This Happened When I Ran Age Of Ashes Too. She Got A Great Scene Showing Up To Help In The Sixth Book.

Thinking about Writing

I don't know how many people are actually reading this dumb lizard story, but I'm having fun writing it, improv-ing it one day at a time. I already know the main beat of Chapter 3: How Li'l Jevoi Met the Shadow Queen.

WLC 6.3: Clueless

"I assume ya've checked with the few dwarves in town already?" asks Ling, pulling a pair of chairs out of the ground.

"Yeah," says Tanglepork, "None of them were hiring kobold kids for anything." She sits down. "So, it doesn't help."

"It does," says Ling, "At minimum, this dwarf comes near town every couple days. Likely lives nearby."

"That could still mean anything," says Tanglepork, annoyed, "Woodsman, hunter, bandit, merchant."

"So who'd hire a pair of schoolgirls?" asks Ling, "And for what?"

"Why are you so focused on this one?"

"If we know where this dwarf is, then we have a direction to start looking," says Ling, rubbing her temples, "Those two are the only clue ya've given me."

"We can't even confirm if this dwarf is real, Ling," says the deputy, shaking her head, "We've narrowed it down to only one possibility: the kids walked out of town. No magic residue, no un-alibi-ed adults, no signs of violence, nothing."

A: What's the point of this? If the wolf was killing kids, just say that. L: Who said she did? J: The story of us meeting on an eldritch cruise started with me doing a drug deal in the woods; give her a chance to set this up right.

"So why'ren't ya searching the bush then," asks Ling, "Why is the most secure exit being blamed? Something magical obvy happened to those kids, we just need to find where."

"We've already asked all of the parents," says Tanglepork as she sets her notes aside, "And none of the other kids are saying anything either. The only thing we could do is search blindly."

The two sit in silence for a moment.

"What if the culprit came to us?" asks Ling. As Tanglepork's eyebrow raises, Ling asks, "Any other kids leave town on the regular?"

"Tanglepork flips through her notes. "There's a little lycan who visits her grandmother every week," she says, "But we've told her parents not to let her while we're investigating."

J: Why would the sheriff bother if you're being blamed? L: Because if she went missing in the woods, that would mean... J: Understood, not the Underdank. Town would force the sheriff's hand. L: Town would've the sheriff's head.

"Does Nana Lycan know?"

"...no..."

"Then I've an idea."

WLC 6.B: And They Were Broom-Mates

As Ling approaches the metal windmill, the ground under it groans and shifts. A chunk of land rises up, revealing a crude staircase.

"If anyone is still alive up there," demands a young woman's voice from the dark, climbing upward, "Identify yourself."

"A passing wizard," says Ling, "Who's asking?"

"I am the Gr- hold on, give me a second," says the voice, hurrying up the stairs. As she reaches the surface, she announces, "I am the Great Witch Zingiber, Herald of Calamity."

Zingiber is a tan elven woman, barely a few centuries old, with fluffy red hair. She wears an extremely dark red cloak. Her ruby earrings are so large that the bend her long pointy ears (as they are hooked into the tips). She posed dramatically when she emerged and sneaks a look with one eye to see what reaction she garnered.

"By the Gods," says Zingiber, dropping the pose into one of exaggerated shock, "You're Dr. Ling, creator of Tendon Tearer! It's such an honour!"

L: It was a nice feeling being identified for magic for once. Wish it had been my food magic...

"Ripper, my rep precedes," says Ling, "Sorry 'bout ya're spell minefield, but I couldn't give ya a bell."

"Don't worry about that," says Zingiber. She turn around and waves for Ling to follow, "Come in, please." She giddily kicks about before squealing and charging in.

Into the darkness, Ling descends. Her orb's shine guides her until a distant glimmer sparks into view. This staircase must reach into the Underdank. If that's the case, then the sheriff was half-right.

The room at the bottom is bare, lit by the single smokeless torch hanging on the wall. A large metal door stands in the far wall inscribed with runes.

"Apple crumble and filch," says Zingiber to which the door opens. "Let me show you around."

The cavern was carved in an uneven yet cubic way, a chaotic and artificial mess. The dark stone lit by yet more smokeless torches and splattered with dried blood. An arrangement of mini mesas form a set of table and chairs with small cushions set upon them.

L: The room was a tripping hazard deathtrap. One wrong step and there's a pointy corner in your face.

"This is our main room- oh, I NEED to introduce you to the rest of the coven!" Zingiber turns down a corridor and yells, "Gudrun! You'll never guess who's here!"

"This better be good, or they better be dead," grumbles a distinctly dwarven voice from down the way.

Stepping into the room in an extremely dark green variant of Zingiber's witchy robe is a brooding pale middle-aged dwarven woman. Her hair, beard, and overdone eye shadow are as black as the stairwell Ling just crawled down. Both her long hair and beard run through simple sapphire bands.

"Why'd ya let a stranger into our lair?" asks Gudrun, "What part of secret is escaping yer erratic brain?"

"But this is Dr. Ling," whines Zingiber, "The genius that created all those body horror spells I've been practicing. She's my inspiration."

"So, ya're the lovely partner to this little psycho?" asks Ling, "Where's the third?"

L: Not a fan of being labeled a body horror wizard.

J: Then stop making new body horror spells.

L: Those are my "stop trying to kill me" spells; ya have to keep making new ones or your enemies will learn how to counter ya. Anyhow, I knew I had to distract these two to search the place.

"Elsewhere," says Gudrun, "How'd ya guess?"

"All covens have at least three witches," says Ling, "But I guess I can be your third 'til morning." Ling licks her eyeballs.

Zingiber squeals again, but Gudrun seems hesitant.

"One of my idols wants my body," she says to no one specifically. She swiftly spots Gudrun's face and falls to her knees before her. "Please, please, please, please-please, pleeeeeeeeease. We HAVE to."

Gudrun shakes her head, "We shouldn't. Not without her."

"Well, if she wants to be an equal part of this relationship then maybe she should be living with us instead of leaving us alone."

"Fair," says Gudrun, "Alright, lizard, hope ya're better than my ex-hub."

"I'll get the honey and the chaaaains!" says Zingiber darting off.

"Wait," says Ling, casting a spell on the elf. The confirmation sign appears over her head. "Carry on." She turns to the dwarf, "So, ya and this one, huh?"

"Ma always said not to stick yer tongue in crazy," says Gudrun, "But what Ma don't know won't kill her."

"Strewth."

WLC 3.8: Children with Knives

J: Let's not forget whose story this is.

The training room is much larger than Jevoi had been expecting. Numerous training targets of various sizes stand around the spacious chamber. Along the walls, several weapons (swords, axes, polearms) are kept sorted in stands. A few grindstones sit next to shelves of materials and a small forge in the corner.

Jevoi's eyes dart across the room; scanning the weapons, she finds her target: knives, daggers. Little blades that can fit in little hands. Her hands. She rushes to them and begins testing their handles. Forward, backward, reverse-grip. She has to find one that fits.

"Oh, ya're into this," says Gank with a smile, "Anything clicking?"

Jevoi stops, holding one sleek dagger in her hand. "YES," she exhales, swinging the runic blade a few times, listening to it sing as it cuts through the air, "Perfect."

"D'ya think?" asks Gank, she points to a humanoid dummy, "Go on, then. Give it a whirl."

The little gecko walks around the dummy and slices at it. The blade cleanly cuts through its soft plant-like material. Jevoi coos at the damage, but the gasps in realization.

"Don't worry," says Gank, as the dummy stitches itself back together, "Nobody'll see nothing."

Jevoi licks her eyes and stabs the dummy as many times as she can, as fast as she can. She twists the blade and begins slashing wildly into it, desperate to outpace the regeneration.

"Okay, slow down," laughs Gank as she walks up to another one, "Let me ya how the big girls do it!" Gank unfurls her claws dramatically and swipes at the dummy in a practiced concert of blows. Her four arms tear, rip, and shred it that it flops about as if it were alive. She throws in a few twirling slashes and kicks as well.

"That's not fair," says Jevoi, "You've got four arms."

"Sorry," says Gank, her tongue hanging from her mouth, "But that's why I'm a warrior and ya're just a rogue."

"Oh yeah?" says Jevoi, running back to the daggers, "I'll show you." She grabs another and racing toward another dummy.

Gank's slit eyes widen. "Woah, kid, wait, no," she steps in front of Jevoi, "If ya get hurt, I'm getting in trouble. Put that one back."

"You don't get to call me a kid," says Jevoi, she looks at her weapons, then up at Gank, "Try and take them!"

L: Trouble from day one.

The developing rational part of Gank's brain attempts to conjure a means of handling this situation. Unfortunately, the emotional threat to her ego prevents the teenager from having any ideas more complicated than, 'Take them.' Some may also claim that her species, hard-wired for a short life of constant violence, may also be a factor in this spur-of-the-moment decision, but that hypothesis's largely irrelevant when faced with the far more accepted theory:

L: Kids are so f*****g stupid.

Gank suddenly lunges at Jevoi, who reflexively holds the blades in front of her. Gank grabs onto Jevoi's wrists, but the gecko squirms and the weapons come dangerously close to the charda's face.

"Let go!" yells Gank.

"Make me!" yells Jevoi. She kicks Gank in the groin. Both girls gasp in pain and Jevoi almost loses balance.

"Why would'ya do that?" says Gank, she then kicks Jevoi right back, "How d'ya like it?"

Jevoi emits a long squeak, but continues struggling to pull her hands out of Gank's claws. Blood begins dripping down both of their arms.

Gank bends her empty hands inward and uses the back of her wrists to slap Jevoi's face and punch her in the gut. "LET!" Hit. "GO!" Slap. "OF!" Knee. "THE!" Clunk. "KNIVES!" Punch.

"Noooo," squeals Jevoi weakly. One blade hits the floor, but she her grip on the other. She shoves her bloody hand into Gank's face, feebly slapping her. "Let me go."

The last thing Jevoi hears before passing out is Gank's desperate voice repeating, "Oh s***e!"

WLC 2.C: DistrAction

The two duos, one metal-clad, the other leather, approach each other across the black sand.

L: By the way, they are Gish and her brother, Gash. They never told me their names; Melandria did.

D: Spoiler.

L: What? You should already know I talk to her; that's the whole point of the story!

"Why are you out here?" asks Gish.

"Where do you think you are?" asks Gash.

"Both questies: we're lost in the Underdank," says Ling, she gestures for Kalyani to answer.

"Quite," says the priestess, "If you could point uss in the directshion of the nearesst town, we'd apprecciate it."

"That symbol," says Gash, "That eyeball you're wearing... What manner of follower are you?"

"Do you know it, brother?" asks Gish. She reaches for her sword, but before she draws it, Gash answers.

"That's the Love God's Eye," he says, "So how do you serve her?"

"Oh, you know her?" asks Kalyani, fluttering her eyes. She slithers toward Gash. "Are you a follower too?"

"Brother," Gish voices tings with annoyance.

"Let him have some fun, mate," says Ling, scampering up to Gish, "Yous two alone out here?"

J: I should have known. You're a wizard, Mum; don't you have stories about succeeding through... you know, wizardry?

L: Magic isn't the only answer to problems, Jevoi.

"No, we-" Gish cuts herself off, "Why are you really here? What do you think you're doing?"

"What do you want me to do?" asks Ling, still sauntering forward. Lacking the ability to flutter, she quickly licks her eyes instead. At the moment, she has no idea where this will lead, but it is succeeding as a distraction.

Gish takes a step backward. Out of the corner of her eye, she spots Kalyani encircling Gash.

"Perhapss, we've not been honesst," whispers Kalyani, "The Goddesss ssent uss."

"Somebody needs our help," says Ling, "Is it ya?" Ling gets up to Gish's faceplate. "A big strong woman like you shouldn't be alone."

"I- I'm not," says Gish, "My brother and I-"

"Brother doesn't count, mate," says Ling, now fully confident, "Let's see those eyes of yours." Ling places her hands on Gish's helmet, who does not resist. Ling carefully remove it and looks upon Gish's battle-scarred tallgoblin face. "Looks like ya had some bark taken off, eh?" Ling gently traces her claw down the diagonal scars; they clearly came from a claw attack.

Gish face contorts. "Would- would you like to see," she says, struggling to keep her strong warrior demeanor, "My other ones?"

"I'd love to," says Ling.

L: Long story short: they let us into the tower and we kept them distracted for a bit.

WLC 3.6: A Mother's Rage

Outside of the tower, the spellcasters continue to hold off the undead tide.

"Don't you have anything more offensive, Ling?" asks Oighrig, still floating, still maintaining a barrier above, and now gesturing to have her storm spider rain acid spiders onto the mass.

L: What she was attempting to do was have her acid react to the basic bile of some of the worms, but basic worm bile was pretty rare.

"Sorry," says Ling, sarcasm dripping from the word, "I was told to prepare for an ecological disaster, NOT AN UNDEAD ABOMY!"

Melandria winces, "I mean, it's both of those things..."

"Would have been great to know before I brought my daughter down here," yells Ling, conjuring a giant lemon inside of the wormsworn, "Thought it was just going to be some sick plants or the mold flood came back, but no, it's zombie wormageddon." The lemon explodes. "And then ya've got the nerve to talk about my mum."

"What is wrong with your daughter wanting to know her grandmother?" asks Melandria, her shadow arms fling several worms on the ground into the air.

"My mum's a f******g assassin, Mel," says Ling. She slaps the earth and the worms attempting to burrow under the teeth wall turn to solid stone. "She has killed a s***eton of people. Why do think she moved from the surface?"

"Is this really the right time for this?" ask Oighrig, as she and her storm spider launch bolts of lightning into the airborne worms.

"The sun'll go cold before I let my daughter go down that path!" says Ling.

L: Didn't mean that literally, but good work making it true, Jevoi. Guess I can't stop ya from living your dream now. J: At this point, assassin is a step down, but thanks so much for your permission, Mum.

"I am almost out of things to throw at this," says Oighrig, conjuring a web to trap more worms attempting to burrow.

"Mel, don't ya have another Dark Hole?" asks Ling, conjuring a phantom chef that slices, dices, and juliennes several worms.

"I'm running on empty now, too, Ling," says Melandria, her shadow arms skewering worms onto adamantine spears, "Killing the previous ones took too much out of me."

"How many of these things have you fought today!?"

"This is the fifth," says Oighrig, continuing to order her storm spider's blitz.

"Why did ya wait this late to call me?"

"I thought we could handle this," says Melandria, her shadow arms grabbing and tearing the worms open, "I wasn't expecting it to be this incessant."

"I'ma kick your sexy a**e, Mel!" yells Ling, "If it's not dead the third time ya kill it, it's not staying dead!" Gravity reverses for a group of worms and they are brought helplessly up to the phantom chef's cutting zone. "I'm going to make ya watch me destroy Oighrig."

"What did I do?" asks Oighrig, almost taking her eyes off her spider.

"No, positively!" says Ling, "Ya're doing lovely! Keep not-f*****g-up!"

"Boss, we've got the salt!" says Gish and Gash, hauling a large bag on a makeshift trolley.

"Gash, I'ma kick your a**e, too!" says Ling, pulling a book out of pouch, "I gave you one b****y job, you b******d!" She has the book turn itself to the right page. "F**k it, Gish, help your idiot brother make a salt circle around the entire cave."

"The entire cave?" asks Gish, "You cannot be serious."

"Ya heard me!" says Ling, inducing a relative increase in speed to the group, "We need to sanctify this entire place."

Execution

In the first game, surrender leaves you open to attack and ends the fight after a set time, but in the sequel, it's a cutscene.

Here's that bloodstained versus Mikado accepting her fate.

And so, the bandaged story Mikado cannot outlive herself.

This location, by the way, is a story scene exclusive: outside the Tatara Shrine. (Not the Tatara Shrine Path stage.) You normally cannot fight here.

WLC 2.F: Quest Complete

Ling follows Melandria through the dark and hollow castle. "So new idea: the sand outside is hot, so maybe we can try to create geothermal plants. I'll need to bring water, unless ya know of any sources down here."

Melandria shakes her head. "Just using magic. That's not dangerous, is it? Like the food?"

"Standard create water spells just convert vapor into liquid, safe to drink." Ling's eye light up. "A gate to the the Plane of Water! That's what we could use."

J: You were just filled with fantastic ideas, weren't you, Mum? L: Seems like it runs in the family.

As the two climb the stairs, Melandria asks, "Aren't elementals... extremely territorial?"

"Don't worry 'bout that," laughs Ling, "I know a girl." Ling straightens up. "The real probo is how the wildlife'll be affected. We'd need to raise natural defenses alongside anything we're growing." Ling thinks for a moment. "Thrashing worm-eaters might be a good deterrent."

"Giant worms do pass through this desert," Melandria nods. She leads Ling into a corridor. "We'll have to give this more thought. First, let's get everyone together."

Melandria knocks on a door. "Kirono, are you awake?" There is no answer. "Kirono, are you feeling well?"

L: Since I wasn't sure if Maraja had left already, I decided to use my wizardly cunning.

Ling stumbles into the door, pushing it open. "Oops, sorry, mate," she says, "I'm a clumsy b******d." Her eyes spy two figures lying in the bed. She recognizes one of them. "Good onya, Maraja!" she says too loudly, "I knew ya'd root her out."

"Who is that?" shouted the Shadow Queen, the darkness around her agitating, "Why is she in my house!?" Her fury awakening the duo.

L: I calmed her down and we sorted the details out for the plan later, but that's a yarn for another time. D: So Maraja and Kirono got together and you started a farm with a queen? J: Yes, yes, everyone lived happily ever after. The End. Now, how about I tell you a story, Dalini: a story about how I met the Shadow Queen. D: But what happened to the priestess and the tallgoblins. L: Kalyani went back home- J: And the tallgoblins are in my story.

WLC 2.6-1: Flashback Within a Flashback

"Is this the way into the Underdank?" asks a tall, lanky knight in shining armor. Her voice is a shrill whisper, but upbeat. The green spiral symbol on her shield marks her as a follower of Freegh, the Goddess of Life.

Bobbobo the guard's eyes shift back into focus. At a glance, he may have mistaken her for a tallgoblin, but her large hooked nose and long skinny neck weren't like anyone he'd seen before. Her legs are more cat than goblin, too. Perhaps that is why he hadn't heard her approach. These thoughts occupy his mind for barely a second before he discards them. "Yes," he says, back to business, "Reason for leaving?"

M: She has a striking figure. She's as beautiful as she is kind. But she has a nasty habit of sneaking off, vanishing into darkness.

"I've been tasked with locating the Shadow Queen," says the knight, pumping her fist, "This is the closest entrance to her fortress... I think."

"Time to return, knight?" asks Bobbobo.

"I... hadn't thought about... that?" The knight turns around. "Do I need to know that?"

"No."

YL: Wait, I may have seen your mate.

M: You saw her? You met Kirono?

K: I thhink I did, too. Jusst briefly.

YL: Last week, yeah? Kee-RAW-naw? Cute name.

Before Kirono can speak, a bell rings out from within the dome behind the guard. He claps the fingers of his right hand against its palm, then slaps the dome. The magic barrier become translucent revealing the entrance to the Underdank. "Welcome back, Ling." He does not turn to face the gecko climbing out of the hole.

"G'day, Bob," says Ling, who looks up to the knight, "And ya too, sheila. Love to chat, but I've work to do." She races into the nearby building.

Kirono bends her neck ninety degrees and peers into the hole. She whistles. "That's... not the angle I was expecting."

"Four hundred metres straight down," recites Bobbobo, "The Township of Rankedge 'olds no responsibility for your safety. It is advised not to enter the Underdank." He eyes Kirono without turning his head. "Especially alone."

"I'll be fine," says Kirono, proudly, "I'm a wayang, I was born down there."

"Be careful down there," says Bobbobo.

Seeing the guards apathy, Kirono hesitates. "Maaaaaybe I should tell someone where I'm going first," she says, "Where's the... post office?"

M: I received a letter from her five days ago and- Oh, the ground. Thank you, both of you.

YL: No worries, mate.

K: Now, where shhould we sstart looking, dear?

WLC 5.D: Too Cool for Pool

The pool of the ship is a happening place. The fake sun hanging like a disco ball shines loving warm rays all around. There are couples and crowds swimming, relaxing, and playing pool volleyball with a demilich sealed in a magic bubble. (She's loving it.)

Stretched out prone and naked in a beach chair is Luminița. The lycan drifts in and out of consciousness to the waves of the crowds' mirthful sounds. This bliss is interrupted by a shadow cast upon her.

"Take it," says Jevoi, dropping the bag by the side of Luminița's chair, "Where's my tome hidden?"

"What's your rush?" asks the lycan, her eyes refusing to open, "We'll do this after the cruise."

"Or we can do it now, while we're far from everyone."

"Nope, mourning," says Luminița, flipping onto her back, "My bunica was just sent to Hell."

"That's not my fault," says Jevoi, "And she was trying to kill us."

"Trying to kill you," says Luminița, eyes firmly shut, "Besides, you just want me to have the sheriff on my tail for the rest of the trip."

"No, I don't," says Jevoi, kneeling down closer to Luminița, "She has no reason to think you have it, she'll keep chasing me."

"Oi, Ling," yells a withered voice from the pool, startling Jevoi back up, "Fancy seein' you's 'ere."

Jevoi turns toward the disruptor: a decrepit old sea hag with wet leathery skin and in a tiny black bikini. "You're mistaken, miss, but you're not the first."

L: Salica, maybe? J: How am I supposed to know? L: She'd have been like forty; that's not old. J: She didn't look forty; she looked eighty.

"Really?" The hag crawls out of the pool, her seaweed hair dragging limply. "You look just like 'er." She slithers along the ground, limbs desperately trying to lift her water-logged body; her long claws scrapping as her hands search for footing. "You sound just like 'er." Her neck cracks as she twists her head to better look at the gex. Her smile is marred with broken teeth. "You smell just like 'er."

"Not willingly, I assure you." Jevoi steps back, scratching he wig. She looks about and spots, out into the pool, the volleyball game which has seemingly paused. "I think your coven's waiting for you. Shouldn't keep them waiting."

The hag jerks her head around to look, then she swings back. "They'll be- huh?" Jevoi is already gone.