Has It Been A Hot Minute Since You Took A Shit?

An interesting thing to realize about internet transmisogynists who post pictures of trans women they don’t find attractive as “proof” that we as a community are deserving of mockery and mistreatment is that the actual ethical framework operating under this basic bitch internet nastiness is “I don’t think that people I don’t find sexually attractive and fuckable deserve human rights, I think your access to human rights should correlate to how much I want to bump my genitals with yours” and if you think about it, it doesn’t get any more deranged and creepy than that, it’s like taking the attitude of a nasty high school bully and making it into your adult political-ethical framework without realizing how much it fundamentally speaks to the fact you’re a deranged creep.

I felt that

one of the most influential things i’ve learned in dbt is to change “but” into “and.” so instead of saying, “i know you feel that way, but i feel this way,” try saying, “i know you feel that way, and i feel this way.” by doing that, you are validating the other person’s opinions and emotions as well as viewing them as an equal.

me, eating a maximum 500-700 calories a day, when the superskinny on supersize vs super skinny apparently eating 1100 calories a day and the voiceover woman says that’s less calories than a toddler needs:

🔥☀️🌱/☁️✨☁️/💨🌧💦

windowsgender stimboard

Violence moodboard

I need to get out of this binge mindset fast. I'm currently off school for the week and usually I use that as excuse to pig out because "I need to eat because my parents will get suspicious". Well, not this time. I've been regularly binging for most of February and I'm doing a hard reset to get out of it.

What that means;

No weighing myself for three days. Every time I do a hard reset I refuse to weigh myself because it only makes it worse. Whether those numbers are good or bad I will somehow find a way to use it as an excuse to binge so really it's easier to hold off.

No snacks. I'm gonna engage every coping mechanism I can and go cold turkey on snacks for this week.

No chocolate bars/ice cream/dessert. I've done this before and it went fine so I can do it again.

No eating at all unless I have to. If my parents are forcing me to stay down and have dinner with them then fine, but when I'm home alone and suddenly decide I should make a sandwich and brownies and whatever fucking else, I need to stop myself.

Slowly start exercising again. If I'm fasting a lot I don't have to do much but I need to get back into a sustainable routine, which means at least 10 minutes a day.

NO LIQUID CALORIES. That means coffee with sugar, hot chocolate and alcohol. If I do I'll be consuming liquid calories (since I know I'm going out to a party where there will be drinks and I refuse to be left out) I won't eat all morning and will have only light snacks at night to stop me from getting sick.

Stay busy!! I've been spending a lot of time lying on my bed watch It's always sunny on Netflix. Instead I'll put my tablet where I can see it or cast it to my TV and watch it while cleaning my room. It burns calories and stops me from thinking about food.

Set up some sort of skin care routine cause my acne hasn't been this bad since I was 14 and I need to get it under control. This one isn't really ed related but I think my acne is partially caused by all the shit I've been eating, plus self care helps me stay on track.

Set up my plan for March. Yeah every month I go "this is gonna be my month" and it never is but I really think March will be different because I'm gonna set up a concrete plan. Rather than just going "urgh I won't binge this month" or "I'll start exercising this month" I'm actively writing down safe food lists, coping mechanisms to stop me binging, my favourite quick workouts, motivational messages, ANYTHING I can that will help me. I'm gonna do that 30 day thinspo challenge. I'm gonna set reminders to update my journals. I'm gonna get myself back together. Around march time last year was when I first got into this mess and when I first started dropping weight. So this March, I'm getting back into it. I'm fixing this mess.

These are just my rules for the next 5-7 days while I try and get myself back together. Of course some stuff like my skin care and exercise will stick but once I get back to school the eating rules will have to change and of course I've gotta start weighing again eventually cause my body dismorphia means I can see NO progress by looking in a mirror so matter how many times my mum says my weight loss is obvious. But following these should help me fix myself up for the rest of February. And I don't expect March to go smoothly either; like I said, I think every month will be "my month" and it's not. But if March can be just a bit better than February and April can be a bit better than that, then in a couple months I'll be back to smooth sailing. By next year I'll have made real progress.

these are some reasons why your weight might have spiked up overnight:

✔ you upped your sodium intake so now your body is holding onto water ✔ you ate more carbs than usual so now they are acting like sponges and holding onto water ✔ you exercised (especially strength training with weights) and now your muscles are repairing themselves to grow by holding onto more nutrients  ✔ you ate later than usual the night before so the stomach is still digesting the food ✔ you weighted yourself earlier than usual so the stomach had less time to digest food ✔ you haven’t pooped yet ✔ your body is stressed (for example by eating too few calories) and so it’s holding onto water as a defense mechanism

these are not:

✖ you went over your limit by a few hundreds kcal ✖ you ate carbs/fats/fear foods ✖ you are a failure ✖ your ed/obsession/coping mechanism is not real or valid give it another day or two and everything will be back to normal. 

take a deep breath. 

everything is fine. 

i promise. and if you are still not convinced there are so many people out here myself included that can reassure you again and again about it.

Reblog if you’ve binged within the last five days.

I want to show everyone that you aren’t alone; others do it, too. It happens, you aren’t a ‘failure’ for binging.