Won't You Kiss My Tears Away, I Look Pretty Only For You Anyway.

boyfriend!megumi moodboard <3

tw ! smut, mdni, aged up characters, corruption kink, fem!reader.

megumi is so into corruption and he almost hates himself for it.

he likes the shy girls with little to no experience who go all wide eyed and squirmy when they’re told something nasty. he likes the girls who’s brains get a little bit fuzzy when they’re praised for the first time, when calling them a good girl makes their lashes flutter and their skin warm up.

megumi likes the girls who need to be guided through big crowds or held up in tight spaces because they’re a little clumsy and might fall. he has a l dirty little thing for the ones who post pictures with their pouty, glossy lips and pictures the same pigment smeared along his lengthy dick — teaching them how to suck it just right, messing up their angel faces with tears and spit and all sorts. sometimes he likes to be needed by sweet, innocent things who wear their skirts a little too short and adorn those frilly ankle socks that are enough to drive a man like him mad.

maybe it’s a little gross of him, to prey on the weak and the pure — slaughtering them like a lion feasting on a lamb. he can’t help that he likes the way your the lace frills around your ankles socks dangle over his broad shoulders when fucks you deep and slow against your girly sheets, amongst your soft plushies and pillows.

he can’t help but to relish the taste of your drooly lips and the sound of your babyish tears when he hits that special spot along your sticky, wet insides. megumi wants someone to dote on, someone to press into the sheets and ruin for better ( or for worse ). he wants to be the one who teaches these precious little gems like you how to be bad and the perfect little fuck toy all for him.

flashes of guilt often cross his mind, makes his brows crease at the centre of his forehead midway through bending you over the edge of your bed and ploughing your poor pussy until there’s a darkened wet patch staining your sheets. he really shouldn’t be doing this, not to someone as innocent as you. who doesn’t know any better.

but then you cry out his name in warbled gibberish, reaching back for fushiguro’s large, veiny hand because you like being used by this and how he makes your legs tremble and shooting stars strike a path before your very own glossy eyes. you like this just as much as he does. and suddenly, megumi doesn’t care

because he’s found a twisted happiness in the idea of corrupting you so bad that no one else can satisfy the misguided, devious thoughts in your head. so that you’ll seek him out for pleasure and pain, because you know just what he likes and he’s taught you exactly what he wants you to like. <3

꒰ end. — all rights reserved © tteokdoroki 2024. do not copy, repost, translate, feed into ai & recommend elsewhere.

THROUGH A RAPIST’S EYES” (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. It may save a life, It may save your life.)

An Article from Neena Susan Thomas

“Through a rapist’s eyes. A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interview…ed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.

5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.

6] Number three is public restrooms.

7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.

8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.

POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:

1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.

2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh – HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.

5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.

6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.

2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:

a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .

b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry.

If u have compassion reblog this post. ‘Helping hands are better than Praying Lips’ – give us your helping hand.

REBLOG THIS AND LET EVERY GIRL KNOW AT LEAST PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD. So please reblog this….Your one reblog can Help to spread this information.

THIS COULD ACTUALLY SAVE A LIFE.”

Some headcanons about professor!Gojo of Symptoms and Causes, please!

professor!gojo headcanons (based on this fic)

sfw

x professor!gojo who silences you mid-rant with a kiss so intense it makes your head spin and forget all your arguments.

x professor!gojo who loves peppering kisses on top of your head just because he fucking can. gotta love those tall-man advantages.

x professor!gojo who flashes those dimples when he smiles, and damn, it throws you off guard every damn time.

x professor!gojo who hides a seriously ripped body under those fancy suits. the way the fabric pulls tight? enough said.

x professor!gojo who ditches the suit the second he's home, sweatpants hanging low enough to reveal his v-line, with hints of light, pale hair tracing along the hemline of his boxers.

x professor!gojo who sabotages good things before they can hurt him. deep down, he's convinced he doesn't deserve happiness and is unworthy of love.

x professor!gojo who throws himself into research with manic intensity, using it to cover up his pain beneath the illusion of productivity.

x professor!gojo who once lost a young patient early in his career, whose name still haunts him to this day.

x professor!gojo craves intimacy like a starving man. guess that's what happens when you grow up without genuine affection.

x professor!gojo who finds true vulnerability scarier than any scalpel. hence why his university days were filled with empty hookups that left him feeling worse.

x professor!gojo who once tried to hit on one of his female professors back in his university days just because he liked the challenge.

x professor!gojo who broke the unofficial university record for most girls fucked in one night. still unbeaten to this day.

x professor!gojo who completed his doctorate in only three years, the youngest graduate in the university's history. he wrote this thesis on glioblastoma.

x professor!gojo who can sweet-talk anyone into anything, but also isn't above exploiting people's weaknesses if he needs to.

x professor!gojo who struggles with nightmares, insomnia and intrusive thoughts.

x professor!gojo who clings to geto for stability.

x professor!gojo who would do anything for you. like he's a slave for you, if you'd ask him to.

x professor!gojo who isn't normally the jealous type, but get under his skin—and yeah, that possessive streak gets ugly.

x professor!gojo who can actually whip up a decent meal, surprisingly. gotta survive on your own somehow, right? cleaning, however—that's what hired help is for.

x professor!gojo who once had a very uncomfortable talk with his cleaning lady after she found his ridiculous stack of meds. he just raised her salary after that.

x professor!gojo who has very large hands and somehow they always find their way around your waist (or your throat in other situations).

x professor!gojo who scoops you up like it's nothing, even if you're protesting. he's strong, and a little bit of a show-off.

x professor!gojo who has these veins stand out against pale skin, tracing a roadmap along his forearms that disappears tantalizingly under rolled-up shirtsleeves.

x professor!gojo who is speckled with light freckles on his pale arms and shoulders. you only really notice in summer.

nsfw

x professor!gojo who doesn't only shut you up with kisses, but with his dick as well. it's like his way of manhanling you.

x professor!gojo who had nearly a threesome with geto once.

x professor!gojo who is anything but quiet. he's loud, unapologetic, and damn, it's fucking hot.

x professor!gojo who doesn't hold back when he's in the mood for some rough play. his kisses are aggressive, demanding, leaving you bruised and breathless. he'll bite, he'll nip, he'll leave marks that will linger long after. and when he's done with your mouth, he'll move on to the rest of your body, leaving bruises and bite marks.

x professor!gojo who always had this thing for studying female anatomy. geto thought it was kinda weird, but you surely thanked him for it. he knows every inch of the female body like the back of his hand, and he's not afraid to use that knowledge to make you scream his name.

x professor!gojo who knows your body better than you do. he knows exactly where to touch you, where to press, where to tease until you're writhing beneath him, begging for release. and he likes it.

x professor!gojo who once broke a bed while getting it on. he didn't even bother saying sorry. just up and left like it was nothing.

x professor!gojo who loves you sitting on his lap, taking control and driving him wild. it gets him so lost in the moment that he can't help but to moan uncontrollably underneath you as you ride him.

x professor!gojo who loves you on top but loves him on top even more. he loves to dominate you, taking charge, and watching you squirm under him. there's something about seeing you submit to his every touch, hearing your gasps and moans that drives him absolutely mad.

x professor!gojo who could get off only watching you react to his touch, knowing that he's the one responsible for bringing you to such heights. it's like a drug for him. ups

x professor!gojo who is all about taking his sweet time. he's like a freaking explorer, wanting to savor every inch of your body, every gasp that escapes your lips.

x professor!gojo who is into edging and overstimulation. he's all about pushing your limits and seeing how much you can take. it'll drive him insane if you say you can't take it anymore but still give him clear signals that whatever he does, he should not stop at all costs. and he won't stop until you're completely at his mercy, trembling with need.

x professor!gojo who can be surprisingly gentle too, especially when he knows you need it. he'll give it to you without hesitation.

x professor!gojo who is down to try anything new in the bedroom. no judgments, just pure exploration.

x professor!gojo who loves doggy style, because it gives him the perfect angle to take you exactly how he wants. plus, he's got all the space he needs to slam deep into you with all his force.

x professor!gojo who is very talkative. he'll praise you one moment, then urge you to give in the next. only when he's had a long day, he's not much for talking. he'd rather let his actions speak for themselves.

x professor!gojo who loves to plunge his tongue into your core. arguing with me on this one is futile.

x professor!gojo who is packing some serious length. and it's not just about being prepared. even when you think you are, he still manages to stretch you out like it's nobody's business. it's intense, to say the least.

x professor!gojo who has crazy stamina. he'll go at it for ages, leaving you completely spent and utterly satisfied, unable to move, let alone think. and then he will go another round.

x professor!gojo whose surgeon's hands caress you so gently one moment, and then grab your throat with terrifying force the next, leaving you gasping for breath.

x professor!gojo who knows just how to keep you on the edge, teasing and tantalizing until you're begging for release. he's playing a game, and you're completely at his mercy.

x professor!gojo who loves shower sex. there's just something about the water running over your skin that drives him wild. it's like he sees you and he knows he has to have you right here, right now, no matter what.

x professor!gojo who is all about that aftercare too. he's all about cuddling up and making sure you're feeling loved and cared for.

i may got carried a bit away. hope you enjoy! ♡

i need gojo to absolutely destroy me like i need this man to degrade me to fold me into half to spit on me. to laugh in my face after he literally explodes and ruts into me in oblivion. are u kidding he's rich he's tall he's hot PLEEEEASSSE i need a man like him. (maybe this is a request. a tiny drabble, if you will, if you can. please and thank you, love u :))

professional milker !

✰ ✰ ✰ his little whore’s gone dumb , but it’s okay , her pussy still milks him every time !

જ⁀➴ ughhh same like the way he was so condescending and mean to hanami and jogo 😓

,, mean!satoru x fem!reader , degradation (heavy) , overstimulation , dumbification , choking , slapping , creampie , spitting , mention of reader being a pillow princess , too many pet names (& used as degradation) , idk , drabble.

divider from @/benkeibear

“what a fucking whore. cummin’ on my cock like no tomorrow..” satoru snickers, ignoring your crying blabbers and giving a rough slap on your ass. if only you hadn’t fell for his charming attitude, him personally inviting you to his large party. the gojo satoru, inviting you? you couldn’t believe it. maybe you did when you fell for him again, his bright and piercing eyes catching you in the kitchen while you were grabbing drinks for you and your friends. if only you had stopped him when his touches began to linger. then you wouldn’t be here, in some random guest room he tucked you in, folded and milking his cock just like the sluts he keeps in his bed.

“hope you’re not goin’ dumb on me..” satoru chuckles, reaching down to rub your clit and watching how you squeezed your eyes shut, yet clamping around his cock so nastily. “i can’t do it anymore.” tears slip from your eyes, mewling and clawing his chest as he only leans further down on you to fill you up with even more of his cock. “you were just begging for it though. what’s with all this whining huh?” satoru meets you with a cheeky smile, a hand going to wrap around your neck and kissing you. “my thighs hurt..” you whimper, stuttering when he gives a long drag of his cock, squeezing your neck tight enough to make your eyes momentarily roll back.

“so that means i just need to make you cum fast enough..can’t have you in pain right? don’t worry, heh, i’ll do all the work. what a pretty pillow princess i got.” satoru pulls back and holds your thighs, playing with the plush as he eyes the cum that coated the area of where you two met, some of it dripping onto the bed as he slowly rolls his hips. “toruu..” you were in complete bliss, and despite being totally fucked out your mind, everything single thing he did still had your pussy throbbing around him, and you couldn’t help it.

“shh, gotta fill you up again. gonna be my personal cock sleeve— oh i felt that, bet you’d like that huh?” satoru chuckles when you tighten just from his words, he might’ve even imagined the way your folds visibly twitched. “y-you sure do talk a lot.” you stammered, only for him to suddenly give a sharp thrust, both of you moaning from the feeling of your shared cum sloshing in you, some of it trickling out from the abrupt movement. “a-and you’re talking too much for a dumb slut.” he sneers, using your thighs to help guide his length in your hole.

it was brushing along every inch of your walls, pressing right at that gummy spot in you that has you throwing your head back, clutching his arm with a cry. “satoru! um, t-too deep.” you’re already crying, teary doe eyes looking up so prettily at him. satoru groans, his cock was throbbing inside you and your firm walls weren’t doing much to help that. “yea? ya gotta feel me at the fucking brim. hope you’re on the pill— or else i’ma fuck a baby into you” satoru laughs, you didn’t have a single worry in your mind about it, and who knows if you remembered to take your birth control today. that’s a worry for another day at least.

satoru begins to set a steady pace, not too fast, yet sharp enough to pump into you every time his hips snap against your skin, his lengthy cock dragging and rubbing against your walls. “wanna feel you cum in me again toru..” you mumble mindlessly, whining when he seems to drive into you faster from your words. your nails grips the sheets as he chuckles, his voice husky and raspy. “a real fuckin’ cumdump. only thinkin’ of me filling you up with my hot n’ sticky cum.” satoru smirks, his cerulean eyes having a dim look in them that makes you whimper. he looks so intimidating, and it so hot.

“d-didn’t even s-say all— toru!” he stuffs you up completely, folding you back in half and ignoring your whine of pain. he steals your moans with messy kisses, “clearly not fuckin’ you good enough if y’r talkin’.” satoru huffs, his strokes were deeper than before, and as much as your thighs ached, you’d choose the feeling of his girth hitting you deliriously over being able to walk anyday. your words turn into weak murmurs of his name as he holds your jaw open, pretty blobs of tears rolling down your face.

“my dirty girl huh? gonna keep you after this, my little slut to come home to.” satoru chuckles before letting a thick glob of spit fall into your mouth. you look so cute, face twisting in disgust as you swallow it so obediently. “toruuu..” you can barely even protest when he cuts you off with open mouthed kisses. your pussy was throbbing as he gave short and fast pumps into your pussy. your brain was mushy at this point, his sweet and honeyed perfume invaded your senses, the sloppy sounds of your flesh’s meeting only added on to your ditzy haze.

“bet that dumb head of yours is empty. but it’s okayyy~ gonna make you feel so good with my cum all deep in your cunny.” satoru grins wickedly as you whine, his cock was almost bruising your insides but you couldn’t care. not when he was saying such filthy words to you as his cock twitched inside you. “m’gonna cum. cum with me toru..wanna feel you..” you managed to get out, voice whiny and soft in his ear. you flutter around him as he kisses around your neck, mumbling as the familiar coil in your stomach builds. “pretty girl’s gonna cum f’me? go ahead, cream around my cock.” and you do exactly that, eyes rolling back so sweetly, losing your voice as he fills your cunny up with his thick warm load.

satoru finally pulls away to eye the creamy substance around his cock, your pussy wasn’t able to hold your shared cum even if he stretched you out, trickling down his length and falling to the sheets. he hums, swiping it up and smearing it along your folds and ignoring your weak pleas of being too ‘sensitive’. he thinks there’s no such thing, considering you’re still squeezing his cock. “tsk. now i gotta clean it all up. don’t pass out yet, gonna have a good meal. hehe.”

cw: nsfw. fem! reader & afab!reader minors dni (block my nsfw tag) ageless blogs dni

thinking about 20-year-old megumi who looks so much like his dad that of course the boy has girls staring at him everywhere he goes. he’s got the same brownish green eyes as his dad, the same dark hair, and the same face—and it doesn’t help that his stoic personality is like a flame to a swarm of moths. he’s tall, well-built from his years of training, and essentially a carbon copy of toji—maybe a little bit of gojo, too, because he’d been raised by the eccentric white-haired sorcerer.

“you look so much like your dad,” gojo says every chance he gets. he shivers and then scowls st the memory of toji.

everyone else claims he looks like gojo—only because he’s so pretty that it makes sense to be compared to the man who had raised him and not the sorcerer killer.

but what everyone doesn’t know is that megumi isn’t a carbon copy of toji or gojo. he’s got one thing that sets him apart physically and it’s his hands.

megumi’s hands are gorgeous. his fingers are long and a little thin. they’re a bit veiny too, which makes you drool even though you hate to admit it. he’s got piano hands and you shamelessly stare at them whenever he taps his fingers on surfaces. his cuticles are always moisturized and his nails are trimmed—he claims it’s because his shadows need to be accurate in order for him to summon them, but you know he’s just secretly into self care.

he lets you paint his fingernails black, admiring the way your tongue sticks out in concentration as you try to not get any nail polish on his skin.

when he holds your hand, he’s always rubbing patterns into your skin. it’s like he can’t physically touch you without savoring you as much as he can! his hands are everywhere—your hips, your arm, tucked on your lower belly for some odd, perhaps primal reason.

he likes to move you out of the way (you’re usually unaware of your surroundings when he’s with you because he’s just so safe to be around!) by gently pulling you to his chest with his smooth fingertips, his hand being large enough to nearly cover your entire side.

when you cry, he brushes underneath your eyes with his thumb, wiping off your salty tears before kissing you. his hands are large enough to cup your face and cover it at the same time, which he likes to do when you’re acting a little difficult.

megumi likes to wrap his hands around your neck, not ever squeezing enough to cut any airflow—he just likes the way his fingers look when they’re gripping your smooth skin. he likes trailing his fingertips over each of the possessive bruises that he tends to leave on your sensitive skin. it’s like a reminder to him (and you) that you’re his.

you love the way his hands look when they’re digging into your skin, squeezing your plush thighs as he greedily laps up your release. your cunt spasms at the sight of his fingers wrapped tightly around your thighs. “n-no more! ‘s too much, gumi! can’t—!” he only caresses your skin and forces your legs apart with those pretty hands of his, holding your soft thighs apart. your skin dips around his fingers and the view is so pretty that you have to squeeze your eyes shut so that you don’t release all over his face again.

your favorite sight—and his too—is when his long digits are pumping in and out of your cunt. you’re breathless and mewling his name, watching as his fingers break you down into mush. “cum for me, baby, i know you can do it. such a greedy girl sucking my fingers right in, hm?” sometimes he wishes he could see the way his fingers curl inside your body, pressing up against the spots he knows has you shuddering for him. after you finish from his fingers alone, he loves to slowly pull his them out, admiring the glistening slick coating them. “see this, baby? just from my fingers, you sensitive little thing. do you like my hands that much?”

you love megumi’s hands. that’s one thing about him that’s strictly him—you wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.

“they should invent a man who only loves one woman”

gojo ‘i love my gf so much if we ever break up life will not go on’ satoru exists 🙏

Me asf

i watched bungou stray dogs, which led me to vanitas no carte, and then i found yuukoku no moriarty.

conclusion: i enjoy animes with detectives, vampires, and the rivals-to-partners-but-still-rivals trope

star — itoshi sae.

characters: itoshi sae × gn!reader

warnings: fluff, hurt/comfort, established relationships, heavy codependency, burnt out sae, word vomit, sae is an idiot that’s too in love, and sae who’s emotions are all over the place.

word count: 2.3k

synopsis: the world itoshi sae once envisioned is so hazy, barely non-existent anymore. and it’s all because of you.

note: the nicknames/callsigns "mi amor" and "mi vida" mean "my love" and "my life".

aged up characters | please read at your own risk!

my singular interest is becoming the best in the world—is something itoshi sae remembers saying to someone with much conviction.

oh, how he lies.

sae reminds himself to never let his mouth speak such nonsense driven by his now crippling ego. sae wants to go back in time, tell that stupid interviewer that he doesn’t care about being the best in the world if it means being the only one in your universe.

itoshi sae fell in love, to put it simply.

his singular interest is you. it doesn’t matter when, where, or what happens—it’s only you, the one and only other piece of his dull soul. when sae loves you, he feels it overwhelmingly all over him, too. he feels his body tingle with tenderness, he hears his breath shudder when talking to you, and so much more. at first, it was weird. although after a long run? it became addictive.

he longs for you in every way, even if you’re already his. sae doesn’t quite understand why, but he also feels like it also doesn’t matter; because he deeply misses your soft giggles that warm his neck when you’re too close to him, he misses your scent—fuck, he misses everything about you. so, naturally, sae feels like his heart is being ripped apart with every flight he has to take back to spain. during many occasions, sae almost begged you to go to him: interlocking your hands together until he reaches the entrance of the airport, not bothering to let go until you have to pry yourself away from him; and even staring sadly into your eyes with the faintest pout on his lips.

perhaps—no, sae is fairly certain about this—being away from you is one of the most agonizing things he has to experience in this life of his. sae wishes to curse his soccer team, his manager, or even anyone who arranged such a game far from home. or rather, far from you.

you’re so far away; he’s in his lukewarm apartment in spain, while you’re in your homey abode in japan. it sucks in his bedroom here. it’s awful, boring, and you-less. his bedsheets are soft, sure, but nothing will compare to the feeling of hugging your waist and burying his face into your soft skin. he takes a deep breath—it could be that he’s merely dreaming this boring setting, when you’re really lulling him to sleep—that’s why he’s stuck in it, yeah. yeah no…fuck, again, sae misses you far more than his patience could handle.

tiredly finding his phone on his mattress, his hands find its way to your contact in an instant, and he calls you. timezones be damned, because sae can’t take it anymore.

“shit,” sae feels his lips twitch, wanting to let an amused breath be heard by you over the phone. “uhh…hello?” it seems that only now do you think you’ve picked up the phone, voice dry of sleep.

“i love you.”

“huh?”

“i also miss you.”

“sae?”

“hi,” sae’s voice is muffled by his pillow, his face burning up as it still hasn’t adapted with his slippery tongue pouring affection onto you. “what’s wrong? it’s…uhm, 4am here, you know?” your voice is much clearer now, and it’s accompanied by a loose giggle into the phone’s speaker. sae knows you have an answer to your own question, he’s that obvious. “mn. sorry. i-” sae’s heart beats louder and faster when he hears your giggle once more become a tune to his ears. “love me? miss me?” you complete his thoughts, and sae holds onto every second of it. he hums quietly, nodding guiltily even if you couldn’t see it. “‘s okay calling me, sae. but i’m a bit sad right now.” your voice acts, and sae practically sits up his bed, phone pushing harder onto his ear to hear what’s happening.

“did something-”

“mhm, i was dreaming about you, and then…you woke me up.” you groan rather loudly, however, easing some weight on sae’s shoulders. “sorry for that too, mi amor.” he apologizes like he’s committed a sin; although deep in his heart that’s all for you, it probably is considered a crime. “fine. but do know that it’s suuper unfortunate.” sae’s heavy sigh of relief widens the smile on your face. god, the tension of amusement on your end is enough to be felt by sae—who knows what sae would do to see you with that pure smile right now.

“is it really unfortunate now? was the itoshi sae in your dream better than me? your real boyfriend, speaking to you right now?” instinctively, sae pouts as his eyebrows twitch to furrow, hoping for the answer his childish self wants. “hmm,” sae’s jaw slackens in disbelief, did you really have to think about it? his pout worsens, he can’t believe you had it in you to tease him when you’re probably half asleep, although, he may or may not really mind. “i like the sae in my dream better, maybe.” sae now scoffs, rolling his eyes pathetically. “mi vida, why are you like this?” sae questions, but that doesn’t particularly matter. at least, not when despite anything your personality gives him, he’ll accept.

“aren’t you curious, though?” you continue to tease.

“hmph. of course i am.” and sae’s adoration for you continues to indulge.

“remember when you took me on our first date?” your voice goes softer now, fond of the memory and storytelling. “do you think i’d forget?” how could he, though? how could sae forget how he regretted planning such a boring date—all because he didn’t think he’d fall into such a deep trench to love you? “c’mon, don’t be so down now, sae. it’s a good dream, promise.” it’s most likely, because as you’re thinking of the words to say, sae hears your covered yawns consecutively.

“felt like i relived our first date, you know? really nostalgic. we were walking out of the convenience store late november with a bag filled with your favorite popsicles.” your dream is spot on already. sae’s heart beats a little faster again. “then, we went to your favorite spot by the sea. it was extra cold, too. but we still ate the popsicles.” you laugh, warming sae’s thoughts as he reminisces about the chilly winds of the evening that you dared not complain about. instead, sharing countless of frozen popsicles sae still feels numbing his tongue with the kindest, most precious smile he’s ever seen.

“yeah, i remember that. why’s the sae in your dream better, then?” you’re a bit silent, as if unsure of what to explain.

“mi amor?” you only hum, still thinking about it, it seems.

sae gulps slowly—anxiously. because sometimes, itoshi sae wonders deep in his complex emotions that he’s weary of.

“mhmm, i’m still here.”

sometimes, itoshi sae wonders why out of all the people that could’ve and should’ve treat you better, you decide he’s the one.

“it’s just that, i guess i missed having you around right beside me? ah, but i think i’m just speaking nonsense, it’s almost past four thirty.” you don’t spout such things as nonsense, anything you have to speak about, sae withholds with utmost seriousness.

right now, itoshi sae is at that spiral of sudden insecurity.

“you- i’ll go home as soon as i can.” sae mutters, voice wavering as a part of him is scared. of what? losing you? a bit childish, still. he knows you’ll understand, everything and anything he’ll go through. it’s why he fell in love so deeply in the first place. you’re the first person to give him back the amount of love he never knew he was even capable of. don’t leave now: his heart whispers.

“sae, wait,” he can’t hear you, at least, not when his senses are fully enveloped in the listing of available flights back to japan as soon as possible—at 2am in spain in a bit looks promising enough for him.

“sae, listen to me first? you’re not going back here yet, you still have a game next week.” you remind him, but sae doesn’t care. “that doesn’t matter, current team i’m with is pretty shit. anyway, i miss you a lot, too. so it’s alright.” sae feels his stubbornness root from his core and out all across his body, and he feels guilty.

“itoshi sae.” just before sae could click his booking of the plane ticket, your stern voice halts his actions. a thin coat of sweat heats his palms as he fidgets with one finger. “mad?” he asks, throat clenched. “no, not at all. just, let’s talk, okay? promise me you’ll listen.” sae hears movement from your line, you’re probably beyond serious right now, sitting up on your bed, back resting on your headboard as your eyes look at the ceiling. “…sure.” it’s a promise.

“you know why you’re in spain, right? to pursue your dream—your passion, sae.” he wants to shake his head and deny everything, he wants to tell you to not continue any longer, because eventually, sae wouldn’t even know what to answer. “and i’m here back home, because i also have my dreams here. you understand that, don’t you? you miss me, and i miss you—that’s so normal, because i love you and you love me back, right? you’ll come home when you can, but not now,” why? is something sae wants to ask. “not now when your goal is right in front of you.” no—you’re not right on that one. “you don’t have to forfeit anything related to your dreams for me, you know that. i’ve told you that, yet you’re still as stubborn as ever, huh?” you let out a breath, your voice is neutral yet still heavy of sleep in hopes to reach him.

sae isn’t giving anything up, truly, he is not. his career from soccer has already gone shit, anyways. ever since he’s given up being the worlds best striker, he’s felt empty; trying to compensate with his new, still shitty, ambition of being the best midfielder there is. realistically, sae can’t give anything great up when everything is already lukewarm in his life.

however, in this life of his with only you matters; when the circumstance is him defying you as his sole dream—then, he has nothing to lose.

“i would quit football for you.” sae whispers, shocking not only you, but himself at the bluntness.

“you wouldn’t.” sae knows he shouldn’t, because you wouldn’t like that.

“i would, if you wanted me to.” rationally, he’s an idiot to say such things. because all his life, itoshi sae has been so inhospitable, never understanding certain lengths people would go through for another. all his life, he’s never felt like this. the version of himself three years ago—the him who stated that he has no other interest aside from being the best in the world—would curse him off, never to accept this current state of his. even though sae knows how to act, he throws out all that rationality when it’s you he’s thinking of.

to quit soccer for you? he would fucking do.

but is it for his own selfishness? he doesn’t know.

“i don’t want you to.” he knows. your voice a tad bit disappointed at him, and he’s a tad bit disappointed at the answer. “you can’t just throw everything out for me, sae. i wouldn’t like that.” reluctantly, sae closes the tab for booking flights with your low voice looming over him. “why? would you rather me be in spain for who knows how long?” sae tries to humor, although his voice falls far too seriously once more.

“i’d rather have you here with me. but…” sae’s breath hitches, clutching on his phone harder, eyes moving too much.

“but?” please, his heart begs, be something he’ll want to hear. tell him to go back to japan, tell him to leave everything behind in spain. please, his heart begs again. again. and again.

“hm, not if it means you giving up something you’ve worked hard for in the very beginning. that would be a waste, no?” fuck—how many times will his mentality scream at him? it’s not a waste. nothing is a waste for you. if him abandoning his career means being with you for as long as you allow him to, then it’s okay. if you being with him means he certainly has something to love and hold up to, then it’s beyond okay.

“mi vida, i-” sae lets out a shaky breath, he doesn’t know anymore. the corners of his eyes burn, and it starts to warn him of tears. “mi amor, what’s really wrong?” you answer back, voice so clear it makes him look to his side to see if you’re possibly with him in spain. now, he thinks you’ve pierced through a barrier sae never realized has been built. it crumbles, almost instantly, too, and sae confesses the first thing eating at the back of his mind: “i miss you so much. i want to go back, it’s so lonely here.” because you’re not here, is what sae wishes to express further.

“are you tired?” now, sae understands a part of him better. through the years of dating, he’s subconsciously relied on you for anything and everything. what matters to you is his guide on what should also matter to him.

itoshi sae, now understands that your love and care for him is one of the sole basis of his composure.

“very much.” his voice is so fragile, and sae hates how he’s aware you’re aching for not being there to physically comfort him and his collapsing mental figure.

he’s desperate, so please, do something about it. his body pleads entirely now, tears frantically pouring down his face with nothing to solace it. you hear him sniffle, hiccup—everything. you hear it. you wish you understood the underlying need of his, but he wouldn’t blame you if it were a bit later, as well. because sae only now discovers just how far the roots of his distress reaches.

“i see. then, come home, mi amor. i’ll be here waiting for you.”

© takotakigum | do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works.