Fucking Hell, I Miss The Wilds Already

Ithan Holstrom home alone

😭

ohhhh everyone at portland row has the same amount of hatred for themselves and they love each other so much and they would happily die if it means the other two would live and they each hate themselves so much but they refuse to watch the others fall into that state of casual suicide/ spiral of self-deprication and they each pull the other up from the void constantly because they are each other home and they all love each other so much and i'm going to c r y thinking about them. they're child soldiers hating themselves for actions they have no control over but the others look at them and say "on purpose!!! i am going to love you on purpose!!!!" they live in a society who doesn't care if they live or die, so they've made one for themselves in portland row where they take tea before every session and the others come running when something bad happens to the others because the care and they love so passionately and so wholly and so consistently and when george and lucy thought they were going to die, the first thing that they thought to do was apologize to each other. and it doesn't matter if lucy and lockwood do love each other because that's not what portland row was built on. when lockwood was a kid, it was built on his parents love (for their work and for their children), and it was built on his sister's love. and now lockwood is the last of his name but not really because, isn't everyone in portland row a lockwood, and a karim, and a carlyle? it doesn't matter what sort of love fills portland row, as long as it's true and honest and whole. love is.

PAIN

"And I want you to know that Portland Row will always be open for business. There's a light burning in the living room, cakes on the table, new cases yet to solve...Please drop by any time. Its your home too after all."

im weeping mr shroud.

you’re my son. 🥺

Shut up everybody I’m emotional

Okay so, I was watching Lockwood & Co right, as you do, specifically the episode after Lucy and Lockwood jump into the Thames to escape from glitter sword

So, when they get back we see them getting dressed out of their wet clothes and it’s such an important scene that they included and here’s why:

There’s the scene with Lucy and it shows her looking at the necklace, but not putting it on. She picks it up and she gives it a sad almost regretful look before she puts it down and we know that she was fiddling with it with the Penelope meeting which is what clued Penelope in so to her it signifies Lockwood and their relationship and she isn’t putting it on but she isn’t throwing it away either. She’s mad at him, she definitely hasn’t forgiven him, but she’s not tossing him away either.

Now Lockwood, this is the one that got me excited. We have seen him wearing “normal” clothes in front of Lucy before. It would seem to be the obvious decision that, since they believe everything is over and the next step is to go to sleep, to get into comfortable clothes. But Lockwood doesn’t do that. Lockwood is one of those individuals who use the way they dress as a defense, a sort of armor, and when Lockwood gets dressed he dresses in his usual suit and tie, in his armor before he goes down to talk with Lucy. He has no clue where he stands with Lucy anymore, that ease he shows earlier with that sweater and t-shirt is gone and he’s preparing himself for the worst case scenario. He’s preparing himself for Lucy to leave him and then he walks in and Lucy’s wearing regular Lucy clothes (but then again, she doesn’t use her clothes as armor) and she’s not facing him and he’s so nervous and scared and you can see it on his face. He’s not wearing his coat, he still has hope that maybe just maybe he hasn’t completely fucked everything up but he doesn’t know and it scares him

IDK Lockwood and him using clothes as armor makes me emotional everytime does anyone else see this???

You're telling me Eliot Spencer, the guy who wipes the floor with 6/7 bad guys in SECONDS, the guy who got rid of a goon in the kitchen and didn't even have to stop garnishing and plating coz he'll be damned if he got an order late, that guy, just, tells his Hardison to stop eating his food? Doesn't try to wrestle it away? When we know he could take it away and paralyse him with one hand without even using all the fingers? Instead he just says stop eating my food and grumbles how Hardison can't run a brew pub and then cooks for said brew pub? Huh.

Ok we all talk about the Pevensies’ trauma at returning to Earth at the end of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe and their trouble readjusting to life there again but think of all the funny/good parts too

They return from the country, and their mom is surprised when all her children hug her at the station. Even Peter, who thinks he’s all grown up. Even Edmund, who went away surly and withdrawn. She doesn’t know her children haven’t seen her in over a decade.

They miss their dear Cair Paravel, but they absolutely do not miss its chamber pots. Indoor plumbing is amazing.

It takes a while to remember how modern technology works, though. How many heart attacks did the siblings give their parents or the professor because they walked into a dark room only to turn on the light and find the children sitting there in the dark. (They were by the window! There was still plenty of light from the sunset! They would have gotten a candle in a minute!) The kids sheepishly remember oh yeah electricity is a thing.

(Edmund has a new electric torch in Prince Caspian. He was so excited to get that torch. Almost more excited than you’d think a kid his age would be, and his parents expect Peter at least to tease him, but the siblings all agree light in your hand at the touch of a switch is terrific.)

Suddenly getting really high grades in some subjects and terrible in others. Their grammar, reading comprehension, spelling, vocab, even penmanship? Amazing. History and geography? They don’t remember anything. One time in class Susan forgets Earth is round and wants to die.

Also they can never remember what the date is supposed to be because Narnia uses different months and years. They can estimate time really well by looking at the sun though, and Edmund at least can always tell which way is north etc without thinking about it (again, using the sun)

Okay but how many times did they go to pick something up or reach something and realize they are so much shorter and less muscled than they expect? It’s a common sight to see Peter climbing on counters to reach a top cabinet, grumbling about how he’s High King this is demeaning. (No he never takes the extra five seconds to grab a stool. He will climb that shelf.)

Peter and Susan being delighted because they are no longer almost thirty. (In a few years Edmund and Lucy will tease them about being old and their parents will not understand.)

Lucy doesn’t have to deal with periods anymore for a few years yet. Susan might not either. Heck yeah

Lucy loves to climb into her siblings’ laps and be cuddled. In Narnia she eventually she grew too big, but now she is small and snuggleable again. Peter is her favorite, and if she’s upset, he’ll tickle her and tell bad jokes until she’s smiling again, but really she loves cuddling with all her family. She grew up without her parents; how many times did she just want to crawl into her mom’s lap and her mom was a world away? Imagine the first time she realizes she can now. Or, imagine one day, a cold and grey sort of day, when the rain is pattering against the windows, and it sounds like the rain on the windows of the Professor’s house, that first day they went exploring. It sounds like the day they played hide and seek. It sounds so like the rain on the windows of Cair Paravel, that if Lucy closes her eyes she can imagine she’s back there, having tea and chatting with Mr. Tumnus before the fireplace of her room, and soon the rain will stop, and they will go out on the balcony and wave to the naiads and the dryads and the mermaids, who have come out to enjoy the rain and visit one other on the banks of the Great River winding past Cair Paravel down to the sea.

But if Lucy looks out the window, all she’ll see is the rain over London, so it’s not only a cold and grey sort of day, it’s a lonely sort of day too.

Susan and Edmund are playing chess in the living room (and they must have studied with Professor Kirke, thinks their mother, because they certainly weren’t that good when they left). Lucy goes over to Edmund, and oh dear, thinks their mother, now he’s going to call her a baby and be horrible to her, but instead he picks her up and puts her on his lap without even taking his eyes off the chessboard; it’s simply a matter of course.

“Doesn’t the rain sound familiar?” says Lucy in a solemn, wistful way.

Their mother doesn’t know what that means, but her siblings must, because Susan says, “Yes, Lu, it does,” and Edmund gives her a little hug with his free arm as she tucks herself under his chin to watch the chess match.

(Five minutes later there is a crash from the next room as Peter falls off a counter. Their mother does not understand the words he must have picked up from the Professor, but he’s grounded for them anyway. His siblings have no respect for their High King, because they refuse to stop laughing.)