Crunchywater17 - A Smile Would Do,

What to do with fallen leaves: a short story

I told my landlord if we can leave the fallen leaves on the ground, they can decompose naturally and enrich the soil. He said no and hired a gardener to remove them all with a chemical-filled leaf blower. I hate landlords. What world do we want to live in and create? Biodiversity is being lost in urban neighborhoods because of monocultural aesthetics and property values. We were taught to take pride in lawns, which are one of the most useless modern fixtures. A front yard full of native plants, weeds, and flowers could be an important home for many other species, but we decide to go with clean-cut grass monocultures, often using poison to kill any other species of planet.  I’ve been trying to prepare my garden for the next season. Since it’s my responsibility to take care of the garden, I asked my landlord if I could leave the fallen leaves on the ground so they can be beneficial for the soil. He said he didn’t like the leaves “creating a mess” on the property and the next day, when I was shopping for groceries, he hired a gardener to collect all the leaves. Using gas-powered leaf blowers produces toxic waste like fuel filters and contaminated air filters. Blowers erode, compact and dry out soil, and harm plants, microorganisms, and pollinators. All for the sake of what you see in the second photo.  So, here are some tips/education on what to do with fallen leaves in your backyard:

1.) Leave them be. Leaves are great for wildlife species like worms, moths, and tiny critters. With moths, nearly 94% of species rely on the leaf layer to complete their lifecycle. The wintertime is a prime spot for species to partake in these activities. 2.) Use them! The leaves are free mulch and fertilizer!!! Leaves form a natural mulch that helps suppress weeds and, at the same time, fertilize the soil as they break down. 3.) Move them. Most lawns fail to provide habitat for species already co-existing in ecosystems, but you can always move the leaves to another designated area in the garden. Having a relationship with other species and the seasons invites us to contemplate natural cycles, like life and death. Anyways, even though it’s not my house, I still get sad at how hostile we are towards other life and how little control I have over my garden as a tenant.  Source: National Wildlife Federation -queerbrownvegan

This weekend I was told a story which, although I’m kind of ashamed to admit it, because holy shit is it ever obvious, is kind of blowing my mind.

A friend of a friend won a free consultation with Clinton Kelly of What Not To Wear, and she was very excited, because she has a plus-size body, and wanted some tips on how to make the most of her wardrobe in a fashion culture which deliberately puts her body at a disadvantage.

Her first question for him was this: how do celebrities make a plain white t-shirt and a pair of weekend jeans look chic?  She always assumed it was because so many celebrities have, by nature or by design, very slender frames, and because they can afford very expensive clothing.  But when she watched What Not To Wear, she noticed that women of all sizes ended up in cute clothes that really fit their bodies and looked great.  She had tried to apply some guidelines from the show into her own wardrobe, but with only mixed success.  So - what gives?

His answer was that everything you will ever see on a celebrity’s body, including their outfits when they’re out and about and they just get caught by a paparazzo, has been tailored, and the same goes for everything on What Not To Wear.  Jeans, blazers, dresses - everything right down to plain t-shirts and camisoles.  He pointed out that historically, up until the last few generations, the vast majority of people either made their own clothing or had their clothing made by tailors and seamstresses.  You had your clothing made to accommodate the measurements of your individual body, and then you moved the fuck on.  Nothing on the show or in People magazine is off the rack and unaltered.  He said that what they do is ignore the actual size numbers on the tags, find something that fits an individual’s widest place, and then have it completely altered to fit.  That’s how celebrities have jeans that magically fit them all over, and the rest of us chumps can’t ever find a pair that doesn’t gape here or ride up or slouch down or have about four yards of extra fabric here and there.

I knew that having dresses and blazers altered was probably something they were doing, but to me, having alterations done generally means having my jeans hemmed and then simply living with the fact that I will always be adjusting my clothing while I’m wearing it because I have curves from here to ya-ya, some things don’t fit right, and the world is just unfair that way.  I didn’t think that having everything tailored was something that people did. 

It’s so obvious, I can’t believe I didn’t know this.  But no one ever told me.  I was told about bikini season and dieting and targeting your “problem areas” and avoiding horizontal stripes.  No one told me that Jennifer Aniston is out there wearing a bigger size of Ralph Lauren t-shirt and having it altered to fit her.

I sat there after I was told this story, and I really thought about how hard I have worked not to care about the number or the letter on the tag of my clothes, how hard I have tried to just love my body the way it is, and where I’ve succeeded and failed.  I thought about all the times I’ve stood in a fitting room and stared up at the lights and bit my lip so hard it bled, just to keep myself from crying about how nothing fits the way it’s supposed to.  No one told me that it wasn’t supposed to.  I guess I just didn’t know.  I was too busy thinking that I was the one that didn’t fit.

I thought about that, and about all the other girls and women out there whose proportions are “wrong,” who can’t find a good pair of work trousers, who can’t fill a sweater, who feel excluded and freakish and sad and frustrated because they have to go up a size, when really the size doesn’t mean anything and it never, ever did, and this is just another bullshit thing thrown in your path to make you feel shitty about yourself.

I thought about all of that, and then I thought that in elementary school, there should be a class for girls where they sit you down and tell you this stuff before you waste years of your life feeling like someone put you together wrong.

So, I have to take that and sit with it for a while.  But in the meantime, I thought perhaps I should post this, because maybe my friend, her friend, and I are the only clueless people who did not realise this, but maybe we’re not.  Maybe some of you have tried to embrace the arbitrary size you are, but still couldn’t find a cute pair of jeans, and didn’t know why.

It’s my opinion that like if a white supremacist/Nazi is going to be reformed. They need to do so willingly. The only times I’ve heard of successful rehabilitation of fascists is when they made the conscious decision to no longer be one anymore and seek atonement. People who try to like hug and change fascists that don’t want to change are fucking morons

Please for the love of God watch DIARY OF A FUTURE PRESIDENT on Disney+

If you're looking for a diverse cast and queer representation this is the show for you. It currently has 2 seasons and needs your views to get a 3rd. And we NEED a third because there's so many cliffhangers and I'll die if I don't have conclusions.

If you liked One Day At A Time, Boy Meets World, Girl Meets World, Andi Mack, and even High School Musical The Musical The Series you'll love this show!

So here's why you should watch the show:

1) The main character is a young Latina girl named Elena. She is strong, intelligent, and highly independent with big dreams and goals. She wants to be President of the United States, which she achieves in the future and the show shows how she gets there. She's a great role model character for young girls because she's very goal driven, passionate, and ambitious but she's not perfect. She messes up sometimes and makes mistakes, but she bounces back every single time. She's just the kind of leading lady that yound tv needs right now.

2) Bobby is officially my all time favorite gay character. When you first meet him he's the typical cool older brother who is captain of his tennis team and likes a girl. But after some self reflection while having a girlfriend he realizes that he may like his new guy friend more than his girlfriend. Disney FINALLY has a show that accurately shows the struggles of discovering your sexuality and finding the courage to own it, accept it, love it, and come out to those you love about it. Bobby's journey of discovering his sexuality has been so beautifully done, the writers really just NAILED it. And to top it off we get an ACTUAL coming out where he actually says the words "I'm gay". Disney is getting brave and we love to see it!

3) And there's MULTIPLE queer people in this show. From the mom's best friend and her girlfriend, to the mom's co-worker, to Elena's classmate having two moms. There's so much representation to show that queer people exsist in everyone's day to day lives and its NORMAL.

4) The show does such a good job of representing a latinx family as well as including other cultures

4) The mom, Gabby, starts dating a coworker, Sam. She hasn't dated anyone since losing her husband a few years ago. Its an adjustment for her and the kids, who aren't the most accepting from the start. They show the struggles of one of your parents dating someone new and does a great job showing how hard it can be to accept but ultimately how great it could work out in the end.

5) The show isn't scared to talk about a bunch of different, important, topics. From friendships ending, to what it means to work in politics, to liking boys, to not judging people based off rumors or appearances, to the consequences of trying to grow up too fast, and so much more.

So please, GO WATCH THE SHOW! It's the exact kind of show that needs to be on tv right now. From the diverse cast, to the accurate queer representation, to the important topics they touch on with no fear. This show deserves a season 3, and hopefully more seasons after that!

now that it's actually IWD...

Happy International Women's Day to:

women of color, lesbians, ace and aro girls, trans women, bi and pan girls, disabled and neurodivergent women, Jewish and Muslim women, women who fight for equality and their right to be heard, women who are driven, women who are career-oriented, girlbosses, women who want children and women who don't, mothers, women who get called "bossy" and "shrill," polyamorous women, women with multiple partners, young girls who are figuring out their place in the world, women who are sex workers, women who have survived abuse and women who didn't, autistic women, gnc women, women who get talked over, women who are told that their thoughts don't matter, fat girls and skinny girls, women who have had an abortion, women of low-income, women who are homeless, women with big noses, women with acne or a skin condition, women who work in STEM, unconventionally beautiful women, women who have depression or anxiety, women who rely on aids, deaf and blind women, women who have intrusive thoughts, women coping with PTSD, and women with chronic illness.

we are beautiful, and we are strong. but we are stronger together. Happy International Women's Day.

Happy Indigenous Peoples Day, October 10, 2022

STOP ASIAN HATE

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Yall stay safe and that includes from yourself.

I know things are tough and you feel like you cant go on but please keep fighting. I believe in you and i cant wait for you too see yourself the way i see yall.

I love yall stay safe please.