Oh? You Like The Batfam? So, Are You Queer, Neurodivergent, Mentally Ill, Or All Three?

Oh? You like the batfam? So, are you queer, neurodivergent, mentally ill, or all three?

Ok but fr, the amount of batfam fans I know that are at least one of the above, and often all, just goes to show how much this messed up family resonates with people like us.

Queer people adore the concept of found family because we are so often rejected by our blood family. The concept of superheroes is inherently queer, and especially trans. Having a secret name only a few trusted people know? Having an entire community of people just like you that you can't tell the people in your every day life about? Leading two entirely separate lives with only a handful of people who know both sides of you? Queer.

The batfam especially is found family, because only a few members are related by blood (Bruce and Damian). The far majority of them is either adopted (the Wayne kids) or very very close to the rest of them to the point they're considered family (Alfred, Steph, Barbara, etc). Most DC families are blood families, so it makes sense that queer people gravitate towards the batfam. (Queer people love adopting each other. Looking at all my friend-sibs.)

Multiple batfam members are neurodivergent coded (Bruce especially), although unintentionally so, and they're all severely mentally ill/traumatized. We look at these characters and think, yes, you are like me, I understand you.

A lot of traumatized people project on the batkids, because, well, it's kind of a wish fulfilment to have an adult come save you when you're at your lowest, huh?

(Also why I suspect so many people project onto Tim specifically, because his trauma is the easiest to relate to. Most people don't grow up as assasins, or have their parents murdered.)

(And also why I think there is so much batfam fan content. We saw these characters who are so much like us being mistreated in their source material and decided to take them in as our own and give them better lives, the same way we long to do with ourselves.)

Besides, a big part of fandom in general is made up of nd ppl. We tend to hyperfixate on stuff and produce a fuckton of content cause this is the only thing we can think about. It's only logical that there are so many of us in the batfam fandom/larger DC fandom.

There wasn't really any point to this, just... we looked at this broken, messed up family, saw ourselves, and called it our own. I don't know, I just think that's pretty meaningful.

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Re: comics, familial love, and abusive parents

Occasionally I still see the back and forth arguments over if Jack Drake is abusive or not, and I am not here to create an itemized list of all the times Jack Drake is a piece of shit. However, arguments against Jack Drake being a piece of shit usually boil down to: but he loves Tim. 

And I am not even here to talk about how loving your child does not excuse you from abusing them nor is it a defense against being an abusive parent. 

Rather what I wanted to do was demonstrate that complex parental relationships were a theme of comics aimed at teens during the 90s and early 2000s. Particularly involving parental love from child abusers. 

The most extreme example of this is David Cain. 

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[Batgirl 59] 

I don’t think there’s anyone out here ready to throw down defending David Cain. He literally coerced a woman into having his child and then horribly abused that child to turn her into his “perfect assassin.” Mental abuse, physical abuse, denying her basic skills like speech… this man is the whole Abusive Dad package. 

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[Batman 567]

Despite this, David is routinely depicted as deeply loving his daughter, even as early as No Man’s Land when Cassandra was first being introduced. This would be the depiction of the two one would look back on when asking “is this in character?” 

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[Batgirl 22]  They’re shown to have genuinely sweet moments together back when Cassandra was a child and it’s plenty clear David loves her despite being a complete and utter fucking bastard who treated her like she was less than subhuman. 

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[Robin 107] 

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[Robin 111]

This is part of why Cassandra and Stephanie Brown are such close friends. Stephanie’s father is ALSO an abusive asshole who left behind a complicated jumble of emotions for Stephanie who, while she states she never loved him, is uncertain if he ever loved her, given that she isn’t sure she really ever knew what kind of man Arthur Brown really was. 

In the example above, Steph tells Tim a story in which her father is heavily implied to have murdered his friend, Jim Murray, who had attempted to molest Stephanie when she was 11. Arthur Brown is irrevocably a shit bag, but the story intentionally leaves the audience questioning whether or not he killed Murray out of love for Stephanie or out of pride for himself. 

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[Young Justice 18]

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[Young Justice 25]

I think another example people maybe won’t remember is Cissie King-Jones and her mother Bonnie. This is a much less extreme example more in line with Tim’s experience with his father. It’s played straight and to the point, typical of the more grounded down-to-earth problems you find in the early Young Justice run alongside the fantastical elements. Bonnie is basically a stage mom, and her abusive behavior towards Cissie is often fueled by a desire to do what she thinks is best for her daughter, a fairly typical way average parents fall into patterns of abuse, particularly Bonnie’s brand of vicariously living through her child. “I love you, I’m doing this for your own good” ends up masking the very selfish intentions. 

And then there’s Jack Drake. 

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[Nightwing 20] 

Jack Drake loves his son. Jack Drake worries about Tim, cares about Tim, and wants Tim to be happy. 

He’s also an abusive shit bag, and the comics know it. 

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[Batman 480] 

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[Robin III: Cry of the Huntress 4]

From basically the inception of these two characters having a tangible dynamic in the comics, Tim is clear that Jack is neglectful.

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[Robin 45] 

He also has a giant volatile temper, leading to emotional abusive and even strays into pre-battery physical abuse territory.

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[Robin 72] 

It’s clear Jack loves Tim. But it’s also clear David Cain loves Cassandra, and Bonnie King-Jones loves Cissie. And they are aaaaaaaaaaaaall selfish and abusive in their own way.

The running theme of this era of comics aimed at a younger demographic is that parental relationships can be messy, and sometimes love isn’t enough. Sometimes the people who love us, and the people we love, are also the people hurting us. 

I think it’s important to remember that. 


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comicgirl12 - More or less DC Universe
More or less DC Universe

Hi I'm J also known as chaos incarnate and am probably immortal

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