#omg #i Love This So Much #my Heart Skfndjs

war never changes

Last year I made this drawings for Nico's birthday but forgot to post them here

I was so excited to see his and Jason's friendship developing in the future, unfortunately rick hates us and though it'd be really funny to kill jason 😒

Anyways, happy birthday nico <3

Seeing a lot of braces Dazai (which I love so much <33) reminded of this headcannon that I submitted to an anonymous chat box & then got super popular

Here’s a small (very unfinished) comic to go with

I forgot that the headmaster is a person and can be buried...

Odasaku, Sasaki, and the orphanage headmaster are all buried in the same cemetery.

So Kunikida, Atsushi, and Dazai all run into each other grave visiting regularly and politely pretend they don’t. They never acknowledge the meaning behind the bouquets brought, even if all of them know the others know flower language. They never acknowledge the tear streaks down Atsushi’s face, or the solemn look on Kunikida’s. Atsushi never points out how the scent of whiskey is always a bit stronger on Dazai’s coat. They never acknowledge the location of their accidental meetings.

Sometimes Kunikida might offer to take them to get food, or Atsushi will offer a random hard candy from his pocket, on colder days Dazai might lend his coat. None of them are really themselves when faced with grief, and none of them will to hold it against each other.

also I wish to talk about this Chuuya's hair

it's longer than in Fifteen but he's not tying it into a ponytail like Storm Bringer yet.

It's partly because it's an old design that was made forever ago, before any backstories were solidified, but this design makes him look so baby. His clothes are baggy and look too big on him. His hair is at an in-between length. He's looking like he's still growing into himself. He is baby. He is figuring things out. Please wait.

I like to think Ody got a little traumatized with water for a while...

(also i want to thank you all for the love on my first post of them….i wasn't expecting that for a silly joke 🧍‍♂️)

THINKING ABOUT CHUUYA...

he takes pride in acting your personal heater. being the vessel of an entity of chaos means chuuya naturally run a few degree's hotter than the average human, go figure! obviously he’s gonna use that fact to his advantage. he just adores looking after his darling.

is there a slight chill in the air ? he's already lacing your fingers together and tugging you closer to his side. chuuya's favourite move is bringing your hands to his lips, letting his warm breath heat your skin before pressing a kiss to your knuckles. and you bet your cute butt he's gonna be giving you that shit eating grin of his because he knows it’d fluster you.

or maybe it's a night that’s colder than the two of you anticipated. thankfully, you have a 5'3 furnace by your side. he's right behind you, one arm acting as your pillow while the other wraps around your midriff to press you back against him. or he's pulling you to his chest; letting you snuggle into the crook of his neck while his fingers card lazily through your hair. you always end up as a cozy mess of tangled limbs by morning.

or or or ! if the enviroment doesn't exactly allow for such physical displays of affection, he's still got a way to keep you toasty. he doesn't miss a beat when he catches you shiver slightly, even though he's in work mode, discussing the latest operation with his underlings. he shrugs off his coat to wrap over your shoulders without breaking conversation, squeezing you lightly as he does so. his coat is always warm with the heat left from his body, and it smells like home.

Just the teens of the Agency being taken care of by the others.

Because yeah maybe Junichiro and Atsushi aren't that much younger than say Dazai and Kunikida. But to them and the rest they're still kids.

And this job can be a lot.

If no one else is injured, Yosano seeks them out first after a mission for a check up.

She's made sure they know her door is always open, to come to her even if they don't think a wound is serious.

Atsushi and Kyouka have to be told this more than anyone else. They still hesitate but Yosano always smiles when they approaches her, letting them know it's okay.

Atsushi's childhood and Kyouka's time in the Port Mafia taught them to show weakness. But somehow that rule falls aside when their in Yosano's office.

Because they trust her.

Naomi rarely ever needs to go to the infirmary. But she's had too and what she's seen terrified her. Yosano has ushered her in and listened, comforted her that she's safe now.

Kenji and Atsushi spend a lot of time in the infirmary.

Kenji is always sweet and bright but there's times even he feels scared and hurt. Junichiro holds it together but he breaks down when their alone.

Yosano stays by their sides, a kind presence in the chaos and hugs them close.

Ranpo always knows when to take them off a mission.

When Junichiro has a test coming up, when Kenji needs to rest after using his ability. He won't have them overworking themselves, no way.

Ranpo will instead having them guide him to his cases or get him snacks.

Or just straight up tell him to take a break. He's even used his ability to save them time on cases when there's too much going on.

"There you're done, now go take a nap."

Ranpo's memorised which snacks and sweets they like, and periodically drops them on their desks. Reminding Atsushi that it's a gift, he can have it and that it's okay.

Kenji gets the most, especially when he's had to use his ability a lot. Ranpo's not letting him go without having something to eat.

After the guild incident Naomi gets a huge bag of her favourites dropped on her desk.

Kunikida despite his schedule always makes time for them. He's lenient on paperwork (that doesn't apply to you Dazai!)

Junichiro hesitantly asks for his help on some homework and it turns into a full midday study session. And Kunikida wouldn't let him apologise for it.

He's contacted Kenji's family and gotten their permission to sign off on anything Kenji needs his parents permission on.

Kunikida comforts Atsushi when he makes a mistake. He reminds Kyouka that she made the right decisions.

He takes them out for dinner or cooks for them, and makes sure everyone's well fed and has enough food.

Kunikida had made himself all of their emergency contact. He has told them to call him whenever they need him. Rain or shine he will be there for them.

Dazai knows just what to say to lighten the mood. He reminds Kyouka that people like them can change. He will actually do his paperwork if he senses Atsushi's overwhelmed.

Reminds them all that one mistake doesn't destroy all their hard work. He'll praise their efforts and remind them of how far they've come.

Dazai notices when Kenji's smile isn't as bright and sits by his side. He shares stories that'll make them laugh and grins when he succeeds.

He's a calming presence when things get rough. Ruffling Atsushi's hair and patting Junichiro's head. Smiling kindly at Kyouka and Kenji.

He reminds them all that the world doesn't rest on their shoulders, they've got others to carry the weight.

And he'll break into their dorms to drag them out if he notices any of them isolating themselves.

Fukuzawa keeps an eye on everyone, but the younger members in particular.

He took Kyouka in and is her legal guardian. He signs off on anything that requires a parent or guardians permission.

He reminds Kyouka that people like them can change. Divulging into parts of his past to comfort her and Atsushi that he understands how they feel.

And doesn't see them any differently.

Makes sure Kenji can regularly vists his family. He's in close contact with them and keeps them updated.

Fukuzawa let's them nap in his office or take a breather in there.

His office is a safe space, tells them nothing and no one can harm you here. He checks up on them all whenever they're in the infirmary.

He has Junichiro's latest report card on the fridge and has told him on many occasions he's proud of him.

Fukuzawa keeps an eye out to ensure Atsushi and Kyouka are settling into the dorms okay. He has given them all his personal number for emergencies.

He checks on Naomi, especially after the incidents she was involved in and makes sure she's okay.

Doesn't allow any of them to overwork themselves. Has taken them to cat cafes on breaks when things get rough.

Because the Agency are family and they look out for their own.

The Wary Weretiger

"You know, I think therapy might be more effective than this." Said Atsushi. He didn't need to turn around to know Akutugawa was rolling his eyes.

"Shut up."

Atsushi raised his hand, catching the orange. "Huh, you even peeled it this time. Must be serious."

He wasn't exactly sure how they got here. Akutagawa had been hunting him down for his bounty.... And than one day just stopped. Somewhere along the lines this had become their routine.

Akutugawa ranted at him, Atsushi sat and ate whatever fruit he'd pick up on the way. Sometimes he'd voice his own opinion and Akutugawa would begrudgingly listen.

It was werid.

But not unwelcome.

It definitely beat having his leg cut off, that's for sure.

"Go on, out with it. I'm busy today." Akutugawa scoffed "and what could you be possibly busy with." Atsushi shrugged "well I still need to get a job."

It didn't matter how much he saved from what he stole from the Orphanage, it wouldn't last him much longer.

"I thought the Agency offered you a position." Said Akutugawa, carefully. As kind as Atsushi was he fought like a caged beast. He could and would ditch Akutugawa if the other offended him.

And Akutugawa didn't want to admit he liked his company.

Atsushi took a bite out of an orange slice "only because of my ability. They're nice people, but I'll find a job myself. Besides that would you my enemy and I am not dealing with that."

His leg would grow back but it was painful. And being on Akutugawa's not bad side was a nice place to be.

Not that Atsushi would admit it.

Akutagawa nodded, he could respect wanting to keep your pride even when you were at rock bottom. But even soo... "Is it so bad for them to want you for your ability?"

Atsushi paused.

"My whole life people have only wanted my ability. They've tried to rip it out of me because they felt entitled to it.... Do you really think I'd want to join an organisation that values it so highly?"

There was an edge to his tone, but also sadness. Akutugawa's eyes went wide in shock.

He unconsciously tugged his coat closer. He wouldn't know what to do if Rashomon was stolen from him.

Akutugawa felt vulnerable just taking a bath, he couldn't imagine how Atsushi felt feeling his ability get ripped out of his skin. It was fortunate that it clearly failed.

It certainly explained Atsushi's distrust of both light and dark.

"I suppose not." Said Akutugawa, going quiet in thought. He went back to his initial question.

"I was once in a situation like yours. I lived in the slums, it was there Dazai found me and I joined the Port Mafia. That became my purpose, and I'm lost without it. But you... You don't have that, and yet you seem satisfied."

Atsushi hummed, thoughtful. "I'm gonna say something, but right or wrong you're not allowed to stab me again."

Akutagawa scoffed.

"I stabbed you one time, stop acting like it was such a big deal.... But very well, I won't stab you."

Atsushi turned to face Akutugawa, putting his orange slices back into a tupperware box. "That isn't your purpose."

Akutagawa is taken aback. He wants to argue but something in him stops him. The way Atsushi spoke to him now was different to how he usually does.

He sounded like Dazai.

Dazai in the quiet moments, the rare moments when Akutugawa hadn't failed him. The all seeing look in his eye as he read Akutugawa like an open book.

"You had a purpose, one you cherished like a second soul. But you lost it. You tried to convince yourself whatever you consider your purpose now is it, but it isn't. And it never will be."

And yet when Atsushi spoke it was kind. It wasn't intended to tear Akutugawa down, quite the opposite. And Akutugawa found himself unable to look away.

"... How do you know this?"

Atsushi smiled, it was small and sad and it didn't fit him like his usual grin did. "You wouldn't be trying so hard to find your purpose if you truly believed you found it."

He looked away, giving Akutugawa some privacy in his own thoughts. "Ask yourself, who were you before the Port Mafia? Who were you back when you were like me? There's you're answer."

Akutagawa frowned, deep in thought. He'd been... He'd been weaker and pitiful. A small child who killed whoever went in his way, but killing hadn't changed in his life.

He was the Port Mafia's Rabid dog, he was still a killer so that wasn't it.

What had he been killing for? In the Port Mafia it was because those were his orders. Because the weak needed to be destroyed to make way for the strong.

Back in the slums it had been for survival. Akutugawa would've died many times over if he'd let those idiots survive. And Gin wouldn't have survived of he hadn't protected her from them.

Akutagawa froze.

... That's what it was. He had been a protector, his reason for killing down in the slums was to protect Gin and his friends.

His friends who were killed on the night Dazai found him... The night Akutugawa lost his purpose and tried to gain another.

But failed.

"I can't get it back." Whispered Akutugawa, suprised that he choked up at the thought. He hadn't thought of them in years.

"You can" Said Atsushi, looking at him again. "The circumstances may have changed, but the core premise is the same. You just have to open yourself up to that."

Open himself up? So Akutugawa had to find something else to protect? That... Didn't seem so hard, given the Port Mafia protected the city from the shadows. And Gin was still with him.

Had it really been infront of him, all this time?

"That's the difference between us" said Atsushi, quietly but Akutugawa caught it. "You had a purpose only to lose it. While I have never had one."

Atsushi chuckled and it was sad again and Akutugawa hated it. He preferred when Atsushi was genuinely happy. When his smile reached his eyes, his eyes that were kind and shined with light.

Now they looked so empty, so sad.

"You think I'm satisfied but I'm not. I have no dreams, no aspirations, my worth is tied entirely to my ability. I live to spite all those that want me dead, to stop them from taking the tiger if I pass on. I have no purpose, not really."

Akutugawa didn't know what to say, all he could do was nod in goodbye when Atsushi left.

He reached down, picking up the half of orange Atsushi saved for him. That he always saved for him, no matter how hard times got.

"You're wrong" he said to the wind as he walked away. "You're so much more than you're ability."

Happy Valentines Day!

I was still undecided on who to pick but my partner has had her heart set on FinxSebastion from the start. Blame her.

Bonus: