Monica/Chandler Before Mondler You Are One Of My Favorite People And The Most Beautiful Woman I’ve

can you believe that we have fanfiction. that we have websites dedicated to fanfiction. that there is a place that you can go and read tens, hundreds, thousands and thousands of pieces of writing that strangers have made. people who are not "writers". people who come home at the end of the day and have feelings and say, i am going to put that into words. i am going to share those words. short, long, sweet, sad, horny, funny, wonderful words. we are all just human and we all love to make and remake and share that with others. can you believe that.

Teddy Lupin’s 17th birthday.

I think this might be too fluffy to publish on ff.net/ao3, but I know you guys appreciate sickening fluff. A Harry and Teddy godfather/godson fluff piece, mild warnings for alcohol use.

The laughter was loud, the wine was being poured, Ron and George were digging around in the pantry for the beer they were sure was stashed away somewhere. There was a rumbling upstairs from the kids racing around, and a shrieking - a loud thunk made Harry and a handful of the other parents look up at the ceiling, but when they only heard an irritated ‘Owww!’ rather than anything that sounded like a serious injury, they went back to laughing over Angelina’s anecdote.

Molly and Audrey busied themselves with the food, a stunning display of salads and charcuterie boards, crusty bread and bowls of olive oil and balsamic, several rotisserie chickens and plates of neatly arranged seafood Ron had already loudly insisted he wouldn’t touch. Hermione was enchanting streamers and bunting of every colour to drape themselves elegantly around the room, and Angelina, pins in her mouth, was putting up the happy birthday banner.

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Hellooo just wondering if you could write something about James babysitting Dora. I can only imagine that being the cutest thing ever 😍

After seemingly chasing her around the entirety of Grimmauld Place, James had finally focused his goddaughter’s attention on the dress-up box, hoping to at least keep her confined to her room. He’d thought he was physically fit, given his job, but apparently small children fuelled themselves on the sheer exhaustion of whoever was looking after them. 

‘What about this, Dora?’ he asked her, pulling out a sequined little dress. ‘Want to be a fairy?’ 

She scowled. ‘No.’ 

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call if you care for me

Sirius Black to goobers: the one day i actually come and school burns down

Remus Lupin: what classes were you in

James Potter: i was in english you Were Not

Peter Pettigrew: or history

Remus Lupin: it doesnt count as attending school if u just lie behind the science block till lunch  

Sirius Black: youre all ruining this fire for me  

James Potter to Lily Evans: give back my chocolate shake

Lily Evans: i dont have it

James Potter: i can see u fuckin drinkin it we’re in the same maccas

Lily Evans: everyones saying you did it

James Potter: pardon

Lily Evans: set the fire

James Potter: come off it

James Potter: whose saying that

Lily Evans: everyone

James Potter: ah yes my great mate ‘everyone’

Lily Evans: mary, elliot from science, louise marcot, guy from math whose name i dont know but went to ball with ruby garland, sam roberts, and sushi danny have all told me it was you

James Potter: wow that does seem like everyone

James Potter: now im wondering whether I did do it

Sirius Black to James Potter: had a dream i died in a freak pharmaceutical accident last night

James Potter: what is a freak pharmaceutical accident

Sirius Black: i was drunk in a pharmacy and put all their throat lozenges up my nose 

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Walburga: Fortunately, the Black women age gracefully

Sirius: Well you've always been a rebel

This feels like a giant pidgeon crapping on my heart.... 

'I lost someone special to me, too. Her name was Costia. She was captured by the ice nation, whose queen believed she knew my secrets. Because she was mine… they tortured her, killed her, cut off her head. I thought I'd never get over the pain, but I did. By recognizing it for what it is… weakness.' 'What is? Love?'

How to help Amazônia:

You can donate to SOS Amazônia which is one among the 100 NGOs selected as “The Largest NGOs in Brazil”.

> > > ( ENGLISH: //doe.sosamazonia.org.br/en ) < < <

And remember: - 1 USD is 4,04 reais. - 1 EUR is 4,47 reais. If you donate only $2,50 USD (10 reais) you’re helping a lot.

If you donate only $2,30 EUR (10 reais) you’re helping a lot. About people saying “the minimum value is $10”: Even if you’re not from Brazil you can donate in REAL instead of donating in USD or EUR via Paypal, so… YES, you can donate less than 10 dollars or euros. (Just don’t change the currency to USD or EUR, Paypal converts your dollars/euros to reais.)

Or you can help by signing the petitions too!

https://secure.avaaz.org/campaign/po/apocalipse_na_amazonia_40/?cdGYPob and https://www.change.org/p/impedir-o-desmatamento-e-explora%C3%A7%C3%A3o-da-amaz%C3%B4nia

It won’t take much of your time!

Translation:

Stop killing the Amazon!

To members of the Brazilian Congress, the government of Jair Bolsonaro and world leaders: As citizens around the world, we were horrified to see the rapid increase in the destruction of the Amazon rainforest in recent months. The fate of humanity is directly connected with the fate of the Amazon, and we ask that you do everything you can to protect the forest, including passing laws to protect public forests and ending illegal deforestation, and even increasing international pressure to prevent further destruction of the Amazon.

Please. Boost if possible, this is REALLY important.

Harry Potter and co. headcanons I would die for:

Ronald Weasley has eyelashes from the gods and every girl in gryffindor is jealous

Draco Malfoy looks damn fine in high heels and Astoria agrees

Sirius Black showed up to Lily Potters babyshower in drag

Percy Weasley helped Oliver Wood study for his OWL and NEWTS

Hermione lets Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil do her makeup and braid her hair while she quizzes them for exams

Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson are as close as Sirius Black and James Potter were

The whole school thought Draco and Pansy were dating until Pansy kissed Millicent Bulstrode smack on the lips in sixth year in front of the entire great hall

The golden trio have so many bizarre inside jokes about the constant trouble they find themselves in and everyone is baffled

Nymphadora Tonks went an entire month with slytherin green hair once after she saw a firstie snake getting picked on

Remus Lupin got a septum piercing in fourth year but the next full moon transformation ruined it and now he’s got a slightly deformed nose forever

After Scorpius Malfoy and Albus Potter became friends so did their mothers

Hermione Granger has got the Thunder Thighs of Aphrodite

Sirius Black had an actual crush on Minerva McGonagall and the marauders teased him about it just as much as they teased James about Lily

Scorpius Malfoy loves Game of Thrones but he got extremely offended when Rose Granger compared him to a Lannister

Ginny Weasleys first kiss was Luna Lovegood but they were never romantically involved, Luna said ‘sometimes a kiss is just a kiss’ and Ginny found that nice

After Harry came out as bisexual he and Hermione would sometimes stay up and talk about boys and often Ron would join and they’d all sit and gossip

Once Hermione called Professor Flitwick dad and then she proceeded to slam her head down on the desk and say a very bad word

Luna Lovegood made Draco Malfoy a flower crown and charmed it so he couldn’t take it off because she thought he needed it

Ginny Weasley told Snape off for being a bully and she got detention for a month

Luna Lovegood proposed to Rolf Scamander without a ring because it was an impulsive decision so instead she gave him a radish on a string and he wore it to their wedding

Ginny Weasley was Luna Lovegoods maid of honour and vice versa

Hermione spoke at Lavender Browns funeral and she told everyone about the time Lavender dried her tears after the Yule ball and told her she was beautiful

Viktor Krum, Fleur Delacour and Harry Potter get together once a year and visit Cedric Diggorys grave

Teddy Lupin wore so much eyeliner

Hermione Granger gave all her notes from her OWLs to Ginny when she was in sixth year so Ginny could study off them

Minerva McGonagall is the reason first years aren’t allowed brooms

Professor Sprout was considerably less cheerful the year after Cedric died

Bellatrix Black used to babysit little Sirius Black and decided she hated children and never wanted any he was such a menace

After Harry was moved from under the stairs he became very claustrophobic so much he couldn’t be in broom closets to snog Ginny

Fred and George Weasley were bridesmaids at Ginnys wedding

Cho Chang became friends with a lot of the hufflepuffs from Cedrics year after his death and even Fleur and Viktor

James Potter cried more than Lily on his wedding day

Albus Severus Potter made a habit of visiting the portrait of Headmaster Snape every month or so

Arthur Weasley and Molly Prewett started dating in second year

Harry Potter called Molly Weasley ‘mum’ on multiple occasions and every time she would just smile as he apologised

After the Bridge: The Full Story (Jem/Tessa)

hi Cassie! idk if you’ve noticed, but I think you’ve invoked a small (and quite entertaining) url revolution. — hornyjem

I did. I am very proud. :)

This is the full story of After the Bridge, a tale for those who might have wondered what Tessa and Jem did after they met on Blackfriars Bridge in the epilogue of Clockwork Princess. If you’ve been waiting to read it until it was done, it is now done.

Those who do not like Tessa&Jem together or Jessa sexytimes probably should skip this. (You will not miss anything that will affect your understanding of later books.) Those who like that sort of thing will find this the sort of thing they like.

After the Bridge alternates POV between Jem and Tessa. This is Part Five, the full story. As this is one short story and not chaptered, each post will contain the whole story from the beginning up to the point where that part ends so that new readers or readers who don’t remember what happened won’t have to hunt down the previous post(s.)

AFTER THE BRIDGE : Now with (sexy) art by Cassandra Jean! 

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— Queen of the South

Requested by @the-most-beautiful-broom