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reposted from my personal blog @mee-op

hopeless romantic riddle!

x gn!reader

riddle who's always thought about romance when he was a child. wondered if it really was like in the books— would he fall in love at first sight? would the light hit them just right, forming a halo around their head as though they were an angel. would there be metaphorical roses gently floating down from the sky— the moment soft and perfect. would he look into another person's eyes and think they were the one.

or would it be slow and gradual. would he slowly start to realize how his heart quickens when their hands touch. would he make excuses such as study sessions and hangouts to be with them. would he watch them from afar and try to convince himself that they were only friends, only to recognize his denial was futile.

and would there be mutual pining? would they fall for him as he did, or would he have to try and capture their heart and prove his worth to them as a partner, as a lover?

but he didn't have time to daydream and romanticize his life now. his mother had found out what he was reading during the few breaks he had and insisted that romance was useless. he only needed to focus on his studies and follow the rules.

....

it's been a while since his overblot. still a stickler for rules but he's learned to be more lenient— accepting. towards others and himself.

trey had convinced him to pick up romance books again. 'you loved these types of stories didn't you? used to talk about them when we were kids.'

and so he began reading them again. every night before bed while sipping tea, he would read love books he checked out from the school's library.

he almost forgot how much he loved them, how much he fantasized. how he daydreamed and wondered when he would find his one and only.

they were all so comforting and beautiful to him. someone who can accept you for who you are, someone who didn't mind his flaws and when he made a mistake. someone he could talk to— someone he could lean on. and someone who would do the same to him.

the late-night talks, the early morning tea, baking together, learning things about each other.

he wonders once again when he'll find his one and only.

....

it was slow and gradual, just like in the books.

the flutter of his heart when your eyes' meet. the red on his face when your hands' touch. the excuses, the study sessions. it was all there.

and so was the denial.

but the moment that removed every defense he had was when he woke up and found you in heartslabyul's kitchen. frying what seemed like sunny side up eggs and toast with an apron that said 'kiss the cook!'. tea was on the counter, hot and steaming.

when he asked why you were up so early, your answer was simple.

'i wanted to eat breakfast with you.'

....

it isn't easy to unlearn everything that was taught to you as a child. that the only thing that mattered was following the rules.

but it's been a while since his overblot, and he's becoming lenient. to others and himself.

and you've successfully cemented a plate right in the center of his fragile little heart. he isn't as reluctant as he should be when he realizes he doesn't mind.

twst requests from tiktok (part 1)

papyrus would definitely fw this genre of images

Childhood ✨️

good morning

Lord of the Rings fanart! I watched for the first time recently and loved it

[EDIT: Thanks for the love on this! Prints of this are also available on my shop for those interested!]

Surprised

i'm really interested in the path that asa's character arc is headed. i think it's going to be a really pivotal one. it's going to force her to confront her self-concept and lack of self-esteem.as we know, asa is a character who has extremely low self esteem, has suicidal tendencies, lacks close friendships, and all around is disconnected from her peers.

now she is thrust into the spotlight with people finally respecting her and idolizing her proving that she indeed has value in this world. while she outwardly denies liking fame, i think deep down she really doesnt believe this. with fame, she has external validation to prove all of her notions of herself wrong. she's finally being and celebrated for who she is. she is even called beautiful and her accomplishments are affirmed by the media and society as well. she has coveted fame which so many people especially teenagers crave and desire.

many teenagers in our society often ones who are lonely and depressed yearn to be famous. they believe that being famous will make them happier and will solve all of their problems. (wanis, 2013). people with low self esteem tended to desire to be famous since they believe it would compensate for their vulnerabilities and perceived sense of inadequacy. they tend to fear who they are and are unsatisfied with their lives and fame seems to be the natural solution for that as it may help them overcome their feelings of self-worth (noser & zeigler-hill).

boys tend to believe that it will make them happy while girls are more likely to think that it will make them happier in school (wanis, 2013). tying this in with asa, she has mentioned that she has little desire to establish relationships with her classmates. deep down she probably she genuinely does. she is completely alone with no one who cares about her not even her parents. fame finally has given her this. people care about her. they like her. they notice her. her status in school has probably drastically changed because of this. she is probably no longer bullied because her classmates finally respect her and love her.

on this note, i immediately think of mean girls. cady heron is a social outcast in her new school. she eventually is able to rise in the social hierarchy and insert herself into the plastics who hold influence and power in the school. she eventually becomes just as self-centered and egotistical as them, losing herself to popularity. this form of social influence and power genuinely does corrupt. when you go from a nobody to a person who is noticed and valued, it does something to you. you lose yourself, your self-concept changes. as professor of psychology mitch prinstein states regarding popularity, teens "become almost addicted to any type of attention from peers" (kris, 2017)

for someone like asa, someone with little self-esteem, the external validation will fill temporarily fill the void of loneliness, depression, isolation, lack of appreciation, and purpose but this is nothing without a sense of internal validation. you are forever chasing that high of being appreciated all the while not loving yourself. external validation cannot fill this void. you will be empty and hollow relying on people's words to uplift you.

and we can see with denji who is forever chasing that high of being chainsaw man. without it, he feels like he is nothing. he is aimless because in the end he doesn't value himself. there is no fake it until you make it even with fame. when that fame goes away, you are left with nothing but yourself. at the end of the day, you are the only one capable of uplifting yourself.

references

Patrick Wanis

Teen Loneliness, Low Self-Esteem and the Desire for Fame ~ Patrick Wanis

In this week’s Success Newsletter, I would like to share the findings of a study which reveals the link between teenage low self-esteem, lon

KQED

Being Popular: Why it Consumes Teens and Continues to Affect Adults | KQED

The kinds of popularity adolescents and teens experience can affect the relationships they have later as adults, according to Mitch Prinstei

Silver Bullet Masterlist

General

Silver Bullet

ignorance is bliss (ask)

daily life of a bartender (ask)

Headcanons (ask)

Mc’s Background 1

MC’s background 2

Sick (ask)

Gangleaders special drinks + drunken state

Warning (ask)

The Moth  ( Broken link )

Special tricks and HC (video attached)

The “Special” drink challenge (mostly Floyd, Rook // ask)

Grim + daily life (ask)

World Headcanons

MC headcanons

Prized, Precious you 

Silver Bullet Fic Ch1, Ch2 & Ch3 (on going)

Love for MC (discord // reader x MC/bartender)

More love for MC (reader x MC/bartender)

Grim

First encounter + living situation

Grim + daily life (ask)

feeding peanuts (ask)

Heartslabyul

Lovedrunk (Riddle // ask)

Image (Trey)

Information’s Curse (Cater)

Diamond Candies (Cater)

Wild Card (Ace)

Ruffian (Deuce)

First costumers (Ace & Deuce)

Savanaclaw

Doorways (Leona)

Wounded (Leona)

Leona’s threat

Two polar opposites (Leona & Vil // ask)

Not so bad after all (Jake)

Octavinelle

Noisy costumers (Azul, Jamil & Vil/ // ask)

On an errand (Jade & Floyd // ask)

Give and take (Azul)

Injured (Jade // ask)

Stalking (Jade // ask)

General Azul HC (ask)

Deals with Devils (Floyd)

The “Special” drink challenge (mostly Floyd, Rook // ask)

Scarabia

Jamil’s birthday (ask)

Noisy costumers (Azul, Jamil & Vil // ask)

Pomefiore

Two polar opposites (Leona & Vil // ask)

Noisy costumers (Azul, Jamil & Vil // ask)

First impression (Vil, Rook & Epel // ask)

Violent meeting (Vil // ask)

Happy Birthday, my dear~ (Vil)

The “Special” drink challenge (mostly Floyd, Rook // ask)

Ignihyde

Sadly there’s nothing for now

Diasomnia

First encounter (Malleus)

Crucial Lesson (Malleus)

Waltz (Malleus)

First encounter (Sebek)

NRC Staff / leaders / others

Crowley pushing the duty (ask)

MC’s hurt + song (Crowley & Crewel, video attached)

MC’s 2 dads being dads (Crowley & Crewel)

Overprotective Crewel

Pet’s are similar to their Masters: Pt1 & Pt2 

Author’s tag!

jackplushie

orangelemonsstuff

forgwater

emyluwinter

dandelionwhisp

scertifiedsavanaclawstan

galaxyshine24-7