AS IF! ― SERIES MASTERLIST

darilaros (princess) │ Chapter 2: Dolls

terms of endearment ‘verse: see my Masterlist for the correct series order!

Chapter 1 │Chapter 2 │Chapter 3 │Chapter 4 │Chapter 5 │Chapter 6 │Chapter 7 │Chapter 8 (Work In Progress!)

Synopsis: Lady Aemma brings a new child into the world—you. As the second daughter of Prince Viserys, soon to be King, you experience firsthand what it means to belong to the House of the Dragon.

Hello! My apologies for the wait. There was a whole mess of stuff that killed my drive to write for a few days. BUT, I’ve managed to write this one, featuring baby!Babey as a POV character! I’ve tried hard to keep it in a ‘small person’ voice, which got real old real fast, lol. Keep in mind that she’s around 3 years old in this one, so she’s not hella mature or anything. My thanks to @ewanmitchellcrumbs​ for reading this asshole over, lol.

TRIGGERS: child doing child things, child narrating Episode 1 of HotD, character death.

Keep reading

Are we still friends? | Masterlist

Summary: Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw and you have been friends since you could remember, just friends (unfortunately) but when you are called back to Top Gun everything changes.  You have to keep on the down-low that Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell is your father. Rooster, who you’d been able to read since you were young, seems unreadable to you now. Other pilots that are usually lining up for you, don’t seem that interested (much to your dismay). You are apparently now unable to keep your feeling at bay and oh, right. You have a life-and-death mission in your hands, which is the icing on the cake. Lots of angsty discussions, lots of jealousy, and even dog fights. What else can you expect from a mission on Top Gun?

bradley 'rooster' bradshaw masterlist

playlist

prologue | chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four | chapter five | chapter six | chapter seven | chapter eight | chapter nine* | chapter ten | chapter eleven | chapter twelve | chapter thirteen | chapter fourteen | chapter fifteen| chapter sixteen | chapter seventeen (scheduled a weeks from now- read early on my ko-fii!!!)

updates on monday, wednesday, friday

also, smut: *

˚ ༘♡. 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐘 ೃ࿐

a 7 part jjk drabble series based on the explicit version of ‘seven’. release tbc.

how it will work: each day of the week is assigned a different lyric from the single ‘seven’ by jjk. each drabble will feature its own environment & kink(s) that correspond to the associated lyric.

series masterlist:

1. monday: sęx in the workplace - “got you skipping work and meetings”

2. tuesday: sęx in a car - “its the way that you can ride”

3. wednesday: sęx outside - “i kiss your waist and ease your mind”

4. thursday: sęx in a hot tub / bathtub - “you know night after night, i’ll be fuckin' you right”

5. friday: sęx in a secret space - “so break me off another time”

6. saturday: sęx while gaming - “you wrap around me and you give me life”

7. sunday: sęx in the kitchen - “wind it back, i’ll take it slow, leave you with that afterglow”

pairing: seven!jungkook x f!reader (afab) genre(s)&au(s): non idol, slice of life, established relationship, smut, fluff, minor tiny angst warnings & smut warnings: all drabbles will come with their own warnings upon release w/c: all drabbles will come with their own word count upon release rating: 18+ banner: @caelesjjk

taglist [open]: - comment below! - ageless & empty blogs will not be included & minors will be blocked. update: AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE IGNORED

note1: this is something new that ive never tried before, so i do hope people will show it some love ♡ note2: thank you to my sarah for not just the banner but for also listening & sharing ideas over the last 2 days to create this series

f1letters' formula 1 fic recs - pt. 1

✨ SURPRISE! ✨ as an early Christmas gift for all of you, and since I will be continuing the 'midnights' series during the holiday season as well, I decided to make a small list with some of my all-time favourite stories!

I tried to include a variety of different drivers to the best of my ability, which was harder than I thought it would be, since some drivers don't have a lot of stories available (every single person writes for alex, lance or esteban deserves a giant smooch from me, I swear), or I don't read them as much. for other ones, I have like 20+ stories saved so it was really hard to stick to only a few! haha

anyways, I hope you enjoy this little present from me and I encourage you guys to check out all of these amazing and talented writers!

happy holidays to all of you lovely people! 💜 - cat

max verstappen | mv1

'long time lovers' || @libraryofloveletters

'little verstappen' || @lxclerc

'traitor' || @lxclerc

'dog days' || @tierneysodegaard || 13 parts

'our dirty little secret' || @timetorace || 2 parts

daniel ricciardo | dr3

'stargazing' || @art-outlaw || 28 parts

'memories hold me hostage' || @libraryofloveletters || 2 parts

'you abandoned me' || @lovingperfectionsblog || 2 parts

'sweet boy' || @unluckyhoneybee

'twin flame' || @vinvantae || 26 parts

lando norris | ln4

'breaking the rules' || @f1goat || 7 parts

'mini norris' !! @unluckyhoneybee || 2 parts

sebastian vettel | sv5

'after all this time' || @kates-dirty-sister

'chapters from an old book' || @libraryofloveletters

'thin walls' || @tierneysodegaard

pierre gasly | pg10

'pillow' || @illicitlimerence-writes || 4 parts

'one true love' || @mytinycrazymind

'secret' || @mytinycrazymind

'fake it till you make it' || @smoooothoperator || 6 parts

charles leclerc | cl16

'a moment in time' || @hey-kae || 2 parts

'babies and bahrain' || @illicitlimerence-writes

'little enzo' || @mytinycrazymind || 2 parts

'maybe summer doesn't have to end' || @rebelwrites || 11 parts

'the real deal' || @rebelwrites

lance stroll | ls18

'sugar plum' || @libraryofloveletters || 2 parts

'summer lovin' || @libraryofloveletters

'yule shoot your eye out' || @lovelytsunoda

'the second one' || @unluckyhoneybee

alex albon | aa23

'made in the a.m' || @lovelytsunoda

esteban ocon | eo31

'hot n cold' || @lovelytsunoda

'be my date' || @timetorace || 2 parts

lewis hamilton | lh44

'love you from the sidelines' || @libraryofloveletters

'old flame' || @lostinlewis || 5 parts

'what you can't have' || @luvth0t

mick schumacher | ms47

'dress' || @daydreamingleclerc

'lost in japan' || @illicitlimerence-writes

'romeo & juliet' || @illicitlimerence-writes

'see you later' || @illicitlimerence-writes

'sparkling' || @illicitlimerence-writes

carlos sainz | cs55

'in this lifetime or another' || @libraryofloveletters

'cockblock' || @lxclerc

'nothing happened' || @timetorace

george russell | gr63

'never really over' || @charlewiss-writes

'who you belong to' || @russellsppttemplates

multiple drivers

'bad omens' || @lxclerc || cl16 x pg10

'moth to a flame' || @lxclerc || cs55 x cl16 || 2 parts

'all too well' || @targaryenluv || lh44 x pg10

'are you happy now?' || @oyesmendes || pg 10 x gr63 || 3 parts

PS: if you want, feel free to leave your recommendations in the comments and/or message me! i'm always looking for new fics to read and I'd love to know your favourites! 💜

"Through One Thousand Worlds and Ten Thousand Lifetimes" Fic Masterlist

Summary: Aemond Targaryen promised you that no matter what, he would always find you. Through a thousand worlds and ten thousand lifetimes, he would search until he found you. And you promised to wait in all of them. And yet, every time you're pulled apart by tragedy, resulting in his death.

Will you and Aemond be able to rewrite your destiny as star-crossed lovers? Or was your love doomed from the start?

Fandom(s): House of the Dragon, The Last Kingdom, World on Fire, Trigger Point, High Life

Main Pairing(s): Aemond Targaryen x Reader

Other Pairing(s): Osferth x Reader, Tom Bennett x Reader, Billy Washington x Reader, Ettore x Reader

Chapter One: The Dance of the Dragons

Chapter Two: The Princess and the Monk

Chapter Three: A Soldier's Kiss (Coming July 24th)

Chapter Four: London Calling (Coming July 31st)

Chapter Five: Into The Unknown (Coming August 7th)

Chapter Six: Last Chance (Coming August 14th) - FINAL

WTF I'VE BEEN CRYING MY EYES OUT BECAUSE OF THIS AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR PART 2!!!

fragile line | daniel ricciardo

pairing: daniel ricciardo x driver!reader

You and I walk a fragile line I have known it all this time But I never thought I'd live to see it break

what happens when the driver daniel falls in love with, ends up being the one who brings his career to a screeching halt? word count: 7.7k (im so sorry) warnings/tags: fluff-ish, plot with implied/very little smut, angst, mclaren danny, zak brown (gross), some incorrect f2 stats but whatever, time jumps, really just a lot of angst, its a rollercoaster

“What do you know?”

“What do you know?” Daniel repeated the question back to you, the emphasis making it clear as day that you both carried the same career-altering information. 

His signature grin and comforting optimism were nowhere to be seen. Instead, Daniel’s expression could be described in a variety of ways. Solemn, disappointed, hurt. 

“What was I supposed to do?” You asked, going straight to the defensive. You couldn’t be helpful in this scenario, you just needed to explain yourself. He wouldn’t understand it from your perspective, but you had to try. 

“Not take the seat,” he offered a solution, as if it was that simple. “My god, I mean, they’re cutting my contract early, Y/N. For you.”

“For the sake of the team,” you corrected. You had no say in this. McLaren had plenty of driver options for the 2023 season. There were rumours of Daniel’s contract coming to an end a year early anyway, everyone heard them, everyone ignored them. The only thing that remained uncertain for a while was who would replace him should the rumours be true.

You. 

“You don’t even like McLaren.” You told him, voice raising a little as if that helped get the point across. “You’ve struggled with this team since day one.”

“That doesn’t mean I want to stop racing.”

“McLaren is not the team for you and you know this.”

Daniel scoffed, eyebrows twitching, “Did Zak tell you to say that?”

It was a rhetorical question, but Daniel noticed the way your bottom lip quivered. He caught the way your eyes dropped from his, even just for a split second. There was something unspoken between you, something that weighed on your mind and Daniel stepped forward, wanting to know what exactly it was. 

“Zak-” you started, reluctant to even say this. “-he doesn’t know I’m here. I’m not supposed to be here. I’m not supposed to talk to you or anyone about it, not until your announcement comes out.”

Here meaning Daniel’s flat in Monaco. The place you spent more nights at than your own. You played it off by saying his view was better but that was such a bullshit answer. Daniel’s flat always felt more like home than yours ever did. 

You had formally met the Australian driver a few years ago, but god did time fly. It was at a race in Monza. You could pretend you didn’t know the date but of course you did, you had it memorised. September 3rd, 2020. There was no way you could forget the day your life changed for the better. 

Or possibly, for the worse. It was up in the air at this point. 

You were new to the Formula 2 series. The only female driver on the grid as you raced with Prema alongside Mick Schumacher. F3 proved to be quite a successful stint for you and you had your eyes set on the coveted Formula 1 series. You wanted to be in the big leagues. 

Daniel saw that. He saw how determined you were to not only make waves in Motorsport, but to make something of yourself. You trained just as hard, if not harder than the other drivers in the junior series and Daniel had seen that for a while. He was often surprised to see you at the hotel gym, already working up a sweat when he walked in at a little after 6am. He would be even more surprised when he saw you there in the evening when other drivers went and called it a night or even went and celebrated. 

Your race weekends were the same as F1 weekends, but you just had limited ones. It was a shorter season, less intense, but whenever you were there. Daniel saw you. He saw you and he paid attention. He even rooted for you, very publicly as well whenever he could, despite the two of you never having exchanged a word. 

The first time you heard about Daniel cheering you on was after the Monaco race, quite early on into your first season. You qualified 7th, not ideal for a track like Monaco where the opportunities to overtake were far and few between, but somehow you did it. And then you did it again. And you could say it was luck but it was really smart strategy and an insane amount of driver skill that had you finishing fifth. In Monaco. 

Those were Daniel’s words. He was asked pre-race if he watched the F2 run and he said of course. He said he “wouldn’t have missed it for the world,” wanting to see what you could do this weekend. 

“It’s not luck, she’s incredibly talented,” Daniel had told the Sky Sports reporter. “She’s doing big things in the series, and I’m rooting for her. Truly. It’s rare a driver comes around with such raw natural talent, where you look at them and you know racing’s just in their blood, but it’s in hers. I would love to see her in Formula 1 one day.”

You watched that interview clip about twenty times. Daniel Ricciardo, the Daniel Ricciardo who had won Monaco a few years back, was complimenting you. He was rooting for you. 

It wasn’t until Monza, nearing the end of your season that he finally approached you. 

“I want to work with you,” Daniel said, straight to the point. You were in the middle of stretching in the hotel's fitness centre. It was only Thursday, the race weekend itself had barely started but Daniel knew he’d find you in there. 

You pulled your airpods out and looked up at him in the mirror, “You what?”

“I want to work with you,” Daniel repeated, this time sitting down on the floor next to you. He kept your stare in the reflection. “I’m not a trainer by any means, but I want to work with you. I want to see you in Formula 1.”

You were flattered, honoured really, but you didn’t know what that entailed. “Work with me how?”

“Well, regular fitness training for starters,” he said. “But managing, really. I want to help you with everything that it takes to move up. Media training, mental preparedness, finding sponsors, getting you in touch with the right people. Let me help you, Y/N.”

You weren’t sure what brought this on. Part of you was convinced it was because he knew this would look good on his behalf. If you did make it to Formula 1 and Daniel’s name was attached to yours, he’d look like a genius. A hero. He would be known as the first person from F1 to publicly support you. 

But that wasn’t what it was at all. When you agreed and accepted his help, you soon came to learn that Daniel didn’t want to be in your spotlight at all. He found the opportunities that you needed and then stepped back. He didn’t mention to the media at all that he was helping you, he didn’t see a need to. He saw your potential and he truly wanted to help you make something off.

So there he was during the off season, meeting you in London where you resided. He trained with you, set you up with the right people, did weekly check-ins, he really was like a sort of manager. 

He was there during pre-season testing the following year, literally. He stood in the Prema garage like he was just another member of the team. No one really questioned it, not when you said he was acting as a mentor to you. Everyone loved Daniel’s presence there and he was told he was welcome whenever. 

He was there during race weekends whenever he could find time in his own busy schedule. He was never there during the actual race, needing that time to prepare for his own, but he always watched from his drivers room or had someone in his ear updating where you were and what was happening.

He was there in Silverstone, when you crashed during Saturday's Sprint Race.

It was one of the last sessions of the day, Daniel had already finished qualifying and he was standing in the back of your garage, arms crossed over his chest, eyes glued to the screen. 

He was the first voice you heard when you spun, losing the breaks in mere seconds and all you could do was brace yourself for the impact of the barriers. 

“Tell me you’re okay.” Daniel’s voice came through your radio. Not your engineer, not your team principal. Daniel. “Say something, sweets, tell me you're okay.”

Sweets, he called you. But only ever in private, or in front of close friends. What started as a joke when you complained about him not having any sweets in his flat the first time you visited in Monaco, stuck. 

But everyone had access to the team radios. It could be heard by other engineers, other teams, fans even and those watching at home should F1TV choose to broadcast it.

Of course they did. They aired the exchange for everyone to hear and it spread like wildfire. It was all anyone on social media could talk about. 

“Say something, sweets. Tell me you’re okay.” 

“I’m okay,” you sputtered out, hands shaking as you unclenched them. It was an instinct to pull them off the steering wheel and tuck your arms to your chest, physically bracing where you could. 

“Good,” Daniel breathed out a very obvious sigh of relief. “Good.” He paused, and then with a quiet chuckle added, “What the fuck was that then?” 

You laughed in response, needing the humour at such a traumatic time. You had crashed before, but this was a bad one. You didn’t even need to step out of the vehicle to know you were lucky to not feel any immediate injuries, but there was a ringing in your ear and the adrenaline was preventing you from really understanding the damage your body had sustained. 

It wouldn’t have helped, though, to have gotten an earful, not like it was your fault anyway. It also wouldn’t have helped if you were asked again and again if you were okay. The more people asked, the more stressed you would grow. Daniel knew you needed a bit of lightheartedness at this time. 

“No brakes, Danny,” you answered through a soft laugh.

“That just sounds like an excuse to me,” he muttered, the sarcasm evident even through the crackling radio.

“Are you going to continue to question my driving abilities or are you going to send medical out here to help me?”

That whole interaction went viral. From the radio message, to the clips of Daniel accompanying you to the medical centre, to the photos of the two of you smiling in the paddock despite the bruising on your body, the concussion you were diagnosed with and the instruction from the doctor that you were not stable enough to race on Sunday.  

Which sucked, to put it plainly. But you were with Daniel. He made the situation bearable. With his arm around your shoulder, he walked you to the car at the end of the day, having waited with you the whole time. 

People speculated, of course. Questions were asked. 

Why was Daniel Ricciardo paying such close attention to you? Why did he get over the radio when he crashed? Why did it sound so flirty? Had he been in your garages the whole time and no one noticed? Was he a mentor? A friend? More?

You had put out a statement when you got to the hotel, thanking everyone for the kind words and well wishes. You shared that you would not be driving on Sunday and you also shared that you were thankful for the support of Daniel Ricciardo, your mentor, who reminded you that even the best of the best crash out sometimes. 

Mentor, you publicly called him That’s what he was, right? Or trainer. Or Manager. Or friend, really. There were a lot of words to describe his relationship to you. 

People online didn’t believe it. They thought there was more because, who looks at each other like that if they’re not fucking? 

But you weren’t. Honest to god, that line with Daniel was never crossed. You never even considered it. Always content with his companionship and his advice, you didn’t want anything physical or romantic. 

At least, you thought you didn’t. 

Daniel dragged you into his room instead of letting you go up to yours because you were under strict instructions to not be left alone for the next twelve hours should the concussion worsen. 

“I’m glad you’re okay,” he said, handing you a glass of water. “I know I joked over the radio, but I was worried. It wasn’t a pretty crash.”

“Are any crashes pretty?”

He sat down next to you, closer than normal considering when he rested his arm over the back of the couch, his fingers were within the distance needed to play with the strands of your hair. 

He sucked in a breath through his teeth, “I guess it depends on the driver. I make the crashes pretty.” 

The comedic gasp you let out as you clenched your chest had him laughing. 

“Daniel Ricciardo, are you calling me ugly?”

“Don’t twist my words!” He exclaimed, eyes squinting as his smile widened. “I said I was pretty.” 

You hummed, “You pretty much said I made the crush ugly.” 

“I didn’t say you were ugly,” Daniel playfully tugged on a strand of your hair. “You’re not- I mean, you-”

And then the humour faded. He met your eyes, his hand fell to your shoulder. He was still smiling but it was the sort of gentle smile one wears when they figure out the answer to a question that had been eating at them for a while. 

Something clicked for Daniel. At this very moment. 

He wasn’t going to let it escape him. 

“Pretty doesn’t do you justice,” Daniel told you, voice lowering. “You’re breaktaking, Y/N. On the racetrack, at home, at events, you put everyone around you to shame. And it’s not- it isn’t just your appearance, it’s you. Everything about you. Your heart, your charisma, the way your eyes light up when you smile but only if you’re talking to people you like,” he chuckled, having experienced it first hand and having seen the way you don’t look nearly as pleased when someone you dislike approaches you. 

You were speechless, though. Frozen where you sat as this admission came out of seemingly nowhere. 

And Daniel was attractive, that was an undeniable fact, he was everything anyone could ever want in a man. But you never allowed yourself to look at him the way other people would. He was your trainer, manager, mentor, friend. 

You had no words to explain the way he was staring at you now. Nor could you explain why it made you feel more alive than driving a racecar at inhumane speeds ever could. 

Daniel took another breath, eyes never leaving yours. “You are unlike anyone I have ever come across and I know, in my lifetime, I will never find someone who could ever compare to even a fraction of who you are.”

There was no way you could continue to be just friends after those words passed his lips. 

You kissed him. You had to. It wasn’t like there was anything you could say that would match what he had already said, nor could you even find the words. 

You kissed him and Daniel pulled you onto his laps, your legs moving to straddle either side of his hips. His hands roamed your body, sliding up the Prema shirt you still had on as your tongue roamed every possible inch of his mouth. 

His hand gripped your waist, rolling you over top of him so you could feel in a matter of seconds how this conversation had now taken a turn. His cock started to harden, constricted by his pants, but you still felt it underneath you each time he shifted, each time you grinded against him. 

When you reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it off, Daniel leaned back, both of you taking that second to catch your breath and question if you were really going to do this.

“Is this a mistake?” You whispered, your thumb gently tracing over his lips. Your working relationship was perfect. This could ruin everything. You had fears, doubts, worries. One night could lead to dozens of complications. 

But Daniel shook his head and all of those thoughts vanished.

“No,” he said, sounding so sure of himself with that one syllable. “I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life but you are not one of them.”

That was the only validation you needed. You kissed him again, more lust, more passion, than before as Daniel stood up, carrying you towards the bed at the back of the room. He dropped you down on the edge of it, smiling at the squeal that escaped your lips.

Daniel wanted to worship you every way he could. He was gentle with you, with your body, as he dipped his head between your thighs, making you feel a wave of euphoria that no one had ever brought you too before. 

It wasn’t until you were begging for more did Daniel realise he didn’t need to be gentle the entire night. He slid two fingers past your folds, lifting his head and hovering his body over yours, wanting to feel your desperate breaths hit his face as he rapidly thrusted his digits in and out of you, your walls clenching around him.

When he attached his lips to that spot on your neck, his teeth pressing against your skin, you saw stars. Daniel’s motions didn’t let up as you came around his fingers, loving the way your legs shook and how you dragged your hand through the hair on the back of his head.

He was cautious about doing anything else, knowing you were injured, he didn’t want to overstimulate you or cause any more pain. 

But you needed him. You reached for the zipper of his pants and tugged it down, telling Daniel you wanted this, as if the way you looked up at him didn’t already make that perfectly clear. 

He was careful when he entered you, patient. The tip of his cock slid past your folds slowly and he kissed your collarbone so gently you almost didn’t feel it as you adjusted to his size, quiet moans emitting from the back of your throat. 

He had praised you before, but only ever at the race track, so there was something so familiar yet so foreign about the way he whispered against your skin. It lit a fire within you.

“You take me so well, sweets,” he fought back a groan as your walls tightened around him when you clenched your legs. “So good for me.”

It was safe to say the dynamic between you two changed after that night. 

Daniel adored you already, admired you greatly for your achievements and growth in the sport. But now he fought with himself every weekend, knowing that he couldn’t touch you how he wanted. He couldn’t show you the attention he so desperately wanted. He couldn’t kiss you when you got that podium in Belgium, despite finding a way to sneak out of the pre-race duties for a second to run to the barrier to be there for you with the rest of the Prema team. 

Whatever was going on between you, it was unlabelled and it was private. The rest of the world didn’t need to know you were sleeping with the man you looked up to, the one who helped you become a great athlete in such a short period of time. 

People continued to speculate. You were private, sure, but you weren’t overly careful. 

You were seen landing in Monaco over the summer. You were spotted hanging out with Daniel on plenty of occasions. Even though you kept your hands off of each other and refused to act like anything more than friends out in public, you were different when you returned after the break. You both were. Everyone noticed. 

Daniel was, if it was even possible, happier. And you were less stressed it seemed. While you were still fighting a constant battle of being the only female in F2, it no longer seemed as heavy because the weight of it wasn’t just on your shoulders anymore. Daniel was there too. 

It wasn’t just physical, what you had. The emotional connection you shared was undeniable. Daniel was always there for you, and you, him. During the bad days, the good ones, and everyday in between. 

When you finished the season 5th in the drivers championship, the only person you wanted to celebrate with was Daniel. He was so proud of you. He watched you go from finishing 13th last year to 5th. He played a huge part in that, but when you tried to tell him that, he only brushed it off, saying that it was all you, he was just happy to be there for the ride. 

It was his idea for you to test drive for McLaren at the end of the year, too. ‘We’ll get you in a real F1 car’ he said. And you didn’t question it when the offer was brought forward to participate in a few practice sessions. It was exhilarating and terrifying and you cried tears of joy when you stepped out of his car because this was what you dreamed of. Driving a Formula 1 car. 

Now you just needed a permanent seat and Daniel wanted that for you too. He was your biggest supporter, and you only grew closer as the days went on.

You met his family over the holidays. He spent New Years Eve in London with you. 

When the season started again, he spent more time with you and Prema. When there were no scheduled F2 races during F1 weekends, you accompanied him in the McLaren garage. 

At this point, quite a few people knew you were together, or at least they assumed it.

You didn’t post about it, you didn’t want to, you didn’t need to. Daniel didn’t need to show you off, nor did you feel obligated to let everyone know you were with him. What you had was private, it was sacred, it was only for the two of you. 

But of course whenever you had a good performance, whether it be from a practice session, qualifying or a race, he’d share your celebration picture to his Instagram story. 

“Would you ever do a shoey?” Daniel asked you one Tuesday night, zooming in on a photo of you, more specifically on the smile on your face as you clenched your second place trophy from Imola on Sunday. 

You rolled your eyes but the smile was impossible to hide as he came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, tugging you into his chest. 

“Next time you win,” Daniel suggested with a laugh. “I expect a shoey.”

“I’m not Australian.”

“You’re dating one, sweets.”

You never actually discussed what you were. The term boyfriend-girlfriend seemed so childish. Dating was, in a sense, accurate, but again, there were no labels. He had your heart, you had his. That was the only thing that mattered. 

“The world doesn’t know that,” you pointed out. 

“They kind of do,” Daniel kissed your cheek, giving your side a squeeze as he stepped aside to help you prepare dinner. 

You weren’t even sure when you fell into such a domestic lifestyle but there you were, practically moved into Daniel’s place in Monaco at this point  and he was at your side, chopping carrots for the salad while you prepared the chicken breasts. 

“A shoey would confirm it,” you glanced up at him, but the smile on his face told you he wasn’t completely against the idea. 

Daniel stepped behind you, fingers playfully pinching your waist, “Just think about it. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to. I just reckon it would be entertaining for everyone.”

He didn’t bring it up again, not even when you got third in Spain and didn’t do it. It was your first time getting a back to back podium since you started racing and of course it was something to celebrate, but the idea of a shoey made your stomach churn. You weren’t sure if you were ready for the world to know about your commitment to Daniel. 

You walked a thin line, being with him. And while you enjoyed every possible minute spent with him, you knew the world was cruel. The second you officially went public, you’d lose respect in the motorsport industry. 

The only female F2 driver dating an F1 driver? How scandalous.

Despite the rumours, the correct rumours, you were still in a bubble with him. You could pretend you were just friends, close friends. The tabloids had nothing to go off except your polite interactions and maybe a little too friendly smiles and so what if you were there in the McLaren garage cheering him on? 

You were his biggest supporter and he was yours.

But it didn’t help that while your performance was improving, his was rapidly declining. While you had less races than his, already your stats were better. You qualified in the top 5 for the first three races. You finished second in Imola, third in Spain, already better than how you started the season last year.

Monaco was next. Daniel loved Monaco, you both did. Everyone did, it was the pinnacle of Formula 1. 

It was unfortunate that your weekends ended up so drastically different. 

Daniel qualified 14th and then finished 13th. He wasn’t proud of it, but he did his best to hide his disappointment for you, especially since you were starting on the front row, P2, for the feature race. 

And somehow, you won. 

After trailing behind Drugovich for the majority of the race, you were starting to believe you would finish behind him too. And you probably would have, had there not been a safety car almost six laps after he boxed for fresh tyres, giving you the advantage of newer tyres and less wasted time. It was a strategy your team was banking on, waiting for a safety car. It was risky, but it paid off. Overtaking was nearly impossible with Formula 1 cars, but you had a better chance in your series and somehow, by the grace of god, you did it. You pulled ahead and swiped the lead from Felipe. 

You made history that weekend. The first female F2 driver to not only podium, but to win at Monaco. You gripped that first place trophy so tight your hand turned red. 

Usually, F2 didn’t draw nearly as big of a crowd, but this weekend was different. Everyone was a fan of the series after that performance, a fan of you. You saw people in the crowd wearing Red Bull gear, Ferrari merch, McLaren hats, and they were all applauding you. 

Of course, you were blown away by the support. Hearing your national anthem play was an incredible sound. There were tears in your eyes and your entire body was trembling, yet somehow you managed to find Daniel. Right in front, with your team. 

He was so proud of you. 

Despite his shitty qualifying, despite knowing he had such a low shot at earning points at his race that was in just under an hour, he was there for you. You couldn’t tell if he was cheering the loudest, or if you were just so prone to finding him in a crowd that you couldn’t process anything or anyone else. 

You weren’t sure what came over you, but once you grabbed the champagne bottle, you found yourself taking your shoe off as well. As Felipe and Théo started spraying their bottles in celebration, you poured the bubbly liquid into the sole of your racing shoe and lifted it up to your lips, pointing directly at Daniel who couldn’t believe what he was watching. 

It was rancid, as you figured it would. It was champagne out of a sweaty shoe, you knew it wouldn’t taste good, but it was a shoey and it was for Daniel. Felipe patted your back, laughing at your reaction and muttering something about how Daniel would get a kick out of that. 

He was right, but Daniel wasn’t the only one who found it entertaining. 

Your name was once again trending following the Monaco Grand Prix. Not Checo’s, even though he won the F1 race. Your name. 

Not that you really cared that night. How could you care about what the internet was saying when the man you were with told you that he loved you for the first time? Nothing online mattered, not when Daniel took your face in his hands and told you he was madly in love with you. He was proud, he was happy, he was in love. 

And you knew you loved him too. You had known this for a while. Monaco was just the perfect time to say it. 

After going about as public as you could without physically coming out and saying you were dating the Australian driver, Monaco was the perfect place to tell him you loved him. You were on cloud 9, you were making history, you were in love. 

You continued to deny, or at least ignore, the rumours that followed, still. You both did. You were in love with each other, not the whole world. Things would get complicated if you announced you were dating. You were vying for a Formula 1 seat and you wanted it without Daniels’ influence. 

But at the following race in Baku you were asked similar questions. 

“Your shoey last week, did that have anything to do with Daniel Ricciardo being there to cheer you on? You two have gotten pretty close in the last few months, he’s one of your mentors, isn’t he?” 

You shifted your weight to one leg, wondering what the fuck kind of post-qualifying question that was. You had just completed three back to back podiums, you were on a hot streak now, starting third at this next race and the reporter only cared about what happened at the podium celebration last weekend.

“Sorry, did you have a question about this week's race?” You asked, and when he stammered over his words, you just nodded and walked away, a tight smile on your face. 

Daniel’s conversation went a bit differently. 

“Y/N’s shoey last week, we all saw it. Was that your influence?”

“Yeah I never thought she’d actually do it, it was sweet,” Daniel laughed. “It was great though, I happily pass the tradition onto her.”

“She’s really come along in Formula 2 since she started back in 2020, do you think she has what it takes to be Formula 1’s first full-time female driver?”

“Absolutely,” there wasn’t a shred of doubt or hesitation. He was happy to talk about you, to explain to the rest of the world why you were up and coming and should be taken seriously as a real contender for a Formula 1 seat. He probably would have continued on if his PR rep hadn’t pulled him away, reminding him of other duties.

The next few races were similar to your first ones. A couple more podiums, some outstanding qualifying sessions, more history being made. Your phone was blowing up weekly, everybody wanted to talk to you now and you knew Daniel had something to do with it. Him constantly sharing the faith he had in you did wonders for your reputation. 

You might have been on top of the world, but you were well aware you were alone up there.

Daniels’ performances were anything but newsworthy. He had gotten a few points in Austria and France, but nothing to be extremely proud of, especially when he compared his 9th place finish at the Red Bull Ring to your first place podium, making it your second one this season. 

He never let his disappointment for himself and McLaren stand in the way of your achievements. In fact, you didn’t often speak about the races when you were together. You were aware Daniel was having issues with the team, with Zak, with the car, but he didn’t want to weigh you down with his own problems, even though you assured him time and time again you could handle it. 

Really, if Daniel had come to you with his struggles, you would have thought twice when Zak Brown approached you prior to the Hungarian Grand Prix. You probably would have slammed the door to your drivers room in his face if you knew how Daniel was being treated at McLaren. 

But Daniel held his cards close to his chest while Zak laid his all out on the table.

“If a spot opened up for you,” he said, after spending the last ten minutes talking about the rich history of the team and praising your accolades. “Would you consider it?”

It wasn’t an official contract, just the start of a conversation that could lead to one.

Of course you thought of Daniel. And Lando, having grown close with him simply through Daniel. 

“For 2024?” You asked, knowing both of them were set to continue driving through to at least the end of 2023. 

“No,” Zak shook his head. You didn’t like how harsh his tone had turned, having no remorse for what he was about to say. “Daniel’s contract would be ending early.”

You leaned back in your chair, fingers tapping the table as you tried to recall Daniel ever telling you that he was leaving McLaren. “Is he- he wants out?”

“It’s mutual,” Zak assured you. “He knows we can’t give him the car he wants and unfortunately, he’s not delivering what we need. We had high hopes with Daniel, but the working relationship isn’t what any of us thought it would be.”

It’s mutual. Those two words was all it took to convince you that Zak Brown and Daniel had already had a conversation about this, about terminating the contract a year early. 

It didn’t help that Zak brought up your test sessions in the McLaren from last year, pointing out that you had better times than Lando, even. He went on to praise what you were doing this year at Prema and said, multiple times, that you would be an asset to McLaren should you choose to go that route.

And who were you to turn that down?

A team principal of a Formula 1 team wanted to sign you. Was it unfortunate that it was Daniel’s seat? Yes, obviously this situation was less than ideal, but he wanted out. You were convinced he wanted out, that he was done with McLaren. A 45 minute conversation with Zak Brown convinced you of that.

You should have been wary when at the end of the conversation he said, “Don’t tell anyone about this, yet. You know how the public can be, let’s just keep this to ourselves for the meantime.”

“But I can talk to Dan, right?” You asked. 

Zak knew you were dating Daniel, it was a little harder to hide that from his team than it was the rest of the world. Maybe that’s why hesitated before answering, knowing that keeping a secret, something as big as this, from a partner had the potential to cause chaos.

But he shook his head, “Between us, yeah?”

And you listened to him. You wanted that Formula 1 seat so of course you followed orders. 

You desperately wanted to talk to Daniel about it, but you knew you couldn’t. And either he sensed that something was off, or he was dealing with his own problems again and wouldn’t share, you really couldn’t tell when the summer break started and things just seemed…different. 

You didn’t go to Monaco for starters, even though Daniel invited you to. But there were so many meetings with Zak and the board at McLaren that it made more sense for you to stay in London for the start of the break. 

Daniel didn’t call as often and you wanted to give him space, knowing that this break was probably needed for him. You expected he was out with friends, letting loose, getting the weight of a horrible season off his back even if just temporarily. 

The plan was to go to Monaco for the last week and a half and then travel to Belgium together. You had to delay that plan, however, when Zak called you and said it was official.

The 2023 seat was yours. 

You wanted to celebrate, with Daniel, but how could you celebrate with the person you were replacing?

It was strange that Daniel had said nothing to you about leaving the team during the summer break, especially since Zak had said time and time again they were on the same page, that Daniel was ready to leave. The only thing that crossed your mind was he was given strict instructions to not say anything to anyone either, at least until McLaren went public with the news. 

But with it being official, with you having just signed on the dotted line, you were tired of keeping it to yourself. You may not have been able to share the news with anyone else, but you had a right to have a conversation with Daniel about it.

You didn’t know how he would react. Surely he’d be happy for you, right? You were getting a seat in Formula 1, something that both of you desperately wanted to happen. And again, you were under the impression the departure from McLaren was mutual. He would be happy that someone he loved was taking his seat, right?

Right?

You had to tell yourself that the entire ride over to his place. You unlocked the front door to his building and took the elevator up to the fourth level. You didn’t think to knock, knowing he never locked it when he was home so you pushed open the door and stepped in, your suitcase trailing behind you.

You were happy to see him. He was always a breath of fresh air, despite the odd distance between you, you still loved him. You always would. He muted whatever was playing on the screen and stood up from the couch when he heard you walk in.

Usually, Daniel would greet you with a kiss.

Usually, he’d be smiling so hard his jaw would be hurting.

Usually, he was happy to see you.

You left the suitcase by the door and met him halfway, only he stopped walking when there was about a foot of space between your bodies. To you, it felt like you were still miles apart.

“Do you have something you want to tell me?” He asked, arms crossed over his chest. 

Your heart sank. 

You had convinced yourself, Zak had convinced you, the whole back of house team had convinced you, that Daniel was aware of this upcoming change. That the termination was mutual. You taking his seat might have been a surprise, but it was never supposed to be a blindside.

“What do you know?” you asked. 

“What do you know?” Daniel repeated the question back to you.

You were both fully aware of the exact same information. Daniel was leaving. You were taking his seat. Only, you had been informed this much earlier than he had.

“What was I supposed to do?” 

“Not take the seat,” he scoffed. “My god, I mean, they’re cutting my contract early, Y/N. For you.”

“For the sake of the team,” you said and then added, “You don’t even like McLaren. You’ve struggled with this team since day one.”

“That doesn’t mean I want to stop racing.”

“McLaren is not the team for you and you know this.”

Daniel scoffed, eyebrows twitching, “Did Zak tell you to say that?”

“Zak-” you started, finding it difficult to hold his stare. This wasn’t the Daniel you knew. “-he doesn’t know I’m here. I’m not supposed to be here. I’m not supposed to talk to you or anyone about it, not until your announcement comes out.”

He rubbed his hands over his face, taking a few steps away from you. It hurt, watching as he tried to physically distance himself from you. Like being in too close of proximity would set him off.

“I struggled with the team, yes, but I’m not ready to give up racing. You have now left me without a seat.”

It was easy for Daniel to blame you, you were standing right in front of him. You were quite literally the driver set to replace him.

But the real villain was Zak, for not having opened up this line of communication earlier. For making you believe everyone was on the same page. It was Zak’s fault for rushing to end the contract with Daniel instead of putting in the effort to work with him. He saw the shiny new toy that was you, that Daniel helped create, and he wasn’t going to let someone else take it first.

Daniel wanted to blame himself too, but he wouldn’t let himself think about that until much later. He was the one who did everything he could to help you grow in this sport. He was the one who introduced you to Zak and the rest of the McLaren team. He was the one who got you in the car for the practice sessions, his car. Foreshadowing at its finest.

“You are unbelievable,” Daniel spoke quietly, heated with anger but his words were like ice as they sunk deep into you. “After everything I’ve done to help you for you to betray me like this, I just- I don’t think-”

You knew where this was going and you wanted to put a pin in it before he could finish any of his thoughts.

“Don’t finish that sentence, Daniel,” you whispered. “Please. Please, we can figure something out.”

“There’s nothing to figure out,” his mind was made up. “You took my seat.”

“Wouldn’t you rather it me than someone you don’t know? Someone you don’t trust?” You tried to turn this around, have him look at the positives, if there were any. “Daniel, everyone on the grid loves you, you’ll find a new team. One that helps you grow and get to where you want. McLaren isn’t that, we both know it.”

“I think you should go,” was his only response. 

“If I hadn’t signed that contact, someone else would have,” you pointed out, grasping at straws here, painfully honest straws, but straws nonetheless. “Piastri, O’Ward…McLaren had options, Dan. Aren’t you at least happy for me that I out-qualified all of those guys?”

Daniel actually laughed, “You want me to be happy for you? Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Dan-”

“Leave.”

“I’m not leaving.”

“You need to,” he was stern. He was angry. He was done. With you, with the team, with everything he used to love and cherish. He was done. 

You thought you knew Daniel. You thought you knew how this conversation would play out. You figured it would still be rocky, but god you now realised how naive you were to believe you could still make things work. 

“I love you,” you told him, because what else could you say except remind him that you were so hopelessly in love with him, that he was all you would ever want in life. 

Except, that wasn’t exactly true, was it?

You wanted a seat in Formula 1 too. You just never thought you’d have to sacrifice one dream for the other. 

Daniel’s stare was cold. He only looked away for a second to nod his head towards the door behind you, “If you loved me, you wouldn’t have done this.”

You stepped forward, desperate at this point because how could he do this? How could he throw away what you had, over a seat?

Or was it you, who had ultimately thrown away what you had when you sat down with Zak Brown all those weeks ago?

It pained you to think about the strong possibility of that being the case.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, because you were. You were sorry about how this turned out, how he was betrayed, how this was coming to an end. You grabbed hold of your suitcase and nodded, backing up towards the door, “I really am sorry, Dan.”

He didn’t believe you. Why would he? In his eyes, Formula 1 was more important to you than he was. A career decision that benefited you, but ruined him, mattered more than your relationship. It was a bold move, a cold move, one that you didn’t think would lead to this.

Neither of you could have predicted this. On September 3rd, 2020, when Daniel first said he wanted to work with you, neither of you thought it would end like this.

Just as you grabbed the handle of the door, Daniel opened his mouth, wanting to get the final word in. And you really wished he hadn’t because those final words destroyed you. 

“I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life, but I never thought you would turn out to be one of them.”

You said nothing. You walked out of that Monaco flat with your head low and your heart even lower. You couldn’t even be excited about the next season, or the remainder of this one where you had the potential to finish in the top three. 

You weren't happy, you were empty, you were defeated. And painfully so, you were also still in love.

Despite what was said, you knew it would take a while to get over Daniel. He was your rock for so long, he was always there for you and even though he could disappear without so much as a second thought, your feelings couldn’t, the memories couldn’t. It would take a long time until you felt whole again.

You didn’t know it yet, but the decision to take that McLaren seat would haunt you as you moved forward in your career. 

This was not going to be the last time you ever saw Daniel. 

stay tuned for part 2

𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝙰𝚛𝚎 𝟷/?

𝒂/𝒏: 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒂𝒑𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒊𝒛𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚. 𝑫𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝑷𝒂𝒖𝒍 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒙𝒕 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒆𝒏𝒋𝒐𝒚 𝒎𝒚 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒔 <𝟑

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚: 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒎𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒕𝒘𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑩𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒂. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒊𝒅 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒆𝒙𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝑱𝒂𝒄𝒐𝒃𝒔 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔/𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕: 𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒚. 𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓

𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕: 𝟔.𝟑𝒌

𝑵𝒆𝒙𝒕 →

Moving to forks, where it would rain all the time was something to get used to, even tho I spent the summer here all the time it was still hard to leave my mom and all my friends. For Bella tho, it was harder to adjust, she hadn't been back in a while and what made it even worse for her was that she and our dad didn't have a really good relationship.

Tho my dad could be really awkward, he wasn't around me. Maybe it's because we have a lot in common or it could be because I just don't let things get awkward. I always have something to talk about.

Since Jacob went to school on the reservation I ended up not knowing anyone on my first day. This was one of the first times I was happy to have a twin, thus meaning I didn't have to walk the halls alone or eat lunch alone.

Since Jacob went to school on the reservation I ended up not knowing anyone on my first day. This was one of the first times I was happy to have a twin, thus meaning I didn't have to walk the halls alone or eat lunch alone.

Since Jacob went to school on the reservation I ended up not knowing anyone on my first day. This was one of the first times I was happy to have a twin, thus meaning I didn't have to walk the halls alone or eat lunch alone.

It was weird being the new girls. In such a small town where everyone knew everyone, we both stood out. The second we stepped out of the truck all eyes were on us. Yet another thing I forgot to worry about.

But after the first two classes, I was grateful to see my twin's face amongst the crowd. She motioned me over, only then did I see the unfamiliar faces she was sitting with.

I didn't pay much mind to her newfound friends, only did I snap out of my daze when they mentioned the Cullens who I had already heard about in one of my classes. They were the talk of the school until we got here.

Right when I got paired up with Emmit for a project in my history class I knew something was off with him. The first thing I noticed was how pale the boy was, un-normally pale. And maybe he was just a history buff with the way he knew all the answers before looking them up, which didn't seem like he was the type.

But to my surprise, there were more of them. All the same amount of pale.

"Damn talk about pale," I muttered to Bella when the whole pack of Cullens walked through the door. She only nodded in agreement but her eyes wouldn't leave the last boy who had come in alone, Edward they said his name was.

I could already tell my twin was attracted to him but it didn't look one-sided. I could see the way his eyes kept finding hers during lunch, and if I was being honest I didn't like the boy. He seemed too pale to be real.

I had Engish with the boy and of course, the teacher had to sit me next to him. It seemed like in every class there was a Cullen and every time I got either paired up with one or I had to sit next to one. Good thing was he didn't pay me much mind, which I was more than grateful for. As much as I love talking, the one thing I hated was when I met someone who liked it as much as I did. Which so happened to be his brother Emmit.

And this was how the days were most of the time, weeks passed and Bella seemed to talk more and more with the Cullen boy. Every day after school she would tell me the whole story of how they talked about the weather in class, no detail was left in the dust. I knew more about the boy than probably most of the people at school.

And every day I dreaded history class. The one class where Emmit would talk my ear off, and every time I would get the chance to talk, the boy would interpret me or talk over me. This made me hate the Cullen family more and more. The only time I was free of his voice was when I finally got home.

Bella would stay in most nights, talking with mom while I was out with Jacob. I would tell him all about Bella's crush on the Cullen boy and all about how Emmit was driving me crazy which Jacob always found really amusing. But when I was with Jacob I forgot all about my problems that weren't even problems at all, he was like my other half. And even tho Jacob loved to talk as much as I did, for some reason it never bothered me.

Even tho Jacob would tell me about everything that happened in his life, one thing he never shared was how he felt for my sister. I saw the way he always asked for her, the way he would look at her whenever they met, it was obvious. And even as smart as Bella was, she never saw it.

But how could she when her eyes were only on one pale Cullen. And as much as I wanted to bring up that topic, I never did. I knew that if I brought it up Jacob would only grow those feelings inside. So I never voiced it.

Tho I had my own truck, I would always end up driving with Bella. She was a better and safer driver than I was, I had already gotten so many speeding tickets and half of those had been from my dad. Instead of taking my drivers away like a normal cop, he ended up taking my truck away until I was more responsible. As much as I hated it, I also didn't mind spending that extra time with my sister.

"You know pale face over there won't notice you here unless you go and talk to him," I said to Bella from inside the driver seat, door wide open. She looked up from the book in her hands and narrowed her eyes.

"I don't care if he notices me or not. I like reading out here,"

"Right," I scoffed. "You like reading out in the freezing cold while standing in the lot with a bunch of loud teenagers," I said shaking my head when she rolled her eyes. But nonetheless, I let her do what she wanted, even if that meant getting sick just so a guy would notice her.

"Shit," I muttered, ducking my head trying to stay out of sight. Bella looked back, trying to see who I was hiding from.

"Who are you trying to avoid?" She asked, turning her head back to me.

"Emmit. He's been starting to talk to me outside of class and it's driving me crazy," Bella let out a small laugh, she knew all about my hatred for the boy, and just like Jacob, she found it amusing.

"I think he sees you," She laughed as Emmit started waving his hands and motioning me over. I groaned, hitting my head on the driver's seat before I got out of the truck and slowly made my way over to the buff boy.

"What?"

"Hello to you too," He smiled, shaking his head in amusement. "I just wanted to talk to you about the project due next week. If we want to get it finished on time we have to start doing it after school," My face paled, and overwhelming dread started to fill me.

"Maybe if we just do more in class-" I started but he cut me off.

"Still won't be enough time. Looks like you'll be coming over Friday Swan," He ruffled my hair, making me slap his hand away. The scowl on my face only made him laugh.

I turned and angrily walked away, grumbling to myself about how I got into this mess in the first place. If anything the reason we were behind was because of his none stop yapping.

All the anger vanished in my body when I heard the screeching of tires. I jerked my head up, spotting a black van which was speeding through the parking lot.

Bella with her head still stuffed in her book didn't hear the van that was making its way toward her. The only explanation for her deafness was probably that both of her earbuds were in.

Not even thinking twice I raced after my sister, screaming her name but it did no use, the van was too close. I could hear Emmit calling me back but I ignored him. Fear made my heart start pounding in my chest, so loud I could feel it in my ears.

I managed to make it to the other side of the truck, my hands ended up grabbing onto the box of the truck, stopping me in my place. As I was about to race to the other side, someone beat me to it. Like a flash, Edward had made it toward Bella before the van hit.

Confusion and fear hit me all at once when the boy pushed the speeding van away from Bella, making it slam into the side of the truck, most likely leaving a dent. But the place Bella was and the place where she was supposed to get hit was fine, no scratch.

Bella's eyes went wide as she looked at Edward, terrified and confused. His hand that was around her waist slowly slipped away as he got up, his eyes meeting mine before he ran off again. As Bella followed him with her eyes I glanced back at the Cullens who were all staring at the scene shocked.

I tore my gaze away and rushed toward my sister who was slowly taking her earbuds out of her ears, wide eyes meeting mine as I fell down in front of her. I felt down her arms and stomach, trying to see if anything was broken.

"Are you okay?" I asked, worry laced in my voice.

"Y/N–Edward," But before she could finish her sentence we both got flooded with students, all asking the same thing. My brows were furrowed as I stood up, eyes connecting with all of the Cullens as they all stared at me. Bella saw it too.

I sat in the waiting room of the hospital, playing with my fingers as I waited for my sister's checkup to be done. My mind was still playing the scene over and over again in my head, wondering if I had just imagined things. Did I hit my head? No, I couldn't have.

"Y/N?" I heard that all too familiar voice say. I didn't look up, hoping it was my mind playing games with me but when the boy sat down in front of me, dread again filled my body.

I lifted my head, eyes meeting his brown ones. I raised my eyebrows in a way of telling him to get to the point. He tried to hold back his smile, shaking his head like he always did whenever he found me amusing. But before he got to his point I cut in.

"What the hell is with your brother? Does he have some type of superhuman speed or something because that shit that he did only happens in the movies," Emmit was taken aback by my sudden outburst, opening his mouth to say something but again I cut in.

"And don't you dare say I imagined it or that I hit my head. It's two against one buddy, Bella saw it too. So you better tell me what the hell is going on because it's really fracking me out-"

"Whoa, easy there," He looked concerned now, his hands reaching out to me but after a moment of looking at the look on my face, he pulled his hands back. "How about when you come over on Friday I explain everything, yeah?"

After a moment of me staring at him, my eyes narrowing and my breathing calming down, I nodded. A small "Fine," Coming out of my mouth. I noticed Jacob making his way down the hall, looking around, trying to find the right room.

I excused myself and speed-walked toward Jacob. His eyebrows furrowed as I grabbed his shirt and pulled him into an empty hallway, away from Emmit.

"You know people say hi now instead of grabbing them like in the cave days," He said, making me roll my eyes.

"Something weird happened today," I started, ignoring Jacobs's comment. "When I got to the truck I saw something," My eyes went wide. "Something not normal-"

"What?" Jacob interrupted, getting impatient.

"I saw Edward Cullen, run towards Bella and like push the van away," I explained, motioning with my hands. "But he was like really fast, like first he was on one side of the lot and the next thing I knew he was by Bella," Jacob blinked, a smile soon forming.

"Very funny Y/N," He laughed. "Right, he pushed the van away," He said, using air quotes. I scoffed, blinking as I shook my head. But every time I tried to say something he would cut in before I got the chance. "I'm not stupid Y/N, you've tried this on me before,"

"What, no I'm telling the truth-"

"Yeah right," He pushed my face away, laughing.

"No Jacob-" Jacob cut me off by putting his whole hand over my face, he was looking behind me. I slapped his hands away as I turned around, only to see Bella talking with the famous Cullen boy himself.

"What do you think they're talking about?"

"Probably about how he pushed a whole van away from her,"

"No actually, cause he looks pretty pissed,"

"Yeah I would be too if I'd been found out-"

"Oh my god Y/N he didn't push a van away," I turned towards him, pointing my finger in his face.

"You weren't there,"

"Yeah and I still don't believe your bullshit story,"

"It's not bullshit-"

"Y/N, let's go," My dad said, motioning me over.

"You better stop reading your daughter superhuman stories cause she's believing them," I hit Jacobs's shoulder, making him wince.

"Ow," Meanwhile a curtain Cullen overheard what Jacob had said, stopping on the spot only to turn around and place his eyes on Y/N, who was arguing with Jacob, while her dad was pulling the two apart.

The next day thankfully was a Saturday, since my dad still wouldn't give me back my truck I ended up dragging Jacob with me to a library. Ever since that whole thing happened with Edward I was starting to get more and more curious on how he got like that. Super strength and speed weren't normal, and I also knew what I saw, even tho Jacob kept telling me the opposite.

After sighing out almost everything that was supernatural and had the power of strength and speed I went back to Jacobs's place. I had told my dad I was spending the night so this way I could do research for the whole night.

I had made myself a place on the floor, sitting on a fur blanket and one of Jacobs's hoodies that I stole from his closet, the nights here were always freezing. And since his dad wasn't gonna be back today we were both in the living room.

I had my books and laptop on the coffee table, already halfway through the fourth book while writing down notes on my laptop. And with the fireplace lit it made it really cozy.

Jacob tho didn't find this as fun as I did, and after complaining for hours I let him sit on the couch and watch his show on the big screen. It was maybe 3 in the morning when I jumped up, waking up Jacob who had fallen asleep on the couch when I jumped down on top of him.

He groaned, slowly opening his eyes only to glare at me as I hovered over him, eyes wide. I got off of him when he sat up, trying to rub the sleep from his eyes, but before he could say a word I did.

"Do you remember those stories your dad used to tell us about your ancestors?" I asked, making him nod his head, confused. "Well I don't think those are just stories, I think that actually happened here. Which means that the Cullens must be the cold ones he talked about,"

"Think about it, they just moved here from Alaska of all places, they are all siblings but adopted, they are all pale as snow, they have wired coloured eyes, and they never come out when it's sunny. Edward can run super fast and is super strong. It all makes sense," I finished, out of breath. After a moment I sank down on the couch, waiting for Jacobs's reaction.

"I–how did you..." He stopped himself, confusion still plastered on his face. "There's no way those stories are true," He finally said, voice quiet, as if he was unsure.

"I know it's hard to believe but it all adds up," I said, sleep finally starting to settle in me. We were both quiet for what felt like forever before I finally spoke. "I'm gonna go to bed now wolf boy," I laughed, getting up and taking the giant fur blanket with me. Jacobs's eyes followed my form as I made my way toward his room.

Fear rose inside of him, he didn't know if Y/N was kidding or not. He didn't know if he should believe her or not. Finally, after a minute he laughed it off, deciding that this was some sick joke Y/N was playing, and made his way toward his room.

I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel of my sister's truck, fear starting to slowly trickle inside of me. Today was Friday, and as promised I was on my way to Emmit Cullens' house. To be completely honest I wouldn't have gone if I didn't find out they were blood-sucking demons, which sounds like I should be saying the opposite.

Fear was the emotion I should be feeling when I turned on the road toward their house but for me, it was more of curiosity than anything else. My eyes kept drifting toward my phone which had the Cullens' address written in my notes.

Even tho Emmit insisted on giving me his number I refused. I couldn't have him texting or calling me, it was already painful having him at school, it'd be even worse if the boy started texting me while I was at home.

Soon a big house made its way into my view after seeing nothing but trees for miles. I could only guess why they had chosen a place so far into the woods. I pulled the truck into the driveway and hit the break before pulling the hand break up.

I grabbed my phone and my bag with all the things we needed for the project before heading toward the house. I sent Emmit a text telling him I was here before knocking on the door.

After a few minutes of standing in the cold the door opened, and to my surprise, it was Rosalie who was standing in front of me instead of the tall buff Cullen I was expecting. She narrowed her eyes before opening the door wider to let me slip past and into the house.

I kept my gasp in as I looked at the house, it was so open and looked just gorgeous. It had windows in all the right spots, leaving a clear view of the forest. If I was rich this would be the house I would go for.

"Swan, you made it," Emmit said as he made his way down the stairs, that same big grin plastered on his face. Even tho I knew what he and his family were I still wasn't scared of them, if they wanted to kill me I'm pretty sure they would have done so already.

"Cullen," I said making him laugh at my serious tone.

"I like this one," I heard Rosalie say from behind me. Surprise filled me as she walked past us and headed up the stairs. Rosalie never liked anyone, at least that was what everyone said.

"Are you just gonna stand there and gawk or are we gonna finish the project?" He asked, teasing me while raising his eyebrows. I glared at him.

"I wasn't gawking you pale idiot," This made him burst into laughter as he headed up the stairs.

"You never fail me, Swan. Don't change," He shook his head as we again walked up another flight of stairs before we came to a white hallway. I took in all the graduation caps that were hung on the wall, making more sense of how old they were.

He opened the door to his room and sat down on his giant bed. The room was plane, nothing on the walls and almost no furniture, other than a dresser that sat lonesome by the wall.

"Let's get this over with,"

After a couple hours of us doing work and Emmit's nonstop talking, we were finally done. I had taken my things and got out of his room in a hurry. Emmit was right at my heels as I made my way down the stairs. I stopped midway as I saw the familiar face. My heart stopped and my face paled. What the hell was she doing here?

"Bella?" She turned around at the sound of my voice, her shock turned into fear.

"Y/N?" I made my way down the rest of the stairs, grabbing her hand and pulling her away. "What are you doing here?" Was her first question.

"I could ask you the same thing?" The previous week she and Edward had gone public which didn't surprise me in the slightest, tho I wasn't fond of the fact that she was dating a vampire that could kill and maybe even turn her whenever he wanted.

She was about to say something but stopped, looking at the place where we had come from before pulling me down the stairs and outside, closing the door behind us.

"Why are you here Y/N? You have to leave," I furrowed my eyebrows.

"I was doing just that until I saw you standing with pale face over there," I motioned toward the house with my head making her sigh in anger.

"Edward and I are dating I have every right to be at his house,"

"Not with his family around," She looked at me confused.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I cursed to myself in my head, I couldn't exactly tell her that her boyfriend was a blood-sucking demon. That would just be cruel, I had to get her to leave with me.

"You know how I feel about the Cullens-"

"You mean Emmit?"

"Not the point Bella. If I hate Emmit, I hate the whole family," She rolled her eyes, planting her hands on her hips. "Look I just don't feel safe when your alone with people you barely know," Her eyes soften, she reached for me, taking my hands into her own.

"Thank you for worrying about me but you really don't have to. I am perfectly safe here trust me," She seemed so sure that they could be trusted, I felt bad that she didn't know the truth about this family. I knew how stubborn Bella was so I just nodded, not pushing her to come with me when I knew it would do no use. And if she all of the sudden did get sucked up by the Cullens, at least I would be able to bring them down with her.

"Fine, but call me if you feel unsafe okay?" She nodded, a smile on her face as she wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into an embrace.

"Is that my truck?" She asked, pulling away from me, a knowing smile on her face. "Didn't dad say you weren't allowed to drive until you were responsible?"

"Hey, don't you go telling dad things he doesn't need or want for your information to hear," She laughed, shaking her head, hands in the air as a sigh of surrender.

"I won't tell," I narrowed my eyes before slowly backing away to the truck.

"Thank you," I yelled as I got into the truck. I watched as she headed back inside. Right as she was out of sight I let a sigh escape. I felt scared that she was alone with them, it didn't feel right to just leave her here when she didn't know what she just got herself into.

Later that day when she had gotten home I tried to get her to talk about what all happened with the Cullens, but she refused to tell me anything. And that's when it started, Bella was slowly pulling further and further away from me, she used to tell me every detail about her and Edward but since the day they made it official, she's been as quiet as a mouse.

It bothered me a lot but what could I do? Forse, her to tell me everything? No. I never ask about her life and she would just think something was wrong if I started to now. So I let her pull herself away, I still kept a close eye on her and the Cullens but everything seemed normal. Too normal.

I started to leave the vampier stuff behind, it didn't matter what they were so long as they weren't hurting anyone. And even tho it scared the shit out of me I kept it to myself. I stopped mentioning it to Jacob which seemed to relieve him.

Over the next couple of months, Jacobs's home was like a second home to me, and his dad became a second dad. I would spend supper with them more than my own family and sleep over more than supposed to, but his dad never seemed to mind. He always said I was like a daughter to him.

And since my dad was always busy with the newfound murder cases that have gone up, he really felt safer if I was with the Black family and not home alone.

But then things started to get weird. I knew how much Bella and Edward were in love, despite the fact that I hated it, so it surprised both me and my dad when she barged into the house announcing that she and Edward broke up.

Me and my dad had exchanged glances before following her up the stairs where she started packing her things. She was rambling on and on about how she wasn't happy here and no matter what both me and my dad said it still did no use.

At this point, my dad was begging her not to go, but then she hit him hard with the same blow mom used, and then she stormed out, with me right on her heels.

"Bella what the hell was that?!" I yelled, causing her to stop in her tracks. I never yelled. I never got mad. And she knew that. But after a little, she put her things in the box of her truck. She opened the truck door but I slammed it shut, causing her to flinch.

"What do you think you're doing? You can't just full-on insult and hurt dad and then just leave. Who do you think you are?" I was angry, and she could see that, but she wasn't about to back down like she usually would whenever I got mad.

"Get out of my way Y/N," She said, trying to open the door again but like before I slammed it shut.

"Not until you tell me what the hell is going on,"

"Y/N. I don't have time for this,"

"I don't care what you have time for. Now tell me before I make you," She glared at me, I could see she was getting impatient.

"Get the hell away from my truck Y/N! You're always standing in my way and it's starting to piss me off, god just let me leave, I don't want this life. I get it you do but don't you come crying to me when you turn into dad with no one to love you and no one who you can love," I was shocked at her tone, at her choice of words, and the way she angry shoved me away, causing me to slip and fall on my butt.

I stared, my eyes filling with tears as she drove out of the driveway like it meant nothing to leave us behind. My dad ran out of the house and crouched down in front of me, the same hurt and shock was dispaled on his face as I'm sure was forming on mine.

The next day Bella was back but she had a broken leg and her arm was slashed. At first, I wouldn't even go see her but after my mom practically dragged me over I ended up forgiving her.

After the summer and we were back at school, things between Bella and Edward changed and soon they ended up breaking up. I was relieved that the family ended up moving away, taking that pale-faced talking machine with them.

Even tho I hated the Cullens it still broke me that they left Bella here torn apart. Edward was her first love and her first boyfriend, so when he left she didn't know how to take it, and like I suspected she took it quietly.

She would sit up in her room for days, and those days ended up turning into weeks, and weeks into months. No matter what I tried she wouldn't leave her room. She wasn't talking to her friends and soon started to fail her classes.

I thought that sleep would do her good but boy was I wrong. The nights were the worst for everyone in the house. Almost every night I would wake up to the sound of Bella screaming, and every night both me and my dad would race to her room and wake her up.

Which only led me to sleep in her bed after she calmed down. This led me to stop having as many sleepovers with Jacob and made me try and fix Bella all on my own.

"You know she should really be trying to get over him," Jacob started as we sat in his truck on our way to go get food. This was the first time in a while since I'd been out, but that was only because Bella decided with a little of a push from both me and my dad to go out with her friends.

"You think I don't know that. I've been trying that for months. I think she really did love that pale-faced bloodsucker," Jacob scoffed.

"You still believe the tribe's story?"

"Yeah. Why else would your dad always tell us them? And besides, the Cullens aren't allowed on the reservation which says a lot," Jacob just rolled his eyes.

"You're so stupid," Before I could insult him back I saw something which made me yell for him to stop. Jacob stopped the truck, looking at me as if I was crazy before I jumped out of the vehicle. My eyes were wide as I crossed the road to get a better look.

"What the–is that Embry?" Jacob who was behind me let out a sigh before he nodded, putting his hands into his jacket pocket.

"Do you remember Sam Uley from when we were kids?" He asked. The name sounded familiar, causing me to think back to when we were younger. Then it hit me. Two years ago when I had come down for the summer, both me and Jacob along with the tribe had this bonfire, and at each bonfire Billy, Jacobs's dad would tell the story of the tribe. I remember Sam because he was always the one who would steal our food as a joke. Tho he always did end up eating it instead of giving it back.

"What about him?"

"Well that guy in the back is Sam," I snapped my head back to the group of boys who were at the edge of a cliff, some of them diving in with the push from others. I noticed a man in the back of the group, laughing along with the others, Sam.

"What the hell..."

"Yeah, that's what I said," He scoffed, shaking his head as he stared at the group of boys. "A little over a year ago Sam started this wired pack thing. He started getting more and more boys to join but I never thought Embry out of everyone would,"

Soon the rest of the boys started jumping into the water causing me to turn away. My eyes lit up in amusement when I saw the look on Jacob's face.

"Wait... are you jealous?" I teased, making him snap his head toward me. At his attempt to save himself, I burst into laughter which led to him hitting the back of my head.

The next day I got woken up by the last person I expected, Bella. As I was half asleep in my bed Bella was going on and on about how she wanted to get out more and try new things. The second she mentioned dirt bikes I sat up, causing a groan to leave my mouth at the sudden force.

I sat in her truck with a headache as she drove the both of us to Jacobs, the truck's box loaded with broken dirt bikes she found at the junck yard. After a quiet drive, we finally made it, my headache only worsened as she jumped out of the truck.

I saw Jacob walk out of the barn, and only when he notched it was Bella and not me he started jogging toward her, a huge grin on his face as he pulled her into a hug. After they pulled away I saw their lips moving before Bella pointed toward me. With concern, Jacob made his way to my side of the truck before opening the door I was leaning on.

"You good Y/N?" He asked as I glared at him for disturbing my peace and warmth. I pulled my hood over my head before I got out of the truck.

"I'm going back to sleep, don't let Bella do anything stupid," I warned, pointing my finger in her direction before I made my way to the house. I said a quick hello to Billy and then collapsed on Jacob's bed, falling asleep.

The next couple of weeks did good for Bella, she was slowly starting to heal the broken heart Edward had left. I could tell how good Jacob was for her and noticed the way she was slowly starting to laugh, smile, and open up again.

But I could also see the effect she was having on Jacob, I already knew that he had a small thing for her last year but now that they are together more often his feeling have time to grow. But I never said anything and just sat there as the two started to bond.

I was sitting on Jacob's couch, a book in hand as Billy sat next to me with the town's paper close to his face. It was just the two of us seeing that Jacob was out watching a movie with Bella and her friends. They had invited me to come but after I found out who was gonna be there I turned them down, much rather wanting to spend the day with Billy instead.

It had been a couple of hours since he left causing me to drift off to sleep. I must have been asleep for maybe 30 minutes before I heard the front door slam shut. I jumped up making the book I was reading a little ago fall to the floor.

Billy looked at Jacob with his brows furrowed, both of us taking in the way he was breathing heavily, and sweating like he had just run a marathon. I was about to stand up but the next words that came out of Billy's mouth stopped me.

"You look weird," Tho Billy didn't mean it like that it still came out sounding like he had insulted his son. As I took his words as concern Jacob took them as if someone had slapped him. His breathing started to become heavier and heavier causing me to look at him with worry.

I tried standing up to see if he was okay but Billy held his arm out, stopping me from making any movement. Billy looked at his son as if he knew exactly what was going on, and soon Jacob ran out of the house.

I followed him out, fear washing over me thinking that something bad had happened to my best friend. Billy was not far behind me, taking my hand and pulling me behind him as we both saw the scene unfold before us.

Jacob's heaving got worse and soon he looked up to the night sky, a sound that was like a growl coming out of his mouth before he ran, jumping into the air but his whole body changed. All his clothes were torn off as his body started growing fur and soon four legs appeared. I was too shocked to move as a giant wolf stood before both me and Billy.

The wolf let out a howl before running off into the woods. Even tho I believed the legends that Billy always told us I was still in shock after seeing my best friend turn into something that terrified me. We both were quiet for a long while before Billy turned toward me, his eyes soft but also concerned, not for his son but for me.

Lacy (LN4)

Summary: To the song “Lacy” by Olivia Rodrigo, that should explain it I feel like

Warnings: language, angst, sad sad sad

Note: I think this wasn’t the best I could do so if y’all want a part 2 let me know bc i feel like i could redeem myself

Lacy, oh, lacy, skin like puff pastry. Aren’t you the sweetest thing on this side of hell? Dear angel lacy, eyes white as daisies, did I ever tell you that I’m not doing well?

Luisinha’s eyes twinkled as they stared up at Lando, Y/n huddled in the corner as she analyzed the girl. Lists upon lists of things she had that Y/n didn’t plagued her mind, tormenting every thought and destroying the little bit of self confidence Y/n had left. It was cruel, how sweet and perfect Luisinha was. There was no reason to hate her or criticize her, pick her apart until Y/n felt better about herself. That was the worst part, the thing that hurt the most. It wasn’t the fact that Luisinha possessed the one thing Y/n had yearned for for years before or the fact that Luisinha was loved by everyone. No, it was the fact that, when Y/n lay awake at night, she couldn’t blame anyone else for her mistake other than herself. It was gutting and tiring, but the knowledge that Luisinha was completely innocent, ironically, made Y/n hate her more.

Somebody’s arm brushing up against hers pulled her out of her deep thoughts, her head turning around to see who had taken up the space. When her eyes met that of Lando’s Australian teammate, she smiled.

“They’re cute, yeah?” Oscar chuckled, mistaking her staring for adoration rather than what it truly was; jealousy.

Nodding, Y/n tilted her head as if she really cared about the conversation, “Yeah, for sure. Never seen Lando happier.”

The words were bitter, admitting outwardly that she had never, and probably would never, be the reason for that specific smile on his face.

Oscar took a sip of his water as he looked on at the couple, “Don’t even know how she fell in love with him.”

The world went quiet for a moment as Y/n’s eyes frantically turned to sear into the side of Oscar’s face, “What?”

Her tone made his eyebrows furrow in confusion and the look on her face had him shaking his head, “Did Lando not tell you? They said ‘I love you’ like a week ago?”

Her body went numb, the information hitting her so hard it felt like the air had been taken from her lungs. As if things couldn’t get harder, Lando’s arm wrapped tightly around his girlfriend as he kissed her, very clearly lovesick. She felt stupid. Partially stupid for allowing the deepest part of her to think they would have a chance to be even remotely close to what he had with Luisinha, and the other part being stupid for not seeing how gone he was for her.

It was right in front of her, that part was chilling, but the other part that had her heart sinking was the fact that Lando had forgotten to tell her such big news.

Another thing added to the list of things Y/n didn’t have that Luisinha did; Y/n was forgettable, Luisinha wasn’t.

—

Oh, I care, I care, I care. Like perfume that you wear, I linger all the time. Watching, hidden in plain sight. And, oh, I try, I try, I try, but it takes over my life, I see you everywhere. The sweetest torture one could bear.

Y/n was shivering, the coat she wore not enough to keep her warm in the cold Monaco weather. She checked her phone once more, trying to spot any message from Lando saying he would be there soon, but she came up empty every time.

The hostess, with a look of pity, eyed her from inside the restaurant, the table for two under the name of “Y/n” for the reservation taunting her as she realized what she was witnessing. However, the hostess thought it was Y/n’s boyfriend standing her up, not her best friend who had most likely forgotten about the dinner because he was with his girlfriend.

It took Y/n the next few minutes to pull herself together, coming to terms with the fact that he wasn’t going to answer his phone after the countless messages she had sent him asking when he was going to show up to the dinner they had planned weeks ago.

With her head hung low, she went back into the establishment, muttering words to the woman at the front about canceling her reservations and apologizing for the inconvenience. Before Y/n could turn around and sulk home, however, the hostess reached out and grabbed Y/n’s hand gently. With a small smile, she whispered, “I’m sure there’s a good reason as to why he didn’t show, don’t lose hope just yet. I’m sure he loves you very much. You’re a very beautiful girl, anyone would be lucky to have you.”

Nodding, Y/n didn’t look up from her feet as she thanked the woman and left. The reassurance the woman had intended to be comforting destroyed her just a bit more, resulting in controlled tears falling from her face as she rounded corners and crossed streets.

Whilst waiting for the crosswalk to turn green, Y/n pulled out her phone. Instagram was the first app she clicked, proving to be a wrong decision when she saw Lando had posted on his story. Painfully, it was a picture of him and Luisinha at his house with dinner on their laps. Ashamed of how hurt she was, she tried to convince herself that being mad at him was unnecessary. Her feelings were a product of her longing, something he couldn’t be blamed for. Nevertheless, she couldn’t help, but feel abandoned. Years of friendship down the drain as he got distracted with someone else, someone who gave him more than she could. Luisinha granted him connections to parts of the entertainment industry that could help to grow his companies, gain access to new opportunities.

She tried to convince herself she was happy for him, but that secured feeling never truly came even after she got home.

Looking at her phone once more with no response from Lando, she went to bed.

Or, at least, laid in bed. Previously mentioned nights of staying up to blame herself returning.

—

Smart, sexy Lacy. I’m losing it lately. I feel your compliments like bullets on skin. Dazzling starlet, Bardot reincarnate. Well, aren’t you the greatest thing to ever exist. Oh, I care, I care, I care. Like ribbons in your hair, my stomach’s all in knots. You got the one thing that I want. Oh, I try, I try, I try, try to rationalize people are people, but it’s like you’re made of angel dust.

Nights like these were supposed to be fun. Max, Y/n, and Lando all staying out into the late hours of the nights, drinking and dancing in random clubs around the city. However, this time it proved to be bittersweet as Lando informed the group Luisinha planned to tag along.

Y/n’s smile was fake, of course, but she was prepared to plaster it on for the rest of the night if it meant Lando’s good mood was preserved. Of course, Luisinha had shown up in a designer dress that hugged her body in all the right ways. Her smile was showstopping as she hugged Y/n, whispering to her about how gorgeous she looked.

“Thank you. That’s very sweet. You look very pretty as well.” Y/n got out painfully, wanting nothing to do with the woman in front of her.

“Doesn’t she?” Lando butt in as if he was trying to drive the knife deeper in Y/n’s heart. Safe to say, he was successful.

She chuckled dryly when he started waving his arms animatedly around, shouting, “Gorgeous! Impeccable! Breathtaking!”

It was a wonder Y/n didn’t break down right then. Shades of betrayal dousing out the fire in her eyes, the life in her body, as her mind forced her to take a look back on all the times she had thought Lando loved her as much as she did him. The time when he drove to her house in the middle of the night because she got a stomach bug and was throwing up; the time when he pretended to be her boyfriend so a random man at a bar would stop making her feel uncomfortable; the time when he had opened up to her about his mental health struggles, finishing it off with telling her how much he loved her and appreciated her. That moment, out of all of them, was the worst to relive because it was in the way he said her name, the way his fingers had gripped her hand, as he told her how much he adored her whole being. His tone had made it sound as if a real love declaration was the cusp of his lips, although those specific words never came. Instead, it was a quiet silence as he waited for her to respond and she waited for him to tell her everything she had ever wanted to hear. Y/n had locked that memory away in her mind, it being too crushing to bounce around in her mind like the others did. So, when it came up as he yelled around in front of her about how beautiful his girlfriend was, she was pushed over the edge.

Suddenly, her dress felt too tight and she became too aware of the tips of her fingers touching the tops of her thighs. She no longer wanted to go out and hang out with people whom she wanted to forget about. But, the cruelty of the world seemed to be targeting her as an opportunity to bail on their plans never came, and she was forced to listen to Luisinha’s giggling after Lando whispered something in her ear.

No amount of alcohol could cure the putrid taste of unrequited love, she knew that, but that didn’t stop her from trying. Shots on shots of vodka riddled the booth they had reserved in the back of the club. She didn’t want to dance, didn’t want to talk, she just wanted to sulk in her thoughts and allow herself to wallow in self pity.

Y/n was a fun drunk, but, that night, she was messy and sloppy, the complete opposite of what she knew Lando wanted. Luisinha had gotten tipsy; Luisinha had twirled around on the dance floor gracefully as if she couldn’t mess a single thing up; Luisinha had done everything right while Y/n tormented herself for being nothing like that. She couldn’t get out of her own head, clearly being too far gone alcohol-wise to think straight.

“Maybe you should slow down?” Max tried, coaxing the glass out of her hand when she had accidentally sloshed the liquid onto his lap.

Groaning and rolling her eyes, Y/n grabbed her bag, “You’re no fun. I’m going to find someone else.”

Max shook his head, reaching out to grab her wrist, knowing Lando would kill him if he left Y/n alone like this, but she was too quick for him, disappearing into the crowd in a millisecond.

He shouted for her, eyes scanning the herd of people, before going to check outside, but he continuously came up empty. The situation became even worse when Lando came back to their table, Luisinha in tow, with furrowed eyebrows.

“Where’s Y/n?” He quizzed, his gaze falling on a frantic Max.

“She left.” He said as his eyes failed to meet Lando’s.

There was a silence before Lando tried again, “I’m sorry, what?”

Max scoffed, “Lando, she left. I don’t know where she went and, no matter how hard I try, I can’t find her anywhere.”

Luisinha, being the angel she was, began looking around the club as if she could find Y/n in the spots Max had already looked.

“Did you call her?” Lando asked, pulling out his phone and clicking her contact.

It rang, continued to ring, until it clicked and he was met with an eerie quiet.

“Y/n? Where are you?” He asked softly.

Rustling and heels clacking was all he heard before her slurred words were saying, “I’m walking home.”

He shook his head immediately, grabbing his keys and nodding to Luisinha and Max, telling them he was going to go pick her up.

“No way, Y/n. Your house is so far from here on foot. Let me come get you and I can drive you home, how about that?”

She didn’t have much of a choice considering he was already outside of the club and unlocking his car, but that didn’t get through to her, “No, Lando. I don’t want to see anyone right now, especially you.”

His foot stepped on the gas, driving toward her house and hoping to find her on his way there, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He knew never to reason with a drunk, but she had been so distant lately, he couldn’t help it. He wanted to know what had happened to his best friend and the relationship they once shared.

Y/n huffed, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Continuing down the road he was on, he saw, in the distance, a black, shimmering dress, similar to the one he knew Y/n had worn that night. Sure enough, as he got closer, he saw her braced against a light post as she tried to take off her heels. Her hair was messy, eyes stained black with her smeared mascara, and, if Lando had to guess, she had been crying.

When he pulled up next to her, she scoffed loudly, “God, you can’t just leave me alone, huh? I said I didn’t want to see you, Lando. Leave me the fuck alone.”

He was visibly taken aback by her hostile nature, but, nevertheless, tried to get her in the car.

“Get in the car, Y/n. You shouldn’t be out here alone when you’re this drunk.” He unlocked the doors and got out of the car, walking towards her only for her to take a step back.

“I don’t want to get in the car with you. Go back to Luisinha.” She was practically spitting her words, aggression dripping off every syllable.

Lando groaned, reaching out for her once more, but just missing her, “Stop being stubborn, Y/n. Get in the car and I’ll drive you home.”

Finally, her fuse having run out, she shouted, “NO.”

Lando’s arms flew out beside him, “Ok, why?!”

She threw her shoe at his legs and, if they hadn’t been so disappointed in the way their partnership had turned out, they would’ve laughed.

“Why’d you never tell me you and her said ‘I love you’?” She stopped, putting her hands on her hips as her anger took a new look, quiet and controlled.

He blinked at her, “Who told you that?”

“It doesn’t matter, Lando. Why?” She shrugged, staring blankly at him.

He looked away from her, hesitant to answer with the truth. His change in attitude allowed Y/n to continue, “What about last week when you didn’t show up for dinner?”

He shook his head, “What dinner?”

Her jaw dropped and she began laughing, “You still don’t remember? Did you look at any of my texts? Never wondered why I called you so many times last Friday night?”

He thought back, remembering he had spent that night with Luisinha, nothing about Y/n blowing up his phone. To check, he pulled the device out, looking through his messages and seeing, lost in all the other people trying to get ahold of him, was her asking where he was.

He breathed out deeply, “Shit, Y/n, I’m so sorry. I completely forgot.”

“Yeah, I’m not surprised. It’s been happening a lot lately.”

“No, don’t do that. It hasn’t.” He tried to convince her, but she seemed unimpressed.

“Alright, so then why did you forget to tell me such a pivotal moment in your relationship?” She tried again.

His head fell into his hands, shaking it side to side, before mumbling, “Because I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

“How would I get hurt?” She said it as if he was stupid and being overly cautious for no reason. The fact that she was actually hurt by it, she wouldn’t tell him.

His eyes flew up to meet hers and in a small moment of confidence, Lando stated, “Because you love me.”

The four words hung in the air, painful and so incredibly true. She tried to come up with a deflection or some sort of counterargument, but, by the way he looked at her, she knew it was no use.

Sighing, “How long have you known?”

His hand grabbed ahold of her arm, her body finally not creating more distance, “That doesn’t matter. Y/n, this doesn’t change how I see you. In fact, knowing it’s true is good because…” He trailed off, their eyes lingering on each other as they both braced themselves for what was about to be said. Y/n let out a small smile for once that night and let herself get lost in the idea of what he was about to reveal, “I lo-”

Whatever he was about to say was completely interrupted when a car pulled up next to them, the window from the backseat being rolled down and Luisinha’s face popping out.

“Good, you found her! Let’s go home. Max and I are so tired.” She gave a tight-lipped smile, unknowingly having stopped a moment that would’ve ended her relationship. Her eyes seemed to follow their movements closely as if she was suspicious of the moment she had caught them in.

Lando looked back to Y/n, an apology swimming in his eyes, but she disregarded it. Muttering incoherent words, she yanked her arm from his hold and got in his car.

Defeated, once more, by the girl she wanted to be.

—

Lacy, oh, lacy. It’s like you’re out to get me. You poison every little thing that I do. Lacy, oh, lacy. I just loathe you lately and I despise my jealous eyes, and how hard they fell for you.

Days after that night, Luisinha’s entire demeanor toward Y/n shifted. She became more antagonistic. Long gone were the sweet comments about Y/n’s appearance, in place were backhanded compliments that had more than a few people raising their eyebrows.

Everything Y/n did was scrutinized and corrected by her, making it seem as though Y/n was incompetent. Subtly mean, Y/n found her reason to hate Luisinha. It was bittersweet, truthfully. Something Y/n had wanted to feel for so long; pure annoyance at the other girl in Lando’s life, but, it also caused a rift between her and him.

Lando and Y/n, the supposed iconic duo, stopped talking. Disappearing from her so rapidly were the nights when they would go out to get food only to gossip the whole time; disappearing were the times when he would invite her out with him and Max. Suddenly, she was seeing Luisinha laughing along with Max as they sat in the same booth she had just a few weeks before on different fan accounts. Luisinha, the better version of her, had become her immediate replacement and it killed her soul. A family she once admired had been stolen from her at the hands of someone she still loved and the other a woman whom, no matter how harsh she was, Y/n would always idolize and yearn to be.

Confusing, nevertheless. Questions now kept her awake at night instead of the usual self-torment.

Wasn’t Lando about to tell her he loved her on that cold, quiet street?

If so, why would he have ousted her so easily?

Why had she given her all to someone who, seemingly, didn’t care?

But, the one thing that never left her alone, the question that agonized her the most was the one there could never be a satisfactory answer to.

Why couldn’t she be Luisinha?

Yeah, I despise my rotten mind and how much it worships you.

A/N: LMK KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS BOTH GOOD AND BAD IDK HOW TO FEEL ABT THIS ONE I HOPE YOU LIKED IT

I wish someone would make a Harwin Strong x reader story based on that scene where Rhaenyra comes back covered in blood

Perzys se Rūkla (Fire and Flowers) - Masterlist

Pairing: Daemon Targaryen x OFC (Melessa Tyrell) Warnings: Smut, angst.

Synopsis: When Daemon returns to King's Landing for the first time in fifteen years he sets his sights on his nephew Aemond's betrothed, Melessa. The trouble with happy endings though, is that they rarely work out when deep down you feel you don't deserve one...

Moodboard by the wonderfully talented @ruby-dragon

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six (FINAL)