Chocolatehabeneroboi - S.

i just want to look like a skinny boy, i want a flat chest it’s so exhausting staring in the mirror and hating everything i see lmao

For the ppl with a short memory of Europe's long history of war:

Dutch data project Nodegoat used an algorithm to map all the battles fought in history

the data project found that Europe and the US are the bloodiest parts of the world

Image source:

List of conflicts in Europe

Don’t mind me just coping with disordered eating humor

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)

which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.

luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.

why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.

vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.

then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.

which then require months of further specialized treatment.

the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage

vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.

the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!

it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!

which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s

Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.

today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar

if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)

that sounds so badass too lol

tbh i'd go farther to say dirty bong water lol

My brother and I were in a movie theater discussing what we thought “America’s drink” was and he said “bong water.”

Nobody:

Me “reading” the menu at the restaurant that I totally didn’t look up a week ago to order a totally non planned spontaneous meal:

Concept: a knight of space who grows mushrooms.