Tw: Cheating

tw: cheating

[ 22:25 ] if loving kaeya was hard enough, then learning to unlove him was just as much.

it hits you like a bullet at random times of the day. memories you thought you have already buried in the deepest part of your mind pierces your skin and strikes directly to your heart. soften fragments of him and everything that had to do with him haunting your mind, like an annoying ghost you couldn't exorcise. his sweet words poisoning your mind to no end, the places on your body that he once touched kept burning your skin.

but was it so wrong to still want him despite it all?

(it is.)

there was a tiny part of you that regretted ever walking away, the you who still believed in him—the you who's still intoxicated with his destructive love. and you had to clench your fists to the point they're cloudy white to ground yourself that it's for the better, digging your feet into the earth to prevent yourself from running back to his cold unloving arms.

you had to remind yourself again and again that kaeya does not deserve you after everything he had done, for breaking you to the point you believed you're can't be fixed. for burning your soul to ashes with the heat of his touch that had grown cold. for drowning you in his ocean of lies, dragging you to the very bottom without letting you breathe.

you had to remind yourself that choosing to end your ties with him was better than letting him ruin you even further than he already had, and that you were not at fault that he chose to love someone else when he already had you in the very beginning.

you did nothing wrong.

you gave him everything you had and more. you just simply loved him more than he ever did to you, and there was nothing wrong with that. it's not wrong to miss the kaeya you once loved. it's not wrong to let your heart break and cry for him for now because you know, in time, it will heal itself back up.

and when you start to understand, these memories of him that revisit you will stop becoming haunted. you'll stop wanting it, him, back. the distant images only becomes a reminder that not everything that seems attached on you is for you. and everything will become easier when you have come to terms that you deserve better, that it is only right for you to walk away.

you decided that this isn't an ending, but rather a revolution. a better beginning, a redirection. like finding a map after a year of being lost—on him.

Fluffvember Day 20: Secret Crush

༻Aether༺

You couldn’t get over how amazing this traveling hero was and how cute he was as well, you didn’t even know his name but you still felt like you could go up and help him out with whatever's going on. Currently gushing about him to your friends in Liyue, hanging next to some stairs all scattered about and laughing at your blushy face, teasing you for being so in love. “You don’t even know his name! What if he’s just putting up an act?! What then?!” Shaking your head and starring out into the harbor, “I don’t care that I don’t know his name. He’s not acting, I can tell. From what I’ve seen he just wants his sister back, he would never hurt someone. He’s kind and caring, and more selfless than he should be.”

They all looked at you trying to lighten the mood by asking you what would happen if you met him and what your ideal date would be, all you wanted was to talk to him and help him find his sister. Yes, part of you wanted him for yourself but if it meant him being happy then so be it. You brushed off their comments and stood up, brushing off your clothes and waving them off before teasing them and having them chase after you. “Oh yeah? Come on! After all that teasing it’s more than fair!” Smiling brightly with no care in the world and ran down the steps, carefully to not slip while full of adrenaline.

What you didn’t know what that Aether was coming down from a meeting with Zhongli about Inazuma and its archon, he’d seen you around and you had helped him with the missing posters and with the service. He didn’t expect to hear you singing his praises and defending him so plainly, respecting his goal and what he did. You were beautiful and so kind, when he first met you Paimon teased him for zoning out for a second. Aether heard Paimon laugh at his red cheeks and he leaned against the railing as he processed your confession, replaying your laugh and smile in his mind. Guess his secret crush liked him back.

10 Good Romances I Watched in 2018

10) Kamisama Kiss

Kamisama Kiss is an interesting shoujo. I found it to be fairly unique compared to other shoujos and yet also found it to be a shoujo that held many of the tropes the genre normally has. I know charm is something that is typically subjective, but I found Kamisama Kiss to be a very charming show. From what I’ve seen, a lot of people have a similar opinion, so watch it if you like shoujos.

9) Asagao to Kase-san

I love how normal and teenage Asagao to Kase-san is. It’s really sweet to see the beginning of a relationship along with the awkward fumbling that comes from it, especially in a wlw romance. It’s cute and the movie is only an hour long. The manga is a little longer.

8) End of the Fucking World

End of the Fucking World is a good example of doing edgy, shitty teenagers right. I found myself rooting for them to get out of their…situation successfully and happily, even though it’s obvious that’s not going to happen. Watching the two of them slowly soften and care about the other was extremely satisfying. The series is pretty short. I watched it in about a day. So next time you get some free time this show might be a good idea.

7) (500) Days of Summer

It was really good. The story was told in a unique way and the characters were likable and their relationship was endearing. You could understand why they ended up together and why they liked each other while also seeing how they were ultimately not good for each other without making the characters look stupid. It’s a really good romantic comedy. I would recommend it.

6) Wotaku ni Koi Wa Muzukashii

Writing good. Pacing bad. That’s the base of the show. It’s an office romance! Those are normally pretty fun, and this one is! The opening and ending sequence are incredibly fun. I don’t have much to say about this one in all honesty. It’s a romantic comedy with dry humor and romance viewed through a mature lens. It’s good. Check it out.

5) Bloom into You

Yeahhhh Bloom into You is probably the most somber romance on this list. I gotta say, I was surprised by how psychological Bloom into You was considering how popular it seemed to be as well as the art design appearing very flowery at first sight (though once I started to watch the show the designs seemed more solemn). This show deals with trying to understand what being in love even is, the reasons people fall in love with others, and if those specific reasons will affect how the person reciprocates their feelings. It’s extremely good, just don’t watch it if you’re in the mood for a light romance.

4) Our Relationship is…

I’ve already written most of my thoughts on this manhwa in a different blog post of mine. It’s a really good romance with strong main and side characters. If you like the friends to lovers trope then this manhwa is the one for you. I could really sense their care for one another. The manhwa was also good at differentiating between what made them like each other as friends and what made them like each other romantically. Their relationship evolved nicely. I’d recommend it, for sure.

3) Doukyuusei

Definitely the healthiest yaoi I’ve seen. Though I haven’t seen many. I’m kind of sucker for romances that put an emphasis on the seasons so Doukyuusei kind of easily became a beloved romance of mine. The direction and water-color design was beautiful. Sadly, I don’t think the movie is purchasable in the west as well as being very hard to stream. Seriously. I’m surprised my computer didn’t get a virus after watching this.

2) Fruits Basket

I’m mad it took me until 2018 to watch this. If you’re into the found family trope (like me) then Fruits Basket is a must watch. The themes of finding a place to belong are done so beautifully and the characters are so likable that when they find that place it just…you really feel that shit. The romance is also really sweet, though not as developed compared to the manga- but hey! Fruits Basket is getting a reboot in April that is supposed to follow the manga a lot better than the original anime adaptation so PLEASE look forward to that.

1) His and Her Circumstances

I really like this one. The two main characters are likable and the comedy is done really well and this show serves a lot of good advice and insight on growing up and relationships and it’s just really good okay. It’s one of the few romances I’ve seen that shows that people make mistakes in relationships that are often unintentional- sometimes those mistakes are even things we think we’re doing right. His and Her Circumstances just really knows how to portray common and realistic relationship problems and blunders in an interesting, endearing way. Watch it if you can find it.

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chenkaiii

3 years ago