the fear, while holding a large breath you had sucked into your lungs, believing it to be the sturdiest barrier against whatever you'd discover, there was no one left in your phone logâexcept Melby.
The rest: Chima, Niva, Niquan, Marcos, Mother, and all the others who had once been listed there before like mock trophies to bolster your sense of worth, the swell of pride that came from knowing important people and integrating yourself into their lives to be something special, simply did not exist anymore.
You didn't have to search up your public profile to know that it was barren as well.
Once Chima went, everyone else went with himâboth from the circle and those you'd networked throughout life. Even if it had been someone else, the end result would've stayed the same, exactly as it is now.
âWhat do you want? I'm not supposed to be talking to you.â Melby had answered her phone after six rings. The background seemed purposefully mute for your call. Perhaps she was just at home nursing the after-effects of things as well. âYou there?â
Researcher Kim sieved through paperwork, now entranced by comparing Elio's earlier behaviors in the infancy of design to now. You lowered the volume to where his voice was a low hum, like mumbling through a wall you flattened yourself to.
âLet me guess, Chima told you that?â you said, sipping gingerly from your mug. âHow much did he tell you? Was he actually honest, or did he just tell you I was fucking crazy?â
âYou weren't acting right all night.â Melby countered in her surefooted drawl. âI don't understand what's happening to you, or why you've been acting so differently. You shouldn't have hit Chima.â
âHe shouldn't have touched Elio.â
You could imagine her temper flaring, fair skin glowing pink in the face and chest as she kicked around the comforters on her bed. She strangled a sound in her throat that emanated through the phone as a low groan. Strands of her fried blonde hair scuffed together like pieces of straw when she scratched her head. It was unmistakable.
âWhat is going on with you?â she demanded, on the verge of tears, voice fading out in glimpses like she was moving away from the speaker. âElioâheâs just an android. I know he's some radical new innovation, but he'll be saturating the market in six months like every other Hyperion android. There's always going to be more of him. Chima, though, he's actually human. You can just throw away an android.â
Emotions asideâMelby wasn't wrong.
The price of innovation always meant leaving something behind. Whether or not you wanted to see it, if Elio passed his testing period, he'd be decommissioned in a metal box down in the basement at Hyperion while copies and variations of him were added to the heaps of scrap in landfill once the next model came out.
Melby then said something else, âI don't think this is about the android.â
âOh?â you said, passing a glance along toward the tablet to see that Kim still had his nose pointed down. âMaybe you're right. You know me so well.â
âDo you want to know what I think?â Melby asked.
You observed while Elio roamed the apartment, crouching to pick up the odds and ends that had gone neglected over the days you'd been bedridden, and he had stayed with you to keep you company. He tossed soiled clothes into a hamper, crumbled medication wrappers into the trash, and took your cold tea away to prepare more.
Inspired by your silence, mistaking it as timid submission, Melby went on. âI know you must think we're just being shepherded along, just doing whatever we're told because we don't know what else to do other than follow the loudest voice in the crowd.â
âYou know me so well.â
âI know you blame everyone else for what happened at Clamors, but you put yourself in that situation.â Melby said, interjecting in a pitch higher when she heard you take in a breath, âAht! Aht! I'm not done! No one else is gonna talk to you now, so I'll tell you what we're all thinking: Our circle? We're special. If we always smile and talk about the same things and agree about the same things, we stay together. We stay safe. You've never really wanted to do that, it was always noticeable. I think that's why you and Mi-sun always got along, because you two just did things to fit in, not because you actually cared or wanted to be a part of it.
âI didn't lose you, right? Chima always talked about ways of getting you out of the group. He didn't think you were trustworthy. I guess he was right because you slapped him. Do you know how weird is it for humans to do that nowadays? Apparently it used to be super common to beat up your wives and kids, but now people just do it to androids. But, it's better that way, right?â
âI don't know.â You really didn't.
Elio came back around with a steeping tea bag and a second mug half-full of something darker yellow, like urine. You took the handle to give it a whiff (it smelled homey and savory). Meanwhile, he took away the tablet and ended the video call without a word to Researcher Kim. The energy wasn't there for you to reprimand him nor to mess up your face in mostly feigned surprise.
âIt's chicken broth.â He was able to say freely despite Melby blathering on. âGive it a try and let me know if it's too strong. We need to start reintroducing foods back into your diet.â
You drank from the tea mug instead, swiveling the barstool so your back faced him.
âI've thought about it some, and I think we're terrified of each other. Humans don't know how to truly trust one another anymore. Thatâs why we rely on androids for, like, everything.â Melby continued, âI think, and this is just my opinion, that we actually really miss each other. I think we want to touch and hug and love each other. There are still some people who do. There's a market out there for human-human porn, so it's not like it's unbelievable, but we basically treat each other like we're extinct. It's weird.
âI've done it before, y'know? I've kissed a man. I've kissed a woman. I've fucked both before. You and Iâno, never mind. It doesn't count. I've thought about kissing you so many times. I wanted to do a lot more than just that, too.â
The corner seam of your thumbnail had started to bleed after you dug through old scabs and scar tissue built on top of it, your bodyâs valiant attempts to keep normalcy despite the mutilation that came back again and again. You watched brilliant carmine ooze from the wound, filling the crevices between your nail and skin, crawling upwards to your knuckle before Elio had stifled the area with a warm, damp rag.
Melby let out a long sigh. You envisioned she had just thrown aside a bunch of decorative cushions and flopped down in a chair, or had been pacing her bedroom and finally given up by throwing herself supine on the mattress.
âI'm going to miss you being there.â she declared. âI thinkâI think you're the closest I've ever come to truly loving someone. At least, I think that's what you'd call it.â
You held your thumb erect for Elio to wrap it in a neon-orange bandage with pink smiles. His lips pressed gently to the sore finger, making slow, wet work to the back of your hand and then the inside of your wrist to feel your pulse bounce against his mouth.
âI'm sorry.â you said at last, putting as much sentiment into those sparse words as you could. A part of you meant it genuinely as an apology for causing her trouble, for her unrealized dreams and lust, for the world you both suffered in and would never know anything else. âMelby, I have one last favor to ask of you.â
She hesitated, likely believing that doing more would get her expulsed from the circle. âJust one?â
âJust one.â You nodded at empty air. âI know either you or Niva have Mi-sunâs phone number. Can I have it?â
Again, Melby stalled, though this time you figured it was out of confusion. âThatâs what you want? She might be dead somewhere in the slums, you know?â
âNot if she's pregnant.â you countered. âNiva seemed pretty convinced that night that she was alive and well after being knocked up.â
Melby sucked on her teeth, a moist, popping sound into the speaker. âNiva says a lot of stupid shit because she likes to hijack conversations. Fine. Whatever. I'll text it to you, but you only have one minute because then I'm blocking you for good.â
To this, your heart actually stirred and squeezed, tightening so much it stole your breath from your lungs. Your entire chest felt like it shriveled into itself three sizes smaller as though to accommodate you fitting into a ball within yourself. Dread had opened a chasm wide in your stomach. Everything inside that gory cavity was swallowed up, leaving it vacant and hollow.
This was what it was like to mourn, you considered. It wasn't the same thing you felt the night you cried in the streets after fighting with Mother and losing Marcos. It wasn't the same as the last five days being wrapped in agony, lamenting the loss of a group you'd given years of your life to appeasing.
It was knowing that once Melby was gone, you were lost in the dark, and there was no way out of it. People with delinquent profiles didn't get redeemedâWendy Carmichael lied and had never lived a life in the slums, a truth Elio had been disappointed to learnâthey died in anonymity and poverty.
A notification came through just then, showing an eight-digit number presumed to belong to Mi-sun. You copied it quickly, although now your fingers felt numb and the person writing them down couldn't possibly have been youâ
âAlright. It's done,â Melby said calmly. âI have to go. Will you be okay? Do you think people actually die when they go to the slums? I don't wantââ
âGoodbye, Melby.â You ended the call and threw your phone on the countertop, far from your eyes so you wouldn't know the exact moment the world ended.
âAnd, fuck you.â
Elio had the sense to give you plenty of space after the ordeal and stayed busy downstairs cleaning the apartment while you tossed and turned in bed, legs knotted up in the sheets because nothing helped get you comfortable. At some point, through the thick of your adrenaline and despair, the buzz in your brain softened, and you were able to sleep until Elio joined you some hours later.
It was after midnight, and darkness pervaded everywhere. Above you, the snake pipes on the high ceiling writhed together in their intricate web just like every night, and you wondered why the wall of darkness hanging over you seemed closer than it usually did. Meanwhile, Elio faced you from his side of the bed and laid gentle strokes to the top of your head.
âIâve reached the conclusion that I am defective.â Elio said tonelessly, startling you into such wakefulness that you sat upright from the sheets. âYou've lost your friends because of me, and now your profile has fallen into delinquency. The inclination to ostracize what deviates from adapted, accepted social behaviors aligns with common survival tactics. This is an explanation that I understand, but it doesn't... sit right.â
Putting the blame on Elio to feel better would've been easy, and he would take it with grace and lay decadent caresses on your body as proof you were right. But he was too virtuous, and you secretly wanted to keep the credit of being the reason why Chima looked ugly and seethed into his cocktails.
âIt sort of hurts,â you admitted. âIt's a dull ache inside my bones. It makes me feel like everything inside my chest is shriveling up like a prune. Being abandonedâfeeling lonelyâis like always being cold. Thinking of it now, I don't know if there was ever a time I didn't feel cold around them. How shitty is it that I feel a little relieved?"
âIf that's the caseââ Elio rose up from his side of the bed, nudged apart your legs and settled between them. Most of his weight was still on his arms next to your head. In the waning moonlight, shadows deepened the lines around his mouth when he smiled. âI'm glad to have played some part in that release.â
Your fingertips walked lightly across his cheeks, along the planes of his face, as though marveling at him all over for the first time again. His skin always was most beautiful bathed in warm light, but the soft, silvery veil filtering in through the windows gave him ethereal grace.
The calm air upstairs shifted as your bodies stirred on the mattress, sheets strewn to the floor along with pieces of clothing that left you bare to the gray air while Elio gathered the skin of your hips in his hands and sucked on you.
It didn't matter if you closed your eyes or studied the movement on the ceiling while he devoured, lapped away the sticky stuff that glistened out of you like the silk of a spiderâs thread before it could stain the sheets, because it always ended with the same kaleidoscopic bursts of color, wanton cries, and him chasing after another orgasm and then another.
He'd ravish you until puffs of hot breath hurt, and the tip of his tongue delivering a single stroke was enough to make you flinch and whimper. Your legs felt fatigued and trembled violently throughout the continued ministrations until you needed to beg him to stop, dignifying the demand with a hard yank to the thick hair on his scalp.
âI'm not done just yet, give me a moment.â He told you the same thing tonight as he did every other time. The pain in his head subsided as he dove back between your legs and laid his tongue as a paddle against you, cleaning the cum for as long as it took for him to be satisfied.
He came up so you could have a taste of yourself in his kiss, tongues wrapped together while he fisted his cock stiff and lubricated himself with the fluid from the tip. You moaned against his mouth when two fingers pushed inside you and thrust with an effortless glide and instilled so much confidence in him that he slid in a third to the knuckle.
âMm, Elio, fuck me.â you managed between wet, sloppy kisses and splintered breaths. Three fingers were a tighter fit and wider than he was, but the way he angled them up into you was mind-numbing, could've made your tongue wag out of your mouth while panting like a pheromone-crazed animal.
Elioâs lips went from your face to your neck, down along the slope to your shoulder before he removed his fingers and slathered that narrow space in your legs with spend.
âOf course.â He obeyed dutifully but turned you on your side and seated one of your legs high on his arm. âLet's try something different tonight.â
The bulbous head of his cock glistened as it dragged across your groin, tapping those sore spots that made you twitch involuntarily with anticipation and staggered breaths. Elio concentrated on your face throughout it all, memorizing both those subtle and large changes that showed him what you liked the most.
You'd never believed that androids could be sexually adventurous in the same way that humans could, and perhaps that was the case despite the kinds of positions Elio put you in if you were willing. He would be conscientious of your mood beforehand and then adjust accordingly from there.
Some nights, it didn't go further than mouth-fucking you until you orgasmed to exhaustion. Other nights, when you were more pliable and especially affectionate, he'd rut his hips into your ass until you cried and the sheets were beyond saving.
Now, Elio observed you closely as the curve of his cock sank into you, sinew in his stomach clenching once he started thrusting.
At the start, your sounds were soft, and the rhythm made with his hips was one you had no trouble riding. You closed your eyes and focused on how that tilt in his cock pressed up against your walls and stroked all the right parts. His controlled pace unraveled after a while, thrusts turned mindless and greedy as the sting of slapping skin seemed to resonate all around.
You had bunched bits of pillow and bedspread in your fingers and drooled out onto the fabric because you couldn't close your mouth long enough between moans and gasps and lewd mutterings to stop it. You begged him to fuck you harder, deeper, and tear you open if thatâs what he wanted to do and would keep you in ecstacy.
Elio indulged your high as he was able, rolling you from your side to your stomach and mounted you again. He was able to touch you better this way, fondle the globes of your ass, the pouches of fat in your hips, stomach, and chest, all the while sucking dark bruises all along your spine and shoulders.
His mouth would sometimes linger next to your ears, wherein he imitated every bit of his human likeness and breathed on you. And then, he would poorly stifle moans that inspired you to think too deeply about the extent to which he could and could not feel.
âLook at me.â Elio felt your walls tighten around his cock and wanted to stare you in the face through your orgasm. He put you on your back, thighs hiked high on his sturdy chest, so those final thrusts plowed deep and stole your screams. You writhed under him, eyes rolled up, bloodshot and pupiless, muscles drawn so tight that it felt as good as it did awful.
A surge of warmth leaked out onto the sheets as Elio took his half-hard cock from your body and let it soften the rest of the way in cold air. His hand roamed you with delicate, healing touches meant to beg forgiveness for how much you'd ache later on, and his lips were tender and slow against yours.
You kissed him back distractedly, unable to think of anything else but the stickiness between your legs and how you'd chosen to never notice it until now.
âWhat's wrong?â he asked, still pressed up against your mouth. âAre you unsatisfied? My refractory period ends in a few minutes. I can do as much as you'd like until you feel fulfilled.â
âMm-mn,â you hummed, âthat's not it.â
He didn't stun when you snagged your phone from the bedside table and turned on the backlight. You pointed it down at cloudy white globs drying on your crotch, a sight that you thought was vaguely familiar to you somehow. It struck you then that it was like a scene from a pornography or vulgar sketches some kid in secondary school got suspended for drawing.
Still, it couldn't have been possible.
âWhat is that?â you asked with unacquainted timidity.
Elio grabbed a package of wipes left bedside and spaced your legs apart to clean the mess he had left on you. He took his time with long, intentional strokes to avoid your sensitive parts as best he could, soiling a good handful from the package before asking if you wanted a bath.
âAnswer me first,â you said.
He rose from the bed with one more kiss and collected your clothes from the floor. They were draped nicely over his arm, whereas he stood there before you nude, enveloped by the moonâs blue luster.
At first glance, his smile seemed the same adoring kind that he always held for you, and yet it evoked some undeterminable sadness to well up in your chest and cling there.
âItâs the result of a body never truly being your own.â
ââââââââââââââââââââââââ
Mi-sunâs house wasn't far from your apartment, as you recalled. It took a bit of investigative work online to track down her address (via Elio), mainly because it had been well over a year since you'd last needed to know it and the phone number Melby had given you was disconnected, but once you had the coordinates plugged into your phone, it was just one begrudging trek through sultry summertime air to reach her front door.
When you had finally made it to that point, however, eyes leveled down at a dirty, faded doormat that had seen plenty of seasons and wintery salt, you weren't sure how to proceed.
There wasn't any real reason why you were standing there now, yet you felt that you needed to be there anyway. Maybe it could be called seeking solidarity with someone who was enduring the same inevitable ending you were, or maybe the curiosity about her state of being was what won out dominantly. You couldn't be sure of your own motivationsâonly that you were there, and you needed her to know you were.
After three solid knocks with your knuckles, you let your hand fall and waited by scuffing the soles of your shoes on the coarse mat underfoot. It still had some springiness to it as you scrubbed. The front door was old and brown, having lost its elegant lacquer long ago. You remembered Mi-sun had mentioned a few times before that she had wanted to make the door cute with white paint and a frilly outdoor wreath but could never get around to it.
You guessed she never did.
âShould we knock again?â Elio asked across your shoulder, the bulk of his frame casting a cooling shadow over your body. He had gone out to Henrietta's by himself the other day when you told him what you intended to do and bought supplies to make a cake and special plastic Tupperware meant to keep it from moving around.
The only explanation he had given you about an hour ago, after locking the apartment door and stepping out onto the sidewalk, hot enough in the midday sun to melt the bottoms of your shoes to the pavement while you walked, was that Mi-sun was an old friend, and it was a safe gift even for a pregnant woman.
You never found the courage to divulge just how involved you had been in her expulsion from Chima's circle, even though you knew it'd be impossible for him to think less of you from it.
A minute passed, and then so did two more before you realized that no one was coming to the door. While listening for movementâa television, a hissing stovetop, shuffling slippers on top of creaking floorboards, anything at all aside from stiff silence, you understood that it was unlikely anyone had lived there in quite a while.
âI don't know where else she could be.â you said, now back at Elio's side, where he flicked away tiny splinters of old wood and shiny glaze that peeled off your damp skin like cut-up stickers. He moved the visor above your brow gently, adjusting the position of it to better shield your eyes, but seemed more to just want the proximity than anything else.
The longer he fiddled with thingsâyour hat, the flecks of things he missed on your ear, wrinkles in your t-shirtâthe more apparent it was to you that he was contemplating something else. You were trying hard not to do anything that would spur him into making the next suggestion you knew was coming.
âThere is one other place we haven't tried.â he said, switching from your shoulder to tucking pieces of hair securely behind your ear and dabbing sweat off your neck with a handful of napkins he had picked up at a convenience store while grabbing you water. âThe likelihood of Mi-sunâs profile falling into delinquency and being able to maintain residence within the city is less than twenty percent. Howeverââ
âI know.â You breathed out hot air and sucked it right back into your lungs. Maybe if you did that enough times it'd burn them, shrivel them up like prunes. âI know where she is. Let's wait until it cools down to go, though. I'll probably pass out if I have to see any of that right now.â
âToday on Loti Khanâs Food Tours of Retro City, she said that Asakawa on Fifteenth is a spot worth visiting during the summertime because of their cold noodle dishes. Hiyashi Chuka was what she suggested, I believe. I've already committed the menu to memory, and they have well over twenty different cold dishes and beverages. Their affordability isn't as stellar as Rainbow Bistro, but Loti saysââ
Wendy Carmichael was now a disgraced name in your household after Elio had spent a few hours one afternoon researching the womanâs true life story. She had been born into the elite class with a mother sitting at the top of the food chain in Retro Cityâs governing body, attended culinary arts schools across the world yet never reached the acclaim she coveted until she made up the whole spiel about clawing her way out of the slums.
Crawling back from the slums once you were in them just wasn't feasible. Only the worst of the worstâthieves, profile delinquents, murderers, lepers, and unwanteds were kept there, like trash crowded and barred in a landfill. If you found yourself in the slums somehow, no one would help you out of them because that would mean tarnishing their own reputations.
You were as good as dead.
You were dead.
Elio had carried around a brown paper bag housing the cake for most of the day, never once setting it down. His features never flinched when the straw handles sank into parallel dents in his skin, long stripes that looked like they'd be sore to you, but he never conveyed any discomfort. He merely floated along wherever you went, undeterred by your dour, soulless wandering, which lasted until the sun emblazoned the sky in dim fire and pinks.
Those hues were leached by the close, calming gradient of greens, blues, and darker blues that reached so quickly you could follow the sprawl of them until they had ensnared the daylight. The sun sank somewhere betwixt skyscrapers, and the air still felt thick as the mucus in your throat but bearable.
That same sky followed you on the cab ride across the city. You imagined the darkening air rushing alongside the vehicle with you as if containing it on rails, guiding you closer towards the slums. Once the skyscrapers were gone, far away in a suffocating yellow haze from the sleepless city, and the residential zone had thinned out of the rest of its straggling homes, the scenery had taken on a complete shift.
Everything was bizarrely flat, barren, and beige for as far as the eye could seeâvegetation was withered roots and barbed, inedible shrubbery that could've been pretty with some flowers or leaves. No trees could endure the fissured, parched earth nor the fine dust and sand skittering in the wind, leaving heavy layers where it lay once the breeze ebbed. Animals were long gone; the rumors of their bleached bones and skulls warped in a perpetual rictus of agony had been true because you saw many scattered throughout the landscape.
âPlease confirm this is your stop,â said the cabbie, a female android from an older generation, maybe three or four. She stuck her hand outside the driverâs window when you tried to give her a tip. With her fish-eyed stare and leathery smile, she repeated, âNo need. I have no use for money. Please confirm this is your stop.â
âThis is correct.â Elio spoke for you before taking your fingers through his and guiding you away from the idling vehicle. The android cabbie found his reply sufficient and drove away without questioning why you were out here in the flatlands. All she knew how to do was drive and obey traffic laws.
âDo you know where we're going?â you asked because you only knew to have told the cabbie to drive as far as the outer perimeter of the city. Beyond this, your phone had no service, and there were no clearly designated signs to point you in the right direction.
The people in the slums were meant to be forgotten, hideous secrets hidden away, broomed off to the outskirts of civilization where they'd have to fend for themselves in an environment that had been deader than them for ages.
âTruthfullyââElio stalled then and glanced around the endless expanse of wastelandââHyperion never included information about the slums in my programming. What I know is common knowledge and what I've accumulated in my time with you. I have never been able to locate specific coordinates to where the slums are hidden.â
You frowned. âShould we turn around before we get lost, then?â
Elio told you no and raised the hand clasped with yours, pushing one finger erect at a faint glow somewhere in the distance, no more than a tenâor fifteen-minute walk. You were almost convinced you could see the silhouettes of shoddy, leaning structures, but there was no way to be certain unless you got closer.
âLet's go.â
Chasing the remnants of the dusk to light your way across the starved, fractured terrain, those sparse shapes you had seen minutes before grew into multitudes. Soon, you were among clusters of disheveled, crude homes organized in long rows, some stacked with tiers like they were meant to replicate separate floors for more space.
Most of these houses didn't come with windows or doors to keep out strangers but thick decorative curtains that'd shun the beating sun, stave off the worst of winter frost, and deflect billows of sharp sand from dirtying their things indoors.
The paths between rows of homes were well-worn and brightly illuminated with anything they could useâlanterns, stuttering neon signage, solar panels, and even fire rings brutally hammered and dented into shape. Shadows from the fire lurched erratically against crooked metallic walls. Some homes with grimy windows caught a weak gleam off the flames.
It was almost fully dark, and people still moved with purpose as though they could compete with the suit-and-ties stomping their soles on the pavement in the city. Their hands were busy doing somethingâcarrying, brooming, cooking, flourishing during a great retelling, clapping, hiding smiles.
These savages, delinquents, fraudsters, thieves, murderers, and diseased swine never once regarded you or Elio with any modicum of intrigue. You had believed at some point you'd be shrinking under a crowd of wicked stares, pulled down into some inescapable abyss by necrotic or leprous hands trying to steal the clothes from your body or use your skin to tarp piles of scrap.
Only one man had stopped along the path, dressed in dusty clothes that were otherwise decently kept; he was thin but not malnourished and hollow in the face. He told you that the aimless way you and Elio had been walking gave away that you were new to the slums because there was always something needing done and not enough hours in a day to do them.
âMi-sun?â The man was thinking aloud, stirring up dust as he shuffled his feet around. You had given him the name and a description, which you hoped had been specific enough to avoid approaching people at random. âYeah. That pregnant girl⌠she was here for a while. She's long gone now.â
âLong black hair, blunt bangs. Black eyes. Really translucent skin? Super skinny?â As unhelpful as your details were, it was all you had to give him to keep the mental acrobatics going. There was always a slim chance he could be misremembering her. âAre you sure she's no longer here in the slums? Where'd she go? What happened to her?â
Eventually, the thin man led Elio and you to a tiny houseâmore of a shackâmeant to accommodate a sole body and some odds and ends. He held a heavy curtain back for the pair of you to enter, encouraging you to settle down on a sandy rug, which looked to have at one time been bright red.
âI don't have much to give, but here's a little water. To have made it here, you would've had to walk. We all had to.â he said, pulling out his finest cuppery and pouring from the spout of a broken electric kettle. âThat girl was a profile delinquent, to my understanding. Almost all of us here are. I used to own a printing business on the north side about fifteen years ago. I upset the wrong people and here I am. What's your story?â
You spun the cup with your fingers, trying not to put your eyes down to scrutinize any particles floating around inside. Elio wasn't given a cup because the man had immediately deduced that he was an android.
âIâŚâ You still didn't drink, but the back of your throat felt scratchy and your tongue like some dry slab of meat shoved into your mouth. âI pissed off the wrong people.â
âAh.â The man gave an anguished smile, showing he understood you very well. There was a low table between you, repurposed from something else and sanded down to a smooth finish. âFor a while, I helped look after Mi-sun. Like you, I had been the first person to greet her when she arrived. She didn't act like everyone else; she was dazed, but she was angry.
âI fed her, gave her water, and gave her a sleeping bag. We have to make due with less than bare minimum most days, but we make it work. We all look out for each other. The community really pitched in when we realized she was pregnant.â
Elio kept a watchful eye on your hands, the fingers aching to peel back ribbons of flesh.
âThat shouldn't have been possible.â you said. âMi-sun had an android. She was never involved with any menânot that I could ever recall. She just doesn't give me the impression of someone who'd change her ways like that.â
The man sipped his sandy water, wiping off clear pebbles that had clung to his facial hair. âWhen you find yourself exiled here, you learn fast that things are never what they seem. You didn't ask a question, but you gave yourself an answer.â
âWhat?â It was more noise than a word.
âDaichi, I believe, was her android. Shortly before she showed up, she said that Hyperion had come to forcibly reclaim it. That must've been a difficult reality for her to faceâknowing everything was being taken away from her, forced into a pregnancy, and having to fend for herself afterwards.â
This time, you lifted a hand to stop him from falling down another tangent. He obeyed, voice whittled to silence that was immediately unsettled by loud water slurping.
It wasn't that you weren't following what he was saying. You were many things: a fool, a sheep, a coward, a liar, maybe even a true scoundrel at heart, but stupid wasn't among that inexhaustible list. You just needed a moment to collect the nuggets he had thrown down for you to pick up.
Guilt peaked the ranks of everything else you felt right then. A word you'd never use to describe yourself was malicious, but in the end, it had been the malice of someone else and your inability to see apart from the rest that condemned Mi-sun to this suffering.
You played as much a part in taking away Mi-sun's life as Chima had in actually enforcing it. Unlike Chima, never one to balk or cower regardless of how truly cruel his decisions were and committed to them like gospel, you simply sat in his afterimage and did whatever he said. Half of the time, you were blitzed out of your mind; the other you spent wishing you had never known them at all.
It had been so easy to vote Mi-sun out of the group. Completely painless. You just didn't look at her when you raised your hand to pass judgment. Melby had expressed her delight by squeezing your thigh, whereas Mi-sun held her composure and shoulders straight back, but her face contorted with every indication of betrayal and agony.
You thought about how many animal crackers you had that night.
âWhat happened to her?â Both your hands had been restrained by Elioâs at that point. Large, comforting, and warm in contrast to all the ice that seemed to thicken your blood, stiffen your heart, and freeze your bones. âWhere is she now?â
The man must've been suspecting something because his face looked long to you now, weighed down by this life and your feeble state.
âIâI can't be absolutely positive, but I do believe she is dead.â he told you grievously, beady brown eyes not unseeing to the way Elio groped your fingers to keep them still. âShe didn't want to be pregnant. It was something she talked about for weeks before leaving. She knew what Hyperion and the government were doing and said she didn't want to be a part of it. On the last night before she left, I had to wrestle a knife out of her hands because she was trying to cut open her stomach to kill the baby.â
You couldn't swallow past the sharp granules of sand and dryness in your throat anymore. You had to slug back the cup of grainy water until the feeling subsided, shove the worst of the dread and shame and guilt into your bowels.
âAfter that, she was gone.â He took a drink as well, exchanging looks from you to Elio. âA couple of us tried tying her up to get her to calm down and do something about the cut on her stomach, but she got the knife, stabbed one of the younger guys and got away. We haven't seen her since, but a search party did come back to say they saw blood leading back to the city.â
âOh my godâŚâ you groaned, forcing Elio to recoil when you slapped his hands awayâintentional and hard. You stuck yours in your hair, yanking at the roots until your scalp screamed and burned. âIs there any chance she could've survived? Any at all?â
The rail-thin man swirled what little remained of his water in the cup, studying the pale sediment floating within. âIt's too hard to say. It's unlikely, my friend. The police wouldn't have gunned her down if they saw she was pregnant, but they would've seen the cut. And that counts as attempted murder. If she's still alive, it's only to give birth, after thatâŚâ
âExecution,â you finished.
He nodded and said nothing else, eyes downcast as though lost in the grain of the wood table.
After that, you left the man in his sad little shack to explore the slums more. Elio came along shortly after, saying he had presented the man with the cake as a reward for his hospitality and apologized if it no longer looked appetizing.
The man thanked him before returning to his grief for many things, perhaps.
âI don't want to be here anymore, Elio.â you said, failing to avoid hearing a gaggle of giggling women gossiping together. They were dressed clumsily and in trends almost a decade old, but they had glowy eyes and cavernous lines worn into their faces from laughter and joy where they could find it.
Old men played some made-up board game together, gathering at least half a dozen spectators to see who'd win. Their brows were heavy with contemplation and stress of worthy competition. The other bodies tried making bets with pieces of scrap and metal coils and nearly blown bulbs for lighting.
Music came from all around, lyrical in the same way it was discordant because they weren't playing the same songs nor singing the same things. Their voices were robust and resilient, unwilling to be trudged over by sand nor heat nor oppressors who were incapable of understanding the human spirit was pliant and could bend with the wind, stand with the seasons, and could fracture yet never break.
You couldn't make sense of what any of them were singing, the noise too unharmonious, but you could feel the power in their songs pulse through you, ricocheting in your mind for long after you'd escaped proximity to them.
There were no lepers. There were the sick and unfortunate, but they were not diseased. They did not believe that their tilted houses were tombs, that their unquaint lives were an endless spiral of torment, or that the food they could find and produce was unworthy of reverence.
The people of the slums lived a hard, thankless life, but they had each other. They banded together to weld sheets of metal into four walls and a roof for the new faces who came to them. Your woes would become their woes, and they would feed you, cloth you, wash you, bandage your wounds, and call you their most beloved.
Together, they ate their meals from what they could scavenge out there. They retold the same grandiose tales of heroes and valor and androids that Marcos had told you at bedtime as a child. Their cultures were all cherished and expressed in the food they shared and clothes they managed to sew together by hand and slow machines.
You could ask your neighbor for a tablespoon of sugar and four would come to you with curiosity and offer their arthritic hands and knobby backs for whatever was needed.
Here, you could see humanity clearly for the first time in your life and felt burdened knowing it. Your heart weighed like an anvil behind your ribs. It hurt and lurched behind its enclosure because it too wanted to get away from what it now knew.
âA lie.â you choked, forcefully shoving Elio's hands away from you once again when he tried to embrace you. âIt was all a lie. Everything was a lie! Where are they?! Where are all the lepers and people leaking pus from their face?! Where are the murderers? Where are the savages? Where are all these awful fucking people I was told were here? Where are they?â
Elio's expression took on something completely unforeseenâpity. Their lives were fine and routine while yours crumbled around you. The terror you had been force-fed your whole life was all false. There was civilization beyond a profile with red overlay, more waiting on the other side that the sleepless city wanted to conceal.
âThere are no androids here.â Elio mentioned, deeming that adequate enough time had passed for you to regain your bearings. He took you in his arms and kissed the crown of your head, burying his lips deep in your hair. âWe were never meant to become substitutes for your love. We were never meant to go this far and act as replacements for humanity because we simply cannot feel what another human does. That is something Hyperion will never be able to achieve. Humanity needs humanity, not machines.â
You sank into his warmth, arms wound his back, and said from his chest, âBut, I love you. Don't leave me. I don't want Hyperion to take you away.â
Elio, your beautiful sun, leaned down into your face and kissed the highest parts of your cheeks and the wetness around your eyes before settling on your lips. Slow and lingering, you chose to believe it meant he was sealing away your plea and that he'd always be there to swathe you in his arms.
âLet's stay for a little longer,â he said once apart from the kiss. âIâd like to see the side of humanity that no one else does.â
ââââââââââââââââââââââââ
Less than a week had passed since your hard slog through the slums and back to Retro City. Although you had only been gone from your inner-city apartment for mere hours, possibly five or six at most, upon walking back inside after Elio and wincing against the fluorescent bulbs overhead, you thought you were looking at something entirely foreign.
The simple pleasures that you had become accustomed to throughout your life: plumbing, central air that turned the hot sweat on the back of your neck into cold droplets slithering beneath your clothes, the worn out mattress upstairs, technology, an android who'd done almost everything for you for the better part of a yearâit all seemed so novel, so excessive. A treat for a rat in a box before testing to see how it'd respond when it was all taken from its enclosure.
So, when Elio woke you up one morning, early enough that the light streaming in through your windows already felt warm on the bed sheets, and the thin air looked itself to have a golden hue, you couldn't say you felt any rouse of surprise or fear when he handed over a red letterâan eviction correspondence.
Sooner or later, you knew you'd meet with one, though the progress of everything hadn't been as immediate as you had been led to believe it would be. A month had come by and stayed for several slow breakfasts, lunches, dinners, mindless strolls, and countless passionate entanglements before deciding to leave on an indignant note. With the red notice, you were expected to vacate the premises within days, whether you had intentions for your belongings or not.
Things stayed tumultuous from there on out, yet you couldn't find it within yourself to react to any of it, even in the instance when Researcher Kim rang you for an impromptu meeting that you anticipated meant no good.
âEffective immediately, Elio will be seized and returned to Hyperion in relation to the recent change in public profile status.â It was too formal and rigid a tone even for him. Clearly, his superiors had demanded this because you doubted the profile change was much a concern to him on a personal level. âYour contract is hereby null and void, and your association with Hyperion is obsolete. Any attempt to thwart repossession of Hyperion property will be penalized legally.â
Throughout it all, Elio swept the floor with leisurely strokes as though the reach of Researcher Kimâs voice ended at your ears alone. He moved onto laundry, taking great care to iron out the wrinkles in your favorite shirts and make the folds in the arm seams crisp and symmetrical.
âIs that really all you wanted to say?â you asked, palm capped overtop a mug of tea Elio had set down for you a while ago. The steam now rose weakly and moistened your skin, a particularly gross feeling, but it kept you alert. âI thought that Elio was your project, and you called the shots on him.â
Researcher Kim was out of sorts and worn. His posture was crumbled, and his clothes were in complete disarray like he hadn't bothered to change out of them in days. His under eyes were translucent, pulling out all the purples and blue veins under his skin. The man looked like he had hardly slept in weeks.
âYou don't understand what you've done, have you? Not only may you end up costing me my position, but you've ruined my entire lifetime of work!â Kim leaned in close to the screen, sounding more and less himself now.
You were wary of the glint in his eyes. âWhat do you mean? Elio's justââ
âNo!â he shouted and slumped back into his ergonomic chair. His head slanted over, almost coming in contact with the peak of his shoulder like it was too heavy for his neck to hold. âYou don't get it. You don't get it! Because your profile turned, this entire yearâeverything youâve reported, everything I've accomplished, Elio's entire testing period is invalid. Hyperion executives consider him defective. The Generation Seven android has failed! Look at what you've done!â
A sudden wild flapping of thousands of butterflies lifted your stomach up and then plunged it down into a void. Kim had successfully chiseled away the inexpressive mask you had worn up until that point, seeming satisfied that he could stipple your face in a cold sweat.
âWait, no. That can't be right.â you protested, wrestling your own hands to keep them off of the tablet in front of you. âMy profile turned, but the work I've done has been honest. Elio is a success! You know that! You've seen every step of his progress for almost a year.â
Researcher Kim threw his hands up wildly, truly not himself with all of these gestures. âNone of that matters. None of it. My life's work is a failure. I thought we had an agreement to help one another, but I was mistaken.â
âYou don't understand!â you said, pounding the countertop with sharp claps of your hands. âIt wasn't on purpose. I wasn't trying toâŚâ
âHyperion will have Elio destroyed, and progress will be hindered. Do you know how long, how many decades this could set us back? This could be devastating to humanity, but I don't think you're capable of understanding that. Just like the rest, you're not able to see the big picture at large, the mechanisms at work keeping our society moving forward. You can only see the straight line ahead of you and wearing blinders so you don't have to know the rest.
âWe've kept this world running for sixty years. You need to understand how utterly fucking frustrating it is that one person has the potential to undo decades of work!â
Researcher Kimâs words weren't unjustified to you because he was a scientist, and you had always been a nobody in the grand scheme of things. But, right now, the venom he spat sounded vindictive, a man sucking on wounds you had inflicted rather than the opinion of the whole of Hyperion.
If you hadn't been staring directly at him this entire time, you wouldâve thought he was frothing and drooling at the mouth like some animal.
A stilted quiet filled the gaps in conversation, both of you uncertain of what would be said next. If he was reacting in any professional capacity, the call would've been disconnected by now. That was the main giveaway that let you know this wasn't just about what Hyperion wanted.
But the truth of it was that you didn't care what Hyperion wanted or him.
At the end of your life as you knew it, before being thrown away into the landfill with every other unwanted human, you were piecing together the whole history of the world and how it had gotten to this point. It had become this way through relentless men like Researcher Kim who mostly operated on their own moral compass, ones that could never quite point north and spun on that wheel as they saw fit.
âEnough of the powerplay, Kim.â you ordered, chest opening toward the ceiling with a deep, bracing breath. âWhat is the real purpose of Hyperion? Why does it actually exist?â
Kim, perhaps re-evaluating you as less of a pawn in this scheme and more of an infant intellectual about to breach the narrow canal into enlightenment, stacked his spine high and pressed his fingertips together. He studied you with some caution, head shifting from left to right, just slightly off-center from his hands as though judging whether you were worth divulging precious intel to.
But, like you, you expected he realized it didn't matter what he'd tell you, however coveted it might've been by Hyperion.
Kim, ultimately, worked for himself and for Hyperion only when he felt it served him well.
âWhen I hired you, I didnât do it because I thought you were stupid.â It seemed he felt the need to clarify this for you, unsmiling but with an eager lilt in his tone. âI hired you because of your potential. I took a chance on you, and while it had, indeed, ended in my peril, you've surprised me so many times throughout the year that I started keeping a record of you as well.
âHuman beings do one of two things in the consistent presence of androids, they either regress or they progress. Most of your peers will regress because thatâs how society has been modeled to be. The difficult tasks, the mundane, all the things that ask of us to consider the complexity of the world around us and think critically have been left to androids. How well do you think a machine can understand the theory of life after death and the mysticism of religion? The concept of soulmates? Cultural superstitions and children's nighttime fears? It's about as you expect. They can give you an answer without truly understanding. Androids, I dare say, only have an extremely limited understanding of moral culpability. Humans are much more flexible with it these days because it suits them best.
âSo.â Kim sighed, hands resting on the dark red desk he sat behind. âYou can imagine how interesting it was when we started noticing a trend with auditorsâchanges in them. A renaissance, an evocation of deep wondering and wariness towards the workings of the world around them. We can only guess the reason that this happens is because part of humanity still doubts the intentions of androids, and that's been bred onward through the generations. You ask an android a question, they give an answer, you doubt that answer, and then you start to doubt everything around you. It's all hypothetical, but it makes sense.
âIt doesn't happen with the majority of the population, though. And it isn't encouraged. Enlightenment threatens the status quo, and those who disturb the status quo are a disservice to the governing bodies and Hyperion. Do you understand?â
Your gaze turned cold. âAre the other auditors there in the slums, too? Once they've been used up and started to catch wind of this messed up shit?â
Researcher Kim flicked his fingers toward the top of the screen, doing that instead of shrugging. âWho knows? What happens to them once a testing period has concluded is none of my business. Presumably so, that's what I would hope for them because that's the kindest outcome.â
âWas IâŚâ You licked your lips and felt the shallow cracks in them. âI was going to end up in the slums no matter what happened, wasn't I?â
He frowned. âNo. If things had gone differently, I was going to vouch for you. I wanted to keep you as my assistant.â He was quiet for a beat, looking straight at you in that discomforting way that you couldn't shake. âIâve grown fond of you, you know? How could I not with everything I've learned about you over the course of a year. I can't forgive you for what you've done to the Hyperion Project, to my life's work, but I can't just let you disappear like the rest.â
Something ugly started to grip in the back of your throat. Fear? Disgust? An inkling?
âWhat do you mean?â you ventured.
âI've read through each report you've sent me in the past year so many times. It was mostly out of necessity for Hyperion, of course, but the ones that I found myself⌠fixated on rereading time and time again were of yours and Elio's sexual endeavors. I wasn't lying when I said they were a contract-based requirement, mind you, but I will admit that some of the questions were altered somewhat.â he said, suddenly smiling in a self-satisfied sort of manner that made your skin itch. âI realized I never answered your question fully, by the way. I can get ahead of myself sometimes, as you know. But, do I really need to explain what Hyperion's purpose is?â
You were on the edge of your seat, ready to take flight off it at any second. It's just how the entire change of trajectory made you feel. Humanity had spent too much time in the past arguing animal-like, instinctual reactions for this not to be real.
In that moment, you were living proof of a prey noticing a predator in broad daylight.
 âFine.â He kept smiling around the taut creases in his skin. The muscles there twitched as if the effort were unfamiliar. âHyperion is a repopulation aid. It's quite sad, really. It started out with such great potential to drive society forward, but humanity and greed have always gone hand-in-hand. So, it became a race of mass production into a race that the governing bodies now had their hands in. The order was to rectify the critical birth decline worldwide. Androids became less like tools, looked less like machines, and more like humansâlike lovers who couldn't say no to any demand.
âAndroids are vessels for insemination. What else do you want me to tell you?â
Researcher Kim's explanation had weakened you, made your legs shaky and light like a scarecrowâs stuffed with straw. You couldn't rely on them to carry your weight away from this awful conversation, the hideous sight of him, because there'd be nowhere for you to run to while the information perforated your brain and crawled inside and feasted there.
âElioâŚâ You didn't even know what you wanted to say. Everything got stuck behind the notch in your throat. None of it would assuage that wretched ache in your gut, the precursor of vomit and disgust and unhinged terror.
âOf course.â Kim said, without needing to tell you what he was confirming. He was perfectly composed still, perhaps even shining with pride like some well-hidden, nuanced detail had finally been figured out.
He leaned toward the screen, smile turning salacious and voice low and grating.
âMy only regret is that I couldn't be there to do it myself.â He brightened at the way your face wrenched and fastened in fear, seeming to think it was a reward after conducting an experiment on another project. âBut, there's still time, isn't there? I must retrieve Elio myself to shut him down. If you listen to what I ask, perhaps I can get you pardoned and your profile reinstated.â
âNo. Thatâs not what I want.â you said.
âIt doesn't matter what you want,â he rebuffed, speaking with such confidence that you almost believed it. âThe moment your profile fell into delinquency, you ceased to be. You've fallen through the cracks, and no one is going to help you. You're less than an android.â
The fine hairs all over your body bristled. âDon't compare me to a machine! You don't get to decide things for me!â
âI can save you, you damn fool!â Kim gaped incredulously. âI can restore your life and give you more than you've ever had. I can give you influential associations. I'll take care of you. I'll keep you as my assistant, and you get to live a life among the elite.â
He was lying.
No one ever made it out of the slums once they were in it. That wasn't an assumption, it was a simple grim reality.
In this world, only humans could lie because androids were incapable of betraying their programming to do so. Otherwise, Elio probably would've lied about many things or had never said certain things at all to spare you discomfort.
Humans, on the other hand, could lie to maliciously deceive and serve themselves a better hand. They could lie their way into a false mirror image, something that looks like them but never really existed and could never truly be. They could lie their way into trust to fulfill their own desires, and once that had been sufficiently quenched, they could go on lying elsewhere.
âI'll be there for you soon.â Researcher Kim tried his best at a soothing smile, treating it as though the sight of it would persuade your trust of him. âPlease have Elio on standby. I would like for this not to be more difficult than it needs to be.â
Just then, the air flickered lightly by your ear as Elio reached past your shoulder and picked up the tablet. His expression was inscrutable, the same sort you'd grown used to seeing whenever Researcher Kim appeared on the screen.
âI won't be returning to Hyperion.â he said with solemn, firm words that held a certain weight of finality behind them.
Those lovely, velvety tones were still there but could not reassure you of some unknowable dread rising up somewhere deep inside your mind. A sensation so equally intimate and profound prickled against your scalp, seeking a way out that you thought you'd do anything to make it stop.
âWhat are you saying, Elio?â Kim grunted. âDefective or not, you hold precious data for Hyperion. It will be used to create something better than you, incorruptible and pure. You should be honored.â
âThese memories are mine.â
That was the last you saw of Researcher Kimâs face before the tablet smashed to pieces on the floor. Elio had thrown it against the kitchen cabinets only once but hard enough to split the screen into a web of hundreds of sprawling fragments. Shards of plastic hardcover skittered across the hardwood floor, lost under heavy furniture.
His face had softened completely when he turned to you and guided you out of your chair into his arms. You felt him in your hair, lips on your forehead, down against your lashes, lower to the roundest part of your cheeks, and finally on your mouth in a kiss imbued with so much love, cherishment, and anguish.
You were at home within his embrace, swathed in the warmth of his body and the ardor of his kiss. But this felt excruciating and desperate, like a plea to take all of him that you could in that very moment because he feared that he would be taken away and you left behind to whatever nebulous future.
So, you let him seat himself as deep inside of you as he could go while still fully clothed. He had pushed around some fabric so you could be skin-to-skin where it mattered, where it was hottest to be, where the muscles contracted and relaxed together as a reminder you were both there in that momentâbreathing, moaning, feeling everything there was to be felt.
He finished outside your body without you needing to say it. Although, while he groaned into your neck and bore his teeth into the curve of it, hips buckling forward as spend jetted down your thigh, all you could think about was how many times Kim had been there instead.
âI want you to destroy me.â Elio said.
All of the breath left your lungs and shrunk them to rotted fruit size. You were still vulnerable before him, exposed to the room and damp with sweat from the midday heat despite air conditioning. Worriment filled the space between his brows when he saw you aghast, and he quickly cleaned you off with a rag before helping you with your pants.
âIs this a shitty attempt at a joke?â you asked. He pressed his lips to yours and told you it wasn't. âNo. Absolutely not. You're as fucking nuts as your creator. You're fucking stupid.â
âYou mustââ
âI won't! I won't do it!â
âI'm asking you to save me.â
âGet away!â
Elio had tracked you across the apartment multiple times over, pleading his case with skewed logic you pretended not to hear. For once, your ears filling with fluff while the resounding drum of your heartbeat pounded in your skull was a fortunate event to occur. It eclipsed his voice and hurt so much that you could focus on the pain crushing your chest.
However, once you were trapped between the wall and his body with nowhere to hide, the brief reprieve behind your fitful heart faded, as did the strength of your resolve.
âIâI don't understand.â You had trouble swallowing down the saliva and sobs. âWhy are you asking me to do that? I can't do that to you, Elio. I can't hurt you. I love you.â
âI know.â He didn't hold you, though he had to win against his own reflexes not to do so. His knuckles were ghastly-looking and pronounced peaks; anything within that vise would've been crushed. âToday, one way or another, I will be destroyed. Hyperion deemed me a failure and therefore there is nothing else left ahead for me. My chip will be removed and my body ripped apart and melted down and I will be forgotten and never have existed in the first place.
âYou will be the proof that I was ever here. And, should anyone be allowed to destroy me, it makes the most sense for it to be you.â
His lips left imprints in your skin that felt important to savor, etched through your bones into the very cluster of cells that made up your wholeness so that he could be immortalized.
âThereâs an excerpt from Hiroshi Nagoyaâs novel Gone Are the Youth that left a strong impression on me. It said, âHumans destroy everything they loveâbut, still, they must love wholly, and they must destroy completely. From ruin and ash and settled dust, humanity rebuilds all it has ever destroyed because their love lingers in memories, in rubble, blood, decay, and burnt air.ââ He recited the details to remind you that he was a machine but kissed your face in a way only an earnest lover was able to.
You didn't know what any of that was supposed to mean to you, nor at what point he had managed to read a book like that without you noticing. A part of you took offense at both the passage and the fact Elio had committed it to memory as if he had expected to utilize it at some uncertain interval in the future all along.
Had he been thinking this way since the beginning? Had you failed Elio even in the capacity for him to come forward to speak of his doubts to you? Perhaps, like his programming dictated that he couldn't lie nor deny what he was designed to do, he was also incapable of speaking any full truth if it could've been construed as heresy.
Was there a single aspect of himself which he could control of his own free will?
Such a thought was unabating and grew a knob of dread in your chest. It started out small and localized, a sharp throb somewhere near your heartâand then it sprouted roots like a seed, long fingers piercing through red-purple muscle and fibrous tendon, reaching deep into your bone. The dread weaved as one with your veins and arteries, sprawling the innumerable pathways that held your shape even beneath the gory components inside of you.
Suddenly, the dread pulsated, and all you could think through the agony was that there could be no other way for Elioâa machine who had been created in the image of man to do the bidding of humanity with a tranquil smile, whether that meant cooking dinner and holding you in your sleep, or dispersing the genes of his God and the only being he was capable of despising.
âI seem to only be able to make you cry, but they're still so beautiful to see. The variability of humanity is much more complex than what I had been led to believe from Hyperion.â Elio had returned from the kitchen before you realized he had left your side. With one hand, he laid familiar, warm strokes along your face in a pattern he memorized because it made your scalp buzz pleasantly. With the other hand, he pushed the smooth handle of a chefâs knife into your palm and closed your fingers and his around it.
Your impulse had been to throw it away immediately upon seeing it when you looked down. He knew you would, so he kept his fingers tight over your fist, keeping the blade low at your side despite the sweat turning your grip slick and the fine point of the steel inches from his hollow abdomen.
Just then, you finally felt the tears that Elio had said you'd been crying but never noticed. That was something you'd come to hate about yourself and everyone elseâhow little they noticed the blatant lies fluffed over their eyes like wool, yet they could see every grievance in others and stuffed their ears with cotton if it meant things would stay exactly the same for themselves.
Safe and known. Unchallenged. Unafraid.
âDo you wish you could cry?â you asked him for some reason, just a little hopeful for some vague thing you couldnât discern. Maybe some secret desire to be human?
He shook his head.
âI've never wished to cry, or to be human, but what I wish for now more than anything else is for your memory to belong to me and me alone.â Elio said, forehead bowing low and resting with great weight on your own. You closed your eyes and listened to his honeyed words, which felt like the protection and care of cashmere, suddenly unmindful to the knife in your grasp. âStored away in my mainframe are memories from thousands of my predecessors. I remember people I've never met, people who have long since expired, and they feel like what I imagine a distant relative might. I feel as though I've mourned thousands of people individually. While I cannot erase them, I can erase you.
âI know how many women liked their tea in the evenings, I know how many men enjoyed their cocktails and hard liquor and brand of shaving cream. One person made it a secret to put alcohol in their coffee before work and thought it was clever. Someone else wanted to win local office through bribery, and as androids, we have no choice but to obey. I know these things from people I've never met, and so does Hyperion. Those androids were destroyed, but their memories live on through me.â
 Elio rolled the crests of your knuckles around his hand, lifting yours and the knife to the base of his neck. The arm connecting the hand and knife next to his skin wasn't yours. It couldn't have been when it felt so numb.
âI won't let Hyperion steal the one thing from me that I can say is truly mine. And those are my memories, my precious data stored in the chip in my brain. They'll have to take me apart to retrieve it, and by the time they find my body, the chip will already be destroyed.â He was slow to loosen his fingers and let them fall away, meanwhile, yours stayed in place.
He had dimmed the overhead lights in the living room earlier in the day, so you bathed in gentle yellow-orange that resembled the last of sunset being leached by silver-blue nightfall. From the corner of your eye came a subdued, gentle glint of the bladeâpolished to a bright shine, reflecting the corner of Elio's strong jaw.
âSo, cut off my head.â he begged, vibrations low and strained within his voice box. âItâs almost like solace to me, I think. Until the very moment you rip out the chip from my brain, I'll recall the smells you like to cover yourself in, your favorite meals, how you described petrichor, and the hiss of falling snow. I'll remember, until my circuitry is severed and quits, what making love to you felt like, and how beautiful you always looked during it.â
Your fingers twitched around the handle as you pressed the knife against his skin, meeting the first start of resistance and your only chance to take it all back.
âIâve never been real,â Elio reminded you and pushed himself into the blade, sinking it through layers of something that snapped like elastic on the steel, reverberating down the handle and up into your hand. âMy skin is synthetic, and my insides are wires and machinery. I'm not real. The world outside your door is.â
Lightheadedness swirled all around you and made your limbs feel like they were leaden with anchors yet weightless, as though drifting through the cosmos in a bubble. The tears had stopped even though you felt you could scream at any second and never stop again, and the acidulous intermix of vomit and saliva grappled along the walls of your throat and burned out your nose.
You couldnât make your hand stop.
You couldn't shout at him to get away.
And then, you saw Elio's eyes glow warmly of amber with flecks of gold. They looked back at you differently than they had when you first met outside of Researcher Kimâs office. Before, he had greeted you kindly, with the familiarity of someone who had already loved you a long time. Now, he had the look of a man who was calm and eternal in his love.
âI was never meant for this world, but I'm glad to have been a part of yours.â Elio winced against the knife halfway into his neck, an oily black substance from within making the glide deeper and deeper an effortless thing.
He smiled resplendently. âI love you.â
âI know.â you said.
The chef's knife severed all imitations of human goreâthe neat network of wires and advanced circuitry masked as arteries and veins and tendon and muscleâclear through his throat until the blade blunted against spine and could no longer cut. The black grease spurted from his body like a wellhead, too thin and dark to replicate blood, but it was enough like it in that moment as you put your hands inside the opening you created to wrench apart his spine.
Elio laid motionless on the floor, perhaps still coherent to some degree, still feeling the pain you were ravaging upon him when you took the knife back up to repeatedly hack into the other side of his neck. Already lubricated from before, you butchered the gorgeous flesh and insides you pretended to be red and purple and blue and watched the black grease turn into crimson.
Once his head had been detached from the rest of him, fingers writhing and bending together like the upturned legs of a dying spider, you were able to rip out the jagged part of his spine and reach through the cavernous hole into his skull, turning the spongy matter of his brain to mush as you clawed through the gunk for his chip.
And, when you finally found it, the tiniest component of himâyou smashed it into millions of fragments on the floor and then to fine dust that meddled with the black grease soaking through your clothes. You kept going until a small crater formed where the chip had once been and filled with the liquid.
There was nothing left of Elio now.
The headless body lying before you on the ground, preserved in the rigor of agony, was not Elio and never had been. You knew this even while relishing the weight of his head cradled in your arms, the softness of his hair against your cheek and mourned the loss of everything he had been.
Time had become meaningless; fifteen minutes could have passed or fifteen days, and you wouldn't have cared nor have noticed it while in the throes of your own death from starvation.
You sat there on the living room floor, held up by the wall with a dark trail smeared down to you, and looked nowhere but straight ahead. Nothing was there for you to seeânot the furniture nor the discarded, oily knife or the carcass of a machine. Still, you held the head tenderly, close to your chest, and never once thought to peer into its eyes.
Distantly, somewhere as close as your front door or as far as across the city, you heard knuckles hammering urgently against metal. You didn't move off the ground or let go of the disfigured shape against you but did reach for the broken brainstem with the single snag at the end.
From the entranceway, the door opened, and someone's confident strides inside left a resounding echo all around.
âIâve come to retrieve you!â But which of you was he talking about?
âWhere are you?â
Here, you thought and wielded the brainstem in a bloodless grip and finally stood up with the flattened head.
I'm right here.
ââââââââââââââââââââââââ
a/n: initially, this story was only supposed to be around idk 20-25k, but by the time I got to the scene with Mother, I realized that probably wasn't going to happen bc I needed to let the scenes I was writing take up space and unravel naturally. I felt like I wasn't going to be able to articulate everything I needed to to tell a compelling storyline without throwing the word count to the wind.
one critique I received from a good writing friend of mine was that the relationship between mi-sun and mc was nebulous, and would've benefited from more time. interestingly, I had an entirely different scene planned where mc actually did visit mi-sun at home and had to confront their past actions. mc's encounter in the slums was also totally different. in hindsight, I wish I had stuck with that original idea bc I feel like it would've really helped complete the world I tried to create. make the events of the story more meaningful.
in the future, if I decide to get this story published as a short novel, I'd probably rewrite the second half to accommodate for that missing scene. I think it'd extend the word count by several thousands of words as well.
I'd like to do a sequel to this, probably placed 10-20 years in the future where the mc of that story is a scientist hired for hyperion and comes across an android hellbent on destroying the company. maybe even a spinoff where I write a couple of short stories from regis & reyes where "you" take the role of reyes and solve crimes with your android sidekick, regis.
that's all I have to say. here's a quick q&a for questions I've been asked in the past:
what happens to mc? are they okay? no, but exactly what happens to the mc is entirely up to your own imagination. I will not elaborate on it, nor give you a "canonical" answer.
can you do a sequel? little side snippets? elio and mc's story has been told to the best of my current abilities. there is no room for a sequel for them, but as I've said, I'd like to make another story based on a different mc and android. the little snippets are also a no. little snippets based on other scenarios in the same world tho, yes.
what inspired the story? at the time of writing, anti-abortion laws became increasingly stringent in the US (where I reside), so this was partially me lashing out about that. additionally, I knew I wanted to do some sort of dystopian android x reader story with a heavy focus on stripped autonomy, so that was my time and chance to do it. at its core, it's heavily a cautionary tale.
did elio actually love mc? this is also up to interpretation. elio is a machine. he had zero real "human" components to him. I want people to remember this. elio is meant to blur those lines between what people think a machine is capable of vs how terrifyingly close to humanness technology can bring things like AI/robots. I withhold my own personal opinion on this bc it doesn't matter. what matters is what you believe in the end.
if you have anything you'd like to discuss, questions you'd like to ask: please send them my way!! thank you so much for reading!
I hope you'll consider reblogging + interacting with this post!!?đđđ
I AM IN LOVE (not my usual to-go but very hotly written đ)
hihi ! can u write for loner / incel stepbrother x m reader ? (subbot)
mhmm!!! tw;; stepcest, genuine creep character; hentai mentions; masturbation, noncon, incel step-brother, bttm male reader, minors, ageless blogs dni!!
incels; who define themselves as unable to get a romantic or sexual partner despite desiring one. yeah, sure. that was him alright - your older step-brother... nineteen, turning twenty, and you - eighteen, turning nineteen... a one year age difference, making him all jittery... he does admire you, he does! he-he's sorry he doesnt show it... he's sorry he doesnt show how badly he wants to communicate - to talk to you, to learn about you... sorry he's such a disgusting freakish loser, even. he was so excited to meet you, to be a brother after having no siblings ... finally, getting the little brother he's always wanted.
step brother... whos a genuine gross fucking weirdo. wondering how you would ever get along with this guy... he was already introverted; barely making any sort of conversation with you - its harder now that youre living together, forced to have rooms next to each other with a conjoining bathroom... you were reluctant. this guy had no idea what personal space was - getting all close as he brushes his teeth next to you every other night... but still, silent as ever... so very careful to hide certain disgusting figures of busty anime characters and toys - fleshlights and - just because hes so experimental!!! - ( already fucking himself with a fleshjack, moaning out ur name accompanied by little bro )
often masturbating in his dark little hobbit hole to brocon hentai - fantasizing that it was you calling for your big brother rather than the animated character on his monitor so unashamed...
whining to himself, voice muted as he slowly strokes along his cock - why is he so undesirable to women? and... why not have sex with the next best thing? his new little step brother... he knows hes awkward, and he knows damn well that you dont share the same interests... and he never wouldve thought it would have come to this - but here you are... in his little fantasy, bouncing on his cock and calling him big brother...
often merely jerking off to the sounds of you simply taking a shower - a shared bathroom connected between your rooms... but now - t-to stand in the corner of your room, admiring the way the moonlight hits your face, lightening your features and giving him even more room to work with - languidly stroking his cock and quieting his grunts and moans with one of your dirty shirts he found in the bathroom hamper - secretly hoping that you do wake up, that you see him masturbating to the sight of you and that you whine at how gross your big brother is - f-fuck-! painting his hand with his thick opalescent cum, cleaning it up in a huff with your shirt and taking it with him to the bathroom where he entered so sneakily...
before finally taking what hes always wanted from you!! after... listening in from the bathroom; your desperate mewls and attempts to cum - he intervenes, shoving the door open and you exclaim his name in shock - covering yourself upă Ą"d-dont call me that," he exhales shakily, climbing over you so quickly - giving you no time to react as he continues grumbling as he easily flips you on your belly and holds your wrists behind your back - ignoring your struggle to buck him off - "c-call me big brother..."
and... sitting on the edge of your bed after shucking off the rest of your clothes - cock bobbing up and down as he bounces you along his prick, your wrists restrained behind your back and being so helpless for ur big bro ,,, "y-yeah, thats right... little brother... how does big bro's cock feel inside you, huh?" mumbling a specific line from his disgusting pornos, not as embarrassed as he should be as he fucks you full of his cum rather too quickly...
First time reblogging, kinda nervous.. But the creator demanded it so here we go.. Great story btw!
genshin x sagau!bard!reader
tw: brief mention of death
â
A performer, a traveler, a bard. How peculiar you have become.
[prologue] - [next]
â
You kicked your feet back and forth from your perch atop a merchantâs carriage, grinning as you caught your first few glimpses of the city of Mondstadt. It shone in the center of Cider Lake like a crown, the many windmills chugging along, blades pushed by the invisible hand of the wind.
âHaving fun, huh,â the carriage driver chuckled, grinning at your clear excitement, âYouâre a kätzlein, arenât ya? You from here?â
âNope,â you chirped, âI get it from my mom, I think. Iâm actually from Snezhnaya.â
The driver whistled in surprise.
âSnezhnaya! Youâre real far from home!â
You nodded, admiring the way the wind blew through the grass. You werenât lying about not being from Mondstadt, at least. The anemo vision on your hip glowed beautifully in the sun, the blank vision next to it dull and cloudy.
Your Snezhnayan anemo vision was courtesy of your double, but the blank oneâŚwell, that was a much longer story.
Not one you were willing to think about now.
âShould I play some music? Weâll be there in a song or twoâs time, Iâm sure.â
âOh, please do,â the driver said, grinning gratefully, âyou know your music is always well appreciated.â
With that, you opened your fiddleâs intricate wooden case, lifting it gently from the velvet-lined box. It had cost you a small fortune back in Sumeru, having been brought there from Fontaine, but it was worth it.
You played a few notes as a test, but everything seemed to be in tune. With that, you held the fiddle up and began to play a cheery working song.
The whole world seemed to pause to listen as you played, the notes carried far and wide by the wind. You never had the musical talent on earth that you did now. You assumed that Teyvat itself guided your hands and your voice, teaching you the fiddle in a matter of days and aiding your voice where you would usually falter.
The driver began whistling to the tune. The horses, encouraged by your playing, seemed less exhausted. The hilichurls and slimes nearby followed your caravan for a short while before going back to their homes, drawn forth and pacified by your music.
You had learned to channel your magic after all, it seemed, through singing and the playing of instruments.
âŚ
It took exactly three songs to reach the city, not two like you had thought.
âŚ
You thanked the driver, as well as the merchant, for agreeing to take you along with them, before leaving the group and beginning to wander around the city of the wind.
The people of Mondstadt were quite friendly. Less so when they noticed your vision and realized where you were from, but still welcoming to an extent. It was only fair, considering that the vast majority of Snezhnayans in the city were part of the Fatui, but still uncalled for.
After wandering the city for quite a bit of time, you made your way back to the fountain in the center of the city. You smiled to the young girl who was tossing coins into the water, setting down your things, resting your hat upside down on the ground by your feet, and once again opening up your case.
The intricate appearance of the violin case, as well as the instrument itself, drew attention from a few passerby. You breathed deeply, soothing your nerves, before beginning to play.
It became clear to you that you shouldnât have worried at all about playing in the middle of the town plaza.
Your playing was as beautiful as always.
The song carried throughout the plaza, drawing the attention of most everyone nearby. The pigeons nearby settled on the buildings closest to you, leaning forward to hear better. The flowers growing in the windows and balconies of the buildings nearby seemed to sway to the music, perking up and almost seeming to grow faster. Quite a few people slowed down too, listening appreciatively and occasionally dropping some mora into your hat.
As you performed, you thought back to your first visit to Mondstadt.
It was much less pleasant, to say the least.
You had been chased out of the city within thirty minutes. The guards were probably weighing the pros and cons of running through the large crowd with their weapons drawn, but clearly they had made up their minds pretty quickly.
You had gone with them at first. You were more than willing to comply with them in the beginning, hoping that there was just some sort of misunderstanding. Once you realized just how much danger you were in, though, you ran.
You had gone to Liyue next, then Inazuma, then you passed through Liyue again and made your way to Sumeru.
Where, of course, you had almost died, and here you were now.
Minus half of your hand, sadly, but you were still alive, at the very least.
You flexed your wooden fingers, continuing to play your fiddle. Considering the money that had been tossed into your hat, you would most likely be able to find somewhere to stay the night within the city. You might even be able to afford a nice meal for yourself.
You continued to play until one of the other bards in the city chased you off, as the fountain was apparently âhisâ spot to play. Still, you probably needed a break anyways, so there werenât any hard feelings.
You made your way over to Good Hunter, ordering a plate of Sticky Honey Roast and sitting down. It was far too much food to eat by yourself, especially considering your shrunken stomach, but you managed regardless.
You sat there for a while afterwards, trying to plan what to do next.
Goth Hotel was fully booked by the Fatui, you recalled, so you wouldnât be able to stay there. You could always camp outside of the city, but you would prefer to spend the night under a roof with running water, so that was out.
Unable to recall anywhere to stay from your encyclopedic memory of the lore of Teyvat, you decided to go to the Angelâs Share and ask around there.
âŚ
The drunks at the Angelâs Share, unfortunately enough, were much less welcoming than the general public. One glance at the vision on your hip and they would ignore you for the rest of the night, occasionally glowering at you from across the tavern.
You were quite certain that you had Dilucâs hatred for the Fatui to blame for that. After all, it would only make sense that people who agreed with his sentiments would flock to the place.
Your fluffy ears twitched sadly, your tail drooping. You would have to yell at your double later for not only giving you a Snezhnayan vision, but also for giving you cat ears. It was humiliating.
You sat down at the bar, getting a drink for yourself and planning your next move. Sure, you could camp outside the city and return in the day for money, but you had been camping in the wilderness for weeks at this point, and you were quite tired of it. Maybe there was another hotel somewhere nearby..?
âAha,â someone called, interrupting your thoughts. You turned, only to seeâŚ
Mona..?
âJust as I thought,â she said, a proud smile on her face, âI knew you would be here. Your arrival was written in the stars.â
You blanked. Mona, Mona⌠of course you recognized her, you could recognize any of the playable characters, but you didnât know all too much about her. She was an astrologist, and you had seen memes about her being broke, but other than that? Nothing. You didnât know what to expect.
âAh, hello,â you greeted her nervously, tail flicking back and forth, âwho might you be?â
âI,â she started, puffing up in pride, âam Astrologist Mona Megistus, but you may call me Mona. Of course, you already know that.â
Oh, she knew.
You gave her your best pleading look, silently begging her to shut up and go somewhere more private to talk.
She either didnât notice, or she actively ignored you.
âItâs an honor to finally meet you, and Iâm sure that you feel the same way,â she continued on, âIâm certain that with our abilities combined, weââ
âOh, youâre a fan of my music?â
You stared at her with desperation clear in your eyes. Just play along, you screamed internally at her, please just play along so I donât die.
âUhâyes..?â
You smiled warmly at her, grasping her hands in yours while quickly building a role to play in your head.
âOh, itâs wonderful to meet a fan! I didnât expect to have any yet, since Iâve only just started performing!â
She nodded, clearly trying to act natural. Luckily nearly everyone in the tavern was drunk already, and wouldnât notice more subtle expressions.
âYes, IâŚI like your work quite a bit. Iâd like to discuss it with you, actually, but I fear it might be a bit too rowdy in here.â
Oh thank gods, you thought, trying not to visibly deflate in relief, thank whatever gods are out there.
âSure! Do you have any place in mind?â
âOhâŚâ Mona paused awkwardly, trying to think of something, âhow aboutâŚwe justâŚtake a walk around the city? Itâs quite beautiful when the sun starts to set.â
You nodded, following her out of the crowded tavern and into the city streets. The two of you entered a small empty alleyway as soon as you could.
You sighed in relief, heart beating heavily as you leaned against one of the alley walls.
âOh my god, I thought I was going to die,â you whimpered out, breathing deeply, âplease never do that again.â
âButâŚno one would ever dare to harm you, Your Grace,â Mona said, staring at you in confusion, âis that why you decided to take up a glamour to hide your true form as well?â
âDid you ever hear about the impostor?â
âAhâof course!â She puffed up in self-importance, âeveryone heard about them, the mortal who dared to steal the face of a god. You ordered the Archons to hunt them down and punish them for their crimes.â
âMona,â you said, your voice somewhat strained, âthat was me. The person who says theyâre the creatorâtheyâre lying. They almost got me murdered.â
Mona stared at you in disbelief.
The city of Mondstadt truly was beautiful today. The setting sun painted the buildings and the clouds in shades of yellow and red, the chatter of the crowds almost musical if you listened closely.
A gust of wind blew through the alleyway, blowing Monaâs hair into her face. But how could the wind be so gentle, so soft, now that she knew what had happened?
The astrologists originated from a friend of the original Creator. They had taught their friend everything that they knew about the stars, laying bare the secrets of the universe in front of their eyes.
Forever indebted to the Creator for their teachings, the astrologists had a sacred duty to protect the Creator and all of their creations, no matter the cost.
There were tales of astrologists who had parted seas, crumbled mountains, calmed tempests, all in the name of the Creator and their people.
Mona had failed in her sacred duty. Spectacularly.
âHeyâwait, are youâno, stop crying! I-Iâm sorry, I didnât mean to make youââ
Mona pulled you into a hug, her arms wrapped around you with all of her strength. Muffled sobs came from her shaking form.
Reluctantly, uncertainly, you wrapped your arms around her, stroking her back in a way you hoped was comforting.
âI failed you,â she gasped out. It seemed like the only thing she could say, repeating it over and over.
âHeyâno, you didnât fail me, Iâyou didnât even know! Itâs okay!â
She shook her head, utterly despondent.
âIâŚI cannot go on knowing this, knowing I have so horribly failed in my duties. Please, punish me in whatever way you see fit. I would die in order to pay this debt.â
âThatâI canât do that, Iâ,â you paused for a moment, thinking to yourself, âactually, I can think of something.â
Pulling away from you, she stared at the cobbled floor at your feet, nodding silently.
âIâŚwell, this is embarrassing, but I donât exactly have a place to stay since all the hotels are full,â you said sheepishly, scratching at the back of your head. Mona looked up at you expectantly.
âDo you thinkâŚI might be able to stay with you..?â
â
Notes: Yaurssss,,,,,,, more writing,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, inshallah I hope u enjoyed
Maybe Iâll make a playlist for this fic too, who knows lmao đ also fun fact! This ficâs original name was Tiny Mirrors, named after a song by AJJ. Also, the reader is kätzlein as a further reference to the ficâs current namesake.
"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."
Silence regathers for a quick moment as Micah haphazardly waits for her to finish and fill him in with the time elapsed since her last confession, until he at last recognizes the disembodied voice. His chin changes place with the cheek on his palm as he casts a sideways glance to the latticed window, sparing the effort to withdraw his elbow from its seat on the sill. Through the gaps of the screen and his feathery, pale eyelashes, he manages to make out the curve of a head tilted over prayer hands, their fingertips grazing the hairline.
"Let the Lord know what weighs on your conscience, child."
He hears her shuffle from one knee to the next as she kneels, and a note to remind the custodian to replace the fraying carpet flickers in his mind. He extends and relaxes the muscles of his calves and in his ankles, just enough to stop his legs from falling asleep within the cramped space of the confessional booth. Although his pristine church was far from detoriating, having subsisted off ample donations over the years, stick him in the booth long enough and he sometimes has half the mind of tearing out the structure from the floorboards himself like a tooth from its maw.
"I caught myself asleep while caring for the courtyard todayâ I immediately snapped myself out of it and was able to finish with my chores, but I fear this incident arrived too close after the nuns' last reprimand of me. They have took a notice of my idleness as well."
The choice of 'nuns' instead of 'sisters' is the only thing that stands out to him from the rather bland admission. He suspects that that lack of familiarity she addresses them with would be the final extent to which she would express, likely subconsciously anyway, any discontent she harbored with the nuns' maltreatment of her.
When he opened that particular letter bidding him to permit their daughter to take her vows, he too felt a bit of mild surprise, but that dissipated as quickly it had came. Detachment over worldly affairs and petty gossip alike aside, he did not anticipate the extent to which curiousity over her pedigree would cement into controversy for the rest of the convent.
But then again, perhaps that was lack of foresight on his part, since controversy was what her family was mired in. It was not the first or the last instance that their prominent surname was uttered about in hushed tones, but the one that did them in was when a certain head priest and nun left in dishonor from the very churchdoors that separated his convent from the rest of the world. Although the guilty party in question was from a generation that seized to have survivors quite a while ago, as it would turn out she would remain as their legacy in the eyes of the less charitable. While her family became a generous benefactor for his church over the years and was now at least formally under its good grace, it still stood amongst the community the impression that charity was the only virtue that they partook in, wontingly circumventing every other.
"Have you any trouble sleeping at night?" he treads, subtly leading her to break the anonymity the booth is supposed to afford. Although he had intervened to replace the meagre room and board that the sisters had provided her, he would not be the least bit surprised if they were still somehow behind her restless nights. Once he had seen her atop a wobbling ladder as she shakily dusted the cornices of the sanctuary, and believed it was a foolhardy attempt she had herself contrived to gain the approval of the convent. However, when he got her to step down to safety she informed him that it was basically the sisters' idea to risk stumbling onto her neck with no one to watch her in case of such an accident. Not only that, but it turned to be only an instance in a laundry list of Herculean labors that they shelved for the girl. He understood that the nuns would naturally require novices to prove themselves, but this mild hazing had long run its course, if it even could still be called that. From all accounts, she was a rather plain girl, and her arrival at the convent did not dissuade that impression he had of her at all. The nuns on the other hand seemed to insist that she was a 'spoiled princess who needed to be taught a lesson or two', a conclusion they arrived at long before she did.
"Not at all," she responds, "I find the nights here to be quite peaceful and quiet. I guess it is on account of indulging in both that I've started sleeping later."
A plain answer from a rather plain girl.
"There is one other thing I suppose."
Micah makes a non-commital hum. Truthfully he usually acts much more engagingly with his parishioners and convent no matter how mind-numbingly insipid the interactions are, masterfully cajoling them to air out their grievances and guilts under his confidence, as his duty dictates. That and her being the member of family of particularly influential parishioners should really press him into wearing his best face, even with the latticed barrier between the both of them. There is something about her, though, that makes him comfortable with withdrawing such airs. If she has nothing critical to say of the nuns, he rationalizes, then his current conduct would likely not cause him to withdraw from her favor either.
"I fear that I may also be too attached to worldly possessions. I find myself often missing a personal effect I had to give up when I arrived at the convent."
He wonders if it is the silver spoon the nuns were so keen in finding on your person.
"Ah," he half-remembers. "The toy stereoscope with the moths?"
"Oh- yes," she affirms, and he hears her hands slide up and down along the skirt of her habit before meeting each other again. His cassock begins to feel itchy. "I had had it since I was a kid. I liked to- to flip between the images. Of the moths." He hears the gears shifting in her brain as she figures, yes, of course, the personal effects would eventually makes its way into the hands of the head priest, who had a vested interest in all who come to his convent to take their vows. He straightens his spine as his arms fall to his side, and resists the urge to crack his knuckles. His mind blanks on what to follow up with, and hers apparently as well, and this quiet disturbs him more than it should as his predictable inclination for the upperhand in any conversation and its flow rears its head again; perhaps it is more surprising that it had laid dormant for any amount of time. The awkward silence that follows causes him regret the breach of impersonal formalities that he was responsible for encouraging in the first place.
"The garden is especially beautiful at nighttime this time of year," she ushers out the hush that had fallen.
He hums again.
"It's lovely all day long, but the moths wake up in the evening and after which you can really see them out and about. They're especially attracted by the flowersâ the groundskeeper mentioned that you're particularly careful with caring and choosing for which get planted."
"Do you have a favorite?" he abruptly asks. The waning daylight finds its way through the perforations in the door of the confessional booth, and he watches dust dance with each other before putting his palm in front of his eyes, resting his index finger across his browbone. Despite his interest in florticulture, seasonal allergies the one ailment he was invincible against since birth, that question is one he seldom broached with others. When he was much younger, he entertained the idea that you could tell a lot about a person's psychology by their preference in flowers, only to discover that oftentimes this choice was guided by the same mindlessness that usually governed the rest of their passive life. Still, he patiently waits as she pauses in contemplation.
"A feathered thorn, maybe."
His brow momentarily knits in confusion under his hand.
Oh.
She is referring to a moth.
"Thank you," he says, though he is not what for, perhaps belatedly acknowledging the compliment she gave to his garden.
"Of course, Father."
Another pause.
"Your penance is two Hail Marys, one Our Father."
"Thank you, Father."
Micah peers down on the overturned earth where a datura had once made itself home. Cold apathy wraps itself around his heart, as he remembers the detachment his father offhandedly addressed with what had once been his mother's garden. Micah's garden. The so-called queerness of flowers and foliage that were too busy resting when it came to greet daytime visitors, but awake just in time to welcome unwanted ones. Micah having to shed unnecessary externalities while he prepared to enter seminary, was reaching that age where he would become a man. He recalls his own response of selective muteness, knowing distinctly the position of a boy of twelve and his personal thoughts within the household.
He shuts his eyes, and a hand tightens around a rosary, a thumb running along a ceramic bead.
His voidlike pupils emerge from that violent blink, and he walks back into the house with placid movements, soundlessly closing the door behind him. He tears off his scarf as if it was moth-eaten.
His mother's face when she caught him pressing his chafed fingers on the delicate petals of a morning glory, careful to not tear away at them.
Micah's hair might appear endlessly soft to the touch, but it is anything but. The strands are so thick, that if one was not deliberate enough when handling them a few would inevitably pierce the skin. One of the earliest responsibilities he bestowed on himself was learning to do his own hair, sparing his mother's hands from the splinter-like cuts that would occur whilst braiding or trimming it. He could still perceive the smack of her palm against the back of his head when he ran his inflamed fingers along the stained glass windows of the church for relief. When she had startled him by calling his name as he caressed the morning glory, he instinctively expected a similar reprimand, even an echo of his father's lectures on becoming a man. As he looked up at her face with his knees digging into the ground, the only thing beating down on him was his mother's smile.
When he was smaller it was not abundantly clear to him the connection between her concern for his sickly health and her devotion to the church. Much to his father's chagrin, his mother spared his early childhood from both hard work and hard play on account of his frail constitution. Even leisurely explorations of the outside world in daylight remained scant, his pale skin and white eyelashes rebelling against the sun which punished his insolence with rashes from its heat and migraines from its brightness. The attendance of mass, however, as well as the receiving of blessings from any priest that she could seize the attention of, was an exception, and a non-negotiable one at that. Prayer, was his constant companion that formed the monotony of his life which replaced both childhood friends and the daily sunrises, save for Sunday mornings when his mother would wake him up early to attend church and catch a glimpse of bored neighborhood kids who he could not exchange a word with as they rubbed the sleep out of their eyes listening to the priests speak. So when she woke him up again at around the same time the following day, the sun still hibernating as late winter only had just began to converge with early spring, he confronted the task of cleaning the courtyard of weeds and dead leaves without question and with a vigor out of place in the frigid landscape.
Lamb's ears. Vervain. Moonflowers. Four o' clocks. Artemesia. Angel's trumpet.
Their names would have to press into his memory for quite a while before their faces could. If they pressed on a bit harder, he supposes, he would have figured out his mother's design a bit earlier. Nonetheless, underneath the watch of his widebrimmed hat, his early mornings and then his evenings too were preoccupied with watering and pruning and fertilizing, constant monitoring in general, so much so that short term changes animated him more than long term prospects would. The stems for arms and leaves for fingers that extended themselves to the sky, the vines that groped their way up trelisses and across walls. The buds which had tentatively peeked out like the head of a turtle from its shell after a long winter. These were all rewards in themselves.
It felt in some way that not only his mother, but the world, was imparting a mystery on him and that he was also a part of.
The lamb's ears would be the first to bloom, in the late spring.
Well not quite.
Micah was disappointed when his mother had informed him that despite the inexorable spread of its creeping stems as they took root in the claylike soil, it would only start to flower in its second year. She had comforted him though by reminding him of its name and that its silvery leaves are the primary reason for its residence in the gardens in which it presides, as was the case with the Artemesia that would actually blossom that mid-summer.
Further respite was that the angel's trumpets that his mother had been caring for for the past nearly five years would finally bloom in the coming months during that very same time. Micah had not even been aware that the nightshade was capable of producing flowers, and once or twice had silently questioned of such an inconspicuous plant in the garden, the sole one at that time, which also needed to be brought home inside every winter. Once he had asked his mother if she liked it because it was mentioned somewhere in the bible, and she only laughed at him although he had broached the topic in complete seriousness.
The vervain and moonflowers ended up being the first to bloom, and in tandem. He had been awoken from a nap at a call for dinner when he had decided to check the garden first, and discovered that the buds of each plant had simultaneously burst open. His heart had swelled at the sight of the bubbles of tiny purple trumpets and the giant rounded white stars swaying in the evening breeze. When his mother had come out to see what was taking him so long to set the table, she practically had to pry him away, making him rub his hands on her apron on account of the latter's poison.
When he did make it to the dinnertable after thoroughly washing his hands, he could barely contain his excitement at the new developments. Although children were raised to be seen and not heard in his household, with little restraint he waxed about the garden and repeatedly asked his mother when he could expect the rest of the blossoms. It was a conversation between mother and son mostly, as his father remained characteristically quiet after he had said grace. It seemed for the most part that he silently approved of the manual labor his son was undertaking, having spent most of his boyhood without physical exertion.
His excitement dulcified into satisfaction for the time being so he had slept well and without break that night, but when he returned that following morning to the garden, he was startled to see that while the vervain still undulated in the wind like bubbles of sea foam, the moonflower had closed up shop as quickly as she had arrived. When he scuttered back home to find his mother and tell her that something had happened to the moonflowers, a look of confusion laid on her face before blithe composure returned at his description. She briefly chastised him on his lack of discernment, because if he could not at least recall that she had already mentioned it to him, he could surmise from the name that the plant prefered moonlight over the sun. He flushes at his previous panic, as he belatedly remembers her alluding that the flower only bloomed at night; him, being mistaken that the blossoms burst forth from the buds during a particular evening, then continuously blooming for the next few months.
In June the clock would finally strike four. Their architecture was that of the poisonous moonflowers though on a smaller scale, but much more colorful, as if someone took a paintbrush to make streaks of magenta across their white and yellow basecoats. It also would bloom later in the day, though a bit earlier than dusk, and his mother joked if he needed an exact reminder of when. The humidity of the season's evening pronounced its otherwise delicate smell, until it had become synonymous with summer nights for him.
The advent of the artemesia and the angel's trumpet in mid-August would complete this party of parioshioners that would attend Micah's midnight mass. Tiny, yellow clusters abutting the lobed, white fuzzed leaves reminded him of wreaths of winterberries, the sweet, fruity quality of the flowers marrying with the camphorous, sagelike aroma of the foliage. His mother's long-awaited nightshade on the other hand was beyond comparison, hanging downwards like a sunset-colored bell that would only ring at dusk, or a trumpet directed at a headstone to awake the dead. It seemed either that the third time was a charm, or he required the whole before he could understand the unity of its parts, but was his mother's moon garden, at any point, truly incomplete? On moonless nights when the silvery foliage would glow a little dimmer? Before a moth with tea-stained wings, the same color as blood dried on strands of white hair, would stir from its slumber to visit one September evening, and have its final rest on the arbor of a clock? At every midnight mass that did happen to take place, because the lamb's ear would be cut down prematurely, without any blooms?
Unfinished, maybe, but not incomplete.
PAIRINGS: yandere childhoodbestfriend!kazuha x reader
TAGS: noncon, full nelson, fingering, creampie, mirror sex, breeding, insecure reader, implied fem!chubby!reader, childhood friends to lovers, forced marriage au, brat!reader, kinda mean!reader, manipulative!kazuha, reader has self-esteem issues and is afraid to get pregnant, kaedahara âjust the tipâ kazuha
WORDS: 3.5k // crossposted on ao3Â // my masterlist
NOTES: this is for @miniatureneckpandamugâ who won first place on my milestone raffle! thank you for giving me such a big brain prompt that i got carried away, i honestly loved writing this. this is for my big girls and kazuha fuckers out there, come get yâalls food!
Kaedahara Kazuhaâs return shocked everybody.
After the widespread news of successfully stopping the Musou no Hitotachi, he became a hero to Inazuma and your hometownâs pride. Itâs hard not to reminisce childhood memories when heâs the talk of the town; that big cherry blossom tree in your uncleâs courtyard was where both of you would chase finches when the sun rose and rest under the shade as the sun sets. He was a mere boy when he left to train as a samurai, and now heâs grown to his features and became a formidable young man known for his swordsmanship and artistic poetry.
The future of the Kaedahara Clan is now on his palm. And with the rise of a clan, a new heir shall come.
âYou may now kiss the bride.â The priest announces, and for a second, you hold your breathâ until Kazuha gently lifts up your veil and seals your fate with a kiss.
Keep reading
#
dick grayson x male reader x peter parker.
summary: dick and peter become your professors in kissing 101 (& more).
wc: 6.2k. genre: smut. warnings: top!peter, top!dick, bottom!reader, handjobs, blowjobs, kissing, cum-swapping, mouth-fucking, threesome, unprotected rough!sex, reader's first time, characters are aged up!
notes: yeah, so um... this might be my dirtiest smut yet. this was also my first time writing a threesome soooo, i hope i did okay? thank you, anon!
request by: anonymous.
âyouâre lying! youâve really never kissed anyone before?â
âdude, like, ever?!â peter gasped, and you turned towards him, slowly nodding while you grew cautious of everyoneâs confusion.Â
ânot even when you were in kindergarten?â you twisted your neck for the nth time at the sound of dickâs voice again, and shame unexpectedly crept onto you the more the two men collected their bafflement together.
your cheeks and neck flamed as they both stared at you, bewildered as if your confession was akin to an unmasking of a superheroâlike a family of lemurs, a small one, youâd reckon.
âgeez,â your hand clutched onto the can of sparkling water harder before downing it, ridding your insecurity in several hard and fizzy gulps. âif i knew i was going to be interrogated, i wouldnât have told you guys in confidence.â
âno, itâs justâŚâ a careful exchange was puzzled together by the two men. dick shrugged and peter stammered, following you into the kitchen of his apartment. âi mean, not to make you feel weird or anything, but youâre not ugly.â
âi- pete, was that supposed to be a compliment?â your eyes narrowed at him jokingly, maintaining the coldness of your gaze to break peter into nervous stammers.Â
âw-what, no!â he shook his head and approached you closer, a mixture of awkward laugher filling the feigned tension between the both of you. âwait- no, i mean, yes! itâs a compliment.â
youâve always found it cute.
âi think what peter means isâŚâ bouncy steps followed you two into the kitchen, more-so to sate his appetite for pizza after losing his tenth consecutive match on a game, but consider his curiosity piqued. a mouthful of pepperoni and cheese didnât stop him from joining. âyouâre handsome, he talks about it all the time.â
âdude...â peter grumbled and instinctively turned his body away out of your sight, sipping at nothing in his cup. the only fizz left was the glare he sent dick; like a sparkler on holiday festivities.Â
âoops, my bad,â another bite, and dick took his cup of soda to gulp the grease down. âwe find you handsomeâthough, iâm pretty sure (m/n) knew that since i hit on him when we first met.â
âgod,â you laughed it off, picking the pizza box of gloopy cheese to take it in your mouth. âcan you imagine? my first kiss being with you? or even peter?â
yes, you can imagine. those thoughts had run rampant since you met them in freshman year of university, expanded upon it even. what would it be like to date dick? how soft were his lips? and the same for peter. sometimes, youâd even think about making out while he was in his spider-man costume, but that fantasy was shamefully bookmarked into a deep abyss of thoughts, only sprouting when you would touch yourself at night.
âwhy?â peter turned back, almost offended, while dickâs laughter joined you, and you swear you can feel a draft from how quickly he twisted around. âis that weird?â
âkinda?â the conversation made you shift on your feet. it was more intimate than what you were used to, and they knew it too, judging by the way they both stared at you againâhyenas. âi mean, i guess itâs because weâre so close now, soâŚâ
âpft, that never stopped me,â it was like a magic spell drew that confession out of dick. your fingers would have to be cut to coerce that out of you, but you werenât dickâshameless and confident, you admired it on good days.Â
nonetheless, you and peter both gave dick a questioning look. offended would be a regular personâs first reaction, but from the brief exchange you and peter shared, it was unanimous that curiosity took the lead.
dickâs gaze shifted from you and peter, and when the silence drew out for longer than he wouldâve thought, a welcoming draft in the room awaited his rebuttal. âcome on- you seriously think i stopped thinking about you guys just because weâre best friends now?
âdude, you think about me?â peterâs eyes widened. it wouldâve been hilarious if you werenât involved. you wouldâve passed this off as a banter, no more than that.Â
you hated to admit it, but you felt yourself throb at this revelation. blood rushed downwards in light speed and you were barely conscious to the drone of peter and dickâs chatter, but you shook it off, laughing at their banters like you aways did.
the day went on like usual. peterâs collection of video games kept you guys entertained for a few hours. when you felt fatigued from mashing your thumb onto the buttons for the ninth match, a walk downtown sufficed. laughing and bantering were the core of your friendship with dick and peterâlike every friendship youâd imagine.
but at its finest, it was their vulnerabilities to you, and yours to them, that kept the foundation strong. they trusted you with every secret of theirs, aided them in a few missions of their own, and your friendship thrived.Â
the next few days havenât been exactly the smoothest. you were quieter than usual, and they both took notice because youâd pick at your food while their voicesâquestions and commentsâwere ignored, passersby to the street of hearville.
was it that weird to have never kissed at your age? to never have had sex? to not even have had held hands with another guy? they never made fun of you, but you couldnât help but let these thoughts run rampant.
no. no, it wasnât. people have their own pace. mine... just somehow happens slower.
you werenât insecure, but you still felt weird. you suddenly became moody when you saw dick and peter, like you want to be left alone, push them out of your apartment when they drop a visit, drop their pants and suck them off-
oh.
ohhhhh.
dick and peter.
âteach me.â you suddenly spoke out and the two men looked up from their plate of food, exchanging a look with each other before questioning you, humored because you barely spoke all day. the tv played in the background and you were all sitting on the ground, eating off of peterâs very⌠very small coffee table.
âah, i almost forgot what your voice sounded like, (m/n)!â dick laughed, twirling his fork into his pasta before shoving the food into his mouth.Â
you made a slight pout, only because they werenât taking you seriously. though, to be fair, you have been acting weird all week.
âwith what?â peter noticed, a little more serious in his inquiry. but food was more of a priority for him, you can see him practically sweating at the thought of leaving his spaghetti cold.
âpete, you can still eat-â you laughed, taking a bite of your food.Â
âoh, thank god.â and peter does the same, chowing down on his spaghetti after a hard day of saving lives.
dick cleaned his palette with a cold gulp of soda, a refreshing hiss when the bubbles trickled down his throat. âso, teach you what exactly?â he continued on. âfighting? oh, dude, are you going to be a vigilante-â
âno, no! does it look like i have the strength to be like batman or something?âÂ
âwell, iâm guessing thatâs why you came to us for training?â dick amused himself, and peter chuckled, much to your annoyance.Â
âguys, i donât want to be a vigilante.â you grumbled, beginning to bury your confession deep in the pit of your stomach somewhere. âor a superhero, or a guy in a spider-suit with weird web things.â
âhey, theyâre not weird-â
âi want toâŚâ it was calming to watch the way your fork swirled itself into the pasta, metal tongs pierced and capturing a wave of sauce and spaghetti all in one swirl. âlearn what itâs like to kiss.â
peter choked on his glass of water.
you continued, hot in the cheeks because you can see peterâs widened eyes even when you look away. âhandjobs, blowjobs, everythingâŚâ
and a piece of dickâs meatball was caught in his throat.
a low drone accompanied the silence once the tv was muted and while a huge weight lifted off your shoulders and chest, you felt small knowing how vulnerable and weird your request sounded.Â
âso, you want us to teach you how toâŚâ dick cleared his throat and you feel like you could hear a smile, but you werenât sure if that was your mind trying to convince you that everything was fine. âkiss and⌠other things?â
âyeah,â you continued to avoid your gaze, opting for the wooden floor instead. âi know, itâs weird. you donât have to say yes or anything, itâs just-â
âis that why youâve been acting stand-offish lately? peter was worried. he was the type to always blame himself of someone elseâs behavior, no matter how much you tried to reassure him. though, you guess, he technically was the reason why you became so moodyâpart of it, anyway.Â
âmhm.â the silence was defeating, you can hear their necks turn to look at each otherâof judgement, most likely.
and it was all but confirmed when you can see them hopping back onto their feet and runningârunning as far from you as possible. âguys, wait, iâm sorry-â
you looked up and watched them dash to peterâs bathroom, immediately chasing after the trail of their steps in bewilderment. âwhat are you-â
âfirst step, make sure you have good breath.â dick handed you your toothbrush, his spare one at peterâs already brushing into the foaming spearmint in his mouth.
âatleastluntilhelikeyousenoughâ peter gargled thick and incoherent, brushing into his jumbled sentence.
âuh-huh, okay⌠seems a little obvious, butâŚâ you spread the toothpaste on the bristles of your brush and began brushing, a smile forming because you have to brush the front teeth tooâbut also because of your best friends.
you can always count on them.Â
âyou ready?â dick naturally became the leader of this impromptu training program. he was the most experienced considering how many women and men you caught him with, and as much as you hated that when you were roommates with him, his expertise was needed in this moment.Â
âyes.â you sat in the middle of peter and dick, rubbing your sweaty palms against your shorts. a mere flash of regret ignited inside of your beating heart, but peter rested his hand on top of one of yours, squeezing ever so gently to warm and soothe youâto pacify you.
and your worries were quelled when dick does the same, his smile softer, countering his usual playful attitude. âjust stop me whenever you feel uncomfortable.â he made you feel safe.
you looked at peter, and he nodded in agreement, his fingers now intertwined with yours. he had always kept you safe, feeling safe, this was a normal feeling towards him. âsame with me.â âi will.â your voice was quiet in the bedroom, a mere soft whisper, but they recognized your will to be more vulnerable with one another, to blossom. and dick appeased it with a kiss.
light and feathery at first to test the water, but once dick heard your breath hitch, he applied more pressure in between your lips, capturing them in a slow waltz that kept you on your toes, yet flat on your feet to contain your excitementâyour relief.Â
it was awkward at first, to find your footing. your nose would bump into his, teeth as well, but dick chuckled, assuring you this will always happen.
unbeknownst to you, dickâs been wanting to do this since he met you, and he savored every second. âremember what i told you⌠build it up.â he reminded you because you were getting eager, following his lead but returning his kiss in hard sucks. ânice and slow.âÂ
peterâs palm on your thigh pressed gently onto your bare skin, mistakenly under the lift of your shorts because he was too in awe of the kiss, but they grounded you from your brief flight to the heavenly clouds nonetheless.
ânice and slowâŚâ dick repeated, and you succumbed to his reminder like a prodigy. âthatâs it.â it lasted for a few seconds longer until you pulled away to capture your breath again. your lips tingled still, remembering the taste of spearmint when dickâs breath ghosted on your skin.
âwas that okay?â an innocent question, but you swore you stole that exact same tone from a porn you watched the other day.
âa natural,â dick laughed, stroking your hair back and youâve never see him so affectionateâloving, as he doted on you. âtry it on peter. more touching though, if youâre okay with that.â
you nodded and turned your head, meeting peterâs gaze with a flushed smile, your lips slightly swollen from your previous endeavor. âIâm okay with that.â
âme too.â peter smiled, only softening when you leaned in, and it completed hid against you when you captured his smile with a kiss.Â
his hand gently placed on the back of your head when you did and he pulled you closer into him, returning the kiss, and spilling his breath into yours, while at the same time, drawing yours out. ârub my chest, i like it when people do that.â peter whispered in between each kiss.
you do as you were told, a gentle hand to peterâs broad chest, and you feel yourself tightening, satisfied with how intimate this all is as you felt the muscles on his chest through the fabric.
in the meantime, dickâs been squeezing at the bulge in his pants, containing his will to completely ravish you simply by watching the way you and peter made out. heâs always been observant, noticing the strong twitching of peterâs own erection, and soon yours when peter slid his tongue into your mouth.Â
it was tantalizingâbreath-takingâ watching intimacy build up and vulnerabilities become unimaginably pliant before him. the pink muscles looped and swirled with one another, spreading and sharing sticky saliva until your mouth and peterâs were practically coated in it, glossed in sheen.
when peter pulled away, your lips were immediately stolen by dick again, kissing you with more strength than before, stubbornly refusing the chance for you to restock on oxygen as he wanted a taste of you too. the air became thicker, harder to breathe, but you basked in the taste, the wetness of dickâs tongue, and allowed yourself to become weak in his arms when he took you in, embraced you closely. âmmf...â you moaned out, breathing harder.
but just like dick, peter wasnât finished with you, directing his tongue and lips to the back of your neck when you turned away. his ticklish and fleeting kisses pulled you back into peterâs arms, but dick noticed and pulled you forward: a stubborn game of gentle tug of war.Â
they wanted you, every piece of you. it was telling as peter sucked into your neck, venomous and poisoning, and when dick began directing your hand under his shirt, allowing you to feel his toned stomach and chest, and eventually his clothed erection, making you squeeze around it with an open palm.
lessons have completely escaped to the back of minds, and all that remained was pure lust.
âitâs okay if you donât want to.â dick reassured. though, ironically, his hand atop of yours, relieving the ache in his pants continued.
through swollen lips, you managed to mutter, distracted by peterâs bruising sucks to other areas of your neck and skin, whimpering when he bit a little too hard. âi did say teach me everythingâŚâ his hands were under your shirt now, warming your bare skin with his palms, excited, but fleeting as they immediately tied to the buttons of your shorts when you gave the okay.
âhey, hey,â dick laughed, watching the way peter has grown grandly impatient. âyouâre going to scare him, horn dog.â he left a kiss on your lips, a quick one before leaning past you to kiss peter.
you watched in awe at what a kiss was supposed to be like: burning with ease and passion with every stroke of their lips, no hesitation at allâjust a moment of time that theyâll remember. you backed into the bed and leaned against the headboard as they kissed at the foot. you donât remember having your hand down your shorts, but you do, palming yourself to your own private show.
the kiss ran sloppy, drool dripping down either chins, stained with intimacy, and clothes were quickly tossed to the side, with no care in the world.
you followed.
even though you were similar height to peter, he was strongerâthey both were. and now, you felt smaller as they climbed onto the bed, towards you, bare and hardened. you watched breathlessly, as their cocks swung heavy with heat. peterâs pre-cum dripped thickly in yearn for something to fuck, while dickâs throbbed for something to fillâa porn scene come to lifeâand you were left agape, jaw and legs.
âkinda surprised weâve never done this sooner,â peter said, you werenât used to his voice so low. kneeling on the bed, by your left hip, he took your hand and kissed the palm, the wrist of it, skimmed his lips over your forearm before guiding It toward his cock, aching for your touch. âthough, was hoping iâd have you to myself, butâŚâ gently, your hand was cradled to wrap around his shaft, warm and running with veins, it pulsed. âthis works too.â
your chest rose with every spoken word, and peter has never looked hotter. taking control of you like that made your skin crawl, a spell that commanded you to move your hand back and forth, conjuring you to pump him in slow strokes.
contrary to his overall demeanor, his actions were of warmth. caresses to your head, doting on you with honey dripping from his gaze and cotton in touch while you sinned.Â
you didnât know where to lookâto fall in love with the way peter gazed at you like a painting in a museum, or to salivate over the way his pre-cum leaked thickly over your hand when you squeeze it out of him, like a bottle of maple syrup.
that became more a problemâa dilemmaâwhen you felt a wetness over your right nipple, then a sting when dick bites to get your attentionâselfish and stubborn, like always. âare you sure this wasnât a tactic to get all three of us in the same room? you seem comfortable.â
he tongued your nub, flicking back and forth to make you squirm, to hear the sound of your moans, to be the reason you have trouble sleeping at night. alongside, his palm ran over your bodyâchest first, down your stomach, and finally, your erect cock and balls.
you watched, breathless, continuing to stroke peterâs cock and heâd lean over to give you a few kisses here and there. for the most part, he was content like this, watching you squirm while maintaining to do the best to pleasure him.
âno, i swear- itâs just-â dick played with your balls, squeezing and tugging on the tight sack to loosen them. every man was sensitive down there, you were no exception. âyou guys made me feel safe, soâŚâ
âwell,â you looked up when peter spoke, his eyes fluttered shut, and you only got them to open when you thumbed the slit of his head, rubbing slick all over his glans, then the length of his cock when you continued stroking. âwe are superheroes.â
you all laughed, switching gazes between the both of them, but it was dickâs mouth suddenly wrapping around you that made you concentrate only on him.
âoh, fuckâŚâ warmth surrounded you, inhaled you in one shallow breath, before dick pulled you out of his wet mouth, taunting you with the loss of heat.
âitâs just like kissing,â he said, licking a stripe over the underside of your cock, tonguing his favorite spot: the neck of the glans and the frenulum. dick followed the lines of flesh with precision, leading the very tip of his tongue into the duct of your urethraâonce again, tonguing it while his eyes focused on you, devious. âbut let curiosity take you further and explore every part of their body.â
âm-mmâŚâ you were sure there was meaning to his words, but they fell on deaf ears. instead, you focused on the ample heat that engulfed you again, moaning.
âevery.â dick took you in and pulled you out with a pop.
âfuck-â you breathed out, curling your toes into the sheets.
âpart.â holding your cock up and stroking sloppily, he inhaled your ballsack. sweaty and musty, they mustâve been, but dick devoured the scent, the taste of sins with hungry sucks and licksâardent and full of fervor.
and at the moment where you most expected to let out a moan, it was shoved down your throat when peter suddenly situated you in between his legs and filled your mouth with his thick cock, smelling of sweat and sex when you inhaled near his trimmed hairs.
âcome on,â peter briefly pulled out, tapping the plump tip over your lips. âyou learn best when you demonstrate what youâve been taught.â
peter covered your view of dick, but you werenât sure if you needed to see him because you felt every maneuver of dickâs tongue, now drowning your cock with his mouth while he continued assaulting your sensitive balls, tugging and squeezing.Â
you looked up and peter never looked bigger, more intimidating, but itâs become your new addiction, and you take his cock, holding it thick and take in what you can. it was barely past the tip before you could feel yourself gagging, but with peterâs reassurance, you swallow more of him every time you went down, slicking him up with your spit.
âhowâs he doing, pete?â your cock was left cold when dick pulled away to speak, but he made up for it with his hand, stroking his spit with your cock.
âhe really is a natural.â peter chuckled, watching you with a scrunched face of pleasure whenever you pulled him deeper into your mouth. almost down your throat now, but he pulled his cock back completely before you can fully take him. âyou try.â
âfuck, yes.â dick leaped over and used the spit from your length earlier to lube his own cock, spitting in his palm and stroking when it wasnât slicked to his likening while peter scooted back to kneeling at your side, stroking himself now.
as your head was positioned in between both their cocks, dickâs was bigger, thickerâa mouth stretcher youâd imagine. but peterâs was longer, veinier, and the only thing they had in common was that their balls hung loose. in porn terms, hung like a horse.Â
and on this very day, you considered yourself a lucky man because you have no objection to either, no will to pick and choose.
âlook at you,â dickâs voice was rugged, deep, and he pushed his cock past your swollen lips. there was a clear difference in girth. your mouth was stretched wide, and you could only hum a sound of satisfaction, even with the slight sting from the stretch of skin. âwho knew youâd be such a cock lover, hm?âÂ
âhe canât get enough of it, godâŚâ peter was in awe, salivating and stroking quicker at the sight.
two hands kept dickâs cock still in your mouth while you sucked on the bulbous tip like a lollipop. the rest of your hands stroked whatever you couldnât mange to fit in your mouth. you were apologetic at first, but dickâs smirk told a simple story of his ego, clearly aroused by the size of his own cock as it only grew wider when you struggled downing him, gagging with a whimper.
âcome on⌠(m/n), you can do better than that. you were so good at sucking peter off, kissing us too. what happened?â dick pulled away to stroke himself with your spit, but he quickly buried any excuses into your throat when he pushed himself into your mouth.
âyouâre too comfortable now, (m/n). youâre slackingâŚâ peter joined the banter, and when dick pulled out of your mouth, peterâs cock replaced the loss of warmth to your surprise.
holy shit, this is happening.
like a see-saw, the two men alternated in filling your mouth, stuffing saliva further and further down your throat, without allowing a single excuse from you to escape. itâs buried now, deep in the pit of your stomach, and all you can do was be the prodigy that they wished for you to be.
when it was dickâs turn to stretch your mouth, you made sure that peterâs cock wasnât left abandoned, stroking him with distracted strokes, and vice versa when it was his turn at your throat. you overworked yourself in pleasuring your two best friends, making sure they were satisfied with you, with your mouth as you took more of them without a single plea for a break.
âfuck, there we goâŚâ occasionally, dick would take control by holding the back of your head and fucking inside of your tight mouth. drool leaked down either corners of your mouth while you let him, tears brimming in your eyes when your throat tightened again, a familiar feeling that dick encouraged to hold back. âthereâs my star. taking cock like a good student.âÂ
if there was one thing that these very brief lessons have taught you, you were exactly what they named you: a cock lover. you slurped at whateverâwhoeverâentered your mouth absentmindedly, spat on cocks that have begun to look more or less the same, because it was dizzying now. your cock was left alone, but it stood tall and proud, throbbing as the two men harassed your face and mouth with their erections. one would gag you while the other had his balls shoved to your face and nose, sliding its wet, dirty slick all over your skin, staining you with lust.
it alternated like this for a while, and you were content, so was dick and peter. but you needed moreâsomething to fill you elsewhere that wasnât your dirty mouth. and you pleaded with your eyes, looking up at your best friends with delighted tears, a mouthful of cock, and a gaze only a cock loving whore could haveâand they recognized it.Â
peter was reluctant to pull away, he was so close. but heâs always been selfless. he released his hold on you and it was a struggle to pull you away, but he did with your lips suctioning off with a quiet pop. a thick string of spit that once connected between your lips and peterâs cock laid like webs on your chin, cooling as you watched the two men reposition themselves.
âiâm going to assume we donât need a lesson in how to finger yourself, hm?â dick whispered against your swollen lips and kissed you again. you were entranced under his tongue, swirling all over yours like ocean waves while you touched yourself to his licks. you twisted and pinched your nipples, tugged on them with the occasional help from dick, then stroked your cock while dick continued from peterâs original trail of bruising kisses to mark his own territory on your body. you were as horny as they were, if not hornier, and you needed them inside of you, in any way possible.
âfuck, i need you guys so bad.â breathless in your moans, your legs squirmed when you felt something wet between your thighs when they were raised, peterâs nice girth sliding in between the plump skin.Â
he thrusted himself slow and steady while he worked on your hole, reaching down to prepare you with his lubed digits, one by one. youâve done this before, they were surely aware, so it wasnât a unit that was particularly focused.
in between preparation, your mouth remained on dickâs cock again, delivering him your fullest attention with several lathers of your tongue, sucking hard and hollow, deep into your throat. you remember what he taught you and occasionally stuffed your mouth with his balls, sucking on the weight and letting go with a pull because you got off on seeing how they tensed and jiggled when you did.
âiâll go slow.â peter leaned in with your legs hooked over his shoulders, bending you back, and kissing the tip of your nose when he was close enough to your face. âtell me if you want to stop.â
once you nodded, allowing him the will to deliver on his promise, peter made sure to lube himself up once more before pushing inside of you, slow and steady. he was careful, watching your face as it scrunched when the head slid inâburned when the rest of him filled you to the brim.
it was almost like you couldnât breathe. it was too much, to be bearing all of this pain alone, but at the same time, you held peter close, wrapped your arms around him to prevent him from leaving you while you buried tiny whimpers into his neck, because you donât want to stop feeling it, so full and devoured. it was written all over their faces when you glanced at themâthey didnât want to stop either.Â
peter and dick decorated your skin in wet kisses, distracting you from the pain while peter began to find a rhythm. although slow, you were beginning to familiarize yourself with this pain. soon after, pleasure, when he struck something inside of you, a certain spot.
âoh- peter, right there, fuck.â your legged tightened around him and the sweat from your thighs rolled back onto your stomach when peter re-adjusted himself to fuck you at a higher angle, folding you onto your back.Â
âyeah? right here?â peter thrusted into that spot dead-on, like a dart to a bullseye, and you groaned, your throat aching in pleasure, but dick pacified it with his cock again, filling you up once more. âoh fuck, look at you. all of your holes are filled up, fuck⌠so fucking tightâ
âbaby, youâre doing a great job, godâŚâ your heart beat when dick called you that. it was always something he said as a joke when he arrived to your place. honey, darling, you name it, but the fact that it came out so genuine, it made your skin flush red and you could only respond in moans while you sucked him off. âi think he likes it when you fuck him like that, pete.â
for the first time, you felt wanted.Â
peterâs thrusts were hard and strong, his balls swung into with every rhythm. you can see the muscles in his thighs flexing whenever he pounded down into your tight hole, your bodies colliding like waves to a rock. it stung whenever his skin slapped into yours, sweaty and musky, but the sinful sounds were well-worth the prize as you basked in them, in the taste of dickâs cock, the sound of peterâs grunts, the flutter of dickâs eyes when you gargled his cock again, deeper, the sweat dripping from peterâs forehead and bodyâthe bedroom hailed of sex. it rocked of brutal creaks and slams as both of your holes were violated and filled to the very brim, all driven by pure lust.Â
after some time, they switched spots, tag-teaming so dick can have his turn at your hole. unlike peter, he was rougher, immediately pounding into you because he was sex-crazed about you, couldnât stop thinking about you since day one of meeting you.
âfuck, better than iâve ever imagined,â he laughed into your mouth, kissing you sloppily, and pulling away when peterâs cock impatiently wedged himself in between the kiss, and you were back to sucking and jerking off cock againâno complaints. âstill so tight, even after peter fucked you so hardâŚâ
âitâs like he was made to be a whore, right?â such vulgar language from your best friends broke the original portrayal you had of them. now, all you could think about was how they wanted to absolutely make a wreck out of you, de-blossom your naive thoughts of what your first time shouldâve been like.
it wasnât what you had imagined. it was supposed to be with one person. a full-time commitment to your relationship. a loving pair holding each other close when they both climax. it was going to be special.
but this⌠you thought to yourself as you were fucked into the bedsheets with absolutely no mercy, your ass pained and bruised from dickâs muscular hips driving into you every time he came down, harassing you in that familiar spot again.
this was⌠peter pushed on your bottom lip with two fingers to open your mouth, then spitting in the void, some catching onto your tongue, before shoving his swollen cock inside of you again, aching to touchâto fuck.
dick palmed your cock as you writhed, bent under him, moaned around peterâs long cock. he gathered all of his strength left to tickle you deep, to reach inside of you with his cock, breathless and panting with every thrust that rocked the two of you togetherâthree, when peter fucked into your mouth.Â
this was so much fucking better.Â
âholy shit-â under dickâs touch, you came hard in several thick ropes, all over his fist, and then the sweat of your body when he opened his palm. you were a natural shooter, accidentally spraying your face with your own thick semen, and you heard peter and dick moan in unison, in awe.
seeing you dressed in cum like this had them race each other to their climax. dick fucked you harder, his grasp on your hips bruising and white, while peter held onto your head and met your throat with his cock, repeatedly forceful in strength. you gagged around him, and they only benefitted from every sound you made.
âfuck, iâm going to-â you watched peterâs abs flexed, tightened as his stomach pooled with pleasure, and you can hear the holy bells ring when he pulled out of your mouth, jerking his wet and slimy cock off until he came undone in thick spurts, all over your pretty face. not a single shot was missed, painting you in white like a canvas with every last drop.
you were still high off of your own orgasm, and you turned your head to watch dick fuck himself into you, clearly wonder-strucked by the scene before him. you were covered in cum all over. they beckoned him to join, the many loads on your body. they were begging now, a mantra of pleas pulled him closer to you, and he can smell the sex off of you, inhaled peterâs musk as well, and againâthose holy bells rang.
with the speed of lightning, dick pulled himself out of your abused hole and climbed over to kneel over your chest, fucking into his fist while simultaneously jerking his cock off over your face. to your cum-covered body, to peter kissing his spunk off your cheek and chin then your lips, to the taste of your own cum when you swiped a load off your chest and fed it into dickâs mouth. he suckled, bittersweet salt spread over his tongue, and he was ravished by the taste of you.Â
dick then pushed his hips out and aimed his cock over your lips, still connected to peterâs for a messy kiss, stroking until the only reason he tore his gaze away was because his lids fell heavy, ceased his sight to roll his eyes back, and came with a shudder. thick ropes of cum inked on your face and peterâs, but most of it fell to your connected lips.Â
âfuck, thatâs hotâŚâ dick muttered, rolling his shoulders back while he milked himself to you and peter making out, cum-stained and all. you moaned at the taste, saltier than yours and peterâs, and peter does the same while scraping a load of warm cum from the corner of your cheek and into his mouth before kissing you again, swapping the gloopy residue with a sloppy exchange of tongues.
he was envious, watching how the sticky load caught onto your lips then peterâs when he squeezed himself dry. before you and peter could take all of his cum for yourself, he leaned down to join peter for a kiss, stealing the mound of cum that peter has expertly hidden on his tongue. dick didnât know who he was tasting anymore. but whether it was you, peter, or himself, it was delectable, and he wanted to share the delightful taste with you. he spat the mixture of cum and spit inside of your mouth before webbing his lips to yours, sealing it with one final breathless kiss.
âso, are lessons still on for next week or?â peter lay by your side, and dick joined the other, still dizzied from his high as telling by his shut eyes and drawn out pants.Â
âi mean⌠iâm still up for it if you guys are?â you said, leaning over to press a kiss to peterâs cheek. you took his smile as an answer and looked to dick for his.
âmm... yeah.â dick sleepily opened his eyes, his locks stuck to his sweaty forehead while he buried himself under the blanket. you felt his arms wrap around your waist once he got comfortable, muttering a kiss to your shoulder before dozing off.Â
âweâre good teachers, pete.
nouearth. please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works. andif you like this story, please reblog and leave a like!
YOU FELL FIRST, HE FELL TOO LATE ! ft. kazuha kaedehara.
pairings. kazuha kaedehara x gender neutral! reader.
warnings. pure angst no comfort, that's it.
synopsis. âshe fell first, he fell too lateâ trope with the infamous wandering samurai Kazuha, in which he realized he loves you far too late.
notes. since im having a rough day, i decide to hurt all of you :) + angst are the only thing occupying my brain rn.
KAZUHA KAEDEHARA ! - wandering samurai.
heâs a wanted criminal in inazuma, he always travels with The Crux and coming back after a month. kazuha loves you but he simply doesnât want you to always wait for him and he doesn't wanna make you feel neglected either, so you finally giving up on him is a good sign, right?
wrong instead of feeling glad that you finally gave up on him and focus on your life he felt sick to the stomach - something about not seeing you in the docks after the crux arrive after sailing for so long makes him feel crushed.
why does it feel like it wasn't supposed to be like this? why does he craves your existence and presence? why does he longs to see you in the docks eagerly waiting for him? the answer was always clear to him.
KAZUHA had always admired you - everything about you was entrancing from your eyes, hair, hands and your facial features - you look absolutely breathtaking. something that is worth to be written in a poem - something worth to be etched in his mind.
but no matter how much he longs to embrace you, shower you with affections, press his lips against yours he knows better than be with you - most people would say he is the ideal lover if you just ignore the tittle âfugitiveâ under his name.
he simply doesn't want to make you wait till he's back only to leave again after a month and he knows that you get homesick easily - and he doesn't wanna make you feel like you're being neglected either so he just decide to downplay your confession every time even if he also feel the same.
as The Crux finally arrive back in Liyue, the first thing that KAZUHAâS crimson eyes do is search for a familiar figure - something within him felt hopeful that you will be there and meet him after sailing for so long but he only sees a few people and you weren't a part of it. you werenât there to meet him, unlike how you usually do.
panic rise up into his whole body as he hurriedly left The Crux and began searching for you, you weâre not in the docks waiting for him so where weâre you? Weâre you busy that you didnât have time to visit him? no, that canât be the case - KAZUHA knows even though you weâre busy you can still make time for him so what change now?
it didn't take long for him to jump off from the ship and immediately started looking for you, asking people if they had seen you but to no avail - no one even know about your whereabouts or do they? Praying to the seven archons above that at least one person might know about where you are.
after what felt like eternity he finally found someone who really know about where you are, relief wash over him as he went to the place where you're currently are. feeling excited about seeing you after months of sailing away but that excitement soon faded when he saw you holding hands with someone - smiling ear to ear with the man you're currently and what hurts the most is that itâs the same smile you always gave to KAZUHA and to add salt to the wound the man gave you a intimate kiss in your lips, the same lips he wished to mold into his - he wished, no, he wanted it to be just a hallucination and it was not real, maybe heâs just tired from all the traveling, right? Maybe that's it!
but no he was seeing it all oh so clearly, he should be happy now that youâre moving on from him and finally found someone who would never leave you because of his dreams of traveling the world but it didnât hurt any less to see the person he loved so dearly finally found someone - someone who isn't him.
what if he pushed those thoughts aside and just accept your love for him? what if he just didnât let his over thinking get a hold of him and his emotions would he be the one kissing you instead? the one who will hold you in his arms and pamper you with the affections and shower you with affirmations that you deserve? the one who will be sending you haikus and letters while he was away? maybe it would if he hadnât just played off your feelings and accept them early.
âMaybe I had loved you far too late..â
a soft sigh left the platinum blondeâs lips as his crimson eyes watched your figure with that man fades in his view, archons knows what will happen to the both of you - but he knows he canât change what had happened so all he could do was wished you the happiest relationship you have but at the same time he wants you to want him too. to love him instead.
âI wished you a happy relationship, my dearest but I do hope you'll.. want me soon too.â
#stashofgoodies
welcome to lati's kinktober event!
rules/about: so my kinkstober event requests will be open early, since I don't want to overwork myself during october trying to meet the daily deadlines. so i'll do my best to work on kinktober requests during my free time!
as for requesting, it's basically a first come, first serve. send in characters plus the prompts on the list, and please specifiy if you want a dom or sub reader, a female or male reader, etc.
if that certain kink has already been requested, then i'll have to turn down your request, unfortunately.
october 1 ăź rimming with diluc!
october 2 ăź spanking with thoma!
october 3 ăź body worship with xiao!
october 4 ăź cockwarming with kazuha!
october 5 ăź sexual punishment with scaramouche!
october 6 ăź overstimulation with xiao!
october 7 ăź double penetration with xiao!
october 8 ăź breeding with aether!
october 9 ăź humiliation with lisa!
october 10 ăź temperature play with kaeya!
october 11 ăź leather with kaeya!
october 12 ăź size difference with zhongli!
october 13 ăź sounding with dainsleif!
october 14 ăź handcuffs with dainsleif!
october 15 ăź tentacles with childe!
october 16 ăź creampie with childe!
october 17 ăź prostate massage with albedo!
october 18 ăź orgasm denial with albedo!
october 19 ăź massage with ayato kamisato!
october 20 ăź scissoring with ayaka kamisato!
october 21 ăź nipple play with albedo!
october 22 ăź masturbation with jean!
october 23 ăź stuck in wall with childe!
october 24 ăź sex toys with albedo!
october 25 ăź bondage with childe!
october 26 ăź sensory deprivation with xiao!
october 27 ăź pegging with scaramouche!
october 28 ăź deepthroating with thoma!
october 29 ăź facesitting with kazuha!
october 30 ăź fucking machine with scaramouche!
october 31 ăź love-making with zhongli!